PrivateTim

Is Web Camming cheating when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship? After reading a lot stories here and talking with friends about right and wrong, morals, promiscuity etc. I get all kinds of varying answers. I have some friends who say not only is web camming not bad when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, but it is actually good for it because it provides sexual variety and release with someone you'll never actually meet. Others say it is definitely cheating because cheating is about what is in your heart, not necessarily physical contact. What does anyone think? PS. for a good time bring it up over coffee with a bunch of friends who are couples and watch the fur fly

I have a lot of friends who are out and lazy. Online was the easiest way to get laid with no entanglements. Why screw around with someone you know that could get you in trouble with your BF or an ex, etc. when you can have anonymous sex online or arrange hook-ups on line. Some just enjoyed the chase online. I can't even go have a beer with my single gay friends because they spend the whole time on Grinder on their iPhones. And trust me it is terrifying to have a teen these days with sites like Stickam.com and cam4.com out there.

Yeah, but look at that bubble butt!! This is Josh Farris from Team USA on the C Team (Developmental). He is from Washington state, but is living in Colorado Springs now and trains with the OTC.

There is lots of camping in southern California, mountain, desert and beaches with good surf breaks. Will is more likely to go with buds to Baja California and camp and surf at K-38, Harry's or Los Gaviotos. And for a car a Toyota Forerunner or a Range Rover would be more common in Malibu unless JP sticks with the whole GM thing. There is also ZERO chance of a surf rat like Will heading back east for school. He is more likely to go to USCB with it's surf break on campus and Rincon, UCSD above Black's Beach, UCI so he can surf Newport Beach and be near Drew, Cal Poly to surf Cayucos or at the outside UC Santa Cruz so he can surf Soquel, Capitola and Mavericks when it gets big. Epic.

Ky was the hot Asian boy from the GBLT and partially in Brad's defense, I'd have blown him too. I didn't mention the straight hockey player because he went into the deal with his eyes (and pants) wide open.

What denomination is Father Tim? I mean to be called "Father" he kind of needs to be an orthodox religion, Catholic, Anglican or Orthodox like Russian or Greek Orthodox. Most Protestant religions call their head a pastor or reverend and they don't wear clerical collars or go to seminary in the same way Catholics do, they go to Bible colleges or if they go to a place like Dallas Theological Seminary, it is just a graduate school, it isn't a cloister the way a Catholic seminary is.

One thing that surprises me that we haven't seen, that was so crucial to the gay community is the Internet. I mean we just hit the new millennium and no one's mentioned bulletin boards, Compuserve, Prodigy, AOL, IRC, m4m chat rooms, web camming, the rise in speed from getting online at 1,200 to 2,400 to 9,600 and then the blazing fast 56k modem? How would you ever use all that speed! Paying a bill by how long you were online, emails costing 25 cents a piece, your parents getting their first $400 prodigy bill! and this is all before 2000. That was all before these social networking sites I've heard of like Adam4Adam (whatever that is), CraigsList, Gay.com, etc....... and there are the less innocuous ones. Who didn't have a Friendster or MySpace account? When was the last time you signed in?

Arbour, I am starting to think your imagination is waning...... screw descendants, we want JP's Children alla Methuselah's Children and Time Enough For Love. We want Stef and JP still screwing when they are 1,500 years old hitting on 19 year olds and hear, "wow, you still have the body of a 400 year old!" from them.

Not so much on the emotion side, but to clear my head I swim. My best ideas and story plots come while I am in the water. Wine helps too

Some of these have been mostly answered in Millennium, but I still think that Darius, having been raised in the environment he has been, still has the potential to be a Cole or an Andre or if not extreme, at least be willing to fool around with guys just to get off. JJ, same thing. Bi-sexual wasn't an option with him, but in the figure skating world, especially when he starts traveling to international events, I can see him having encounters with fellow skaters he admires. And Will, we have those answers.

A good point on the surf coach. I think of Brad as very much as a sexual predator sometimes in that he only cares about fulfilling his needs. I know you can not seduce the unwilling, but knowing how the male libido works and then stimulating people to the point where they do something that the might not have wanted to do before you pushed the buttons seems sleazy. Knowing that Fr. Tim wasn't a simple horn dog and that he had issues with casual sex, yet going ahead and pushing the temptations I thought was wrong. Ditto for the surf coach and just because of the issue of seducing a straight, young guy, but as you mention, someone that Will is possibly (likely?) polishing his trophy over. And the same thing for Ky. Ky is like a lot of Asian guys I have known, especially having gone to Berkeley, not terribly promiscuous. The fact that Ky and Jordan (?) were younger and Fr. Tim inexperienced makes it seem even more predatory.

JJ??

Okay, through Ch. 30 and I really wanted to wait until I got through more chapters, before I commented, but I'll explode if I try to hold it in more. Brad it still an out of control, selfish, self absorbed bully and son of a bitch. It is his way or the highway. The deal he made with Robbie was 30 days and then if either one wanted to stop seeing other people, they'd stop. But Robbie actually had THAT deal forced on him, bullied on him by Brad. Robbie said he didn't need to do it, but Brad forced him to just like he forces his will on everyone. Forgive me if I don't shed tears for a 37 year old billionaire with a 9 inch cock and hard body. He should have been in therapy years ago. Brad acts as if this whole issue was Robbie's fault.... oh gives that "no one's perfect" spiel and he is willing to accept 3% of the responsibility, but the way he treats people and lets his temper flash I give him equal share of the blame for the initial problem and the lion's share of the problems since then. He is such a selfish bastard, he hasn't stopped to wonder how his problems with Robbie have effected his kids. He asked one offhanded question to Darius, big whoop. Even though he didn't finish with Matt, he got way far beyond decent and appropriate. And the whole episode with attacking Ferrari is a major outburst worthy of mandated anger management much like his attack on Billy where he ruptured one of Billy's testicles.

I think the part you don't get maybe is no one gives a crap about these kids except the private agencies that help them. Mark talks about forms and blah blah blah, but they aren't placing kids in foster situations, there are no courts, no social workers, these kids come and go as they please unless the agency helping them has rules about how many times you can split and come back. Some places just offer temp places to stay over night ( Jeff Griffth Youth Center ) and some that are longer term that have strict rules ( Covenant House ). In Drew's case, no one is looking for him, no one cares where he is. His picture isn't on any milk cartons and no Amber Alerts.

I am guessing you don't work in "the industry". The rules are completely different. It doesn't matter what state or federal laws say, Hollywood operates on its own rules and gets away with it because the town is so small, no one can afford to burn bridges. The casting couch isn't just for above the line people.

It is easy to see when someone is attractive, but a person with a shred of decency would never see the son of his partner, the brother of his kids that way. Even if Robbie and Brad had a total blow-up, never to be together again break-up, nothing would justify or excuse hooking up with Matt. I wouldn't say it happens all the time, it happen and it is creepy and sick when it does. Human beings are not animals on the Discovery Channel. We have reason that overrides base desire. There is no good reason to act on a selfish impulse that is destructive to a lot of people. I can not see lust overriding not just logic, but decency and responsibility. There are too many over parties to be hurt. Brad would have to be completely amoral. Character is what you do when no one is looking. I am only through Chapter 5, but I feel Brad has made zero progress in growing up or maturing. He tells Robbie it is okay to have the one month, is all calm and rational and then blows all over because he does exactly what Brad said he could. And it is all your fault Arbour, if you had put Brad in anger management therapy like I told you back in Be Rad, he might have grown up a little. I also don't buy the "one kiss and he drew me into him" BS stuff or sparks flying from a handshake. If Brad does go there, just to spite and hurt Robbie OR just to fulfill his own selfish lust, he is a waste of human space. Not that I have strong feelings on this......

I totally get why Aaron was so hepped up to the join the fight in 1942. The world was a much more innocent place in the years before WWII. While 9-11 was horrible and fueled anger and resentment and sent a good number of young men down to their local recruiting off, it wasn't inconceivable. We knew there were Muslim extremists who wanted to kill us and harm us, we just hadn't figured they could be so successful at it. By contrast, most Americans had no idea the Japanese were mad at us and very few knew where Pearl Harbor was. The attack shocked and shook the country to its core. Steven's attitude is the more surprising one, not Aaron's. If you want to read an amazing book on Peleliu, try With the Old Breed by E.B. Sledge. Two other great books on the fighting in the Pacific are Goodbye Darkness by William Manchester and one not by a participant, One Square Mile of Hell, The Battle for Tarawa

Just finished The Box and I loved it, I think it is the best of the CAP series so far for the way it explains so many other aspects of the story. I am sorry Steven and Aaron never got the chance to have a life together. I also wish there was a way to have an alternative ending where Steven came home and built a life with Nathan only to have it dawn on him what Never Ever Grieve, Only Remember Steven meant. But even at that, If Steven had lived through the war he could never have had the life he would have wanted with Nathan or Aaron either for that matter. They would do what Nathan and so many other men who were gay in those days did; marry women they could love, have families and bury those awful yearnings as best they could or find ways to fulfill their needs as gay/bi men did for generations and still do in parts of the country. I mean, you all don't really believe those huts on frozen lakes are to catch fish in the dead of winter do you?

I wouldn't mind a story with Darius as the narrator, but probably not as part of the CAP series because CAP is about the trials and tribulations of gay, possibly bisexual, men.

But the question is, where do you draw the line between promiscuity and horniness? When does it turn to sex addiction and is unhealthy for you? What are the physical consequences and psychological consequences? Is getting laid by three guys a day horniness, promiscuous or sex addiction? Mark touched a little on the bath houses of the 1970's and the Hollywood sex parties of that era too. We have also seen the bathroom encounters in his stories too. All of them could be said to be a consequence of the times and society at that time, like when JP first found relief in the bathrooms at Princeton, because it was so hard in those days to meet other gays. You had to use code words like "friend of Dorothy" and "gay" and walk that fine line between getting some or maybe getting beaten up or possibly both. How does gay marriage play into this? In straight marriage you generally pledge to "forsake all others". We know that doesn't happen, people cheat all the time, but the cheating is generally seen as a bad thing for the marriage and often destroys them. In the blurb from the book on promiscuity, two phrases jumped out at me in regards to the CAP series that I bolded, "addiction to the sensation of

I see Rory just like this.

Live in CA. Father's family is pure Scots, even if some of them came from Scotland via Canada. Mother's family is more complicated, of her great grandparents 5 of the 8 were German/Austrian/Swiss ancestry but parts of the countries they were from are now Danish and French, so like I said it is complicated. The other three were mostly English with the earliest ancestors getting here in 1640 as indentured servants. The English part married into the German part in the 1870's in Iowa, but parts of the family (the English) still live within 30 miles of West Hartford where they settled in the 1670's. Their progeny pushed west though leaving family in NY, PA, OH, IL, MI, WI, IA & MN. A lot of them still live in those states. Similarly the German side of the family that arrived in Philadelphia in 1707 still has branches in Lancaster Co (PA Dutch) and other parts of PA & OH and one of my umpteenth cousins lives in the town where my great great great great great great great great great great grandfather who was on that ship in 1707 is buried. But they had itchy feet too and a bunch moved on to IA, NE, TX, ND, SD and just about anyplace else they could find rich farmland. A few even found their way to California during the Gold Rush days. A few stayed, but most made their fortune, promptly lost it and moved back east to go back to farming.

No trust me, I have seen it first hand how little concern or understanding there is about AIDS. As to Stanfurd, the freshman year is one of the toughest, everyone is so paranoid about failure and competition that they almost never party. The joke about Stanfurd women, not noted for their beauty, was that they were just guys who had studied their balls off.

I do love the old time traditional carols, but I am also a total sucker for the WWII songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXcNfA4qebQ&feature=related Especially this one. It makes me cry everytime. So many fine young men never did come for Christmas.

I don't have a huge moral problem with promiscuity, but that doesn't mean I don't have problems with it. There is the obvious disease issue. Promiscuity killed a lot of gay men in the 1980's and '90's and there are lots of nasty diseases out there still. Then I think there is potential emotional damage in promiscuity too and it might be a symptom of a psychological disorder. Here is a nice blurb about the book Psychotherapy and the Promiscuous Patient