AFriendlyFace

I agree with Perth, why would anyone in the closet tell someone they were gay if asked? WE - and other "out" people - would presumably do so, but I think it's pretty unlikely a closeted teen would. (and admittedly I think it would be a pretty stupid thing to do unless he did want to come out or really trusted the inquirer) I have a friend who has a friend and when I met him he set off my gaydar a little, but my friend had previously mentioned that he was straight. Later however, I asked "Are you sure he's straight?" and my friend responded, "Yes, he told me he was straight in high school right after I came out to him." Now I'm not saying the guy is gay, but I really don't think telling someone you're straight in high school after the topic more or less "comes up", is really much of an indication of whether or not someone's really straight. (I do believe my friend that the other guy is straight however, since presumably it really would have come out by now if he weren't in the course of their friendship, but that fact that he said he was straight in high school when probably feeling put on the spot seems essentially irrelevant) Graeme's advice seems like a good start though! Just my opinions, -Kevin

Into the Night - Santana Feat. Chad Kroger (they make such a good combo!)

Dude, she sounds almost exactly like an old friend of mine! In my experience girls that do these things have a personality I click well with on a platonic level. I think I actually agree with you! I'm shocked because my tastes have evolved so much over the years that I can say this when I used to think any at all were unattractive. LOL, I'm such a space cadet, I was sitting here thinking "wait, WHERE did she get that piercing?" SOOOOO, how'd it go, Patrick? -Kevin

Congrats on your first thread! That seems like a good comparison. Also a great explanation IMO Interestingly enough, this post that Graeme found was the first time I ever created a thread in the Lounge, in fact I think it was the first time I ever posted in the Lounge period, and may also have been the first time I ever created a thread. For the first three months I was here I posted exclusively in the Domaholics forum, and can't remember if I started any threads or not. As Graeme said, the more you're around gay people the better your gaydar works. When I first created that thread I had a small handful gay and lesbian friends and was only out very selectively. Now, I'm completely out where I live, and surrounded by GLBT people. Consequently, I now consider myself to have a very good gaydar. Exactly! Give it some time and give it some work. I can definitely say that what helps the best is actually interacting with other gay people, and practicing. Take care and good luck! -Kevin FYI: if anyone was wondering about the guy in question in my thread, I've come to the conclusion that he probably was gay but a big closet case.

Well said, Tarin! And you're right! You and alot of the others are very nifty LOL, personally, finding a partner that already had kids would be a slight advantage to me. I'm I'd like to raise my own "from scratch", but I'd definitely be excited about having these new kids in my life as well Good post, Viv. Except I was a bit disappointed to be one of the people singled out as having made unfortunate remarks, since I'm very much "on the side" of bisexual people, and was only trying to bring everyone together and make them feel better. Anyway, with regards to the paragraph above I definitely agree. In fact I've always said that logically speaking if you were going to assign "values" to the different sexualities (which I think is a mistake) bisexuality should definitely be the "best", since it is less restrictive and encompasses a greater scoop of human differences. Obviously I don't have a problem with exclusively gay or straight people, but I don't see why anyone would knowingly choose to not be able to see the beauty inherent in both genders, and to then make their decisions based on true compatibility instead of some label. The whole thing with societal pressures is...unfortunate. However, I had already consciously decided to ignore it well before high school. I'll be damned if I let the opinions of society, particularly people I barely know (which is what society is, each of us only has a personal relationship with but a few people comparatively), dictate how I'm going to live my life. I make my own decisions thank you. So anyway, if I were bisexual I certainly wouldn't date girls because it's easier. I certainly wouldn't leave my boyfriend to cave in to the opinion of the faceless masses. I would love, date, and anything else, with whomever my heart and head deemed was the best person. Actually I do that now, but my orientation is setup such that those people are all guys. So if I could choose, yes, I would choose to be gay, because that's who I am and I like it. My second choice would be to be bisexual because I still think that logically speaking that's obviously the best choice (and I would choose it if I didn't already have a personal bias toward being gay). I would take being straight last because I have no bias, personal or logical, toward it. I like straight people, I have no problems with them, but I don't want to be straight thank you. -Kevin

Wow! I'm sorry, CJ And I do agree with you about there being a difference between being out and being stupid lol. Well good for you, Robbie! I've also finally decided what my vote/decision is: Yes - if I thought they were going to come out soon. Or more like Vic said if I thought they were at least willing to test the waters and some day be mostly out. Take care all, -Kevin

Well it seems I'm the only person who voted "No" so far Really I suppose my answer is more of a "rarely" anyway. WAY back in the day in the first 5 or 6 months after I joined I used to frequent the chat room quite regularly, then I didn't go at all for several months, then only sporadically later on when we were having the problems/infrequent use. Anyway, in all honesty it's just not something I personally am particularly interested in right now. That said I do actually favour bringing it back if that would be a feasible, resource effective move. Lots of other people did enjoy it Besides at some point down the road I may use it regularly myself. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

My thoughts exactly Graeme! Actually I think he even posted his thread prior to the chapter!

Oh my! I'm sorry to hear this! Good luck with everything!

Well they're designed to be about the size and weight of a book, to not require being plugged in (and have a long battery life), and to have a good resolution/contrast that won't be hard on the eye. In fact the article I read went into great detail about how much research they did to create something that would be, for lack of a better phrase, easy on the eyes. Plus, they're always connected to the internet no matter where you are because of some new, magical technology that's an advancement of wi-fi. I think it's either called whisper-net or shadow-net, but I could be wrong and I have no idea how it works, just that it's supposed to work anytime anywhere, and that you're supposed to be able to find, buy, and download a book to it within 1 minute (or maybe it was 5 minutes, can't remember). -Kevin

LOL, he's not going strong; he's going to bed!

Here's one that's been a part of my vocabulary for years: "Frien(d)cest" [the "d" is an optional spelling but isn't stressed in pronunciation.] Friencest N. Casual sexual contact with one's friend.* Jerry and Tim's relationship was never the same once they'd committed friencest with each other. *Note that people with F'buddies aren't necessarily committing friencest because the nature of friencest is such that a primary, fairly close platonic relationship must exist between two (or more! ) people before they decide to introduce sex into the mix. **Friencest is also not quite the same thing as two close friends who decide to take their relationship to the next level and thus enter into a serious, long-term relationship. Friencest is done without a strong expectation of a possible romantic relationship.

I would have told you if you had asked! LOL I wasn't really aware of how much I did use that one until this thread came about. As a result I've been making more of an effort to spell out. -Kevin

Hey Everyone! I was just wondering what you guys thought of Amazon's new book reader, the Kindle? I read an article about them and they sound pretty nifty! (They've also been advertising for them here at GA) Granted, I probably won't be getting one for a good 3 or 4 years even if they are reliable, simply because for whatever reason I'm inherently distrustful and intimidated by new technology (I've only just begun considering getting an IPOD), but I'd love to hear the opinion of those who do keep up with this sort of thing. I really think they could be the future of books. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

I do too! I agree that it's a semi-departure for them, but for some reason "Everything" reminds me of it. Fashion Victim - Green Day

Awww, well if you only spent three hours with her she was probably too busy trying to enjoy the little time she was getting to want to mess it up by complaining about something she couldn't change! (or would that just be my attitude?)

Oh it's nothing as complicated as counting! LOL on the forum page itself with the index of threads you'll see a column entitled "Replies" with the number of replies each thread has (it's in between the thread's name and the person who started it's name), simply click on it and a little pop up box will appear with the info

I respect that...a breakup with one could get messy

I suspect we'd go with something more informal, like "The goat formerly known for leaving 'em hangin'"

There. Fixed it for ya Don't you dare! I'd miss you horribly -Kevin

Not to be pedantic, but I think he was calling you inbred instead J/K

Now now, If I recall correctly it was "Second-most prolific porter" that you tried to saddle me with.

Well that's nifty, Patrick! I hope it doesn't hurt, and I hope you enjoy it!

Well actually, your blog would be a much better place to vent about it lol

I didn't say that! I said I didn't know whether or not I would date another person in the closet. It probably would depend on the circumstances. Good for you, Ieshwar!! He's lucky to have you! Actually, I think this is exactly what I meant earlier about depending on the circumstances. What I'm saying is that I don't know if I would date another closeted person in my current situation/society/part of life, etc. What I mean is I'm out, it's not a very big deal, most of my friends are out, we can easily go out in public with boyfriends, we have an entire "gay district", etc. so as long as we're not very stupid (going into the wrong part of town and behaving inappropriately) it's unlikely anyone will even make a rude comment. As a result I've grown very accustomed to this luxury and it's a little difficult to, as others have pointed out, "regress" in terms of freedoms and self-assurance. In your society things are obviously much different. I'm very sorry to venture the guess that you've never been able to go out with a group of gay friends and be yourselves. Those freedoms aren't common place As a result if I did live in Mauritius I suspect I never would have come out in the first place, and there wouldn't be very many openly gay people, so of course I would date someone in the closet. Having that special someone with whom I could share that side of myself would be a huge comfort and improvement over not having any other gay people in my life. Things are easier in the U.S. and even easier in the big cities. It's actually very possible to almost completely surround yourself with gay or at least gay friendly life if you want to. I almost feel embarrassed to admit this but nearly my entire social circle consists of GLBT people or straight allies. My only major links to the straight world over the past year and a half or so has been work, and incidental daily life activities (getting groceries, running errands, etc.), and even these could more or less be avoided by taking a job in the gay community itself, and choosing to exclusively live, work, shop, bank, eat, etc. in the gay district. Obviously I'd still run into straight people all the time, but it would be highly unlikely that they would be (openly) homophobic given our location (and considering that they could get themselves into social trouble by doing that). Recently I was having a discussion with a group of friends and one of them jokingly remarked "I don't have a problem with straight people, it just isn't the norm". Anyway, what I'm saying is that it's a completely different atmosphere, and I do feel extremely lucky and blessed to be a part of it Life as a gay person really isn't difficult for me at this phase in my life. I wish it were such for everyone! -Kevin