AFriendlyFace

That was a good story Slaveboy, I really liked it! LOL and I agree with the kid science is boring compared to Lit. Anyway I really liked the style too. Nice how everything came together.

Exactly!

Hey Viv! I'm glad your daughter's performance went well! That was a sad story about the kid with the dog. It was really nice of you to give him the ten dollars and the warm smile. I bet it made his night. It's nice that Rich was able to "read" you so well to instantly know something was wrong too. LOL and I think his suggestion of the sucks is right on the money! Actually I'm pretty much doing the same thing, wearing my flip-flops in doors, but I've got socks on with them now. Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Awww! Sounds like you really have your priorities straight, Eric. I agree with the family part, and hope someday to add boyfriend to that too

Happy Birthday!

Yep finals here too. Don't have anyone to distract me though, except Timmy and Lucky (my cats lol). I agree with the earlier comment about "study breaks" lol, may be easier to just go with it, then after everything's settled down, get back to work.

LOL today at work this lady came in and ordered turkey, then as I'm finishing it up she say's "thanks, it's for a vegetarian." Now this did catch me off guard, and while I'm sure I shoulda just kept my mouth shut I was thinking there must be some mix up or something so I'm like "wait, the turkey is for a vegetarian?", and she responds "yes, he doesn't eat pork". At this point I decide it's definitely best to shut up. But considering I don't eat pork either, I guess I'm a vegetarian In other news, I was a total jerk for a good part of the day. I don't even know why really, ostensibly it was a good day, lotsa nice things happened. Like we got paid today, our boss gave us our christmas presents early (sweatshirts), and I ate lunch with my friend (the one who said men and women shouldn't be alone together), I definitely think we're making progress. Anyway I was still kinda grumpy all day. I think we all were actually, and I guess it just wore off on me too. Then at one point things got a little tense between me and another coworker. We've got a very complicated history, and I think I, undeservedly, have less patience with her. It's really not fair, someone else could easily get away with alot more, but she's hurt me a few times and I'm just more likely to get defensive where she's involved. Which sucks because for the last couple of weeks things were almost back to normal with us. Then at the end of the day she just unexpectedly announces that she's decided to do me a HUGE favor, by taking my shift tomorrow so I can work on one of the two VERY long papers I have due for finals, Monday and Tuesday. I felt like a real jerk after that, actually I felt like a real jerk while I was being grumpy and irritable, and I still couldn't stop it. It also made me feel bad because I'm worried she just did it because she wanted to smooth things over. And it worked too, I was instantly over the rough spots during the day, and all smiles where she was concerned. I hate how shallow I can be. Anyway I don't want her just doing this because she feels like she has to so that we can be "okay" again. On the other hand, it's a nice change since the only way we fixed things last time was by me being relentlessly nice, friendly, and cheerful with her until she got over it. So maybe it was my turn anyway. Of course I think I was being unfair to start with. Oh well I need to learn to be less moody, already knew that. Anyway I think I'm going to do something truly stupid and walk the mile and a half or so to the bank and make an ATM deposit. Yeah it's cold, dark, and windy out, and I'll have to walk along a busy street to do it. And of course I could just drive or wait till tomorrow. BUT I really think the walk will clear my head. Anyway take care everyone! and look I managed to keep my post to four paragraphs! LOL I'm going to keep that New Year's resolution to be concise yet! ***hopes no one notices his last post on Dom's page about DD17 ***

Hey Nick! wow that sounds awesome, I'd love to actually have that stuff in my backyard! Heck, I'd like to have a backyard! LOL I feel lucky enough that I have a patio in this apartment. California sounds like a really cool state.

Wow thanks James! That was really nice LOL you guys just haven't seen my less desirable qualities , but thanks

OK so this is possibly my favorite chapter yet, definitely my favorite of the last 4 or 5. Why? Because this chapter was 100% seth-free!! In fact I think they only mentioned the little creep's name 3 or 4 times. (HMM I wonder if I started referring to Seth as "Seth TLC" it would take off? ) Anyway I think another great aspect of this chapter is that Rory and Aaron didn't act like self-centered jerks the entire chapter. Rory actually handled stuff in a very muture healthy way. And Aaron outright apologized for his bad behavior with the ultimatium, AND opened up a little to Rory. And I don't care if it makes me seem nieve and gullable, I'm once again very sympathetic to poor Aaron's plight. I think the trouble is that everyone (myself included) wants to either peg Aaron as "good" or "bad". The thing is it's just not that simple, it's not a black and white issue, it's definitely something with shades of gray. Aaron DOES have some good qualities. He's fun to be with, he CAN be very understanding, and he really does seem to be trying. But yeah he's definitely got issues too. Clearly he has some kind of intimacy stuff he needs to work out. He's also got quite a bit of junk with his family he needs to sort out. I mean just the fact that he thinks the way he and Cody treat each other is indicative of a pretty good relationship shows that he's got a messed up home life. You know you're right Alan, Aaron isn't the only gay kid in the world to have homophobic parents, but that still doesn't ameliorate the situation. It's tough no matter what. It's like saying "well she's not the only one who ever lost her child in an accident", true, and perhaps some people handle it better than others, but I don't think it should be trivialized, you can never anticipate how someone's going to face a bad situation, it even varies for that same person depending on other circumstances. Yes Aaron messed up badly, yes he's not the only one to deal with this junk, but I think the fact that his parents sent him to a therapist who tried to implant false memories of molestation kinda qualifies as something tramatic which could easily screw with your head. And again I'm not even blaming his parents, I'm sure from their perspective they're trying to do what's best for him. It's all relative really. I'm sure I'll take some flake for it, but I have a problem condemning most people's bad actions, no matter how messed up, or bad they seem, because quite frankly you never know exactly how they were feelings, or what they were thinking, or what experiences have led them to that point. That doesn't change the way the victims should feel. Luke has every right to feel betrayed and hurt by Aaron, Aaron has every right to feel demoralized by his parents, and Rory has every right to feel objectified by Aaron's lack of "intimacy" after they've messed around. They have every right to feel hurt and demand better treatment, but any fair evaluation should take the motives, thoughts, and feelings of the other people into consideration. LUKE should be mad about the way Aaron treated him, and I'd be mad too, and am mad "for Luke" as it were, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to understand how and why it happened. It's an over simplifaction to say that everyone who does something hurtful was acting out of purely EVIL movites, in fact I think that's very rare, most of the time if anything people are either being selfish, or think they're acting in the other person's best interest. This doesn't make it right, but let's try to at least understand it. And of course I know I can take some heat over my intense "dislike" of Seth thus far, but that's just because too much is still mysterious about him, in fact I don't doubt at all that I'll feel more sympathetic towards him as soon as I have a reason to. That said, I think I can identify more with Luke than anyone else in this chapter. That's EXACTLY how I handle stuff, and it probably isn't the best way. But yeah I'll basically get ticked off about something, be pissy and avoident for awhile. Then later on alone, I'll try to work out what the other person was going through, or figure out why they said/did that, forgive them, and then the next time I see them, I'll just be super friendly and nice, and act like nothing was ever wrong. I'm sure it's every bit as confusing as Rory was describing, but it definitely rings true in how I handle conflicts. LOL and I'm working on it, but like Luke, once I'm over it, or at least have come to terms with it, I'd rather just not bring it up again. Yep, you're right Bard, I noticed that too, drove me crazy lol. I was also thinking wouldn't it be nice if after Aaron had dropped Rory off, if Rory could have gone in and said to Luke "hey Luke, when you were with Aaron, you ever notice he get's all detached and standoffish after he gets off?" LOL It would just be really funny and cool if they could talk about stuff like that. (NOT gonna happen I know) Anyway take care everyone!

So today was awesome! I got a full night's sleep (about 9 and a half hours), I usually try to do pretty well for sleep, but lately I've only been getting between 6-7. Anyway today was the last regular day of classes for me, next week is finals. Of course sleepoing in resulted in me missing my first class (it was on purpose BTW), but I think that's ok, because all we have left is the final, and it's only over one chapter, so hey, I'll just read the sucker. Anyway then my 2nd class went great, he's deciding to grade really leniently because of all the hurricane stuff. Looks like I may even pull off an A in there. So then I had lunch at a little restaurant in our Student Union. It's a really great place, excellent food, whole deal salad, bread, soup, meat, some kinda veggies, and awesome desert, all for 7.25! Anyway it varies daily, today the desert was Cherries Jubilee, which was AMAZING! I had two rounds of it, one normal one served over vanila ice cream, and then also a silly one served over chocolate ice cream, with m&ms and crushed oreos for toppings . Anyway so the food was awesome, and I had the best waitress I've ever had in that place. Usually the servers are just decent, pleasent enough but not exactly friendly, and the usually bring everything you ask for, just not that quickly. But this one! Wow, she was great, she was really friendly and smiley, very attentive, and prompt bringing everything! In fact she was so good that I left her a 5 dollar tip (lol almost 70%) . So then it worked out perfectly that I was finishing up just in time to go to my next time without any dead time, or having to rush. I sat by the cutest guy! LOL it was nice that the room was fairly crowded this time and I could sit right next to him without seeming like I was all up in his space. Anyway the class was really fun, it's with that fun, wacky prof. I made an entry about earlier (the one who was talking about getting rats to drink alcohol). She's just so fun! I laugh as much in her class as I do when I go to funny movies, lol! Anyway then I ran home (OK actually I drove, but running mighta been fun too ), and knocked out a quick two page paper for my next class. I think it went really well, the whole thing couldn't have taken more than about 15 min. and I think it's quite good too, it was one of those fun, opinionated/argumentative essays. I've done ALOT of those, so I know how to bash em out pretty well. Anyway then I had my last class of the semester! Then I did a little more Christmas shopping, I'm almost completely done now. PLUS I got something really cool that I've been wanting to buy. LOL now I know this is going to sound silly, but you know those bath toys for kids. Those little capsules that you drop in the water, and they gradually expand into some cool shapes like dinosaurs or something. LOL well I've been wanting some, and I finally found them and picked up two packs. I wanted dinosaurs, but all they had left was farm yard animals and backyard bugs. Anyway they were much cheaper than I expected, a pack of twelve only costs 88 cents. LOL I shoulda been playing with them all along Then on the way home I stopped by the produce market. It was awesome I got my favorite kind of oranges, a buncha apples, some bannanas, some black seedless grapes, AND the most important thing of all! AVACADOS! I love them, I only just really got into them. Last time I tried to buy some it was at wal-mart and they were a buck each and crudy. Here they were 50 cents each and awesome quality! It's funny I was so excited when I saw them, that I like frooze and didn't know what to do, Then I of course grabbed a bag and rushed forward to load up. LOL I swear I felt like jumping up and down and clapping my hands (but I waited until I got home ) . Anyway then I whipped up some home made guacamole, and chowed down while I watched a movie. THEN I took this awesome really long, really hot bubble bath. Where I did of course play with my new toys. I ended up with a blue pig, and a yellow goose. The pig stood up great, but the goose couldn't unless it leaned on it's neck . I also tried out my new shower head massager thing. It wasn't quite as great as I was hopping, but still fun. Anyway I'd better get to bed, I hope everyone had an awesome day, has an awesome week, and a wonderful well EVERYTHING!!! LOL You guys rock :-) Kevin

LOL I agree with Shadows about why he probably didn't just go with your answer. Personally I purposely avoid most science as much as possible (which I'm sure doesn't make my scientist dad too happy), so I'd probably have just smiled and said "okay" as soon as you opened your mouth

Hey Viv! I confess I haven't started reading your story yet ,,,,,I want to read it when I have plenty of time and can read a good chunk at once, and unfortuantely I've been really busy lately, between work and my end of semester finals/papers. LOL plus I have no will power for stuff like that, if I started reading something now I know I just wouldn't stop and wouldn't get anything done. Anyway I can't wait till everything slows down and I can read it . Let's see what can I not do without? I know WATER.....Of course I know no one can do without water, but I mean I've got to ALWAYS have at least a gallon jug of water in my fridge and at least several water bottles I can grab if I go somewhere. I'm constantly drinking the stuff, I drink it all day while I'm out, and then still manage to pollish off at least a gallon an evening at home (I can easily go through two if I stay in all day). I drink it with ANYTHING I eat, and I even drink it with pretty much anything else I drink....Like I'd never want JUST a glass of orange juice, or JUST a cup of hot chocolate, I gotta have water with it. I was beginning to panic when all the hurricanes came through and everyone else started buying out all the water too. By the time I was able to restock I only had one opened gallon jug in the fridge and a few bottles left (When I buy, I usually get 18 gallons, and 2 24cases, so this was VERY low for me). LOL yep, I'm pretty much always drinking or always peeing. hehehe need to go do both now . Have an awesome day!! Kevin

Hey Bao, I wish I could give you some good advice, but I really can't. I personally would suggest you avoid fighting with them OR even coming to think of them as enemies. An enemy isn't something anyone needs. If you guys can't be friends anymore perhaps you can at least go your seperate ways amicably. Having an Enemy is just a reciepe for bitterness and resentment, in my opinion. In fact my favorite quote goes like this: So anyway if you can't be friends at least try to move on without letting them leave you with pain. Also, and it may just be my gut reaction. But I'd say that that pleading the 5th thing, is actually kinda encouraging. It means at least that they don't WANT to hate you or hurt you. The sad thing is that they may NOT be able to deal with it, some people never can. I mean they may never come to "like" or even fully "accept" it, and what everyone's said is true. You definitely deserve friends who can accept you exactly as you are. But, perhaps you can still have a friendship of sorts with these other people. Friends never agree on EVERYTHING I usually find it best to just not bring up the differences and disagreements (especially in instances where neither person is going to change their minds/opinions anyway), and to instead focus on the common ground. Anyway I hope it works out, and I wish I had something more helpful to suggest. Take care, and let us know how it goes. AFriendlyFace (Kevin)

WHAT??? I musta missed that . I agree that their confrontation at the pretzel stand made me think even more that Seth was just being manipulated by Aaron, and is some how unable to resist his charms or something. But that doesn't make him a good person. As someone else commented he talked Angela into making Dave help them build that patio, that's pretty mean and spiteful, and I think he does know how Dave feels about her, in a previous chapter Rory confronted Aaron about Seth being with Angela, chances are Aaron mentioned this to Seth. In my opinion Seth is still very bad news, and until he drops some of the hostility and all around "I'm going to be the biggest jerk in the history of the world" mentality I don't like the idea of him being around any of the other characters. I think I'd have to disagree on both points. I think Rory and Luke's relationship is very cute, and I hope they do end up together, but you're right in that it could easily turn "brotherly", and I'd be okay with that too. As for DD having less characters and less complicated characters than TOU, I'd have to disagree, it seems to me like DD has alot more, and alot more complicated characters than TOU....But it may just be because DD is fresher in my mind. **Sigh** so have I, I'm afraid. I still want to see some kind of redemption for Aaron, but most of the reason I was always "in his corner" as it were, is because I saw him as some poor isolated kid who had made one mistake from which he could never be free of. I figured he basically had no friends and everyone hated him for Luke's sake. As soon as Seth was introduced to the story I started liking Aaron less and less, seeing that he did have at least one friend (if you can call the mutual horrible way in which they treat each other friendship).....now in this chapter seeing that Aaron has this whole other group of friends (and in the previous chapter in which he was playing basketball), well it looks like his whole "I thought you were different, I thought you wouldn't judge me" line which he used on Rory (and was probably the biggest reason I felt sorry for him), was well, just a load of bull. He doesn't really look that lonely without Rory, and he's still a jerk alot of the time. I also agree whole heartedly that ultimatums are bad very bad, you should never have to choose between two people you care about, and those two people should understand that (Luke clearly does). BTW C.A. what does your signiture say? It was too small and pale for me to make out. NOOOOOOOOOO! Surely we can find someone more suitable for Seth (Is chey seeing anyone? ) That said I'm afraid you're right. I have this horrible feeling Seth and Rory WILL end up together. YUCK! But maybe I"m just seeing Seth 100% from Rory's POV right now. Perhaps he has some redeeming qualities or something (No sign of them yet, but you never know). As for Aaron and Luke ending up together, well if that happened, it would almost be worth poor Rory getting stuck with Seth. I've said from the beginning I'd rather see Aaron and Luke together than Rory with either of them. I think Luke could pull off a successful redemption of Aaron. Perhaps Aaron's problems stem from his bitterness and guilt over how everything went down with Luke, maybe if Luke forgave him, he could finally move on and put his problems and issues behind him. I don't really like him anymore seeing him in action with Rory, and NOT as an isolated victim, but I still think he's got potential to be a good person. I have seen some redeeming qualities in Aaron, I'm still waiting with Seth. Anyway I also agree that Luke probably still has feeling for Aaron. He doesn't seem like the kinda person who would just quit caring about someone, and perhaps the only reason he's still mad is that he DOES still care. Anyway I guess I want to see either Luke and Rory end up together, or Luke and Aaron. I keep going back and forth on which I'd prefer, for Rory's sake I want Rory with him, for Aaron's sake Aaron lol. If Aaron and Luke, then I hope Rory and Luke keep that "brotherly" thing going. If Luke and Rory, then I hope somehow Aaron and Luke can reconcile. I hate the idea of Seth and Rory, but think it's going to happen. The idea of Seth and Aaron isn't quite as bad, since I'm not as fond of Aaron anymore, maybe they "deserve" each other, but I still think Aaron deserves another chance, and can "turn his life around". LOL the worst would be for Aaron and Rory to stay together and for Luke and Seth to somehow get together, that would just be torture :wacko: Anyway sorry I rambled on so much, I haven't really posted my opinions on DD much lately. Take care everyone and have a great day! AFriendlyFace (Kevin)

I agree too Vic, I kept expecting Rory to invite Luke to bed. I DIDN'T expect anything to happen, nor do I think it should at this point while Rory is still with Aaron and Luke and Rory haven't talked about their feelings....but it did almost seem like the "polite" thing to do. On the other hand I'm guessing perhaps Rory didn't because after all he is seeing Aaron, and it probably really would be inappropriate for him to share his bed with another gay guy while in a different relationship, even if nothing did happen.

Aww sorry to hear you had some bad luck with that guy that was only into really tall guys. Sounds like perhaps you're better off anyway though, especially if he was misleading you about being in a relationship...I hope the strawberry blond guy works out better! Thanks Eric, I did have fun, at least made me feel like I was "on the market" lol. I actually find I have more energy without the caffiene, but the withdrawl was pretty rough. Headaches, nausea, and I felt like I had NO energy whatsoever. LOL a short walk and I thought I was going to die. BUT like I said I feel much better now. Anyway take care aww thanks Nick (and Taylor), that was really sweet to say, I hope you guys are right lol! At least I'm going to give it a shot Have a great day, and good luck on finally getting that snow!

I wasn't into Pearl Jam when they were current, but I actually JUST checked out "Jeremy" too. It is an excellent video. you can watch it for free over at launch.com BTW all you need is a yahoo id.

Hey Xander, First off way to put that other guy in class in his place, without being overly mean about it. Just my opinion but it sounds to me like the chorus boy just REALLY wants your friendship and approval. I mean I could be wrong (I often am), but it sounds to me like he makes the comments in an attempt to be cool and/or impress you. Also the likely reason he's always trying to drag you with him to the coke machines. As for the homophobe story, well had you already expressed your views about it? If you really only got as far as " This one guy I know is like a huge homophobe, and let me tell ...." or something before he inturrupted then maybe he misinterpreted where you were going with the story and thought YOU were a homophobe, and only wanted to agree or encourage you. Just my impression but I'd guess he just wants your friendship (not necessarily more), he may or may not be gay I would think. As for what you were saying about holding off on meeting anyone incase Justin is gay and becomes available.....Well I'm going to be honest, I wouldn't if I were you. It's always risky to fall for someone who may not ever be able to return those feelings, and even if he is gay, he isn't available and no telling when he will be, or how long it would take him to sort all that stuff out anyway. Sure it's worth the wait if it's possible, but basically I don't think you should "hold your breath" as they say. I mean the majority of guys AREN'T gay, and again either way, he's not available. I'd say go ahead and try to move on, if you fall for someone else who's also interested in you GREAT! Just see where life takes you, and I'm a firm believer in "if it's meant to be, it'll happen". If he is gay, evenutally you'll know it (assuming you two always stay in touch), and then you can deal with it, if you're single great. If you're already in a good relationship.....well you're already in a good relationship, and should probably stay put. I know I'm going on and on, and I may be wrong, just my opinion. Also one other option is, if you're ready and you're pretty sure HE could deal with it okay, you could come out to him. You'll be able to tell alot by his reaction, and if he does have any romantic feelings for you, that'll let him know it's at least possible. But don't do anything you aren't ready to do. Take care and good luck Kevin

LOL thanks Michael, In the movie Marks about medium height, slim, blonde hair, glasses, blueish green eyes I think. Yep I'm thinking I will try to go back there sometime this week, I can always return some of the stuff I wasn't too sure of, and maybe pick up a few more things. That's a good suggestion about the coffee, but I actually don't drink it. I like coffee and Tea, but about 8 or 9 months ago I quit drinking caffeine. I'd read this book about how bad it is for you.....Of couse since I did, my chocolate intake has sky rockted, probably in part because there's still a small amount of caffeine in chocolate, and also because I was no longer getting the sugar from soft drinks and stuff. Still dispite my desert quota like tripling I LOST weight, and I do attribute that to being off the caffeine (If only because I feel better and am more active). Anyway I'm not sure "hi, would you like to maybe get a glass of water when you're done here?" has the same effect Hehehe, but I could definitely go with "hey you wanna go get some cake or something"

Thanks Michael, I think that was Mark, He was very adorable, and I was kinda thinking he might possibly have been gay (thought it was just wishful thinking though), but I found Roger even sexier I think.

Hey Viv! LOL penises are nice, but they're not all THAT wonderful. Personally I'm more interested in personality, intelligence and other "internal" things. And even as far as the physical goes, I'm much more interested in what the guys got from the neck up (smile, face, eyes, hair etc.), and even things like chest/stomach/butt than what he's got between his legs. Oh sure I get curious but it's not the END ALL in my opinion lol. Also where can I find your story anyway? I'm kinda slow to find stuff on websites (I only JUST found out they have live chat here! Who'd have guessed? lol) Anyway sounds like it's really good, and that you put alot of time and work into it :-), I look forward to reading it! Have a great week! Kevin

Thanks for the tip Nick! I think it's a really good one. I'm definitely going to try that myself, it's kinda what I already try just being friendly and smiley and seeing if the guy seems interested. My only problem is I'm a LITTLE shy around people I don't know. Most people wouldn't even think so because I'm pretty good at seeming confident and friendly around new people, but I'm still a little inhibited about somethings, and while I do smile often and make pretty good eye contact, I have a little trouble doing both at the same time. It's kinda scary to me, like I'm making myself too vulnerable or something. BUT you're right it's a really good idea, and likely to work fairly well, and either way learning to make full eye contact while giving someone a big smile is something I should be able to do anyway (In fact I was already kinda working on it). OH yeah and: Dude, Now I know I'm like the uptight parental type, but that's gonna worry me lol. you guys be really REALLY careful if you do that ok, I mean wear like full body padding and four helmets each okay? Good luck on getting the snow though and having school cancelled, hope it works out! And maybe you'll even get to have a white Christmas, I've never experienced one, would be really cool! Either way BE CAREFUL, and have a really awesome week, lol and be sure to let us know neither of you have broken your necks if you do, do the bike thing. Take care, Kevin

Aww thanks Nick, LOL and what's the trick? Aww thanks Michael! That was nice of you to say . The soup guy sounds cute, maybe you'll be lucky and get a chance to talk to him next time at the gym. LOL and I think I agree with Sharon, maybe next time you get a come hither you should go thither . Anyway have a great day!

So let's see, here's what I've been up to. I went out of town to meet my mom for dinner as I said in the previous entry. But it was Sunday so I wanted to go to Church. So anyway I figured if I went in the city I was meeting her in, as opposed to my own city, we'd save sometime, since I'd already be there when it was over. Anyway so we met about 5:30 in a church parking lot, with me intending to go to 6:00pm mass. Anyway we wanted to go see "Rent", but the times were 7:00, and 9:50, which didn't work so well because church wouldn't be over till 7:00 so that was out, and 9:50 is kinda late to START a movie considering I still have like an hour drive home afterwards. Anyway so I was like well we'll figure something out, and I also said all I really wanted for dinner was a brownie sundae from the Hershey's store (I don't know if any of you guys have them in your areas, but it's an awesome ice cream/chocolate place), I wasn't really that hungry and if I've only got room for desert or a regular meal,,,,lol it's desert . Anyway so it's like pouring out, so she pulls me up to the front of the church (by now we're just in one vehicle), and drops me off, and she's like "okay, I'm going to go do some quick shopping while your in there." So anyway I go in, and sit down, getting a few funny looks in the progress. Well I'd hardly sat down when everyone else got up and started singing the FINAL song, and then everyone filed out. Turns out it started at 5:00, NOT 6:00. So anyway I leave, but of course my mom's already gone, so I try to call her, but it's too loud with everyone all huddled under the pavillion talking and stuff, so I've got my umbrella so I figure I'll just step off the sidewalk for a bit. And of course I manage to step in a really big puddle and soak my shoe and pant leg. Anyway it wasn't so bad though, I sometimes go out to "play" in the rain anyway so I don't really mind being wet. Actually it worked out well, I missed church, but I did TRY after all. And since we had the extra time we had time to go get the desert then make the 7:00 pm feature. Ok so rent was freakin awesome! LOL the only draw back was that I was way more attracted to the two straight guys in the movie (Roger and Mark), than Angel and Collins. MAN it woulda been hot if they'd like swapped the roles or whatever . Who was Roger anyway? that was one seriously beautiful guy! Actually I found Mimi and Joann kinda hot too, it was a very attractive cast. That said it was such a good movie in every other way too! I mean I really like musicals anyway, it's just appealing to me the whole idea of people just breaking into song and dancing as a way of explaining something. It'd be so cool if that would really happen! I really liked alot of the songs. I think the opening one "rent", then "Light my candle", "Tango Maureen", "La vie Boheme" and "Take me or Leave me" were my favorites, and of course the very sad, poignant "without you". It was really nice that pretty much everyone found someone (except Mark, but he seemed ok with that doing his documentary stuff). I mean how pathetic is it that in that scene (Oh wait I'm about to spoil the moive), well in THAT scene, the really sad scene, where someone was holding someone else while he was in the hospital sick, I was actually thinking "aww that's so sweet, I hope that happens for me someday".....I mean hopefully not for a very long time, and hopefully I'm like an old man dieing of some normal, natural cause, but it'd be really great if my "life partner" were there to hold me while I wasn't doing so well. Or vise-versa. Anyway I guess for the most part it was kinda a sad movie, but I actually found it really inspiring. It's like no matter what your problems are, no matter how long you've got left, it's still worth it, and important to look for love, and to pursue your dreams, and they really did all stand by each other in a sweet, awesome way. So yeah great movie! Anyway so today I did my Christmas shopping. It went pretty well I got MOST of it done. The only trouble is there's like 5 or 6 people I really enjoy shopping for and could buy them hundreds of things I know they'd like. Then there's like everyone else where I'm stuck desperately looking for ANYTHING I think they MAY like. I kinda copped out and bought them a bunch of gift cards to stores I THINK they'll like. But all in all I really like buying people gifts, I mean I like shopping so 1) it's a good excuse, and 2) it's just really nice to buy for other people as opposed to myself. Sometimes I buy people little random gifts for no reason if I think they'll like it, but while I always INTEND to do it more, I don't do it as much as I'd like. Anyway so the last place I went was Barns and Noble, I bought a bunch of books and was getting someone a membership card. So I'm standing in line, looking at one of those little tiny books they always put right by the check out lines so you'll buy them impulsively (and it worked I did BTW ). Anyway so the check out guys like "I can help you", and I look up, and he's like really cute. Plus he seems like he's gay, I could kinda tell by the clothes (especially his belt, which is hard to describe, but it definitely didn't seem like a regular straight guy's belt) and his overall behavior, I mean he wasn't rediculously obvious, and I guess I could be wrong but if I had to guess I'd say he was. Anyway so he was cute, and I did my best to make small talk and stuff while he was checking me out (I hope ). LOL anyway I did manage to give him quite a few friendly smiles. I was kicking myself for just wearing bulky winter clothes. My hair was even messy and wind blown, and I didn't shave this morning . Anyway I really wish I'd gone to a bigger effort before I left the house (I gotta get in the habit of doing that everytime before I go out). So anyway I just paid and left, I mean what else can you do really? Well on the way home I kept thinking of cute, somewhat subtle flirty things I coulda said. I mean for starters he saw me impulsively add the last thing, which was a silly little book I'm hoping my grandma likes. It woulda been lame but I coulda been like "so would you like this if you were my grandmother?". I mean yeah really cheesy and stupid, but it woulda indicated interest right? and it mighta gotten a conversation started. Then when he asked me about getting the membership, I should have definitely said "Sure, do you want my phone number?" Then given him one of my more playful smiles lol. But of course being human, I only thought of this stuff AFTER I'd left. Anyway I'm thinking I may just NOT give up so easy. I mean Barns and Noble is a fun place to hang out, I can always go back (having dressed up a little more), and maybe I can like "return" something. I'd be better prepared the next time lol. And besides I got other people a Christmas presents from there, why not pick myself up something too? OK so that'll probably never work, and I have to remember that while I'm doing better, I'm still somewhat shy. Besides for all I know he could be seeing someone, or even be straight! But at least it gives me something to think about, I'm tired of walking around living my life like some kinda G rated disney character. Not that I'd just "pick him up" or anything (LOL I am NOT putting out unless it's serious ), I'm really only interested in a relationship, but I really need to work on finding one! And you can't start something serious without starting something fun and light first right? Oh well anyway, thanks for reading yet another one of my long, rambling blogs. I think my New Year's resolution this year is going to be trying to learn to be more concise. Take care everyone, be safe, and have a truly awesome day! Kevin