AFriendlyFace

I would say that my perfect guy would be about my height or smaller. Very intelligent. Very kind. Great sense of humour. Independent but still affectionate. Spontaneous but practical. Honest but not "overly so". Cute. Very Caring. Optimistic and positive but also pragmatic. He would enjoy traveling. Artistic. Empathetic. Great sense of taste and style. He would adore me but not need me.

Since we've talked so much romance and dating recently, I thought it might be fun to get feedback on what everyone's 'perfect guy' (or girl) would be like. I was about to add my thoughts, but my dinner's ready and we all know how long my posts are, so I'm going to go eat it before it gets cold and come back and add my thoughts later. But yeah, in the meantime what would your perfect mate be like?

It was a great edition, guys I enjoyed it

Woo Hoo Congrats, Krista

I am so glad to find that out!

My family is tiny too. We could only round up about 12 AT MOST (and more like 4 or 5)

LOL, I think barbecue is a bit less exciting for vegetarians. You also have to go out in the 'burbs to see non-official, city sanctioned fireworks. It'll mean a day off of work though, so that's a big plus

Happy Canada Day

And true

Given Steve's survival it seems likely now that Helen will die. I mean I guess she might not, but with all the miraculous saves how much longer can their luck hold out? I was really think Steve was a goner for sure. His survival seems to bode ill for Helen IMO. I know they're ostensibly unrelated in terms of plot, but I'd probably feel compelled to kill at least one of them if I were the author. Nevertheless, I'm definitely still rooting for Helen. It was an awesome chapter, my favourite of the last several. It was very exciting and fairly "happy", lol. Great job, CJ! -Kevin

I'm going to go with my mother. I think she's done everything a mother should do and I'm proud of her and love her very much.

Happy Birthday

Welcome again, Jovian! I've really been enjoying your threads and posts -Kevin

I can't help my lust for information, but I'll try to refrain from indiscreet discourse

Grrrr! I undoubtedly copied and pasted the wrong tag the first time. For some odd reason it's not letting me fix it now and worse it seems to have messed up my quoting of Menzo and my initial quoting of Nick. I'll fix the attributions later if I can. My apologies for misattributing the information! -Kevin

Hi all, Just curious about what people most enjoy about the site. This is just for my information and curiosity, not on behalf of the site in any way. I wanted to allow multiple choices, but I didn't want to allow unlimited choices lest people just tick every box. I also thought that if "other" applied to all, or some combination of, the above choices it would negate the point of the poll since people could just pick it and say, "I said other because I enjoy everything." Hopefully many of you do, but I'm curious about what you most enjoy so I want people to commit to an answer My top three choices were easy for me: Top two which were tied: "The 'community' feel and aspect of the forums" - I like the fun and supportive atmosphere. I like feeling like I might be able to help people with an encouraging word or a bit of advice. I like getting people's support and friendship from the various threads and discussions. "The discussion/informational/intellectual aspect of the forums" - I love a good, deep discussion. I love to expound on how I feel about things and gain a better understanding of other people's views. Third choice: The Blogs - for pretty much the same combination of what I get and how I feel about the two aspects of the forum. Although there's more of an emphasis on 'community' and emotion related stuff. The blogs feel more personal to me so I really feel like I get to know people through their blogs, I often feel like I can give the most supportive, helpful advice on blogs, and I often feel like I can get the best advice and most support in my blog. I have often used it as a tool to expound on my thoughts about an issue in a purely intellectual way, but I tend to prefer the forums for that since in that case I have more of a desire for discussion about the issue. Occasionally I've gained knowledge and learning about something from someone's blog and been very appreciative, but usually I find the forums better for that as well. So those are my picks. I love the stories, but I have no doubt that if this were only a story site I'd have simply read a couple stories and then wandered off again. Thus my next choices would have been: The Regular Stories would have come next as a combination of reader and author. Then the anthologies for the same reason. Then the archive. Live Chat is certainly lowest on my list of motivations for being here. I'm really glad it's a part of the site and I think it definitely benefits the site and its members, but I seldom do it (only been in once since it came back) and don't have much desire to. Usually when I'm online I prefer to focus my attention on other things, just my preference. I didn't really have any thoughts about "other" (in all honesty if I had I'd have likely just included them in the poll directly ) So what about you folks? -Kevin

I pretty much agree with all of Kit's points. That's definitely true. I think it's ashame too because personally speaking I'd rather have one happy year with someone than two unhappy ones. I can definitely identify with this as well. I've never stayed with anyone nearly that long, but I have to say that every time I've broken up with someone I've felt relieved and really enjoyed being on my own again. I definitely prefer living on my own. I've often said that if I did 'get married' (or in a permanent relationship), I'd really like for us to each have our own room. I really like my own space and privacy. Every now and then I feel like sleeping with someone (in the literal sense), but that's very uncommon and atypical for me; most of the time I greatly prefer sleeping alone. Haha, in a weird sort of way perhaps the ideal 'marriage' would be one in which we maintained two separate homes. Could he just be my next door neighbour? Interesting, and I can see where you're coming from, but I don't agree. I think when something, anything, is important to you it is nice to let the world know. No, it isn't essential, and it definitely shouldn't matter, but it 'feels nice' - at least to me - to say "yes, this is what/who/where I like!" Theoretically 'being married' should be a really great experience for the people involved. I think it's only natural that they would want to share that with others. Also, for me personally I could never hide a significant relationship like that. I'm by no means 'clingy', but I am spontaneously affectionate and I certainly don't shy away from PDA, so presumably people would work out that this person was someone important to me anyway. At that point, if we were that serious, I can't imagine not letting them know just how important he is. I similarly would want to talk about him and refer to him and people are going to ask for some sort of clarification of what he means to me. If I felt more strongly about him than just 'boyfriend' I would certainly want to tell them. Next, while I think it's 'ashame' that I feel this way, one of the worst mistakes a boyfriend could make in terms of making me angry and offending me would be to refuse to acknowledge the nature of our relationship in anything but an explicitly homophobic setting (even an implicitly homophobic setting). I'm not the kind of person who's going to force it into the conversation or even feel compelled for either of us to volunteer the information of our own volition, but if it does come up where he has to clarify our relationship or refer to me in relationship specific ways he'd better not call me his 'roommate' or 'friend' (perhaps next door neighbour though ) Thus, I'm sure I would feel the same way in a very serious relationship if he only referred to me as his 'boyfriend' or 'the guy he's dating' when were very clearly, and explicitly to each other, more than that. I just know it would get under my skin and bother me over time. Lastly, Menzo, I'd like to ask a question. You said that you were open to the possibility of a permanent relationship. What if one did crop up, and you found it happy and satisfying, but the guy eventually (after a reasonable period of time) did want to make it 'official' in some way. Would you be willing to? It seems that way, but people have been saying this about marriage (and religion, and a few other institutions) for awhile and society has consistently indicated that it wants it to remain awhile longer, at least in some form. So I doubt the end is truly near for marriage. Definitely I think the other aspects of 'marriage' (or any permanent relationship) are important, but I certainly think the personal aspect is the most important. So why might I personally not want to get married? Well, Kit's reasons are certainly the most inline with my own feelings (of the ones expressed here). I'm simply very happy and satisfied as a single person. I'm very independent person and I have more than enough close friends and social activities to prevent me from feeling lonely (and indeed I'm not very vulnerable to that emotion anyway, even if I am alone alot). I also just don't feel like I need a partner. I do have social, sexual, and affectional needs for other people, but I'm usually very competent at getting those needs met without entering a very serious/permanent relationship. In the meantime I enjoy my life immensely as a single person doing whatever I want whenever I want. On the other hand it would be nice, in theory at least, to have that permanent person around whom I would share a great deal of trust, affection, and history with and who would also be there for those spontaneous desires for companionship, sex, romance, affection, or whatever else. The 'problem', if you want to call it that, would be that since I don't feel I need a partner (at least at this point in my life), I'm only going to be with one if I really want to, if the guy is almost 'perfect' for me. Since no one is really perfect, and since I don't really feel that need, I'm not sure I'll find someone who's close enough to perfect to make me decide to change my already happy, fulfilled life. That said though, I certainly enjoy more casual dating, and 'fun' relationships so I assume that it wouldn't be very difficult for me to 'fall in love' if the right gay came along and bedazzled me. Once I did commit for the long haul it would be for the long haul and I can only imagine initiating a break up with someone I considered 'permanent' in the case of consistent unhappiness, infidelity, or any type of abuse (emotional, physical, psychological). -Kevin

Happy Birthday, Dude! I hope it's just as awesome as you are -Kevin

This is wonderful news! I marched in my local pride parade last night; I'm really pleased that my brothers and sisters overseas were doing the same thing! I hope it does have a great and strong impact! -Kevin

Awww thanks, Old Bob! To be honest with you I think it's merely a patience and determination to clarify my position as much as possible. What truly amazes me is how so many people in general, and so many members around here specifically, are able to be so clear and concise while maintaining a brevity of length. That gift is certainly not mine; I can usually express myself pretty well, but rarely am I able to do it with a minimum of words. An attempt with the above text: "Thanks, I'm amazed at how effectively some members can communicate while maintaining concision; I can't do that" That is a good point, and while I could be mistaken, it seems like the 4th has taken on added significance since the war here began. Granted we aren't in danger of an imminent invasion at this time (at least in my opinion), but I think it has bolstered patriotism a bit nevertheless. Thanks! I suspect I will get to have such festivities! -Kevin

I tried my hand at 'Go' a few months ago! I didn't really like it though. I think I had a different set of expectations about the game and I didn't care for the rules. I also didn't have much natural talent at it In any case I hadn't recognized your avatar for what it is until you told us!

Hi all, I'm aware that quite a few members actively don't want to get married and since we have so many discussion threads in various places about marriage I thought it would be good to discuss the other side. Thus, I would like to ask those members among us who don't want to get married to briefly explain the reasoning behind their feelings. I'd also like to remind everyone to please be respectful of each other's opinions, don't take things personally, and don't make personal remarks/attacks at other members. Also, while I can't speak for them, it seems that most people who don't want to get married are still more or less in favour of - or at least okay with - other people getting married. Also, I don't mean it to sound like I'm asking them to justify their stance. As long as it works for them it really needs no additional justification. However, I think all major decisions in life (and this is certainly one of them) require justification in one's own head at least; although I get the distinct impression that everyone I have in mind has taken the time to think it out ( ) in any case I don't think people should just make assumptions about these things. Far too often people assume they should get married/enter a serious relationship simply because it's part of the status quo. Similarly, very often people who are gay get the attitude that that means they can't/won't/aren't likely to have a permanent relationship. It's this lack of critical questioning that I think should be examined. Finally, I personally think it's always fun and informative to discuss these types things. Even if I know I don't agree with someone,aren't likely to change my own mind, and not going to try to change theirs, I still enjoy discussing the issue (in a non-heated way) and getting a better handle on other perspectives. Also, remember this is a thread about not wanting to get married. Lastly, the term "married" as I'm using it is open to interpretation. All I really mean is entering a relationship which is presumed to be permanent. You can call it whatever you like, or have it be called something else by other people. However, for some people there may be a difference: they may want to enter a permanent relationship but not officially 'get married'. So I'd love to hear that perspective as well! I thought about starting this thread in the Soapbox because I'm worried that it'll take on a political or heated tone. I'm counting on you guys proving me wrong because I really wasn't interested in discussing politics, only personal feelings and opinions, and I certainly don't want things to get heated! I expect I'll weigh in with my own opinions at some point because I'm an extremely independent person and I can think of a lot of great reasons why one shouldn't get married. However, I can also think of a lot of great reasons why one should. So I guess my position is that I'm open to the idea of marriage, but not desperately wanting or needing it, and I'll be just fine if it doesn't happen. Indeed it would take someone pretty amazing AND a very special set of circumstances for me to marry them. So with that said: Why don't you want to get married?

It's not a holiday I really get into. Actually I don't really get into any holidays that much. I guess Christmas and New Year's a little but I think most of the things holidays are supposed to symbolize -- like say love-Valentine's day, Nature (or Jesus' resurrection if you're Christian)-Easter, Mother/Father's day - appreciation of parents, Thanksgiving - gratitude, or in the case of the 4th of July - freedom, -- are things that people should value and appreciate all year round if they're things they're going to value and appreciate at all. Christmas is so big and commercial that it's hard not to 'notice it', similarly while I also agree that New Year's is more of the same by essentially being about new beginnings and hope (as I interpret it), those do happen to be things that I don't mind having a tangible day for. I mean of course you can celebrate new beginnings anytime, but since it is a NEW beginning - i.e. something new will happen (or old things won't happen) after this point - it makes sense to have a concrete 'starting reference' for it, at least it does in my head. On that point, it's interesting to note that perhaps my favourite holiday in terms of me making a special effort to 'get into the spirit of it' (I do try to live the values of the other holidays that I believe in everyday) is Halloween! This makes sense to me because Halloween isn't about taking note of things you should be noticing and doing all year round anyway; it's about dressing up, performing 'rituals' that aren't daily activities, and generally trying to have a good time. It'll never be such that people will conclude they should always be going to costume parties and giving kids they don't know candy, so I love the idea of specifically doing it once a year. By the same token I like Saint Patrick's day because it's fun to live the green theme for a day. (but really I wish we had a 'blue' holiday as well) Independence and freedom should be valued and expressed year round as should family, gratitude, love, nature, hope, etc. So I don't mind that there are specific days that remind people do value these things - indeed I think that's great - but I don't get particularly involved in them or especially moved by them beyond just taking them as a little reminder...and often being slightly annoyed by the disruption of everyday life. (I really can't stand it when places are closed or close early, or when organizations and things alter their schedules). Now if you want to talk about partying I'm all on board Sure, I'm happy to use the 4th of July as an excuse to get together with friends and have a special meal and maybe a few drinks. But again, I think that ideally that's something which people shouldn't need an excuse or holiday to do anyway. Just my thoughts, but if you are getting into, happy early 4th to you! -Kevin

It seems that he does (I do). I did remember the rope pic, still prefer the water polo though. There's a very cute one in there now with you in the light blue shirt. I'll stop now lest people lynch me for my access to the gallery Tarin, I've always liked yours!

Thanks, guys Cool story, Carl