Curti

Thank you for giving me a little bit of perspective! I'm constantly reminding myself that I live in Fucking New York City. Like... you don't just walk out the door and have it all figured out without even trying. I'm surrounded by millions of starving people that are all trying to make it big... and... if I do something well, someone down the street can do it a million times better. I think part of that means I have to embrace and access my aggressive side a lot more. Which I am working on as well. And No... I am not leaving this job until I have a new one lined up. And I will not leave this one unless the new job is an internship in my chosen field AND I have enough funding to make it through the rest of my education without starving. In all reality, I may be at my current job a bit longer than I plan or would like to... So! It's time to start recognizing what I can learn from this experience and embrace the challenges.

Douchy Extros... hahahah. I love my extroverted friends because I idolize what they offer to the world. It's so amazing to see such an outgoing, want to be friends with everyone kind of personality. It's sort of like magic! I like hearing your experience! I have hope yet! I've noticed I have to really defend the more introverted people on my team. My bosses also don't seem to see the value they provide so I will ALWAYS stand up for them whenever I can.

I've had a lot of success in the past knowing I was "acting" and not even trying. So I do think that's actually a great idea to kind of work with. I also tried something different yesterday where I preemptively grabbed my boss and told her I had a few hot topics to discuss with her and asked if she had 20 minutes today (which we scheduled out) we can sit at the coffee bar and go over my points. It ended up being extremely productive and I used my talents of being detail organized and planned out, and I didn't feel like I was reacting or playing catch up or defending myself because I was the one that initiated it. I also like that you talked about experience. It seems so simple and I don't know why I have the hardest time getting this concept into my head... but maybe... just maybe... people that are good at interacting/socializing just have more experience doing it. And suddenly it doesn't feel like an impossible goal for me to achieve, but something I can work towards and track progress.

Ugh... no weather talk. I'd kill myself. However... I do think you're right and I've weirdly been introducing topics that are outside of the traditional small talk tandem the past few days. Success stories? Well one guy I learned is super into the theory Kardashev theory and we talked about that for like an hour! And it was a great conversation. Granted I let him do a lot of the talking too... but isn't that okay? Finding ways to get the other person to talk more so that I don't feel like I'm having to supply the entire conversation.

I'm studying Economics. I'm very interested in Development Economics and International Economics. In particular Trade Theory. I love understanding how each country plays a part in the global scale. I'm going to start taking a few computer science courses for application purposes and to be more marketable as well as better adapt to creating economic models. I have years to go before I'll be finished. I am working on getting scholarships and school funding because in an ideal world I could drop to just part time at work/find a much less stressful job. At the moment however... It's full time work and 16 credit hours in school until I can figure out a better option. I LOVE this article. I'm going to save it and reference it further in the future. I don't think it's negative... I guess I need to learn how to communicate my strengths better or in a way that minimizes my weaknesses.

Introverts Unite!!! Im always impressed with the ability to make statements and do things even if you don’t feel confident. It’s not anything you can learn other than grinding. You just have to do it. I just have to stand tall and make those statements and I recognize the value in that. Like... would it be weird to memorize open ended questions I can fall back on just in case? Like not silly ones like What are up to today? (I can’t ask another person what they thought of our wet Sumner. I just can’t.) But more divulgent. I always fear that I’m diving in too deep. Like... not everyone wants to tell me their Theory or experience with Block Chain or even care? Or How their Pot Stocks are doing. So What have been some universally good Open ended questions? 🤔 Sometimes... my ideal situation is to tell the boss to shut up because she’s running the employees like cattle. Moral is down, Performance is soft, customers are disenchanted. This is all coorelated! And if you want to improve anything stop talking about day to day numbers (the employee doesn’t care and they don’t benefit from your stores performance, they benefit from their own) sooo start talking about how your employees can feel empowered enough to do their job without the stress of details or unnecessary policies. I’m not quite sure that’s the best way to go about faking it... but I do think you have a point.

A lot of my job is in sales... and it’s a very high intensity, everyone can see you at any moment. I mean we have visitors the likes of Anna Wintour or Alessandro Michele. It’s a lot of very powerful people in an industry that I’m dissanchanted with. I think the loss of passion derives partly from the job, but has been coming on for a couple years so it doesn’t get full credit. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of scripting in my head prior to interaction. I do this when I need to make a speech and I’ve been told I’m a very captivating speaker with a vat of knowledge. In a spur of the moment speech, however, I flounder. I admire excellent conversationalists. I guess i dont get is how? How does he ask the question? When? And what question? And why that one? And what intonation does he ask it? And how does he listen to the response? And how does he follow up with interesting things to say? How is the dialogue continued from the question? Or am I just over thinking it? And how do I get my brain to stop analysing every shift of a foot, every influx of a sentence? Every moment of silence so I can just say something! Conversation is a very taken for granted skill set.

This has been on my mind a lot and I'm not really sure who to talk to, my friends all disagree and I can understand why, I'll explain that more in a minute. Historically, in the past, I came to GA for a lot of my questions and confusions and received a lot of help from all of you! Maybe, it's time to return once again for another problem. I'm introverted. I'm not shy, I'm not socially anxious (not really), I'm not quiet, I'm not boring, I'm not disinterested. I'm introverted. I have a feeling many other GA'ers are as well. Writing and Reading seems to attracted more introverted personalities than extroverted. The issue I'm facing is while I don't mind being introverted, and I don't really have any desire to be this bounding force of social energy.... It's... ... having an extremely detrimental effect on my job. You see... my direct Manager as well as my Boss's Manager are both these vivacious, obscenely arrogant, outgoing personalities that come in strong and attack swiftly. I do not use that description lightly for it seems that I'm walking through a minefield and they are prepared to rocket launch me to a trillion bits of flesh and blood. My Boss's Manager is particularly bad. She views me as incompetent, which she has told me, "If I was to rate all of my assistant manager's you would be towards the bottom. That isn't me trying to be mean, that's just my perception. It's very unfortunate." Which is what I was informed the last time I scheduled a one-on-one chat about my opportunities and what I can do to improve. I've learned that this isn't the job for me. I'm not sure if there is a job out there that doesn't cause me un-measurable stress, exhaustion and depression, but I'm willing to at least try to find it. I like to think that I'm very good at having a one-on-one conversation with people. I'm incredibly introspective. I see details and glean facts from stories and situations that my friends never saw themselves. I'm incredibly good at seeing all sides of a story and understanding how someone else feels in a similar situation. It's this fact that I have a friend that regularly schedules coffee dates with me so we can "catch up" and I can give him advice on his boyfriend. I have another friend that we have a weekly workout sesh which he uses to divulge all his relationship woes and I give him advice. What's crazy is I LOVE doing this. I think this is why my friends don't think I'm an introvert... because if I know you, I'm EXTREMELY engaging and comfortable with divulging vast amounts of information and opinions. I'm VERY opinionated, on the caveat, that I'm comfortable around you. I'm able to do something similar with my team. I am really good at relating to them and understanding how they see things and I use that skill to motivate them, to find creative solutions to issues and to give them advice. I also have great analytical skills, excellent comprehension both situational as well as in written content, and I'm damn good at numbers. What I'm not good at... is approaching a stranger and getting them to open up. And, I'm not good at working in a high-stress, bomb-field of a job where any second I could turn around and my boss's boss is ready to ask me a question with the purpose of entrapping me (which, as my mentor, who worked with her before said, "She's been known to do that"). I've learned that what I'm good at the company does not give a shit, which is unfortunate because there's a lot of issues that would be easy to fix, but they don't care because the people running the show are these outgoing, high-energy, act before you think kind of people. So how do I survive? How do I translate my skills? How do I stop my heart from beating in my throat the entire time I'm at work? And... because I fully intend to leave this job in the next 3-6 months. Where can a college student, living in a very expensive city, with my unique skill-sets find an entry-level job that will allow me to focus on my studies? And finally... I know this has been an extremely long post... How am I suppose to survive in a world that only values these loud confrontations and doesn't give a shit about the silent-digestion of visual, audio, situational data?

I live in and work in Manhattan! And I've lived in Brooklyn and Queens. Maybe I can help? I know this is a bit late... I spend most of my GA time on the Lite Chat and in the stories.

Love you! Thank You! Guess I'm not around much on GA anymore

Lanni!!! I'll never forget you and I definitely know who you are on facebook!! I've missed you too!

I used to manage a local coffee shop. I had various regulars from the guy that bought a drip coffee every 3 hours and wrote his sermons (sometimes accompanied by three or four other guys as they debated religion)... to the lady that bought a $7 coffee beverage (milkshake) and hung outside and had a few smokes. I had a guy that owned an internationally known ski supply company, a lady that adopted all three of her amazing boys, A crazy successful consultant that we'd see 2-3 times a day, his wife first thing in the morning, his daughter when she finished school in the afternoon and their entire family on Sunday mornings on their way to church. Actually 85% of my business came from my regulars that I saw each and every single day. Some stayed for awhile, some grabbed a quick drink and dashed out to work. My whole team knew their names, their drinks, their interests, etc. In the three years I managed the store I watched kids graduate school, I saw people fall in love and get married (both regulars), I watched a guy restore a very sick 1956 mustang. If it wasn't for those regulars that felt comfortable enough to stay for a few hours a day the shop would not have stayed in business. Not all of them stayed for longer then a few minutes, but the whole store had a very strong community surrounding it and it's because of the regularity of our customers. Coffee shops thrive on this community, be respectful, buy a drink, don't take up an entire table if there's enough space for someone else, don't forget to tip your barista and become a regular and learn all your barista's names.

In that process... I don't think anything in the lite chats should count towards reputation points... Mostly because it allows for massive increases by just chatting... Basically if posts don't count reputation shouldn't either...

Or get one of these guys.

Thank You! I'm so glad I'm not the only one to feel this way! I'm looking at reading Wuthering Heights next because I'm so curious how I see the love interaction at 26 vs 16.

I just moved to Brooklyn. It's been a dream to move here for almost 10 years. Now that I'm here and although I ADORE it. I kind of like the idea of eventually (probably when I'm 40 or if I ever lock down a wealthy man) buying a coastal house in a quant village somewhere in the New England area or possible Europe. The idea is something with a harbor, a cute village with shops, restaurants, bars near said harbor, easily accessible hills for light nature walks/hikes, ability to walk throughout the entire village, medium to low tourists and a house on a hill overlooking the harbor, village and ocean... Yeah not picky or anything and I don't even know if that's a thing, but if it is tell me so I can buy a vacation home in like 15-20 years...

They've already been mentioned but I recently watched Being 17 and The Way He Looks and both were INCREDIBLE and focused a lot more on romantic tension build up over just a relationship. It was a nice change to some American Films. Latter Days is always a fav being ex-mormon. The first gay film I ever watched was Beautiful Thing when I was 15. I watched it on youtube and used to watch it in little 10-15 minute bursts when I first got home from school before my mum would get home. Our one computer was in the kitchen and she would have killed me if she saw me watching a gay film. Honestly, though, it was a life changing movie and the first time I realized that being gay meant I could actually be in love and have a relationship, rather than just being about sex. Kind of a life changing film that allowed me to accept my sexuality when I had been depressed and hating myself for years.

I just finished "The Great Gatsby" and I took it a lot more personal than I did in High School. For example, something as minor as their age was really eye opening. In High School I remember thinking they were sooo old and sophisticated and downright "silly." Now, being close to their ages, they are uncomfortably relatable... First off, I look at them as peers and I understand the partying, alcoholism, love obsession, spending time with someone you aren't interested in out of habit or simplicity. And, living in New York now... I weirdly am seeing the ridiculousness of old money in the city... Now I'm curious what other books I read in Junior and Senior High School that I can read and understand completely different now...

Hey, thanks guys! To be honest, it's been a really hard day for me so I definitely needed to read this!

Congratulations!!! I'm happy for you! I know you've worked bloody hard for this!

I'm not one for Resolutions... I believe if you wish to change something then today is as good of a day as January 1st. That being said, this year, in addition to not posting pretentious stuff like lecturing everyone on goals (already epically failing), as some may know I've been working on a business Venture and this is the year I want to turn a sucking cash pit of a "hobby" into product that actually sells... And... as always, read more and more and more...

You guys are all so sweet!! Thank You!! It was actually a really good birthday!

Dude... I feel like football is everything here...

Oh I'm definitely not going to limit myself. I enjoyed the company of a lady in her mid fourties for a couple years in college. We would do coffee, dinner and fashion/art shows on the regular! Just I personally am a young adult so what can I do to meet people... MeetUp looks interesting, I'll look into it more, I don't want to do anything that feels too much like a date or hook up sight, so that one is intriguing. Cazpedroso, I've thought about a club, but I am having a hard time finding any. Workout classes or some sort of class seems fun, and I've always wanted to volunteer. I have to find what's right for me...

As any good kid from the suburbs of Utah I played football and baseball and used to enjoy shooting hoops in my driveway. Various reasons stopped me from playing, though I still love throwing a football around. Now I'm a sucker for personal endurance like hiking, rock climbing, swimming, yoga (is it a sport?), running and biking. The only thing I do remotely competitive is running in a few long distance races. Exercise is the best.