Nahrung

I'm having a bit of trouble with this story... Not because of the content necessarily, but because I don't get how the same guy who wrote 'A to Z' and your 'Occasional Poetry' could even think, imagine or write about something so radically different than your beautiful story 'A to Z'. Maybe the abuse scenes in 'A to Z' were actually your forte' but I got caught up in the 'GOOD' things that happened in the story... Andy's recovery and redemption. I honestly don't know what to say... I'll keep reading this story only because of my hope that this story will somehow evolve into the 'redemption' that you so eloquently described in 'A to Z'. Neal

GOOD FOR CJ!!!!!!! Enough said!

I think that people are getting what I call, 'Charity Weary'. We, in the USA, are almost by definition, caring and giving people. We WANT to help those in need, those who are victims, those down on their luck and in need of help. WE WANT TO HELP! But, we are weary... I think that most sensible and rational Americans are weary and tired of being faced with a new crisis every day. And that's without even talking and thinking about what's going on in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, or the Middle East in general. I would love to come up with a way that could make a difference, but I can't. I was an adolescent counselor for 20 years... My last years were spent as the Senior Counselor at an Adolescent Extended Care Half-Way house. Kids who come out of Primary Treatment (30 Days) have a 17% chance of remaining sober, happy and healthy a year later. We were proud that our statistics indicated that kids had a 70% of being sober, happy and healthy a year after leaving our program. The reality at the end of the day was we lost more than we saved. So, yeah, I'm weary and tired... But, HEY, Donald Trump will save us from everything wrong with the USA! I'm weary and tired...

Wonderful! I am so looking forward to 'CJ Summer 2?' What I truly love about your writing is that it has guts. It isn't just about one gratuitous sex scene after another... It's a REAL story about real people, real situations and events. I appreciate that it isn't just about one gratuitous sex scene after another (like on Nifty). After a while, that gets a little old. BUT, after all, this is a gay authors site and graphic descriptions are expected and you might want to just step it up a bit in that regard. I loved hearing a little about when CJ lost his virginity with Owen. You presented in a very nice and respectful manner. You are a good author, Carlos. You have what it takes to engage your readers in a GOOD story. That isn't quite so common in this genre'. Thanks for writing... I'm looking forward to the next book and I truly hope that you will continue the story... There is so much going on! This could go on for years without loosing anyone and probably gaining many new readers. Thanks again, Neal

Ummm... I guess I should have just hung in there before asking if Kendall was ever going to get Michael. I don't why, but I thought that Michael was already fucking Kendall. I didn't realize that they hadn't gone there yet at all yet. OOPS! Anyway... nice chapter...

Love the story! But, ummm... does Kendal ever get to top Michael? They seem so equal and stable in every respect except in bed. But it's just a question on my mind... Neal

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT WRITING THAT CJ GOT DRUGGED AND RAPED!!!!! I am also disappointed in Jose-Maria... What an idiot to go along with his older cousin drug and rape his FRIEND! I don't know if it's cultural thing or what, but every culture has a sense of right and wrong. However, the Latino culture also has a 'deference' to older members of the family and cave in to whatever they want to do. JM would certainly not be the first Latino to end up in prison for blindly going along with an older relative. Anyway, JM has clearly lost the trust of CJ and his family. I wonder what will happen at Walls when he and CJ return.

I was so relieved to find out that Brett survived the crash. Thanks!

I just started reading this story also. Of course Kendall didn't expect what happened. And, because of his previous experience of Carson, he doesn't trust what's happening. But, Kendall was gone for almost three years. Carson's experience of his old partner, who had a gay son and who both offed themselves over it, and now a new openly gay partner with a partner, who called him a 'homophobic prick' changed Carson. He NOW knows... and he's changed. I see a question that keeps popping up: Do people really change? YES THEY DO! I was a Counselor for 20 years. No, most people don't change. But when it becomes important enough, THEY DO! Now, in the Counseling world, the reality is that we lose more than we save. It's a fact. BUT, those that DO change, change in dramatic, life-changing ways... as apparently Carson DID. Can that change be trusted? YES! He wouldn't have relived his experience with his dad or revealed any of that to Kendall if he hadn't.

Hi Parker... Thanks for the wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Even though I was sad to see it end, I also think it ended just as it should. Thanks for responding to my rather lengthy and involved Reviews. You were always very gracious and patient. HEHE, I started to get the impression that you spent as much time, or more, responding to reviews than you did writing the story. I'm also very much looking forward to reading 'Reed's Journey' or perhaps 'Andy vs. The Andersons'. Anyway, you have a WINNING plot line going here! I don't know if authors get tired of the plots and characters they create or not. I sincerely hope that YOU don't get tired of this one and will continue...

People keep talking like this was the last chapter but I couldn't find anything that confirms this.

WOW! When you titled this chapter 'Taken Away', I thought that someone, somehow got to Andy and interrupted his beautiful day with Zander and took Andy away... DFS, the Police, the protesters... When they ended up in the truck with Toby I thought, okay, this is cool. Wherever Toby was taking them, I relaxed and thought this was again cool... Then, when they ran into trucker 'Green Hat' at the truck stop, I got tense again thinking that fucker was going to grab Andy AGAIN! Nothing... back on the road they went... Then the hunting lodge... with an outhouse... in the dark on a rainy night, I thought 'SHIT!... This doesn't look good'. Then, both back safe inside, I thought about the locks on the doors... Did they lock them?... Who all knew they were here?... What was the real reason that these two boys were brought to this desolate location with no escape and nobody to hear any call for help? At this point in the chapter, my heart is racing... Something had to go terribly wrong because that has been Andy's life... It's what always happens to him... Of course it will happen again... THEN... the lovemaking... wonderful, beautiful, tender. I relaxed again and remembered why I have loved this story from the beginning... Well, not exactly from the beginning, but as soon as Andy escaped his father and started living his new life. Thanks for writing...

Andrew... I worked as a counselor to 'high risk' youth for 20 years... mostly boys. I worked mostly with some of the perpetrators (I know, BOOOO on me). There is not a lot of sympathy for the perps... they get what they deserve, right? I have had before me several wonderful, handsome, otherwise GOOD boys who were simply raised to believe and act as they did. They were raised by bigoted, hateful people, got in with the wrong crowd, were taught to believe destructive things and, as they grew, thought and acted based on what the resulting grooming created them to be. Should THEY be punished for this anti-social attitude and, more importantly, behavior? Perhaps. Ultimately, they did wrong. Kids are not born hateful, bigoted, prejudiced and violent. They LEARN all that. Kids are born amazed by the world around them, exploring, learning, listening to and being taught the right way to think and act. Was Jordon BAD when he was born? NO! Someone taught him to think and act like he did and to feel justified in what he thought and did. Personally, I think that every parent should be charged as an accessory to whatever crime they commit. THEY taught this kid to think and act the way they did. Shouldn't THEY be held accountable for instilling this hateful, bigoted thought process in their child? Unless the parents can show, by their own lives, beliefs and teachings that they are innocent of grooming their child to think and act the way they did, they should be held accountable. Courts deal with facts. Isn't it a relevant fact that Jordan's dad, and maybe his mom, instilled in Jordon this hateful, prejudiced and violent attitude? You're an attorney... I'm just curious where you stand. Neal

Parker... Damn!... Every time I get another chapter, I HAVE TO re-read previous chapters. This time took the longest. I re-read from Chapter 57 when Ambrose and Allen showed up. Parker, please don't even think about ending this anytime soon. There are still so many unanswered questions that you simply MUST answer; What DID happen to Andy's dad? What happened to the property his dad owned? Did his dad ever leave a note for Stephan? Did he or his mom have life insurance? Who was the beneficiary? What happens to the house? Is there ANY redeeming quality that he can gain from his old, miserable, despicable life? What happens to good old uncle Ray? What will happen between Andy and his uncle Allen, his wife and kids? Honestly, since Andy now has liberated himself from his miserable past, he has a new lease on life. I'm suspecting that the reasons for his marriage to Zander have now been mostly nullified. Andy has SOOO much to work on and deal with now. I rally think that SOMEONE should talk Andy and Zander out of this marriage plan. YES, they love each other and want to be together forever. BUT, they are kids. Andy has a lot of work to do, history to deal with and issues to be resolved BEFORE he can be emotionally honest with himself and present himself to Zander and the rest of the world. You have a plan, Parker... You know that the BIG reasons for getting married are gone. What they are left with is a few months on being in love and that's not enough to base a marriage on. I hope that the constant question, 'Are you sure' becomes less annoying and more real for Andy and Zander. I imagine a scene where Andy says, 'Ya know, Zander, I love you with all my heart and I can't even imagine being with anyone else. I want that to happen so much, but I have to get right with myself, my history, my life before I can give myself to you honestly, freely, knowing everything about myself before I can honestly do that. Neal

HEHE... I didn't see that coming, for sure. Honestly, when Andy was reading the legal books about the foundling, foster care and adoption laws, that the solution that Andy discovered was minor emancipation, not marriage. At almost 17 years old and under the circumstances, being emancipated wouldn't be hard for Andy to do and it would solve all of the CFS issues. Andy would be free to live where and with whom ever he wanted without interference.

I know that it's been a long time since this story was posted, but I am just learning the wonders of the GA world. I loved the story. I only wish that there was more story AFTER the Evil Queen died. Thanks, Neal

I simply LOVE courtroom drama! Yeah, I'm sure we all knew what would happen but it's fun to read anyway. Yes! There ARE people with a lot of power over families and kids like Ms. Chandler. Fortunately, most of what they do is good. Unfortunately, they too often miss the kids who really need help OR they abuse their power to make situations worse or promote their own bias, hatred and fear. I think that Andy has to learn to trust in and confide in the responsible adults in his life. Granted, he hasn't had much luck with adults, but he's also had some really GOOD experiences the last few months. Again, Andy's getting fearful of things going bad for him and still contemplates running away too often. Then again, running was a matter of survival in the past AND IT WORKED for him. I'm curious about Andy's comment about the swimming coach when he said he 'knew where this was going'. I want to believe it's something good like grooming him for the swim team and not 'grooming' him for something bad.

Yeah... This was not a 'sex scene', it was a 'love scene'. This is how healing happens, by replacing bad memories of something that happened with good memories of the same thing. Andy will have to do the same thing in response to being raped by his uncle. Again, this is how people heal from a bad experience of something good. It's all cognitive. It is about displacing the bad with the good. It is the THINKING and MEANING we give to something and replacing it with new thinking and meaning. We each assign VALUE to our experiences. We have to examine the FEELINGS of the experience, rethink our feelings about what happened and assign new and different values. i am happy with how Andy's counselor is working with him. I have worked with abused adolescents. I learned that the last thing I wanted to was to ask them how they were 'feeling' about it. That goes nowhere. It becomes a mindless rehashing of the experience over and over. Until you can INTERRUPT that cycle of reliving the events, there is no healing.

I love how the counselor is asking pretty much the same types of questions I would have asked the kids I worked with when I was a counselor. She is very cognitive in her approach, focusing on what Andy wants to talk about, asking him about his thinking and avoiding the quagmire of getting into his feelings (which is the typical approach to counseling found today). It's interesting that you know about this approach.

About labels... Humans like to label EVERYTHING! Like it or not, that's just how humans think. It's how we make sense of the world; how we distinguish one type of from another otherwise very similar thing. Imagine how chaotic our world would be if we didn't have a way of distinguishing an acid from a base, a dog from a cat or a criminal from a law-biding citizen, etc. The problem isn't with labels. The problem comes in when we attach VALUE to a label. The value we've attached to being gay or straight has changed dramatically throughout history. What used to be a crime is now protected by law. It used to be legal for a man to beat his wife, children, slaves and animals because they were legally protected as being his property. Enough said.

I think I can help with this discussion. Sexuality is simply about sexual attraction. If you're mostly attracted to the same gender, you're homosexual (gay). If you're mostly attracted to the opposite gender, you're heterosexual (straight). if you have a relatively equal attraction to both genders, you're bisexual. All of the other personality characteristics, likes and dislikes, are irrelevant to ones sexuality as they all can be found in people of either gender or sexuality. Hence, gay football players and straight artists. They seem to lean towards one sexuality or the other but they are certainly not exclusive to sexuality.

I'm still curious about 'Uncle Ray'. From what I remember from the story, he never actually did anything to Andy (Stefan). Yes, there was a little touching and holding but nothing that rises to the level of molesting. Is this the anchor that separates reality from fantasy for Andy?

I'm so glad that they found Dr. O'Shea for Andy. She's exactly what I was hoping for for Andy. She's letting Andy set his own pace and talk as much or as little about whatever he wants to talk about. That was the best way to start with Andy. It's also so cute that Andy thought that the chores list was just for him to get all done in one day. What a sweet, fragile and beautiful boy.

Xlerok... thanks for clarifying the incident with the explosion and smoke. Honestly, I didn't remember reading that. I guess my mind prioritized which details to pay attention to and that was not one of them. I am, however, still curious why James Ackerman did that... It just seems to be a puzzling loose end. I was an adolescent counselor for 20 years. There are a variety of ways to deal with PTSD and this post would go too long to even begin the options list. Anyway, I don't think that Andy needs a Psychiatrist. A good counselor, perhaps. But remember, Andy has a lot of issues to deal with. His mom abandoned him. His dad abused him and neglected/deprived him of much of what be considered normal upbringing as WE define normal. It's important to remember that Andy was not raised with a lot of expectations or an idea of what he 'should' have had. It's important not to create and try to treat issues for Andy that aren't there. I could go on and on. Mental health isn't always as clear as some of your readers suggest. Let Andy BE Andy... Let him decide what he needs help with. Let's not impose OUR ideas on what his life should have been like or what he needs help with. That would be wrong for Andy.

Great chapter... AGAIN! I have this nagging question that keeps popping up... Who set off the flash/smoke bomb in Andy's last school that allowed him to slip out of the window? It's like someone, even back then, was looking out for him. I hope that they handle Andy's story carefully at school and don't just blurt it all out, leaving Andy with an endless stream of questions that would be really rough on Andy.