Cannd

Hmmm I can't wait for the blood lol. Who is this Tiger? My hope is that Yuri will decide he's not going to let anyone hurt Benny and kick some ass! Can't wait till next week!!

First, I'm sorry to hear about your husband's illness. Life isn't fair to all. Will Lonesome Theta be posted here? I'm enjoying Bear Down now. I enjoyed Your Alpha, my mate. The only small adjustment I would love for you to make is that your characters tend to speak a bit too formally sometimes. It doesn't feel natural. I would recommend reading it out loud and seeing if it feels like you'd say it that way. I'd like to see your conversations a bit more loose and relaxed, unless it is someone who deserves respect or they don't know, so more formal language is necessary. I put this in my comments in the story and hope it helps. I enjoyed the characters and as a paranormal story fan, I think it was a great job, esp given it being your first real attempt at writing. Looking forward to more from you!

kick ass chapter Rob!! It was a great rescue. had just enough action, the 'tenderness' between jed and buzz amidst the action--what a way to get acquainted now that Buzz accepts him. I enjoyed those hunters getting theirs. I wonder if they are part of an organized group and was that 'the boss?' I love Miler too. He definitely has some skills! Not to mention the kick ass wolves he brought. You'd think the hunters would not fuck with his pack, but then they weren't too intelligent, clearly. I hope we see more of him. I'd be really excited to see his story someday. The way he sized up Jed, I think he's still single I felt so badly for those kids, but then to see the other baby--'baby Cujo' lmao--something tells me that Parker and Colton will be raising an orphan who needs a home a little earlier than planned. The pack is growing huh! We saw how fast he is and fierce for a baby and why they called him Wylie! Would be a son Colton could train to be strong and dominant! Parker is such a cutie too, with how he took over and got the little guy to come to him. Where is he from, I wonder? I wonder to what degree he might be able to tell them anything? They better re-name him, poor little guy. I'm looking forward to Jed and Buzz getting back home and having some time together, though I think things may heat up again (after they heat up between the guys) with Buzz's brother or news of these hunters. The only thing I would have liked would have been some info on hunters in general. Who are they? Are they organized typically? How much of a problem are they for the wolves? I would assume there was not some sudden wide-spread problem with them or they would have brought it up at conclave. It'll be interesting to see what's on that computer. I can't wait for more. Maybe a mid-week treat? lol some of us are so demanding

wow...very interesting, different and a way to educate people a little bit about autism. I don't know where this kid is on the spectrum that I know exists for autism (I know very little but picked up a bit from my sister who taught autistic kids)....but it gives a view into something most people may know nothing about. Sadly, the number of cases of autism are on the rise, so it is something people should be aware of. A brave thing to attack such a complex and emotional topic. I would be interested (though it is probably none of my business whether you researched for this story that you decided to write or do you have personal experience with the issue. Certainly, I don't have a right to that info but I was wondering where you will be coming from as you attack this story. Has my attention I'll keep on reading...

I think it is great that you have a range of fun characters you develop nicely too. It makes it more interesting to have an entertaining cast of characters. I kinda hope you'll do Tavin's story next! he seems very interesting with his seemingly shy personality that really is about his watching and listening and learning and being very deliberate in what he does share. I can't wait for gavin and tate to talk and for them to share how they feel. Even moreso, how will Gavin react to tate's other side since he had that dream and was so afraid in it? can't wait for more.

RIP GhostRyder. I don't believe I have read one of his stories, and I will have to check them out. I hope his family and friends find some peace in their good memories. And I think it is nice that his writing will touch people who may come to this site years after he has already passed. That is the amazing thing about any form of literature. I am sure he has touched the lives of many people he never even knew read his work. Just as all of the people brave enough to share their work on this site do. Thanks, also, GhostRyder, for fighting for our nation. I hope you are in a beautiful and peaceful place smiling at all the kind words being said and thought about you. RIP

The bloody mary thing was funny. Though I'd have thought Zai would be the one to take care of the getting her bloody I also laughed when Jem said he found the paper for his bar plans in Vru's snacks. Cute. I liked that you finally had Kia do some big magic. I was hoping he would get in touch with that part of him that made him so powerful, even in Kiorl and Nas' eyes when he first discovered his magic. Clearly, he didn't know how powerful he was when he met Jem. I don't know if Jem telling him about Nas' memories might have helped him remember? I have to be honest when something isn't perfect for me and hopefully that is ok, b/c, afterall, I spend a lot of time telling you how amazing you all are! I would have expected a bit more of a reaction from Kia when he heard those memories. He may have played it off initially, but it should have been a bit of a shock to him or maybe help things fall into place. He really seemed to have blocked all that early stuff out in his mind. He was the one that said that Kiorl and Nas were better at magic than him when he and Jem went into the bedroom together and he turned on or off the lights with magic. He believed he was a demon and that he was getting souls using his only skill. So, I expected more of a reaction when Nas' memories were told to him. I would have liked to see them both show the possessiveness that was just below the surface. I also would have liked to see Kia's reaction to Jahke's come on..lol I kinda felt like we spend more time seeing Jem's reactions to things he found out about Kia from others, than we saw them discuss, share, discover, etc. I guess in some ways I wasn't left feeling totally full at the end of this one. I noticed you had Nas pull 2 feathers for them lol..sorry, that is just the beta reader in me getting picky .... He pulled the one feather while he asked Jem what he wanted with Kia. And then he pulled another at the ceremony. I wish there were another chapter coming, since I would like to know how the bar goes. Maybe Nas can meet someone there on a Sunday! I look forward to more, of course! I've come to love hell and, dare I say, wanna visit, but only if I can leave again lol.

Wow Nephy, I agree with the description of powerful and it's also so emotional. The story overall is great so far! I can't imagine the control it took for his dad to hold back. To hold onto his training and carefully pull at the band aid slowly, carefully and not tear it right off. To sit across from the child you lost and to feel lit in your gut and not be able to grab onto him and hold him tight and promise him he'd be okay would be excruciating. Especially hearing what that bastard had done to them...to confirm what they were used for, must have been heart-breaking. It would be to hear it about any child, but to have it be your own, it would take so much control not to dive at them and hold them tight and not let them go. I hope Alex can tell them where the other children are so they can try to get them, but I agree with the kid, he took off and left Sascha there, able to talk b/c it was a better risk than waiting for them to come for the kids. He probably is off with those kids and gone. Though, I guess we'll see if he is when the next chapter comes. The thing I admire is that you towed a fine line between being realistic in terms of the gory details of his life and the other things he implied about the lives of all the kids, the pain in this child's psyche and the other emotions that would be flowing off the child. I would be a tiny bit interested in whether his dad had come to the station specifically for this boy? It seemed like the kid had just come in, so was he going after another lead and Sascha happened to be there? I don't think he came there for him, there were no details collected yet about the kid and he'd driven for hours. No one could have called him. He, himself, wasn't sure until he found things the cops hadn't, like the picture and seen his eyes. The only detail I am slightly unsure about realism of, is the cops letting him call the shots up front, esp with it being clear this guy had some sort of pull. Then they allowed him to sit down with Sascha and question him without someone else from that jurisdiction present. Maybe they are watching, since it is an interrogation room. Can't wait for more!!!

Ahhh! awesome start. Is it Alex? Could it be that kind of coincidence? Or is this another child in need? A child who may know Alex who is also in the clutches of this monster who calls himself dad? This was a short chapter, but it had so much into it. I'm just glad I could read it. It was tough seeing your other story, 'Boy called Slave" and not be able to read it! I'm excited that all of us can enjoy this one. I have to ask, What does DCI mean? If the 'I' and 'C' were reversed I'd think detective in charge, but I couldn't come up with an answer. Small detail, was just wondering. This character is really complex. I think it will be a character who raises a lot of emotion. I went through emotions like anger when he spoke up the way his other children have suffered more b/c of the way he has dealt with the loss of their sibling. I don't think anyone who hasn't lost a child can totally understand, but I also think that he and his wife needed to be sure the other children's needs were met and they were secure and loved. It's wrong to make them feel like ghosts next to the memory of their brother. What was even more maddening that he clearly knew what he had done/was still doing and didn't try to balance his search and the needs of his family. Because even if they are grown, they are still suffering the effects of Alex's disappearance, both in the loss of a brother and the way the parents responded. And even now, as they moved on in life, I am sure they would have given anything to have a dad involved in their lives again. When he looked up from that photo, I was afraid the guy might have disappeared with the kid. I hope the two cops can get him to talk. And thanks for another great start to what I am sure will be a great ride!

Only wish it were longer too. I wish you could have had someone speak about what the hunters actually do and who they typically are. Are they just out to kill lycans or are they hooked up with scientists? Why take a pregnant woman? Just a bit more info about what they were told at Conclave. It would let us know more about what and who they are about to face. I am glad that Buzz has come around to admitting he's Jed's mate. I think Jed has really done a great job b/c I am sure showing the type of self-constraint and patience he did, must have been hell for him, esp being told that he could be mated to some woman at any time. I think it is great that he wants to help the pack. But, I am not convinced we've heard the last from his brother and I'm not convinced that the other alpha won't be sniffing around again. I hope the fight coming up is exciting too! I wanna see some great ass-kicking by all these alphas!!! Can't wait for more! Everyone who celebrates, have a happy easter!

It was great to see the boys finally reach that point. Deo is awesome. He helped Kurt overcome this life struggle that was hurting him in so many ways. I'd have liked to know how Kurt felt in terms of his mind. Were the wolf and human now one. They were both a part of him? It was funny when his wolf and human sides were arguing. Though I know it caused the character a lot of pain. The two of them are such a sweet and dynamic couple. I hope they go on to do great things for their little pack. The only thing I was surprised at was the ease with which Kurt accepted that his territory would not be his when he moved. I'd have liked to know how he was able to accept it. I thought of all the changes he saw coming that would be the hardest, if nothing else, b/c of the nature of the wolf. But, if the wolf senses its pack and knows he is now secure and loved and together with his mate, maybe that makes it easier to accept. I was surprised that Kurt didn't mention the loss of Mary and the birth of Yulva. His nose is certainly strong enough for that to have happened. I know that was one more thing that may have not fit in to discuss at that point, but it stands to reason that he could have noticed and been too wrapped up in his mate to do any more than notice. I love this story and have enjoyed reading it again after having read it on Lit so long ago. I look forward to the point in the story where it goes beyond that point. great chapter, sasha.

I can't wait for the outcome of the procedure. I agree with Belann that it is nice to see how trusting Yuri is with Benny. That was sweet to see from the beginning that he accepted Benny back in his life and believed in his love and safety just b/c he was his mate. He didn't care that he didn't remember him. That probably come from his childlike nature that is so black and white for him at times. For him, a mate is love, loyalty, protection, support, etc. I can't wait to see if he remembers things. I don't want it to be this instant perfect fix, as I don't think there is a magic venom mixture that will make him like he was before. The one thing that concerns me with Benny is that he has compared this Yuri with the old Yuri a number of times already. I feel like he's having trouble accepting Yuri as he is today. I hope they can spend some time with each other and get to know one another again. We missed the first time around, so it would be nice to hear some stories about how they met if Benny tells him or if Yuri remembers some of it and Benny fills in the blanks. I'd love to see them go out and have fun together. I know there will probably be a fight on the horizon, but I hope there is a little time first for those two to bond. Benny is holding back. Maybe it is kinda a post-traumatic stress...he lost his mate and maybe he's guarding himself to protect himself. He has to be afraid to love Yuri the way he did and be afraid he won't survive losing him again. It's nice to see Dav and Ellis happy and I love how Dav is part of something now and that he is so good to Benny. It's nice to see Benny have support. Now, how is it that he comes to taste the wall outside Benny's place and find pee? lmao Well, can't wait for more of these two!

You tortured us; there for a while. I was afraid when he got to the big house it was the house he was to share with Shauna. I was sooo happy when my initial belief he'd go to Jed came true. But, you gave us a bit of a scare by showing how conflicted he is. I think he is going to need protection and I can't believe what happened with Shell! Hunters are humans or scientists or something? God, how would it happen? How would anyone know about Colton's pack? How terrified everyone is going to be, esp Parker and Curtis! I hope they find her quickily...she is due any day now right? Thanks for the extra chapter! I can't wait for more.

This chapter was good b/c it finally got to the bottom of his mom's behavior. At the same time, I think the boys should have wanted to know more about their dad's true mate. I think it would have been natural to ask questions like where they met, how long were they together, had they actually completed the mating or just been getting to know one another, what happened when she died, how did he cope and did he feel badly mating with someone who might find their true mate later? I liked the fact that they marked each other and the tat outlines of the howling wolf and paw print were a cool idea. I assume they will be colored once it's completed. I'm looking forward to some real possessive stuff over Tim and them completing the mating. I don't think they will make it very much longer. The only thing I would recommend again (I had made the same comment in your alpha my mate) is that you make the way your characters talk more natural. I just feels too formal...it's not the flow of normal conversation. I would recommend reading it out loud like you are talking to the other person and see if it feels natural. I really hope you can do that b/c I think it would make your stories flow more naturally and more smoothly. Look forward to more.

Wow! Excellent chapter...my favorite so far!! I only was disappointed we didn't find out what Takashi is. This has the potential to all just go crazy from here on out! The only problem is, I want him to now become polyamorous bc I like all the guys for him! lol and that's not usually my thing! I think you've created an interesting situation between the men and him. What is the effect Takashi has on him? Who is Takashi and what is he that he was in the seelie court as a younger man? and how old is he? Why does he calm Mick? I'm very happy that he helped poor Riley out. I have to say that I didn't see the fae thing for Mick coming! Even though I knew that there had to be some reason why Riley was very attached, (literally and figuratively to Mick, I didn't see him being a fae--could have just been slow on the uptake though. It makes it really interesting though, now with this added tangle! I would love to see Mick be able to work on his own tangles in his mind with the calming effect of Takashi there to help him...what would he uncover about where he is from or would he then be able to let his glamour go? You opened up a can of worms! What is he? How did his mom escape the hunt and avoid capture for 2 yrs until they left him at the hospital? Was his parent killed? Is that why no one knew about him? Will something/someone tip off the seelie court that he is out there alive? afterall, I would think that at any time, if a fae comes into his office (and he's on that paranormal dr. referral site) and was able to identify him as easily as Riley and even Takashi did, then couldn't his days be numbered? And I also am missing Guy in the story. I so hope we don't have to wait quite as long for the next chapter, as this was really exciting and I wanna know what happens next! You've raised the bar for yourself big time. Great job!!!

What a turn, Sasha! That was awesome. Sick what Nas and Kiorl did to him, but awesome! Nas is such a bad prince of hell though...look at his conscience!! lol This has bothered him for a long time. The way you did that was very well done, the trip through his visions. I'm surprised Kia isn't much more dependent on Kiorl and Nas. They really did a job on him and it was probably very hard for him when they first decided he should be living out of the castle. I'd have liked one or two other things added in...Like, why didn't the king of hell want him? Was it because of the fact he wouldn't want to be controlled by someone? Or did Nas and Kiorl hide him away? B/c I bet he'd have liked what Kia could do. One thing I'd like answered is why Kia thinks he isn't as good as the other two at magic when he was actually better? Why didn't Jem ask why he wasn't told he's not a demon? I hope Jem will tell him. He deserves to know what/who he is. He should have those memories too. It's not fair for his mate to only have them. I also wish you'd had Nas talk to him a bit more about who he is and why he loves him, etc. We've gotten very little idea of what, aside from sex, they can be to each other. Sex is great, but esp with what we were shown today, Kia isn't ruled by that in his true nature, as buried as that may be. I wish we could have have had more chances to see them together and getting to know each other and through that learn of what Kia can do that would be fulfilling to him too, since he needs a new job. Maybe he could do entertainment with his ability to do magic that maybe others down there don't have the ability to do. I am really longing to see them build their relationship, and now more than ever,I want to know more about Kia and who he is. Maybe if he finds out what Jem knows, he can blossom and become what he would of without Nas and Kiorl's manipulations. I don't think what they did was wrong persay, it just changed who he would have or have been. Looking forward to where you will go with the story now. to each other beyond this strong draw to one another and the sex between them.

I love Yuri...He's a very refreshing character. I hope he gets better, but still retains some of that tendency to enjoy things like a child does, his tendency to live in the moment, as well as his bluntness. I do hope we get to see how they met and when they mated through memories.

Nice story...but I feel like it's just the start to one. I'd love to see these two developed further...see them get to know one another better. I enjoyed it either way. Just think it wasn't quite finished

This was a great chapter. I can't remember..I think we did get this on lit bc I remember Yulva's birth. What is her name meaning or where did it come from? I hate that her mom died. She was so sweet with Kurt and I don't understand why Dr. Noakes wasn't called. I had forgotten Deo's story. It was really sad and emmotional, but it was really well done. Tam sounds like a cool guy. You should do his story!! I really think that would be a good one! Interesting guy who would do all he did for the boys he took in. I love Deo...he's a cool guy. I guess we know who Kurt will have to be there for...the next chapter is touching with that. I want so badly to see him and Tay move forward steadily. They deserve it. I am wondering where you came up with the idea for a splinter pack. that was a great idea. What will it mean for the others though? Are they still part of the main pack that they can go to runs and stuff?? I don't think Kurt would give up his cliff and it would be mean to evict him from his real home in the forest. Hell, almost everyone thinks of him when they smell the scents of the forest. speaking of scents, how did deo smell a change? He just went through the whole lost his sense of smell thing. Can't wait for more.

We all waited so long for this, so I am so excited. I have been biting at the bit to read it, but I waited a bit until some extra chapters were out. I get crazy when I'm dying for a new chapter, so I concentrated on So Little Magic and some others I love and waited till now. Glad I did, so I can keep reading!! The start was nice. I feel so badly for Jed. One thing that surprises me is that Colton, and esp. Parker, wouldn't recognize his pain. They might see it and not know what to do for him. The only slight detail I would have pointed out if I beta read it is when you wrote that Jed said yes when Colton asked him to be enforcer. He didn't ask him really. Jed and Trey just naturally stepped forward and made it clear that they were going with Colt and Parker when they were told to start a new pack b/c of Colt being an Alpha. Just a little detail for when you publish... I can't wait to keep reading. Thanks Rob!

lol....I love how sensitive Toby is about the kitchen. lmao. Well, I am happy to see them finally talking about things and trying to get to know one another better (outside of the bed...or at least outside of each other for a few mins here and there ha!) I hope to see that continue. I'm thinking Jem will be going to visit Nass soon. That should be super entertaining. I wonder what was bothering Jem. I don't think Kia got to the bottom of it. Keep writing! This one is shaping up great. I had to laugh (either in this one or the one before) when Kia said he better keep Jem from Sathriel's presence b/c he'd probably take the king of hell on! Too true!

great chapter. I am so glad he got back to the pack and it seems that Brian may end up being the true person he should trust and fall for. If I had beta read this I would have just pointed out 2 things. One is, you had him call Brian 'the Alpha' and I don't remember if he was told that John was dead, so if he isn't, he'd still be alpha right? So, if you said he was dead then you were right to call him Alpha If not, say next in line or something? The other thing is that he said he had heard the wolves close to him right before he was grabbed by Alex. My question would be how Brian was able to walk away (or run) without havng to fight his way out...which so outumbered, would have probably have been a death sentence. So, where were the other wolves? I can't wait to see more. Did Brian come after Adrian himself or was there another reason he was near this clearing? Did Jas have to be a smile about something I wonder if he has wanted Alex all this time? Will they find another wolf or person who the feel is their mate? Do your wolves have mates or can they just fall in love with anyone? Like as in one person destined to be with?

I really like this beginning. I like the way you created this standoff with emotions riding over it in waves, changing from person to person and thought to thought. I think these characters will be very interesting and look forward to the story you write for them. I'd be happy to beta read for you. I also highlight the stuff that needs to be proofread if I notice it, but I mainly like to beta read and help you shape up the story by noting if I see a problem with continuity or have a question or any other number of comments I might make about stuff. I help a number of people on this site and on Lit, so if that would be a help let me know.

I liked this one b/c it gave alot of what I wrote that I wanted in the comment on ch. 6. It had the added fun of Jem kicking some big asses!!!! LOL. I loved it! I love how strong he is. Good for him! I loved how he went to wait for Kia to get home. I was hoping he actually would. Afterall, he didn't come back too soon after the last time he left! I was afraid he'd stay up top to take away the temptation. He may have planned to and then decided to return when he couldn't fuck someone else. That leads me to one of my next questions about mates for the demons. Forgive me if this was touched on in the other stories, but I haven't re-read them in a while. Is a demon only given one mate? Can they choose anyone? Or is it something that happens naturally but then can't be taken back? I really would have liked to have heard Kiorl's talk. It would have been interesting. I loved hearing how naughty those demons are going up there and killing people to be...I assumed tortured....down there. I know Kia's issues are somewhat about Nass and Kiorl, so I was surprised they didn't try to deal with any of that with Kiorl there, by having Kia let out how he feels. I hope they all get to deal with what is between them soon. I am beginning to feel that Nass is overreacting. Ok, so Kia being back reminded him of a terrible thing Kia did and how he fell for it, but he's been raging for weeks now, hasn't he? Time to be a big boy. It s very possible that he is more angry not just for him being back but for the fact that he has found what Nass lost. I feel badly for Jem b/c Nass could take it out on him by making him stay human. They said Sathriel went up top...did they mean up to our plane or somewhere in the castle? I am happy we get these chapters so close together, so thanks Sasha. I look forward to these two getting more on board with one another. I want to here them work through the stuff Kia is dealing with. Who built their new room? I hope things go a bit smoother for them. You know Kia said he couldn't do what he was always good at, but he can...he just has to do it with Jem! Can't wait for more! I agree the demons are goin a little soft with all these cute humans and such who are coming down there.

I hope we can get some more info about Kia from the others maybe. We really know so little about both of them. I'd like to know more about Jem too. What makes him tick? Why did he have no one he would miss in his old life? Is there anyone wondering about him? Is there any reason why Jem saw the demons, aside from having been with Kia? Is there anything about him different from normal humans? I feel like we need more than this push and pull with them. I think that it would be great if Jem sought out Nassau for info. The others are probably not saying much given the knowlege that Kia's in the house listening. So it would make sense for Jem to go look for info somewhere else. Maybe ask Kiorl to take him out of the house since he's kinda been stuck there. Show him around...Kia could get jealous or some other demon could try to claim Jem or he could talk to someone and learn more about the little snake demon. What makes him tick? Why is he convinced he can't have this close friendship with Nassau and Kiorl again if Jem is in the picture? Is it that the sexual part will be over, because that appears to be over either way. I hope he gets deeper into himself about why he's afraid to give in b/c it doesn't seem to be about the others really. It's not about the others in the house and I don't think it's this old relationship between he and Nass and Kiorl. Maybe Kia needs to talk to Nassau. They need to resolve things and he may also be able to help him realize what he has and what he is risking losing/taking for granted. And a nice fight or maybe just a good Nassau tantrum would be very entertaining. A fight might not go well b/c of Kia's size, but can he hold his own against Nass in his current mood. I'd like to see first hand!