Cannd

Holy hell! I can't believe the twist. I never saw that coming! Alex was full of it the whole time! Had me fooled. Poor, poor Adrian. The horrible part is how vulnerable the pack is. His brother and father won't ever suspect it's him. They'll probably think it was Adrian who betrayed them and left with the rogues. Everybody is screwed. I can't believe his father and brother have never suspected anything? How could he be running the rogues all this time and no one notice something off? What will happen to Adrian? I'm also shocked bc I'd expect some sort of romance somewhere, yet there was no connection with him and any other wolf but for Alex. The poor kid. how will he ever trust again?

Great chapter. very hot scene in the end. Go sean...wanted to smack Nic. Idiot. Anyway...hope they don't get caught like they are..that might be too much for the others to handle LOL.

My comment is a bunch of random thoughts moreso than usual. Anyway, this chapter kinda made me sad. I hope the boys will let Gregg know they can contact them. Paddy might not have siblings, but he could be a big brother to a kid who will need it. What does he do with any of his questions about his being a shifter if not? I hope they do that. I wonder if Michael is his mate? He seems very close to him and defended him early on despite not stopping the others later on. I was wondering about Paddy saying the bears in his family had all fallen for humans when I know he mentioned his mom's family all being black bears. She is one too and isn't human, right? The saddest part of the chapter for me is where the guys stand on the whole 'going public' thing. I wonder if Troy is more afraid to now with the teachers acting like they did with paddy all bc he's gay. I thought Troy's reasoning about them not being sent off to work together would not be a problem. They've been there long enough for Nic to see they didn't not work bc they were too busy with each other. I think this will get to be a bigger problem for them each week that goes on. It's really taking its toll on paddy.

WOW! What a story. You kept the excitement up through the last words...though I'm excited there is an epilogue. The death of Carlos was so damn tragic and I am still working on forgiving you but it was pretty poetic that he took Reanard's sister with him. I loved his last words too-they were perfect b/c I liked Morgan and it was a bit tragic when he died too, if not as surprising. I so hoped that Carlos would make it, esp when he was saved by the bubble from the mega arbiter. But, if a bright spot could be found, that bitch, The Tigresse, had to die! There has been this great sweep of action from beginning to end. I was surprised with two things...one was why he didn't try to use the node underground to attempt to cure Lucere's beings? Weren't readings given to him for what would be okay as a strength and what would be deadly to all? could he have tried what Hartley had in mind but at the right strength? It kinda felt so anti-climactic for them to go through all they did to merely save the three of them. I also am wondering why they haven't thought that Earth could be one of those world's that these arbiter's had purged of his kin? I was glad you were able to have him cure Konstantine. My thought right prior to that was why Konstantine wouldn't have stayed behind knowing that him having the virus would be enough to stop any world from accepting them. This disease is too great to risk a carrier being allowed to land. I would have loved to see Carlos make it too (the only thing I gave a in the series! But I can accept the role you decided to have him play, if not like it. Was the story with his brother a more last minute decision to add so he could play that role or at least support his decision to play that role in the end? I'm still a bit unsure why Earth would allow anyone from Lucere to come back when they probably know the severity of this disease by now, it's seemingly invincibility and such. I will be interested to see where they land and if they can do any other good for other worlds? Again, I guess I kinda hoped he'd use the node to not turn the sharplings back to people, but maybe kill them and let the humans be cured. I guess I am still wondering why he'd have this amazing story and this journey with such providence (as K would point out) only to save himself, Mira and Konstantine? I guess i'll only find out by reading on! I hope you try to get this published. It was an amazing story and I thank you for letting us read it here. It was brilliant!!

I'm surprised Troy is showing such little control over his lynx instincts where the kid is concerned. he seems to really not be able to overrun his love for rabbit meat lol. I like this chance to see them with a kid and it will be great to see them help him kick those little bullies' asses. Short chapter though Congrats on your PA rating.

I was touched on a number of levels by this chapter, both by the events in the scope of the story and the issues in real life that it touched on. Some things were mentioned above already. I couldn't help but reflect on the real life issue of euthanasia as you mentioned in a response to a review. I feel we give out pets the right to die with dignity and save suffering in cases where there is no chance for recovery or improvement. I think it would only be fair to allow people to have that choice too. Lily was able to choose how she'd go out of her life. She was left some control over her ending. It was heartbreaking to see her character end. In addition to the extreme kindness and source of love she was for the group, she had a brilliant mind and it was hard knowing how much knowledge that might have helped them save this world, would die with her. How hard for Konstantine to have to let go of her. It made me reflect on what it would be like to know everyone you love would meet this end and have it be completely up to whatever God or force rules our lives. We experience it when someone we love comes down with some terminal illness. The feeling of being unable to do a thing no matter how badly you want to fight whatever they're facing. It is a reminder, just like when it happens with someone we know, to enjoy each day and to value those around you. I think Dimi loved Lily as more than a friend/sister. As his creator, was he in love with her? I think that it was a source of comfort for her to know that her Dimi wasn't left alone. He has Shay now, who he cares about and even Carlos and Mira too. I think she must have found some solace in not leaving him to fight in this world alone. I think it helped her in the time she had with them seeing the love between Mira and Shay. Just like it affected Morgan to see it. It was something that was hard to find in this world they were in and it made her happy to see that. She was a soul who was happy for other people and their joys. It was a hard chapter, but I think it also drove the point home, about what they are fighting for. This is the risk and possible fate for anyone who dares to love or care for others on Lucere. We know what the disease does, but it touching a character we came to love drove home the need for an ending to this horrible fate everyone on the planet shares. It would have been wonderful to have her hold on and see if being in that powerful place let Shay 'cure' her. But, as much as we all want happy endings and last minute saves, it can't always be. I hope Konstantine can keep strong with this loss. It would knock the wind out of anyone and to have such a huge fight ahead while your soul is suffering the loss of your loved one can't be easy. Sad but well-done chapter. One thing I am curious about is what their plan is for the control node. I am not sure I understand what they plan to do once they are there. Are they hoping for it to affect Shay's abilities or are they just stopping Hartley from using it? What will they do when they get there. This is a force that can't be moved or disabled right? Hope what I wrote makes sense since it's 6 a.m and I've not slept lol. guess I'll go try to do that now

this story is definitely one of those gems you find once in a while. it is exceptional! I almost feel badly that you are having us read it for free bc it really does deserve to be published. your grasp of different subjects like science and writing and some literature, etc. are very enviable too. i'm enjoying the story so much and only wish I had read it when it came out so I could discuss it with others, though not having to wait for new chapters is definitely awesome! So much came out in the last few chapters. A small detail is the surprise that Charles and Chris were together, yet he didn't tell his brother John that? Were they facing homophobia on this world too? The whole scene with the arbiter was very strange. Part of me thought Mira had been the one to scream when Shay had been surrounded by those sharpelings right after he made Mira. I am wondering if this arbiter is a human with the sharpe virus or not? It seems like it is clearly different than the rest as well as being some super alpha able to call the rest. It is super cool that Mira can still talk to these things. Though he doesn't seem to be able to talk to the average sharpling. It seems he is able to see and talk to this one. Will we ever learn more about who Mira was before he became a sharpling? Do the sharplings procreate or are they only increased in numbers when more humans turn? I'd assume they have to procreate or eventually there may not be more humans to change. That said, is Mira a human turned sharpling or not? It would be interesting to know. I was a lot surprised at the idea that they would send Shay into the house alone. That was crazy risky! He is too important to risk that way. Mira would have been a better choice with his ability to be so stealthy and strong as a fighter, since the goal was for someone to open a door for the rest. I wonder how Hartley will get away this time? He seems to have too many lives. He's too cocky though and hopefully will learn not to underestimate Shay and the others. I do wonder though, why haven't they addressed the faultiness of the perimeter fence at the compound? I can't believe they are willing to leave Lily alone knowing how more assassins are being sent as the previous ones fail. You'd think they'd be keeping watch after a group of assassins were sent. It's clear that they weren't just there to kill Shay anymore. I really like this Morgan! He'll be a great addition to the group. I hope he and Carlos have a chance to hook up maybe lol I feel so badly for Carlos. I don't know why shay wanted him to admit he has feelings for him that time. it was kinda mean! i'm supposed to be sleeping now, but I love this too much to stop reading lol

Great chapter....though it raises many questions for each reveal it made!! Chiefly, what else can Shay do with this power? Can he manipulate what is in the others to give them immunity or heal them? Can he cure other Sharpelings and make them human? Though Mira is clearly his other half or his 'soul-mate,' was he the only Sharpeling that could have been 'cured' and is their relationship special b/c of the way they feel about one another or was it forged by Shay using the power on him? Sadly, it seems Shay is powerless unless he is on one of these spots where the aemfid occurs. One thing they haven't concentrated on is the weakness in their security! How did the assassin get past their defenses? Clearly it is Harley who knows how to and who told him and Leon how to get by undetected. So, they are effectively completely vulnerable now. I am confused as to why Hartley would suddenly want 'priceless' Shay killed. He must know how special he is, so why not want to keep him alive and possibly learn his secrets? Or does he already think he knows the way to become like Shay with the use of the machine that put him in stasis? Aren't those machines the key to allowing Shay's DNA to be manipulated by the virus? Did the creator of the 'cure' know any of this? Was the Volkov center built on that spot for a reason? I am still a bit lost with the whole part about the virus sensing good in him and therefore making changes in him, but maybe I just need to read it a few more times it is a lot to absorb. Looking forward to reading on. Should be sleeping now though. Lots to do other than finish the story! lol

I would have liked to get a better glance into the relationship Sam has with his family. He talks of his dad not caring about him and putting his family/work ahead of him. Is this true or just his perception? Aside from the father not calling him (which is shitty and supports the fact that he doesn't consider him any priority), he was welcomed warmly by the parents and Thomas (who clearly looks up to his brother). The thing I would have liked to know is whether he has grown up watching his father use power over people (whether it be money or knowledge, etc) to get what he wants? Is that why he stupidly turned to threatening Daniel with having his mom's job terminated? He has seemed to have an understanding of how people tick, yet he didn't use that to know why Daniel is rejecting the idea of them having a relationship. He may have had a chance of something real with him and he knows it, yet he decides the route he took will work too. I don't know what he expects them to have now. A relationship built on blackmail doesn't sound to cozy and he won't be having pet names and cuddling if he uses that on Daniel. Look forward to more...

It made me angry that Sam was guilty of rape in this chapter and calls it love. Daniel was drunk out of his mind and said 'no' how many times? He continued to have sex with him. Then he sees blood and doesn't hesitate to continue? That is horrifying! I can't imagine how Daniel is going to react in the morning. To have your virginity taken that way is horrible! You say we're going to come to like him less as the story goes on. It's a shame b/c I thought he could be a cool character up till now. I can see him being screwed up and hating his dad when his dad has a secretary (I assume that is who called) making calls to check he's okay, etc. I hope we get more of Mark and Michael. They are sweet together!

hey sasha, thanks for updating daily. It is great to continue a story every day. I'm enjoying this one. I just hope the boys have a serious conversation. Troy clearly has baggage that is affecting his ability to treat Paddy the way he should. I'm surprised that he could strike out at Paddy and not have it be impossible to hurt his mate. And the sudden 'why are we mates, we have nothing in common' talk was strange. I hope we get to see them talk and see Troy start to trust Paddy and let him in. maybe he's afraid that if he loves him he'll lose him b/c of his dad's death (wow that was a horrible story!) I also think Paddy needs to find out why Troy doesn't want people to know about them to a degree that would make him hurt Paddy b/c someone found out. What an extreme reaction. Look forward to more.

Sucks when you miss the boat and are reading a story way after it was written...you know your comments will most likely be missed. Anyhow, I will anyway. This story is amazing. I'm enjoying it a lot and reading it instead of sleeping and doing other stuff I should lol. I caught the new story being written so obviously went back to this one to start. I hope to catch up and be commenting on the new stuff with everybody else. It's cool to be able to 'discuss' the story. Anyway, I might also write to ya since I'm willing to beta read at some point if you need help. One thing I wondered was why Shay never asked what the virus did to people. He supposedly knew nothing about it, as far as Konstantin knew, yet no mention was made of Sharplings. It stands to reason it would be curious to the astute K as to how Shay knew those scary beasts were the result of the virus. It was also surprising he'd not asked the date right away to see how long he'd been out. Afterall, that is the easiest way to figure it out instead of guessing constantly, but it did play out well to have the shock hit him and to let K figure out something more was going on. You asked about sex and what role it should play and I guess how much should be included. I think you've done a great job as you've shown the boys sharing small intimacies so far. I think sex will be an important detail as they discover their sexuality. They're teen boys afterall, and adding that to the bond they have, it will be a natural progression eventually. I love the cast of characters you've created. You do a great job of developing them and making the reader become invested in them. What happened to K when the soldier thing happened. I'm surprised Shay hasn't thought about that. Did he just take off knowing if he were killed the boys had no hope of being freed? But, it seems unlike him not to try to save them. I also am surprised he was willing to leave Lily (that's her name right?) behind at the homestead with Carlos, given the fact that they can't truly be sure about him, they still have the prisoner (and laundry can't be done with him taking up residence in the laundry room! lol). But seriously, they know someone is out there who knows about them and knows how to get past the defenses set up. And there is also Leon's group still out there. He was also a bit careless in the way they went through the hospital. they were lucky not to be killed. Seemed they did things flying a bit too much from the seat of their pants and that they were lucky not to be killed many times over! But, it moved the story forward and made for some fun action I guess. I'm really wondering if Shay still feels energy building now? He seemed to feel something when he gets angry, esp. about Mira's well-being. Could it be possible for him to free another person from the virus like he did Mira? I was wondering if he'd do that given the sharpling seemed different in the jail. Of course, I'm sure they didn't bring it with them sadly. It would be great to add to their numbers eventually if they get back to the homestead. I just hope they esape these guys at some point. The times that the scream happened like when Shay was surrounded in the forest. Was that Mira? Can he still communicate with those things if he wants to? do these things reproduce or is it necessary for kids to be turned by the virus for there to be little sharplings? Well, I can't wait to learn more. Could Lucere have been an experiment carried out by people on Earth that went bad? Upside to catching a story that is finished is that you can keep going and not have to wait for updates!

I am sure the story will be great. One thing I think you should do is grab a beta reader and/or editor. The thing you seem to need some help with is continuity. Things like, he's in the bathroom and he's walking out that door talking and by the end of his sentence he's getting in her car. Little sentences to make the reader not feel like they are missing something are important. Something like 'we walked down the stairs and out the front door.' Then have him tell her he's driving. Also, is it that both of them are in a new place? The main character just moved there over the summer I gathered. Was the new kid the one that said he moved there a month ago too or did I misunderstand? Just try to read it over and make sure things don't jump from place to place or become unclear. Looking forward to getting to know both characters.

You caught those emotions I think most people go through more than once in their life as they look for a person they can live and love with. I loved the contrast and imagery you brought in the parts where you spoke of edges being smoothed out from the bump and grind of the relationship to the end where you describe the explosion and feeling of being hit with shrapnel. I think it was really poignant when you have the conversation along with his interpretation or what he hears. People are not honest and upfront about feelings very often and there are so many times when there should be subtitles under what they actually say. Great short story.

Great job Sasha! The fire was a lot of fun. You conveyed the fun the kids were having along with the separate game connecting the guys. The sexual tension was certainly built up with the fire. l am wanting to know what/who Noah is. Why does he know so much about the shifters? I am a little surprised that Troy is so afraid of reciprocating anything it seems...I can understand the sex thing, given it hadn't entered his mind as a possibility before Paddy, but I'd think that the heat, love and trust between them would make him reciprocate something! Well, it'll only make it better later I guess Great job with the details of the camp around the couple--makes us feel like we're there. I have a feeling that other kid is gonna cause trouble. I guess we'll see.

I like Chris a lot. the story is cute so far. I'd still like less internal thoughts for Nikita. I find It a bit distracting and it chops the story up for me. It takes you out of the actual scene. Some is fine, but I think half the story right now is happening in his head. I also appreciate your updating so soon, but would kinda like longer chapters. The story itself is going nicely.

Interesting idea for a story. I think the 'wife' comment was a bit risky on his part and that saying he would do the duties (choking on this sexist statement) that he'd expect of his wife would have been less shocking...but it is an interesting idea to think if you'd do it in his place. Look forward to more

can't believe sayer ran off so half-assed! I still am wondering if his parents are in that room? I have to say I would have expected Birch to be more upset. I mean, he just got him back and to see him turn into a darkling and have to be stabbed and thrown in a cage? How horrible! He should have been livid with him for running in like that and not talking it through or planning. I did expect him to be able to re-focus and do what had to be done, but I can't believe he's so cool about it. Birch is smart and he has picked up more than you'd expect him to with so little info about his new home, but to have solving this problem be the only way he can have Sayer back would be a scary thing! I'd expect him to sway a bit under the pressure. Maybe there wasn't enough room to show his feelings. I am surprised he didn't try to free him like he did the other fae, but I guess he knew it was more important to see if the alchemist could follow the magic. I love how Birch was like 'you didn't use those fae? duh!!' with croll. lol He is going to drag the fae forward I think! I'd love to see you expand this story...include what happened to Sayer's parents, etc. Thanks Cia!

A mean cliffhanger. We want to know how Chris reacted. I'm shocked he did it. Shame to risk the possible friendship he finally would have. I'd love to see the chapters a bit longer. The one thing I would note is that sometimes it feels like there is too much of his inner conversation going on. Sometimes it is more extensive than the conversations taking place among the characters and it doesn't work as well for me. I think there are sentiments he makes that are repetitive that you could cut out to make that inner conversation not monopolize the story. Look forward to Chris' reaction!

I think your paranormal experiment went very well. You are great at getting at the emotions of your characters and making them tangible. You made me cry and that doesn't happen often at all. Well done!

I was happy you didn't turn it right into ..oh he's my mate...at least for now. I liked how the kid adored vamps but didn't believe they existed somewhere. I look forward to seeing who these characters really are..I hope you'll tell more of their story as it continues. I think this was part of a series? Luther is a funny character. I loved him pouring blood from a hot thermos. lol. hope another part comes soon.

Wow, that was a great chapter! I can't believe the ending! A Sayer darling! noooo! One thing I am wondering is whether his parents are among the imprisoned Darklings? I hope Birch gives him hell when this is over. He seems to expect Birch to just run along behind him. I know Birch is new to the fae and all, but he is clearly intelligent and his coming from a different place may just be a strength for them as it was when he freed Jaylen. I think sayer needs to start seeing him and treating him like an equal. At minimum, he owed him an explanation as to what he was planning. Birch deserves to know at minimum, what is being risked since he just got Sayer back. It's the least Birch is owed given he accepted who Sayer really was and that he'd have to share him with his people. I agree with Birch that going off half-cocked and not talking it through was too risky! This was a kick-ass chapter. Can't wait for next wed. minor thing-I think you changed the name of venson to Vernon?

You never disappoint! I love it when Noah says he needs a new list. Eli has his attention! I hate that this is in shorts..do you expect to expand it at all later? I'd love to hear a bit about his relationship with Derek and how unfulfilling it was by comparison, but don't want to miss a sexy minute of Eli and him for that Whoo is Eli hot! Can't wait till they have even more privacy, preferably at Noah's place and with Derek walking in while Noah is having an out of body experience with him! lol. thanks for all the great stories!

Eli has a maturity about him and a perceptiveness I like for Noah. Noah doesn't say most of what he feels, another side-effect of Derek. The chapter made me smile and was super-hot all at the same time. Rob, you don't disappoint! Noah may be older but I think Eli has a whole lot to show him (about life

lmao i'm sure you'll get sick of these comments 'but boy is alpha john sexy in black!' lol. But seriously, I am intrigued by Alex's clearly Alpha tendencies. I think it would help the story a bit if you put some more details in. For example, most of us who read werewolf fic will know that packs tend to eat in order of rank. I always think a story should be written as if the reader doesn't have to 'know' in order to get the meaning in parts. When Alex says 'you're one of us so you'll eat like us'....is he talking about him being family or does he mean the pack eats like humans and just lines up first come first serve? what rule was that old fat wolf referring to? I guess just try to be clear b/c things like rank. When mentioning omega, define it for the new to werewolf story reader. I think having differences in how a pack works makes the story less boring. We are starting to see several things, like the amount of touching Alex does with Adrian. Now, I'd have expected Rick to say something about him being a rogue and gay b/c of it. Maybe letting the reader know if werewolves are touchy or if it is Alex comforting another wolf will help us know if it is that or that he likes him or could be his mate. The picnic was a great chance to introduce us to some other members too. Are their other wolves their age? I look forward to more of the story.. Try to introduce us to their world a bit more broadly.