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Paranormal
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Willing to Edit if anyone needs it. Story editor for a couple of GA authors.
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rockycs's Achievements
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Great first chapter. Looking forward to more.......... A small thing if I may. When I got to: Hudson exhaled, defeated. “Okay. Fine.” Liam waited. Hudson looked down at the fries, then back up, his voice dropping into something more honest. “Your movies aren’t really my thing,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be rude.” My first thought was "What fries? Where did they come from? Sure enough, a few lines later: “I’m going to get your fries,” Hudson said, voice rougher than before, already squeezing himself off the box. (I have trouble sometimes staying out of editing mode 😁)
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Morgan's magic seems a bit tired. Maybe there is a strength of will needed along with the words of a spell. There does seem to be something about Kyle that is yet to come to light. A positive influence on Morgan? You never have too much good magic in a story! 😁
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I'm also going back to reread from the beginning since I got sidetracked part way through while waiting for the next book. There are actually five books - not a trilogy. Plus a prequel. I started out long ago on crvboy.org but will follow along here for awhile because I like reading others comments.
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I'm suffering from Dragon withdrawal!
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I don't think Finley needs to be overly worried about Steven..... “Emmett, I-” I began cautiously, wanting to explain to him that I too had instincts which forced me to act, but an indignant sound interrupted me. The strange flavor in his bouquet of emotions was longing, if I wasn't mistaken, but that was a completely inappropriate component, it couldn't be right. When it comes to love Finley always doubts himself. I suppose when your twin spends a lifetime trying to kill you it's a little off putting. Dragons seem to have such a weird family life. Where were the parents? Just have a bunch of dragonlings and wait to see how many survive?
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The line: “The guy I mentioned in my little story? Bomb killed him because he made a joke about it.” Is "the guy and the little story" in this chapter or another chapter? I can't find the reference.
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Oddly enough Finley seemed to me a good name for a Dragon. But "Bomb" ?? A nickname from military jobs possibly but seems in common use by family. Maybe Bomb accidently blew something up as a child? An eclectic group (based on name origin): Finley - Irish/Scottish Uther - Welsh Michael - Hebrew Alfred - English Yannik - French Bomb
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Perhaps it's not "folks", but rather one person who also has the ability to influence people or things. But with a darker purpose.
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A curiosity. If he can bend people to his will, why would he need Helen's money for the bus? Why not just go to the station and have the clerk hand him a free ticket. Or hasn't he thought of that yet? Second, does the tattoo change from 40 to 39? (I know, a bit weird) 😅
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So timeline wise we seem to have jumped from a chapter in November 2019 to one in December 2022. Before getting too deeply into the storyline perhaps the author could share some thoughts on how the story may continue? I mean at 73 there is always the nagging thought I might not outlast any more significant delays. 😁 That would be too bad since it's an intriguing plot!! I find i was already following the story but don’t remember a thing. (Not too surprising, I guess).
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Chapter 160 The Pastor and the Easter Bunny
rockycs commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 160 The Pastor and the Easter Bunny
Hmmm... Don cuts off the money supply. Hopefully that triggers Robbie into checking out his Trust Fund balance. We can see how Don has been managing it for Robbie. 🤯- 21 comments
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It should be interesting as the inductees are from the 1940's. So a 1940's education and world view based on 1940's technology. If they are going to be at all functional in the far future there must be some significant brain "uploading" of info and skills on the way.
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Destination Host Unreachable
rockycs commented on LJCC's story chapter in Destination Host Unreachable
This moving back and forth in time is making me more than a bit queasy. 😁. And I have to admit I'm only grasping "who is who" with half the chaacters at the moment. Thank God we are only 7 chapters in. Always up for a challenge, I think I'll go back a bit and see if I can get myself re-oriented. -
I can see already I am going to like this story! And i'm already disliking the "corporate" takeover of society. I'd like to go there just to be disruptive, but I suppose I'd soon be offed or otherwise marginalized... 🙂
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Thanks for another chapter. A couple of comments: 1. I think the school problem/detention thing is getting old. 2. Perhaps someone needs to have a bit of a heart-to-heart chat with Cindy and impress on her how lonely middle/old age can get when you wake up one day and realize your son/daughter is over 18, gone out on their own, and really don't want to maintain much of a relationship with you anymore.
