pvtguy
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Everything posted by pvtguy
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There's too much to just end this in another chapter or two! It needs at least a second volume!
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Mission - Do Your Job
pvtguy commented on Littlelovestories's story chapter in Mission - Do Your Job
And you really leave us hanging now! Great job creating this intrigue. I'm really wanting to know G's motivation too - did he have more than professional feelings for Zeke? Who are these "bad guys"? -
Truth is, this has been going on for a long time in the court system, unfortunately. That it also reflects current happenings simply is coincidental.
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Very effective questioning. In the light of what's going on in contemporary situations regarding police and certain victims, this is most apropos.
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Cadet First Class • III
pvtguy commented on Carlos Hazday's story chapter in Cadet First Class • III
Wonderful chapter, Carlos! Ritch is certainly developing his leadership abilities and allowing his passion to flourish.- 72 comments
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The next week and the penultimate chapter will be here before you know it. Thank you for your patience in reading the story and for your comments. I do hope "penultimate" does not equate to "Finale" unless it is only a bridge to part 2! I am not ready for a quick ending - almost not ready for any ending yet!!!
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Superb writing! You have allowed the reader to experience the tension, the heat, the drive, etc. And...the story's plot has ratcheted up one more step! Are you sure you have to wait until next Thursday to post?
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Love is more than emotion: it is a decision to accept the other for who the other is and want that person to be most significant in one's life. Yes, they definitely need to talk, and yes, Matt needs to talk with his dad to sort through his emotions so that he can reach the rational state. Love the developments in this chapter!
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I really like the zeroing in that Ben is doing. So au courant with what's happening in Minneapolis at the moment...
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Hmmm....Ritch as a lawyer and pilot? I could see that, but don't know if he will follow that route. We'll have to wait to see what's in store for him. Great chapter as always, Carlos! Tony
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Brilliant chapter! It's wonderful to see Rick now living his truth. Can't wait for the next chapters!!
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Very interesting style of writing for a short story. I really like this author's stories and his ability to put together a compelling plot. This one is, in my opinion, not equal to other stories posted by this author, but that is not to say it is not worth reading - it is!
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Aidan's terrible first birthday & the big move
pvtguy commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Aidan's terrible first birthday & the big move
I'm betting that two months prove to be too long...yet I understand Matt's need to be with his dad. I'll bet Aidan does feel a bit of separation anxiety. Great chapter!!- 41 comments
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I still find it a bit unsatisfying... but then again, all doesn't have to be tied up neatly. I feel badly for the school especially - even though it sounds as though it was not all that wonderful to begin with having such a weak principal. And as for Professor Hearst: it matters not how wonderful a teacher he was, in that he was also a pedophile, he may be found "guilty" of murder for which he has been framed, but he is still guilty for killing the souls of how many victims! I don't have one bit of sympathy for him. Now on to your next story!
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It would be too easy to conclude that the mystery is solved at this point...that would make the story too short and unsatisfying. After all, intrigue is needed! Now, on to the next chapter!!
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You've captured quite well the "logic" of teens but also have created the intrigue to know what was really going on.
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This chapter reminds me of Jean Paul Sartre's short story "No Exit" in that Noelle is cognizant of her state because she is still in the memory of someone. Well done.
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I loved the entire chapter and all you accomplished therein. I especially loved the moment with Brett: Ritch's connection with him is confirmed. Thank you, Carlos. Your excellent writing and story telling are much appreciated!
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Ok...Ben is slowly building the scene before he starts parcing it for inconsistencies. I know it's slow, but I find it a more accurate approach than the quick "I gotcha!". Would enjoy more frequent postings....hint!
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Careful What You Wish For
pvtguy commented on Littlelovestories's story chapter in Careful What You Wish For
Oh, the mystery of it all! What is this organization of which G, Zeke and Corey are involved? Curiouser and curiouser... -
Ah! At last - Rick's testicles have descended! And it's due to his finding out from Rita her true nature. Wonderfully well written chapter - and the title is, like every chapter name so far, most appropriate!
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Chapter 148 One of Those Days
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 148 One of Those Days
He wasn’t the only one; I doubt if Nostradamus could have predicted it. A laugh-out-loud line if ever there was one! Robbie's life has been full of challenges - so why not now too? Very intriguing twist! -
The relaxed atmosphere allows for each of them to just be themselves. It gives Matt a fuller view of Seamus both as an individual but as a person loved much by his friends.
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Men. They are un-understandable
pvtguy commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Men. They are un-understandable
Oh Matt! You're showing your youth! Seamus is going to have to be direct once again. Great chapter!- 37 comments
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Setting the stage carefully...I'm waiting for the "Aha-Gotcha!" moment, knowing full well it is a way off. So far, Ben is starting to create the perimeter.
