Jason Rimbaud

I love your comments, I kind of already addressed them in Chapter Eight, all I can say is keep them coming. J

Let's start off by saying I do agree with the above statement I quoted. And I understand what you were desiring and wishing to have read. And I get the motivations behind it. So I did not take offense. Actually this opens up a chance for us to examine the actual nuts and bolts of the writing. So this might be my favorite comment thus far. I will answer you with two responses. The first response will be the explanation I honestly think. And the second response will be examining the characters motivations and the reason the scene was written in this way. And yes, the second response is a rationalization after the fact and was not in any way what I was thinking upon first writing the scene in question. Response One: Some might say that a reason is just an excuse in disguise. But honestly, this was my first attempt at writing a sex scene and I truly think I suck at writing them. Yes. I know the words and I understand the correct appendages and those functions. But since I've always viewed sex as strictly physical and out of the, lots of people I've made the "O" face with over the years, I rarely felt an emotional connection. I never understood the concept of saving your virginity because it was something special. Mine was taken from me and even with the fucked up repercussions that entailed, I still say good riddance. Sex isn't sacred, it's a natural function of the human body and should be shared freely with everyone who wants to experience it. Response Two: While Tyler had plenty of sex before Brandon, this was his first time exploring his attraction with a male. The reason it was mechanical, why there wasn't fireworks shooting off in the background, there was no established intimacy yet between the two boys. You might not be there yet in regards to this story, but this lack of emotional connection is explored in chapter 16 and chapter 17, at least around the edges in a conversation Tyler has with someone. If I knew you were at that point, I would go into more detail Tyler was experiencing his first time, his first time bottoming, and he treats it like a chore almost, he's determined to do this no matter what. So of course there is no emotional connection, he's stuffing a dick up his ass and he needs to concentrate. And I don't think two people can have that connection the first time they engage in sex. That type of intimacy comes with emotional connection as well as the physical. Emotional connection takes time, sharing of ones self outside of making the "O" face. Brandon and Tyler might never get to that point you are craving. , the part you enjoy. I don't share that point of view, the long looks, hesitant touching, those things I don't find interesting to read or write about. I love foreplay but I don't find those things to be foreplay. The truth is, I'm not good at writing sex scenes and the things you mentioned, never occurred to me to include them. But thank you for your comments, I love the way you express yourself. Just from your comments, I would have guessed that those scenes would be lacking for you. In one of my favorite shows, 'Allo 'Allo, there is a character that you reminded me as you both express yourself in the same manner.

Now I'm mentally watching all the readers touching the head of their peens to check if it does in fact make a sound. That in itself was worth it! As usual, @Philippe swoops in for the win.

Finally someone mentioned boink!!!!

I've never been one to play nice with others, I'm an only child that doesn't like to share, drugs or men, though sometimes men is perfectly acceptable but drugs never. Of course that was the old me before I met my husband and settled down like a good neutered former reformed slut (my husband made me type that) But I still don't like to share.

Never, never, never, and I mean never explain a perfect pun!!!

Two times I wrote the sound Tyler's dick makes is boink and no one mentioned it. Made me almost want to break them up out of spite. .

How about the Log Cabin Republicans?

I mean, when you're right, your write... Tyler is such a perv, I could see him contemplating it.

Are you referring to Boink?

It only took me 19 chapters and nearly 100k words to get those two together so the real story can begin. PS: I love Tyler and Brandon, it's really gonna suck when Brandon starts seeing Devin...I mean when Brandon runs off and joins the covent, that's what I meant to say. .

There was a tonal shift, and what I wanted to do in Part Two, these two chapters no longer fit in. So instead of stopping on Saturday, Part One will end on Sunday. And since I tend to drag things out, one day is worth about forty pages.

Tyler pulled onto Mendenhall Road and said, “Devin will come around. It’s just a bit weird for him.” “I guess if my best friend started dating the school freak, I’d be a bit weirded out too,” Brandon said softly. “Don’t say that,” Tyler admonished him with a frown. “I don’t think you’re a freak.” Brandon rolled his eyes as Tyler continued, “Seriously, he doesn’t think you’re a freak. He’s just uncomfortable because he saw us in bed.” “What?” Brandon exclaimed loudly. “When?”

If that was me taking the pic, I wouldn't share it with anyone..

I think you are way off here, remember whoever this is mentioned me, there can only be like four or five candidates, @Thirdly is high on that list for sure, but there isn't many to choose from, and I don't think she writes mysteries. Unless you can lie on this questionnaire to throw people off the scent? I don't know the rules to this thing as I never even knew this guess an author was a thing.

Bad @Laura S. Fox, you have Cottontail presenting his...well...his tail and then you don't give him his reward. During our next coffee sesh you and I will be having strong words, believe that. On a different note, it's my turn to buy so we can't meet at Starbucks like we always do, too expensive, so can we meet in the park and I'll bring you a coffee from home, almond milk with caramel ice cubes, fresh espresso whipped cream, and shaved chocolate? Let me know, it takes a few days to prepare. 🤪 And by the by, how the *f-word swear* could Jamie sleep next to Cottontail and not peak under the mask? If it would have been me, when Cottontail's mouth was full, I would have removed that mask in a new york second. Jamie must love torturing himself.

So a few things stood out for me, 1. One, you mentioned wings--big thumbs up, I own a wings restaurant and they are my love, obsession 2. Video games and wings---orgasmic combination and one I do all the time, if it were Red Dead Redemption 2 it would be the story of my life. This feels lived in, the characters are comfortable, and though the chapter is short, you immediately get the feel that these are humans who know each other, and genuinely like one another. That's not so easy to do, people write friends all the time but never get that easy rhythm that people who like each other fall into so easily. I will continue on quite enthusiastically. This is only my weird opinion and an argument I've been having with a few of my writer friends, but cliffhangers suck on many levels. Especially when the writing is super strong like the one you gave us, you don't need it to entice moving to the next chapter. Yet I get why you do it, I went over your profile so that all makes perfect sense. I just hate them. Anyway, this is the first story I've read of yours, and I really like your style and your narrative voice, You have me in your corner. J

I've always been fascinated with and by smells, the smells in the kitchen, the scent of fresh mowed grass, it's a very powerful. So it's only natural I incorporate into my writing. Tyler is learning who he is, both as a person and sexually, it's all a fun journey.

These are very nice words and you humble me. Let's hope if you continue reading, your opinion does not change. J

I know, I'm saying it's not you because the only correct answer to what is your favorite ice cream flavor is YES! you know this, so it can't be you.

I thought the same thing, @Thirdly is the only person I know who draws, who collabs with other authors, and always say she never finishes things. But that ice cream flavor choice, my @Thirdly would never choose such a barbaric flavor. .

So I don't have the time to read this story, I will promise I will read it and come back with a better comment. But if there was an award for best title, you would be in the top three all time amazing titles. The title alone made me want to check this story out. J

Not me, I don't eat eggs, I don't like (i meant to say I hate) the smell of dogs and if you were to ask me my favorite flavor of ice cream, I would have to say, yes. Whomever it is, at least in regards to mentioning Glacier Bay, they have bad taste in authors. . J

Remember, all the sex is done, they are now pure christian boys who only think about wholesome things.

I'm a rock star like that...very cool under pressure There is nothing worse than having blue icee thrown on you. Speaking from experience.