Thank you for this wonderful comment. I can’t tell you how encouraging it is to know you will come back to this again. Each of the four pieces is a ‘mirrored cinquain,’ a syllable counting form I have come to enjoy. The story is unfinished, but I hope you will imagine an ending you like.
I am glad you found this interesting. Your comparison made me shiver. I very much enjoy Dorothy Parker. Your metaphor for words sitting on the skin made me twitch. It's very engaging. Thank you for thinking about this one, and for your very kind remarks.
In writing a review, I sometimes find myself explaining how the story made me feel, or made me want to do. Several stories inspired me to write something - poetry or prose - and in my better moments, I can explain why. I agree that, as an author whose work is being reviewed, it would be nice to know what people liked or disliked about what was written, and how it was written. Still, is at least comforting to know that what I wrote moved a reader sufficiently to make even a briefly worded statement.
Thank you, @Valkyrie, for your very kind thoughts. It is not an easy piece, for the kind of interplay of thoughts and emotions were hard to convey completely. What is saddening is that so many of us understand this as well as we seem to do. But I am glad that it called you to read and then re-read it. Hugs back....
Fugue in a Minor Key
I fit
no simple frame,
I have no pigeonhole,
no snug category in which
to thrive;
too weak
for submission's obedience, That face:
too old for attraction, those distant eyes -
and far too strange how could one not see them?
for love. They looked as though they could see right
I guess it pays to be loud, sometimes. And the intention was clear, wasn’t it? That the last stanza gave you a chuckle makes me smile. I am glad you liked this poem, and that it brought good memories to your mind. Thanks for reading!
Oh, yes - that story comes right to mind. What makes me happy is that this poem connected with you in ways perhaps tangential to my imagination, yet which intrigue and connect. And I recall those candy bins, too. Many thanks for finding this so early in your day...
Volume
Today I wore my orange shirt,
in hues so bright it almost hurt,
yet if without it, you would fail
to see that I was there to flirt.
Indeed, despite my hearty hail,
right past my face you'd likely sail;
unless I wear my jersey bright,
my efforts are of no avail.
I know my chance is very slight,
but I will not give up the fight
to win you from the sparkling crowd
and dance with you into the night.
And later, when we're each avowed,
we'll
There is a feeling of growth and positive change in this chapter, despite the news about Geoff’s job. And I do feel so bad for Geoff. Yet, he’s learning how to talk to his boyfriend about his body, and what he likes, which is hugely important. And Tony is learning to trust Geoff with his own secrets. Meanwhile, Geoff edges closer to letting his mother know the truth...great chapter.
Your last line is immensely telling and inspiring: the last day again, is today.
There are times when I have wrestled hurts and memories and bad choices I have made. Your words will bring me strength when that happens.
But I am also struck by the safety, trust and comfort you recognize in the arms that hold, and the heart that loves.
Difficult chapter, this, because I know that Allen hurts so badly, yet lashes out at those who would love him. Joey is badly hurt, but maybe this time he'll come back to Ticker or Star. Or maybe Allen, despite the pain. I will be interested to see where you take this.