JayT

wow this chapter didn't end with sex.....just saying hehehe...and whatever happened to Landon??? just curious...

yup Kyle is used to having him around hehehe

so Kyle is used to having him around huh

Hey Carlos excellent job! I sent you a message but I'll say it here too just in case....it's January but you put the baby's b-day as February 17. I didn't think this was a Sci-Fi story with time travel.

hmmm makes me wonder what thoughts Mr. Chris is having...Michael was so in lust with Aiden he wanted to be his bitch

I know there is no wrong way to mourn. My family feels differently. I experienced it to some degree in 2009 when my other grandparents died. Because I wasn't acting sad, my mom didn't think i was reacting correctly.

I thought about me being in shock at first. I did a quick emotional and psychological inventory on myself and honestly, I'm not in shock. I can sit here and say yes I will miss him. But I think I'm moving away from apathetic towards being okay with it, which will still not be an appropriate response according to some members of my family. I'm dreading seeing my family. I know my family loves me, but it's almost like none of them know how to talk to me. I have always been the black sheep of the family. The odd one out. There are times when they unintentionally make me feel like a pariah. I know that's going to be the case for the next few days. And gods forbid my brother and bitch-in-law (I mean sister-in-law) should show up with their kids. My bitch-in-law won't allow me to be around my nieces and nephew. I have 4 nieces and a nephew. Two of the nieces and the nephew I've never seen. My oldest three nieces I haven't seen in probably three or four years. My brother just goes along with whatever decision his wife makes regarding me. My parents won't stand up to her for me. They say that they won't choose a side. From where I'm standing, they are choosing a side. I have spent the last two Christmas Days alone because my parents will go to Austin to be with them. Granted, this year I did go to my grandparents on Christmas day, but nobody spoke to me unless they had to. I know I was welcomed, but I didn't feel like anyone wanted me to be there. And it wasn't just in my head. Imagine sitting there while every single other person in the room received a gift and they all opened their gifts in front of me. They all knew weeks probably months ahead that I would be there that day while my parents were with my brother and his family. There was nothing for me. Not even a card. Nobody said anything to me. They only told me Merry Christmas if I said it to them first. There were thirteen people there including me. Alright enough of this pity party. Sorry to go on and on like this.

Thank you. Why is it our families think that if one of us isn't showing emotion, we're not mourning correctly. Hell, the man lived almost 91 years. He lived a full life. What's there to mourn? I think the only thing he ever wanted to do that he never got the chance to do was go to Israel; even then, he would say I would like to see the "Holy Lands" and I know he meant Israel as it was in the Bible, not now.

My grandfather died. I should feel sad right? I feel nothing. I loved my grandfather and I know he loved me, he told all of us every chance he got that he loved us. I don't even feel bad that I'm not really sad. My brain is telling me that this makes me a sick and fucked up person. My mind is also telling me that I know I should feel a certain way. And then it tells me that I should feel ashamed that I'm not sad. Don't get me wrong....I'm not happy. On the other hand, I'm not sad either. I guess I'm apathetic right now. If I admitted that anywhere else, I would fear judgement. Fear isn't the right word. I'm not afraid of being judged; I just don't want to have to deal with it. Honesty time: Since I'm posting this here, it's becoming more and more obvious that I someone to call me on my bullshit right now. Am I looking for a fight? Maybe. If someone tried to call me on my bullshit right now, I would get extremely emotional trying to justify the fact that I'm supposedly apathetic right now. The definition of apathetic is: adjective 1. having or showing little or no emotion. Wow how much of an oxymoron could I be. And look what happens when you remove oxy from the word. You have a moron. (kinda like when you remove the "r" from friend you have fiend. That's why I always warn my friends to beware of friends without an "r"). Having wrote this, it still doesn't change the fact that right now, at this precise moment, I'm truly feel apathetic. Even though I know I should feel something, and I would feel something if someone tried to challenge my apathetic mood right now, I still feel emotionless. Now I'm starting to wonder if I should fake being sad tomorrow when I get around my family. Everyone else will be sad and upset. If they knew that I was feeling this apathetic, they would question me. I can already hear the conversations: Aren't you upset that Pawpaw is gone? Do you care that he's gone? Do you care about anyone other than yourself? Can't you see how upset your grandmother is? You need to get over yourself and help your Mawmaw. Am I over-analyzing this? I honestly don't know. HELP!!!!!!!

I forgot to say earlier...great chapter

"Park was the alpha. Our dads were dead, my brother had been tortured, and our mother was on the edge with her mate’s soul in another man’s body. She was holding it together, but I could see the cracks." If Park is the alpha what is Deke? I think he gave himself a promotion hehehe

For some, this is the only family they have. My parents don't want to know that I'm gay. Like I said in the blog this is the only family I have that accepts I'm gay.

Sounds like fun, sign me up.

It is obvious that Chris is beyond remorseful for his actions. He realizes the gift that is life he has been granted is one he doesn't really deserve. I think he is determined to not squander this second chance. He has grown more than any other other character, except of coarse maybe Ethan.

Wait....What????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How can Shelly Vargas have both blonde and brown hair???

LINGS Lisa is no girl, Steve. STEVE

CRITT Cats running in the tubes. TUBES

You are so not ready to end this story...in my humble opinion. There's so many different paths ahead for this story. I'm looking forward to a lot more...hehehe....great job

I think the Harley has a date tonight comment was a joke. If Harley really did have a date, it wouldn't be until the summer when his bike was in DC

So so so happy you're back to this story....I'm also missing Ezra and Henrick a little bit too *wink wink nudge nudge hint hint*

Sorry this took me all day to read....had to read it in quick batches during work, then I took a nap on the way home i was so tired.... No broken legs but I almost got the Harley conversation right lol j/k....I still think a running motor is the only thing that will ever get Harley's motor running. Would his friends judge him if he fell in love with his bike? hehehe

cliffhangers are a necessary evil. As an author, I know that you eventually reach a point where if you don't end the chapter it would go on too long. Also, without cliffhangers...some readers might not be as motivated to return.

The Return of Douchermad

Happy Birthday