Anton_Cloche

'POC' ? Is this another problem of big fingers vs small keyboard? Predictive typing those Alexa after too many drinks? Or somebody used the rong spel czech?

Good thing you started this chapter with a list of who's who, but I think we need more on the connections. Because as they say about sporting matches, ( baseball, ice hockey, football, soccer etc) you can't tell them players without a program. Hunter is such a sweet boy, 👦 but troubled both because of his innate skills, and fear of what it all means. 🙏 He needs his siblings , but his Dad more and maybe CC to make an appearance to guide.

Or Better Yet... Corey, as he remembers his promise to Zeke to protect Tyler, finds his balls, puts them back in place, grabs a syringe with a HUGE dose of the BURNING solution and stabs G right in the carotid artery. Not so that he bleeds out, but 🔥 burns, a lot.

I'm afraid Tyler's death will be his only escape. This story is taking a bad turn.

Like many others I'm sad to see the story end after such a short run. There are more than a few threads hanging (loose apron strings?) that could re-ignite the spark and fan the flames of maybe a '10 years later' epilogue. Someone drops in unexpectedly on Harlan. Avery and Lee combine their skills and start a food truck business. Stumpy goes to Vegas and becomes a 'real' one armed bandit with Mamma G, oops 'Greta' as the pit boss. The editor in me has found few 'Red Pencil' issues in your writing Wayne. Listen to whatever muse you have. And consider this, writers today with computers and online publishing waste much less paper. (Although Camp Refuge would find a place on my bookshelf). Thank you. Looking forward to what's next.

I think Hunter has to know where the person is in order to teleport to them and not just think 'take me to Tristan". Could a Faraday room throw off his abilities?

Went to sites you 'linked' and came up with "not found". So to find or look up your work on those sites, you go by what name? Otherwise it's needle in haystack. Thanks Tony

@headtransplant you have given us a wonderful gift! The story title is, in my humble opinion (I actually like writing that out versus using IMHO), an accurate reflection of the light you cast on your characters as the story unfolds. Sometimes little by little, other times by leaps and bounds. Revealing E's pain and suffering as he struggled on a daily basis to find a path forward, to find a safe place. Along his way, Ethan saves Michael, finds his way back to Jonathan and eventually finds his truth and what we hope will be a happy future with Jonathan. Am I sad the story is over? Yes, because there are hints of story lines that could form TLYC II; Ethan continues to conquer his demons as he and Jonathan return to Toronto and new jobs. Michael and Sophie work part-time for Rayna while going to school (Sophie has her Ryerson scholarship). And Michael's mother and the Gordon's appear from time to time when needed. Or not. Because you did wrap it up nicely. Although this is your 1st posting on GA, (most readers with the impression it was your First story), you mentioned that you've written more, and I'd love to find a link to your other stories. (Your own or other websites?). Perhaps in chronological order so I could see your progression as a writer? Thanks again for a wonderful story. Tony

Hey, it happens. It is said that Hemingway was ferocious with editors when he wrote for newspapers because of his numerous simple errors. It's part of the process. Keep on writing really engaging stories with characters we can relate to and are believable.

Jonathan and Ethan finally hold each other. Tentatively at first but with the reassurance Ethan needs. Like a sheltering warm nook for a winter weary, frightened animal. The 'editor's eye' in me found a few things. First, when Ethan reflects on Jonathan and him together he thinks to himself: 'Our eyes met then, and I lost myself in a sea of green that drew me in like a moth to the light'. The more often used analogy would be 'like a moth to a flame', but yours is correct and up-to-date. Second, is Michael's aunt and uncle's last name Gordan or Gordon, as it appears both ways? I presume the latter is correct. Third, in his phone call to Mrs. Gordon she refers to her husband saying "Joe is a sweet man", but when they are visiting, she calls him Jim? (Hopefully not a hint that she has memory issues). The Gordon's seem more like grandparents than Aunt Rachel and Uncle Joe, but they're older than Michael's mother. They seem 'real' to Ethan and hopefully they'll be just what Michael needs, and what Ethan longed for when he was a boy. 😥 I do think that what Ethan also felt on some level was sadness at the thought of loosing Michael. 😨 More emotions to come. This is a very good story!

This story reminds me of a 1,000 piece puzzle, with too many pieces the same color and frustrating every attempt to put it together. Michael is looking at Ethan both with a crush and as a protector / big brother. As a result he is wary of, and angry with Jonathan who he sees as someone who will either take Ethan away or make Ethan reject him. What Michael doesn't know is either situation will tear Ethan apart, heart and soul. Jonathan is trying to be a mediator for everyone, seemingly aware of everyone's problems, but not seeing how it puts him at risk. And Rayna, she's more of a mama bear than a mama bird, doing whatever she has to in order to protect her cubs - Jonathan and now Michael - from the danger she senses in Ethan, but not seeing how wounded he is. Perhaps when Ethan talks with his baby sister Sophia she can convince him he no longer has to be 'on the run'. 🙏 🤞

Nice chapter which lays out a number of issues hanging in the air. Suspense so thick you could cut it with 'Jason's' (Friday the 13th) knife. Oooh what's next? As for the DQ being open at end of October, you're right, but maybe it only something those living in snow-belt states or above the 49th parallel would understand. DQ shuts down and parking lot gets prepped for Christmas 🎄 sales. I can't believe no one's written a story review yet. Or do they not know it's like a preview clip for movie or teaser for tv? That it's what draws you in. Something for To Do list?

I 'graded' this chapter with an 'angry' symbol, not because of the writing or the sentiments behind it, (which garnered an 'A'), but for the mindset of those 'judging' his dissertation. It reminds me of two sayings: 'Those that can't do, teach' and 'Judge not, lest ye be judged'. Both (and more) are applicable. IMHO. (not to be confused with LMAO).

Oh oh. Things seemed to be going well. Perhaps too well. Is there a shoe about to drop? (seems I've been here before or at least the trail seems familiar, with, like a roller coaster, some twists and turns coming up before a big drop. Analogies almost used up). 🎢

Hi Cal: Showing up a little late for the show, so excuse me while I find a seat. This is starting off as a 'helping hand' type of story, something I've grown accustomed to with many of your tales. My 'fingers crossed" is that this story goes where I think it will and not try to hurl me off the track like that giant wooden roller coaster. Glad to see you're still pounding away on the keyboard. You've no doubt got many more stories on the 'back burner' of your mind Cal. I look forward to discovering more of your hidden gems! Tony B (aka Anton)

Carlos, there isn't a Day that goes by that I don't Hazzard a guess at what you are up to and cooking up for the current wonderful story and the next (two, three or more). Usually it's when I see a 'real'* rider on a Hog finally enjoying some summer weather to cruise, even if it's the long way for a quart of milk. (* versus someone who's added dual cupholders, iPad on the tank and blasting out too loud tunes with a bass booster. There's no way they can pick up that 'Glide' when they drop it forgetting to put a foot down at a stop light). You've taken us to places with 'Cadet - Ritch's Story' , both in terms of the characters and the locales, that few get to know as they do when partaking of the books you create like a finely hand woven Navaho tapestry. While you didn't name the President, I had visions of him taking off his ' Aviator' sunglasses and tucking them in breast pocket of his jacket (as I've seen him do up close). And 'this' President had the decency and the good nature not to further embarrass Ritch by naming him. Wonder if the cadets tucked the ceremonial secret under the sweat band on the caps for the children in attendance to find. Glad you're on the mend. 🛩️ Tony B

Carlos you've once again crafted an amazing story with wonderful people in it. Yes, they're technically 'characters', but you breathe life into each and every one, which makes them as 'real' as standing next to you. As Ritch and The Wing prepare to go off into the wild blue yonder I wonder what's next. Will we hear a little of Bremen's last year at the Academy flying solo 🛩️? Are there mini-novellas in the works about King, Boxworth (no boxers at Brock's 😋) and the others including our big brahman bull, or are you going to weave them like a colorful thread into the tapestry that is your next story? Congratulations to your nieces successes at university, with one of them following family footsteps into law.

'Fuck, Yonatan felt he needed some friends. Real friends. It seemed that he didn’t have any'. Really? Well if he ever stops being an asshat he'll discover he had friends and may still if he works to correct his problems. It's said that money changes everything, and that may be true. But imperious attitude also changes things, seldom for the better. Mac, you've had a rough time of late. I hope your friend recovered from his heart attack and you from your bout with Covid. But the hospital should have tested him for Covid when he was admitted, let alone discharging him without knowing his status. Hope you got your Pfizer vaccine shot. Take care and keep wearing a mask.

When Davey came back into his 7 year old body, we saw the interaction between the two minds as the younger one horribly realized he had to die. Davey witnessing the very real death of his best friend Sean 'Freckles' - We’d always discussed something like this as a hypothetical, but we’d never known really what would happen. The clock on the nightstand glowed 12:31 when Sean’s body stiffened and a burst of breath was pushed out of his lungs. His hand, still holding mine, crushed my fingers in a death grip, and his back arched in the bed for the briefest of moments before his entire body went limp - shows him what happens when one 'self' gets oblitered, and yet somehow he still believes it's for 'the greater good'. And with 12 chapters left in this book, and one more book to go? You just know there's no way a government willingly gives up the ultimate weapon. 😈 = 💀

This story shows that great things can happen if you 'shack up' with the right person. (Sorry, I couldn't resist that one). It also proves that love 💕can endure all. Thank you Cal.

Although this chapter is a little sad, it shows the love Jim's grandparents had for each other was also reflected in their love and acceptance of him and Tony as individuals and a couple. On the evening of Grandfather and Grandmother's wedding, Grandmother kissed us good night and went to bed. That night Grandfather came to claim his bride. In the morning Grandmother had joined Grandfather. The above section is all too familiar to me as it mirrors what happened with my Mother and Father. After 63 years together they couldn't stay apart. After Mom died at home, Dad tried to carry on, but it wasn't the same. He died 4 months later of what his cardiologist said was a very real thing ... Broken Heart Syndrome. At Dad's funeral his grandson reflected on his grandparents saying: "GrandJeanne and Pa were like the two mourning doves that nested in their backyard. Mated for life, always together." Thanks for this story and especially this chapter.

When President Reagan famously said to his wife after the Hinckley shooting: "Honey, I forgot to duck" maybe he was warned in advance 'somehow by someone', but it 'slipped' his memory?

All I ask is that you give us an indication of how many chapters remain. The content of each chapter will keep us on the edge of our seats, to be sure. Also, have you been combining chapters from previous publication / postings? Asking because a websearch (including a major small book publisher) indicated 40+ chapters for Redux. I'm afraid Davey has something akin to what we know now as a Glioblastoma Multiforme or similar. Thank you.

That's a too easy Bon Voyage! ⛵What's to say the rat bastard drug dealers 🤬 don't kidnap Sarah, Oscar, Kirk & Leon, using them as leverage to get Anton? They're already murderers, so either dead or jailed is the only way Anton & crew will find peace. That is until 'Friend Lord (Edwin) 👑 gets up to his olde demanding ways.

A 'Panic Alarm' that incorporates real time 'Geo tracking', plus detects and analyses wearer's DNA while still looking like a bracelet (that can be worn by anyone)? Wow?