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Black Paper

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About Black Paper

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  • Age in Years
    26
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    Male
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    Bisexual, leaning male

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  1. Oh, I forgot to mention- when I sat on the foot of Jesse's bed like I normally did whenever I came over, Scotty quickly stood up and came over to sit next to me. Almost as if to 'claim' me for his very own in front of Jesse. This is such a golden moment. It’s painful🏆
  2. No I’m not complaining one bit. I just think it’d be HYSTERICAL for some reason😂💋⛓ like just random abuse for no reason👿😛 I just imagined it earlier today. I truly don’t know why. Don’t blame me!! I was the adhd kid in school. It’s in our nature
  3. I secretly want to private message Comicality, one day, & him reply- “DON’T YOU MESSAGE ME, PEASANT.”😤
  4. Black Paper

    Unholy Trinity

    He won’t have to✨🌙
  5. Black Paper

    Unholy Trinity

    Of course It’s unusual, especially to someone like him, that these boys would be like this without a purpose. You will see how it will all make sense and pan out. Thank you so much for reading 🍎✨
  6. Black Paper

    Unholy Trinity

    I will reveal a hidden spoiler because everyone is being so amazingly loving and supportive of this story. The three bullies hate billy and try to make him look bad at lunch because some girls think he’s cute and people are talking about him and they HATED that. Jealousy is what fueled their fire 🔥 Billy is beautiful despite his slightly awkward clothing choices and girls see through many things, a lesson the bullies have yet to learn.✨
  7. Thank you. I wanted to create the scenery of his old house to be magical, beautiful, enchanting, and to have Billy and his family live freely almost like fairies and then have it all taken away and destroyed into a black void of nothing. Something that all of us can relate to in our own lives. And, it is how we react to such events that ultimately defines us as people & beings of this world.🌙
  8. Black Paper

    Unholy Trinity

    I hate Jesse to be completely honest🔥😒 Thank you very much for your words of love🌙
  9. Thank you so much🌙 Chapter 2 has been posted as of this morning.
  10. Chapter 2: ~Unholy Trinity~ As we were driving on our road trip from our old land in Ellijay, Georgia to our new home, in New Jersey, we were forced to go on many highways, turnpikes, intersections, & busy lanes of roads at extremely high speeds. I tried my best to hide my fear from Shannon who was munching on some carrots in a plastic little bag next to me, to my left, out of me being his older brother, but, I was crippled with anxiety. I had never been on a large turnpike as large and as fast as this one in my entire 13 years of life and seeing how close we were to all of the cars, trucks, & other vehicles around us and observing how FAST we were driving, I got electrifyingly nervous; I kept having visions in my mind of what it would be like and feel like if we all got into a terrible and fatal car crash. “What if we… what if we all die?!” I remember thinking as a giant truck was speeding right next to my window. I think my mother noticed my nervousness from peering through her mirror on the passenger side and said “Billy, shhhh just try & get some sleep ya’ here? It’ll be alraaght, baby.” I didn’t relax at all for another 2 whole hours after she said that. But, to make my momma proud and see that I was the ‘big boy’ I said “Okay.” And looked around as I tried to hide my nervousness as best as I possibly could. After a long drive of 2 and a half days, we finally arrived at our 3 story & 3 bedroom suburban white colored knew house with light colored & shiny wooden flooring all around the inside. When I walked inside, I immediately took notice that it was newer than any house that I had ever been inside of before, and I absolutely marveled at the kitchen! “WOW!” I thought as a new looking stove, fridge and sink were all in view as I came inside. “I’ll have so much fun cooking here with momma!” I remember thinking. I imagined all of things that we could make here, all the new recipes, all the new foods, with all of the new equipment. The microwave was new to me since we didn’t have one in our house even though my nan did. After getting settled and my father made more arrangements over his cellphone with his business connections from our old orchard, he told us that the equipment would be shipped to our new orchard’s location by the following two days. He told us all that we should just settle in, get some sleep, and prepare for the next day. Waking up that Monday morning I was nothing, but, a southern bucket of nerves. I had to go to school the following day for the very first time. I didn’t LIKE that one bit. I was fairly shy in large groups of kids my own age, being that, well, I was rarely ever IN groups of kids my own age. My father brought us some food from the local “McDonalds” and as we all sat at the new large glass table, my momma spoke to Shannon and I. “Clothes. You need ‘em ya hear? Today, we gonna go shopping, you, Shannon, & I. You, Billy-Decker, are to pick your very own new school clothes, yourself. You a big boy, now, startin’ high school. And, I know you’ll do just fiiiiine.” She said with a beautiful smile as she curled some of her long blonde & shiny hair behind her ear and took another bite of her breakfast sandwich. I didn’t know anything about clothes shopping, whatsoever. And, as I was fumbling around in the small store on the main-street in town and going through all of the clothing options that they had for boys my age, I found my face turning hot from my frustration and nervousness of all of the new kids at my new school. What will they- what will they like?! What will they like for me to wear? I wanted to impress them. I wanted to show them that I was good enough to be in their school. I wanted them to like me. I wanted- “Uhm, sweetie? ….Do you need some help?” I heard from behind me making me turn around and look up nervously at the manager who stood about 5 feet away from me. “Uhm-uhh.” I started. She seemed nice and patient. So, I continued. “I-I’m startn’ school tomorrow and I’m looki’n ferr some clothes” I said to her. She seemed to widen her eyes when she heard me speak and then gave me a large grin. “Aww, Okay. Do you want some help?” She asked me. I really WANTED her help. But, I’m 13. I don’t need anyone’s help to pick out my clothes, and, like my momma said, I’m a big boy, now, so, I wanted to make her happy. “No, thank yuu’ but, when I’m all chucked out I’ll ring up.” I said with a smile. The girls at the register seemed to giggle at me, which I didn’t understand. About a 40 minutes later I FINALLY found some clothes that I felt the kids at school would like. The clothes that I picked for my first day at school were a stripped pollo shirt that was white and dark blue that fit me, snuggly, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. I got many other clothes that I figured that I would need in the future as well and decided to ring up everything that I had chosen. The girl at the register began talking to me. “So...” She giggled beneath her breath. “Where are you from?” She was fairly pretty so I was a little shy to answer her, but, being polite I said, “I’m from Georgia. I just moved innn yesterday.” “Oh, that’s cool. You starting school a few days late this year, I see.” She continued as she was finishing ringing up my things. “Actually, I ain’t never been to a school in all mah life.” I paused not knowing whether or not I should say it. “I been homeschooled.” She sort of paused and stared at me and smiled, sweetly, “Well, you seem real sweet & I hope you have a great time, okay? If you ever need anything come back.” She said as she handed me my bags. “Uh, sure. Thank you, Miss.” I said being polite as I took my bags. She sort of held her chest and smiled as though it was a shock and a pleasure that I called her that. I thanked the manager as well and was on my way back home. Later that day, my momma drove me to meet a counselor at my new school who took on the task of showing me around the grounds at around 4:00pm after school hours. He took the liberty to guide my mother & I around the building, explained to me where everything was located, informed me on the systems that the school operated with in regards to scheduling, how to locate all of my classrooms, and told me that during lunch hour, I was permitted to either go outside to eat my lunch or eat inside of the school cafeteria and then go out for some free time if I wanted to do so for a nice break and some fresh air. The following day, when I had been dropped off by my papa at school for the very first time, just before he went on his 1 ½ hour drive away to where our new orchard was located, we turned the corner to the school's street and I was instantly tied in a knot of emotions and social anxiety. Seeing all of the cars, kids walking around and into the building, the crossing guard allowing kids to cross, and hearing all of the noise and chatter that I was so not accustomed to or had every experienced before, I was reluctant to even get out if the car. But, I did, nonetheless, as I would never want to disappoint my papa. And, the very moment that my feet hit the pavement of that cement curb, my entire life had changed forever. My daddy bid me one last farewell as he smiled and told me to relax and make the most of my day. I half-heartedly grinned back at him and told him how much I loved him. And, before I knew it, he drove off. Turning back around, I already noticed the faces of some kids stopping what they were doing and looking at me. I noticed one group of 3 girls smile at me as they saw me walking by. When I, finally stepped inside, I took a moment to just stand in the middle of the river of students zipping by me. That’s exactly what it reminded me of, the ol’ river back home and the noise the crashing water would make as the waters were never calm, but, always swiftly moving and in a hurry, is just what this sea of students reminded me of. As I took more time to more carefully examine the other kids, I realized how different they were from any other teens that I rarely ever even got meet at the occasional annual county fair or state gatherings during the season change in the summer, back in Georgia. In the ol’village, people, when they had to, went out of their way to look clean. But, no one went out of their way to really look GOOD. All of these kids looked like they were dressed like they were going to some fashion party or some sort of a New Years show, at least to ME, anyway. They reminded me of the human version of those action figure toys you see in stores or on the big screen. Most of them looked like they weren’t even real, and like they were pretending to be real people if that makes any kind of sense. That was the difference. That’s exactly what I felt as I stood in that loud & crowded hallway seeing kids look at me as they passed me by as I noticed their clothes in comparison to my own while they chatted with their friends. I felt like I was on a stage of a film and a director was about to yell “Cut!” In order to give me a break from acting. But, this wasn’t a movie. This was real. And I couldn’t pause any of it. I couldn’t stop what was happening; I didn’t get a break. I wasn’t allowed. When I finally walked into my home class, however, that was when I finally got a real taste of what kids my own age, of this nature, were really like. As I stepped inside, most of the class went silent and the teacher was looking at me with a questioned look. She was a very nice looking and pretty lady in her 30s with blonde hair and smiled at me when she saw me and said, “William?” “Uhh- yes ma’am. That’s me.” I said softly as I looked at her. I peeked at the kids who were already looking at me and some girls talked into each other’s ears. “That’s great. Okay, well, you can have a seat right there in the second row from the window. You can introduce yourself, later, okay?” She instructed me kindly as she egged her head a bit in the direction of where my new seat was located inside of the classroom. “Thank you.” I said as I slowly walked over to my chair. In the back of the classroom, I immediately, took notice of a group of three boys looking right me with puzzled looks. One had bright blonde hair. One had shorter deep black hair. And, the third had long, rich light brown hair that flowed, gracefully, over his cheekbones in the front and was longer than this shoulders by an inch in the back. After I sat down and the class got settled, my teacher spoke. “Now, class I want to inform everyone about and welcome our new student who has just moved from another state & into our town. William-Decker has come all the way from Georgia. He’s never been to public school before and I want everyone to help him if he needs anything.” She made emphasis on how my home state was obviously farther away from theirs and was quite different. “And, I want everyone to include him as a part of our school.” She paused for a moment as silence filled the room “William, would you mind standing up and telling us a little about yourself” she asked me. She wants me to introduce myself? I remember looking at my desk for a moment and was a bit frozen from the nerves that seemed to tease my body which stopped it from being able to remember how to move correctly in accordance with my will. “It’s okay. Take your time.” She said to me with a concerned look on her face, obviously noticing how nervous I must have been. I got up and looked around for a moment and shyly said. “Mah na— is william Irv—“ I said. “Sweetie do you mind speaking up, please? I’m afraid we can’t hear you.” She asked me. I took a big gulp and talked loudly to them all for the very first time. “Mah name’s William-Decker Irving. But, errybody calls me Billy.” I stopped as I noticed some kids giggle at me talking. “Classs. Quiet, please!” She said a bit ashamed of their behavior and wanting to impress me and welcome me with respect and opened arms. “Go ahead, Billy.” She told me. Reluctantly, I said, loudly, “Mah folks are the owners of an apple orchard in Georgia-or- I mean we were. We bought ourselves a new one close bah’ here and I’ll be livin’ in this town. I reckon’ it’s ‘bout 1 hour and half aways from here and imma see it for the first time this weekend. Uh-I like to cook, go fishin’ when the special occasion suits it right and uhm mah favorite color is blue.” I finished meekly as I then looked up at the teacher. She smiled so warmly at me and it made me smile a bit, myself, from having her acknowledge what I said in a positive way. “Well, thank you Billy. Anyone have any questions for Billy before we head on for the day?” She asked the class. The class was silent for a moment besides a few giggles and girls whispering in each other's ears. No one wanted to ask me anything which made me a little sad from them not wanting to engage in any type of conversation with me. “Ooo!! IIII have a question!” The blonde haired boy in the back said waving his hand up, desperately, with fake innocence and a false smile. “Yes, Jesse. Go ahead.” The teacher said and nodded for him to continue. With a charming smile and wicked malice behind his eyes he mimicked my way own way of talking in an exaggerated & rude manor, "Iss his Graaannyy Paauulaa Dee'eeeen?" And all of the kids in the class immediately laughed at the taunting remark. "Jesse Bradford, …get OUT." The teacher said pointing sharply at the door and looking at him angrily. He stopped his movements for a moment and rolled his eyes as he reluctantly got up and walked towards the door. As he passed me, he peered sharply at me through the corner of his eyes. After he left and shut the door, the teacher asked again, "Any other questions?" And smiled sweetly at me. No one answered, but they exchanged a few hidden looks with one another. I heard some snickers and giggles that weren't loud enough for Ms. Silverman to be able to hear. I just stood there, awkwardly, as I began to understand... these kids didn't like me. They didn't want me in their class. I was weird. I was ‘tainted.’ "Okay. You may sit down now Billy. Thank you." She said to me and egged her head, kindly for me to sit. The school lunch cafeteria was an extremely different experience for me. Not only did I feel nervous to stand so close to so many kids that I didn’t know in the line to pick our food from the options that were displayed in the glass covered case which held all of the items that would be offered to us for that day in the lunchroom, but, half of the things that I saw, I didn’t even recognize or knew what they were. Since, I didn’t know what to pick for myself, I decided to peek at the other kid’s trays and get for myself what the majority of them had. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to be included. I smiled, though, when I saw a little basket of apples by the register and it reminded me of my family and of my old home and I took one and smelled it, deeply as I closed my eyes with a dreamy smile. In this vast land of foreign things, people, and customs, I finally found one thing that was familiar to me, that I recognized, and that made me feel warm and safe. Sitting alone at a large table by myself, I noticed those same three boys from my class at a table near mine with a bunch of other kids. After about 4 minutes, through all of the cafeteria chatter, my ears were able to pick up & hear a few distinct sentences which were said by those boys loud enough for me to be able to register them. “What kind of shirt is that? It looks so GAY.” The longer haired boy said as his friends laughed in a boyish mixture of giggles & snickers. I slumped in my chair when I heard that. I worked really hard to pick this shirt out to look as normal and nice as possible to the best of my ability so I could please everyone at my new school. And, I remember feeling my cheeks turn beet red and get extremely hot from hearing some of the other kids in the lunchroom start to laugh at their comments and look at me. Trying to distract myself and just begin eating my little lunch, I took a sip of my chocolate milk and smiled at its flavor. I liked chocolate milk a lot. Chocolate was something that I rarely ever got to drink or eat back home and was my absolute favorite food of all time. I picked up one of the chicken nuggets and stared at it for a moment. “What’s this?” I asked to myself using my lips, but, making no sound, whatsoever. “Oh my god.” I heard one of the boys say. I guess they were still examining me and were able to read my lips at my statement about the chicken nugget which I had never seen or eaten before in my life. “Is this kid fu***ng retarded?” The blonde boy said as he looked at me as though I was the weirdest thing on Earth. “He doesn’t know what a chicken NUGGET is? What the f**k is happening?” He said. The dark haired boy said, “Shutup, Jesse! It’s not his fault he only eats raw corn & hay everyday for lunch straight off the ground with his horsies & cows that his momma feeds him.” And the blonde ‘Jesse’ spit a little from trying to hold in his laughter. “He probably smells like corn & dirt from his lunchtime back home.” The dark haired boy finished. “He probably smells like sh**” the blonde one said. The dark haired boy, then, got up and walked over to me and smelled my neck and arms. “EWWWW! He stinks like SHI*!!!” He said really loud. “Probably from sleeping in the barn last night.” He finished and then held his nose as more kids heard what was being said. “I do not.” I said to him nervously, but, not looking up in his direction. “Quiet, Barn Boy! Nobody said you could talk.” He called me as a new nickname. “Mah name’s Billy.” I said softly & staring at the table. “What? I’m sorry I can’t understand anything you’re saying.” He giggled with them at my sharp southern accent. It wasn’t my fault that I talked like this! I never once in my life felt ashamed to talk or hated my own voice. But, now, I was starting to. I felt so embarrassed and wanted to hide, but, I was in a large table by myself so everyone was able to stare at me and see everything that was going on. Then, really loudly, the long haired boy said. “NO! His name isn’t Barn Boy. He’s ‘Billy’ right? His name is Hill’Billy!” And, a bunch of the kids in the cafeteria laughed at the new name that he had made for me. “YEAH!! HillBilly!” The main blonde one said with a smile as he laughed and clapped his friend’s hand in a boyish handshake, liking the new name that he gave me. “Good one, Sascha.” And, he sort of leaned back and held his own belly as he squinted his eyes shut from trying not to laugh so hard. “HillBilly.” my mind kept echoing my new name over and over again as I heard the echoes of everyone’s laughter circle around in my head while they all looked, stared, and pointed at me. I slowly got up with my head down and threw my lunch away, seeing the apple that I happily picked role into the trash can. I didn’t touch it. I didn’t even want it, anymore. In fact, looking at that apple made me really sad. I went outside to breathe as I was told I may do so after I was finished with my lunch until the period ended. I was so nervous and embarrassed by seeing so many kids around me outside, just, STARING at me like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t quite fathom everything that had just happened inside. Everyone felt the same way. So, it made me think that if they all felt that, maybe, there WAS something wrong with me. And, I got really anxious not knowing what it was. I felt my eyes swell up with some tears. “They-they hate me.” I said to myself looking at the ground. I was a really sensitive kid who didn’t take well to anyone being angry at me back home or not approving what I was doing. And, now, all of these kids- My mind stopped thinking as I looked up and noticed those three main boys begin walking in my direction with a group of kids following them from behind. They- they were coming for me. I didn’t know what to do and I just backed up all the way against the brick wall as I felt the nerves and social anxiety begin to take over my entire body. They fully reached me and I finally got a good look at them up close and I was… speechless. The middle boy was a blonde kid with one large set of perfect bangs that swooped over his eye. His eyes were a shining sky blue that almost didn’t seem to look real from how big and bright they were. I remember seeing some Barbie doll commercials back home whenever we got the chance to actually see something on the big ol’ screen. And, that’s EXACTLY who he reminded me of. If Barbie had a younger brother in the flesh, that was him. That’s exactly what he looked like. He wore light blue jeans that hugged his legs around his thighs. He had these really nice shirts on that were layered and I could just tell that they were not cheap, even though I knew nothing about brand names of clothing, whatsoever. It didn’t take a genius to recognize that he was the leader of the group. The other long haired boy was the very first person that I ever looked at in all my life and thought, “Wow. He’s… beautiful.” He honestly didn’t even look like a normal boy at all. He had a wonderfully slim figure & was the closest thing to being male with graceful & feminine qualities without looking like or being an actual girl. His hair blew and flew in the wind with such grace and fluidity, you would think that his head of light hazelnut hair, that went below his shoulders in the back, was made of actual water if you didn’t know any better. He had really nice cheeks and a pretty set of green, glassy eyes with a very strong looking eyebrow ridge that just made him look like an absolute supermodel. He glared at me and I just couldn’t stop staring at his unbelievable beauty. If someone told me that an angel lived on this Earth in secret… I’d think it was him. The third boy was very dark looking with pale light skin that was creamy and soft looking. His eyes were a piercing black with a deadly set of eyebrows that made him seem like a wild animal. He reminded me of a werewolf that was stuck in human form, waiting for the moonlight to touch his skin so that he could transform and finally be free and go out for his hunt in the middle of the night. His hair was cut short, about 1 inch in length, and was somewhat spiked in the front to give him this incredibly agile look that just completed who he was. He seemed like the kind of boy that would be extremely athletic, but, not in an overly muscular kind of way. No. He seemed like he would be the fastest boy in the entire school that nobody could mess with or catch. EVER. I never thought that I would say it, but, these were the most attractive boys that I had ever seen in real life up to that point. They, like many of the other kids in this school, looked like those types of movie stars you hardly ever get to meet in real life, at least to ME, anyway. They looked nothing like the people that I had grown to meet in my county back home. And, the truth was, I secretly admired them for that. I looked up to them for some reason in someway. I wanted to… be like them. I wanted to BECOME them. I wanted whatever it was that they had that I didn’t have. I wanted to be special, too. But, they made it all too obvious that I wasn’t special in any significant way or would ever have any hope to becoming anything close to what they were and that I should be ashamed of myself for even DARING to think that it would be remotely possible. They were on a pedestal and I… was underground. Seeing the way that they were looking up and down at me, as they examined my clothes and body, I felt stupid for the first time in my life; I felt worthless. I looked at their feet not wanting to continue making eye contact, because, it was like they saw right through me and saw all of my deepest darkest secrets, somehow. It was as if they made me realize how idiotic my life was without even saying anything. My heart started racing and I felt extremely nervous. Their clothes were perfect. Their faces were perfect. Their hairstyles, though varied, were very nice. And, the odd notion was that I was, strangely, entranced by them. And, that made the nervousness that I felt standing there in front of them all the worse as they examined and 'judged' me, carefully. I felt as if I was completely naked and they were peering my body to see and reveal every single embarrassment and flaw that I had hidden under my clothes that lived on my very own skin to reveal them all to the other kids that surrounded us. At that moment, I finally realized my place. I realized just how much power they had over me without even saying so much as a single word. They knew it and so did I; I was inferior. I remember my shoulders tensing themselves up as I felt all of their eyes on me & I dared; I dared to look the middle one straight in his eye. And, with his head lifting up slightly, all he did was look at me as a sly grin slowly creeped onto the corner of his mouth. And, from that moment on, I knew that this wouldn’t be the last time that I was going have them all in front of me like this, not by a long shot. I knew something was coming.
  11. Yay. Thank you. That means the world to me.
  12. 🍎13 year old William-Decker Irving is a country boy from the South. He was happy, free, innocent, and the son & heir to his family’s successful Apple Orchard business. The country life is all he ever knew. That’s all he ever was. But, when he is forced to move, up North, into a busy suburban town & attend public school for the very first time, being a homeschooled boy with little to no social skills or knowledge of the modern world, he faces new experiences, challenges, & meets people that he will never forget for the rest of his life.
  13. Chapter 1: Fallen Apples ~ Fallen Angels The name’s William, William-Decker. But, my momma calls me Billy. Growin’ up, out in the opened country, I wasn’t exactly your average boy; I was far from it, to say the very least. I had never actually been to a big city or a busy town in all my life. I sort of knew what they were like from movies that I saw here and there, sometimes, at the county drive-in theatre when we would make it a trip to go in mid-summer before July 4th, but, I had no idea or real clue what they were really like. I thought it’d be real neat to visit one, one day. But, I never did until the Summer of 2020. My family owned an Apple Orchard, a giant one, in fact; that’s how we made our livelihood; it was what we did. It was what we were known for; it was who we were. It was smack in the middle of the many fields and vast open farmland of Ellijay, Georgia in between the many grassy hills & valleys which barricaded our homeland. My daddy worked extremely hard to keep the family business intact & growing as far out into the state as he could possibly get it to grow. Our orchard was a family heirloom & had been in our family for 100 years. But, 3 years ago, my papa had a great opportunity, to begin selling our Orchard’s Apple Cider and specially crafted Apple Butters, which we had always sold within our county, on a much larger scale than what we ever had hoped or dreamed to achieve before. He decided to formally rename our family’s apple orchard and give it a logo with stickers that branded anything that we made & placed it onto each vessel, jar, and sealed container of our business. The brand name was Forbidden Fruit, after the story of Adam & Eve, with a beautiful sketch of a floating red Apple in the middle of vast green fields & animated sparkles surrounding the fruit that had one bite in it; the brand name represented our entire family, our orchard, all of our products, & anything & everything that we created. My daddy was always a very down to Earth, spiritual, humble, & sweet man. That’s why it was an honor for him to have that as his family’s Crest to represent us. Our business became extremely popular where we’re from. Before we knew it, we were selling vast amounts of products to our many customers who loved and purchased them. My daddy took the advice of some business advisors that he had many meetings with & kept using our earnings to buy more & more automatic equipment that helped us produce the products in a more efficient manor & in greater amounts. He recruited & hired more field workers in order to assist us with the overall maintenance, cultivation, & the production of our Orchard’s fields & goods. He made numerous amounts of deals with many businesses to have our family’s goods sold & shipped to all of the many stores and local farmer’s markets in the area & far out into the outskirts of our state. I’ve never been to any of those places, except only a few, but, he was extremely proud to have his products sold there & made it a point to consistently stress to us how we should all be very thankful every single living day for all that we had & what was given to us. We won two special awards over the last 4 years for the best selling and growing family farm goods business of our region. He and my momma were not only extremely proud of this accomplishment, but, took the overall responsibility of the business very seriously. Everything was done with purpose, finesse, and persistence to ensure the best quality possible was always achieved by us for anything & everything that we did. I was extremely proud of my papa for all that he did and for blooming his business as fast as he did from merely almost nothing to start off with when it came to marketing; he taught me everything that he knew & gave me large lessons in his study back at our old large wooden home about the family’s finances, the business, and everything that he felt that I needed to know. His reasoning for this, was that I would eventually become the sole owner of our business, the caretaker of the orchard, and the overseer of all that he had created when I took charge when he and my momma would pass away. As the oldest, I always made it a point to show him that I was willing to work as hard as I possibly could to make him and my family proud. Our orchard meant everything to us. It was a staple in our lives and also in much of our everyday cooking. We used mainly the best apples that we had cultivated only for the products that we sold, and for the visitors who paid for Apple picking to pick inside of our lands. My daddy’s reason for this was that only the best should be used for his customers & that is how you create a worthy reputation for yourself, a good name for your business, & establish overall trust from your customers and business colleagues; we only ever took average or less than average pickings for us to save and get creative with through, cooking, baking, and culinary creativity. I always loved to help my momma cook and bake whenever I could and learned many of her recipes and even made a few of my own. I helped my papa with everyday chores, orchard maintenance, business numbers, and even the simplest of things like fixing a pair of his shoes for him when he needed them maintained as a loving gesture from son to father. Our personal lives, by some, would be considered a dated life. We were a bit far behind in our own possessions and daily activities by a few decades. But, to us and me especially, it didn't matter, whatsoever. I had a simple life. I had everything that I ever could have possibly wanted because I saw no real reason to want anything else. I had nothing to compare myself to. I had a light weight load when it came to what was on my mind and what I was mentally preoccupied with. I didn't know or care about artificial things, titles, social statuses, or media. None of the matters concerned me in the slightest because it wouldn't have made me better or happier to have known about things that I wasn't around, anyway. I was happy with the little things. They were special to me and made me smile. Some of the simplest things had a certain magic that money just simply can’t buy. I guess you could say, my life was like the orchard breeze; it went where it went and didn't ask why or where. And, I liked that. That's what I was used to. That's all I knew. That’s who I was. I was innocent. If I ever peered into the longview mirror of my old & simple bedroom door, I saw looking back at me, an average looking 13 year old, chocolate brown haired boy with semi-tanned skin from constantly being outside in the sun with a set of grey eyes. I was pretty lanky in build with not much meat on my bones, but, I had a fairly defined abdomen & mid-section due to the hard work, labor, & excessive running that I was so accustomed to doing throughout my daily life. I did not care much about looks, but, on special occasions, I would apply some hair ointment into my hair and use a comb to slick my longer strands of hair in the front all to one side and partially over my face to keep it looking clean, in its place, & presentable. My momma would always say that I looked like her mini sharp “business man” and absolutely loved whenever I put it that way. Other than that, my dark locks were free to do whatever they wanted, especially, the long strands in the front that sometimes hid an eye or two of mine from the lack of a routine haircut here & there, not like it mattered to me or anything; it wasn’t like I cared. Why would I? Who was around for me to impress? I was a simple boy; a “good boy”, a sweet boy, my family would say. I never really asked for much or expected anyone to go out of their way for me unless I absolutely needed their help. I was my little brother’s caretaker when my momma was busy or needed me. Anytime he was sick, I would help nurse him back to health. Whenever he needed help taking a bath, I was always there to care for his needs. When he got hurt, I comforted him, bandaged him, and made sure he stayed safe during his healing process. He was the little cherubim of the house with a blonde mop of hair that shagged gracefully down over his forehead and whisped wildly in the wind and glowed, brightly, as the sunlight cascaded all around him whenever he played outside or was with me. It almost looked like he moved in slow motion from how innocent he looked, sometimes. Being only 7, I was his guide to the world, second to my parents, especially in his own eyes. I was free. I was happy. And, all that I was preoccupied with was what was around me at the time. I had no leash around my neck. I was tamed & wild all at the same time. Our orchard was pretty, beautiful, quiet, & peaceful. The sun would shine its light on our apples and the bright colored green leaves of our trees as the wind would swiftly blow through their branches, making the whole green field appear to be a vast green land of glistening rain, light, and magic dust. The fields were so clean. The air was so crisp. My nan would say, “There’s a mysterious magic in these woods.” The area was so pure, that you could close your eyes as you inhaled deeply and actually taste all the many apples that surrounded you from the breeze that whisped into your very own lungs. Many times, when my homeschooling with my momma was up for the day, I’d play in the field of trees with my Collie, Spartacus in nothing but a pair of high jean shorts and my bare feet and chase him around, taking turns, when he would chase me. He was my best friend. We got him years ago to watch over our land and make sure no pesky rabbits and animals would eat our fruit, hurt the trees, or damage the orchard in any manor. There was one animal, though, that we all taught him to be friendly with and never to chase away. It was a black kitty who I named Mee-mee. She would always wander around our house and eventually grew to know me. We didn’t know where she came from or why she was always there. My mother said it was a sign. But, when I looked her into her big green eyes, I felt, somewhat, hypnotized and I, somehow, knew that she had gotten lost and was separated from her family and needed me; I didn’t know how I knew that, but, I did. I took care of her whenever she came by and fed her treats and meals whenever she got hungry. She would rub her little furry body on my leg or ankle as I was standing and that was her way of telling me that she wanted something. She became my little friend that I would always give hugs and cuddles to whenever I needed some love or I felt she needed some. She was just so cute to me and was my version of a real life stuffed animal. My momma wouldn’t allow her in the house, though, as she said that she would damage all of our furniture and cause God only knows what other types of ruckus inside. One day, my papa had an idea. We had all been working so hard to keep the orchard’s fields blossoming, blooming, & fertile over the last few years and made major accomplishments in doing so; because of all of our well earned success, my papa decided that we should celebrate and go on our very first family vacation together with nobody left behind just outside the outskirts of the state in a lake house that we could rent; there, we could swim in the lake, fish, canoe, camp, BBQ, and whatever else we wanted as it was away from any village for miles and was very peaceful & quiet. He never did this before as he always took a sharp & watchful eye in forseeing our property and fields. He also said that next year, he would take us all on a trip in a plane which was the most exciting thing that I had ever heard him promise me. It was exciting and also scary for me, as I had never been on a plane before in all my life. I had never even seen an airport before or been to those types of places; the entire idea seemed so surreal, unreal, & like a foreign and forbidden dream to me. For this trip. however, he granted a hand full of his men to take turns checking in on the orchard every 3 days to ensure it was well kept, safe, and uninhabited by trespassers, both wild & human alike. Just outside the outskirts of our land, there was a large uninhabited field that was deemed infertile by farmers due to pollution from the past and difficult soil to work with which was not worth the time or money to have fixed in many eyes. This also meant, that people would sometimes cause trouble in those outskirts as that land was legally owned by no one. Some repeated offenders were a group of teenagers that liked to light fireworks and shoot them off as they drank, cheered, and played loud party music; this was something that they had been warned by my father, the sheriff, and many others to no longer do as it was illegal to shoot those fireworks in that location and was a disturbance to our family, our business, and many others’ property, nearby. This did not stop them from occasionally and sneakily visiting that area and repeating the offenses, however, which was a concern to my papa. We made extra preparations in our orchard to ensure that it was healthy and thriving while we were away and made sure all of the trees were ready for the upcoming harvest and picking season, Autumn. Being that this was the most important time of the year for our business and we were going on vacation, we did most of the work ahead of time. We left for our vacation in mid August and by the time we got back, it was September 2nd. On our way back we were still thriving on the high of all of the fun that the four of us had on our trip, especially Shannon, who had never fished before and caught 3 large fish all on his own. But, all of our joy and smiles were cut in seconds the moment we drove up to our land. My father stopped the car immediately, my mother gasped a shriek that I will never forget for the rest of my life, and my throat tied itself into a knot. An entire half of our house burnt away. And, that was only the preview of the nightmare of horror that was behind it. Running out of the car, my father, mother, and I ran to the back and stopped in our tracks at the sight. To my right, I saw my mother gasp and cover her mouth with her right hand as tears burned through her eyes, but, wouldn’t come out. She violently shook in horror and gave a look that she would have given if she saw 100 people being burned alive and shrieking in terror and agony right before her very eyes. The look I saw from her was, to this day, the scariest thing that I had ever seen in all my life. Looking at the vast lands that I used to love running and playing in with my dog and little brother in the sunlight that were once so full of color, light, life, & love, I now saw nothing but blackness & death. The entire land had changed into a vast wasteland of tree stumps, blackened branches that were broken and scattered all over the floor, ash, and suit. It looked as though Lucifer, himself, and all of his demons flew over our lands in the middle of the night and cursed our land with a black kiss of death, sucking away all of the life that it once had. It smelled like Mother Nature, herself, had a cavity and was breathing her rotten breath right into my nose and mouth from the stench of all of the rotting apples which were scattered all over the field. I plugged my nose with my shirt and lifted it so I couldn’t breath in the smell as much from how bad and toxic it’s odor reeked. As I took one extra step, I looked down at my foot noticing the rotten apple that I had accidentally just stepped on through my shoes as it’s insides squirted and bursted its brown & black flesh all over the ground around my toe; the pesky flies that had been feasting on its once fresh flesh whisped and scattered themselves from the sudden movement and some of them went directly to my face as I whisked my hand to try and keep them away from my eyes which they kept pecking on. I looked up at the tragedy seeing my father stare into nothing on the horizon of the land. I felt nothing at that moment. I was not sad, angry, or scared; just like the orchard, and those apples on the floor, I was dead on the inside. I felt nothing. I was hollow. I couldn’t breathe. And, every time I breathed I felt like someone else was in my body doing all of my own breathing for me without my permission, invading my privacy, and I wasn’t even there. Those same teenagers just so happened to set their fireworks off in that same field while we were gone in between the days where daddy’s caretakers he had hired of our orchard were check in and make sure everything was okay, safe, and tuning smoothly. A terrible accident occurred when they were, apparently, too drunk to realize that they had lit a firework to close to all of the other ones that they had, resulting in a giant explosion, setting off a bunch in scattered directions and killing three of them in the process. According to the sheriff, he estimated a good two to four fireworks aimed directly at our trees. It had not rained for weeks in our town, and this resulted in a massive fire that little to nobody saw until later that morning, being that it was dark and our home was so embedded deep inside of the fields of the state, isolated from society. My daddy did not bring his cellphone with him on our trip so as not to be disturbed, so he could not be told about the incident, despite, how many times he had been contacted. With only 20 good trees left, we had no choice anymore. We had to leave. My nan took us in, for those few weeks as my daddy tried to find a new orchard to buy as close as possible with all of the insurance money that he had been granted for our loss. All that he had built, all that we had tried our hardest to achieve, all that our family owned for 100 years and was known for, was all rotten & forgotten. My daddy could have gotten into a depression, he could have gotten angry, he could have hated the accident, but, instead he paid those three young men his respects as we all went to the funeral service for all of them and gave their families his condolences. My parents worked around the clock to locate a new spot for us to live as Autumn was near by. And, finally, they found one all the way up North in Morristown, New Jersey. Not only did my daddy have to buy a new orchard that was miles away from our home, limiting our daily access to it's grounds, especially, my momma, Shannon, and I, but it was only 2/3 as large as our old one, something that was financially a problem for our business given the circumstances that we were already facing with how to continue what we could and restart, from scratch, what we could not. Without my Nan’s southern loving hospitality, kind hearted sense of humor to cut the fat of all of the negative tension, wonderfully delicious house cooking, and calming sense of reassurance, there was no way we would have ever been able to mentally and emotionally survive that time period as we tried to overcome the tragedy that currently plagued my family. She watched over us and was the backbone to our family in every single way. Even though my mommy and daddy were adults, they weren’t; they were just big kids. SHE was the grownup that shielded us with her giant pearl colored wings as the guardian angel that protected and guided us all. “Don’t, you worry none, you lil’ trouble maker.” my nan said to me as she pinched my cheek and gave me the largest smile as we were packing up the car to leave. “Imma be right here when y’all get baaack, you visit this coming winter, and we’re gonna have the greatest and best Christmas we ain’t ever had before.” And giggled as she hugged me. I couldn’t help it; my eyes watered a bit as I finally told her about my little friend. “N-Naan, please.” I said in a shaky voice. “What is it? Why yu’ crying for? What’s wrong?” She said concerned. “The cat… you have to find mah friend. Please.” I said to her. “What cat? What yu talkin’ about?” She said utterly confused. “I have a friend whose mah lil’ kitty at the orchard. I don’t know where she’s at and we’ll be gone. She’s lookin’ for me. Please, find her. Please! You have to take her here and save her. She’ll be scared and she prolly’ hungry.” I said more worried about the little cat than I even was about our own new orchard. I couldn’t explain it, but, there was something about that cat that meant something. It was like a sign. She was my friend. She needed me. I loved her. “Don’t you worry none. I promise imma take perfect care of Spartacus while you gone and me and him are gonna go with your uncle Jeffery and we gonna find your lil friend. Ya here? Imma find her, Billy Irving. Imma find her if it near kills me.” She said holding onto my shoulders to reassure me. She was the only person that would have ever I trusted to take care of my dog. Sparty couldn’t come with us. It’d be cruel to cramp him in such a small area, and since he grew up in farmland, it’d be dangerous to have a collie in the city or a busy town, for him and possibly others. I knew I shouldn’t do that to him. I wouldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t do that to him. So, I did the hardest thing a person could do for someone when you love them, I let him go. “O-okay.” I said to her. “Thank you.” I gave her one last goodbye before Spartacus ran up to me and I kissed his forehead goodbye. He licked my lips with a kiss and I wasn’t sure if that was him telling me he loved me, too, But, in my mind, it was. We finally finished packing everything & eventually drove off into the horizon as I saw my nan waving at our car from behind as my brother and I waved back at her through the rear view window. There was no turning back at that point. I was heading into a large world that I would be visiting for the very first time.
  14. Angel Angels are everywhere. Didn’t you know? They are hidden in secret places you go. Like spies in disguise. They are wise with their eyes. They work around they clock. They are as solid as a rock. They are warriors and carriers of many barriers. They have shields and swords and grant many awards. They are responsible for helping those you need them. And in this page, those who read them. They fly up high into the sky. They are around on the ground. Do not as why. It is a secret. But, you will discover it. They know where you go. They know who you are. They are always near. And, never far.🌙
  15. Life The most important things in this world are things that you cannot see. The most interesting places you will ever visit are places you were meant to be. The most important things you will ever say will not always be planned for that day. The most important lesson that you will learn is to make the most of every day. Never regret or forget those that you have met before, Or, forget the hard work that you have done for each chore. You may experience clearance through perseverance, But, what matters most is, always, to have balance. You may never understand how greatly you have, in this world, to change your life, your own chance. You are always able to become better. Never forget this Spiritual Letter.✨
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