BDANR

I'm particularly moved by "Stripes" and the desire for freedom that is introduced at the end, creating an entirely new perspective on the poem. You're good at these unexpected turns and detours you take the reader on :P. Wednesday was written well, and you are good at immersing the reader in your story. I'm fond of the way you ended in this one as well, universes without bend and ocean without chart. Pretty and heavy :).

Thank you for sharing this piece with us. This took a great deal of courage.

Thank you so much, NOSkis :D!! This novel has been so much fun to create and I'm ecstatic to hear that you and others are enjoying it as well. It's a tough story to write and I was afraid that I may be moving a little slow with updates. It's good to hear that's not the case haha. Hopefully, I'll finish writing the next chapter soon. Thank you for reading! - Bryant

Passionate, yet tragic. No one should be on the receiving end of that kind of vitriol from a parent, especially not you. You're a beautiful and talented soul bud, and no one can take that away from you. Bryant

Lydia, you get *snaps*. I wanted to *snap* to each stanza. You told your truth, and you did so unapologetically and directly. Your fierceness is noted .

You combined your dialogue, action, and description well in this chapter. AND this was an exciting part of the story :P. Good job, sir .

Thank you jp! And you'll soon find out ;).

8 days before... I held Barken tight that night. Something told me that scent I detected near our home didn’t belong to anyone from around here. My mind wouldn’t sleep. My dagger was close by, an easy reach in case something dared to come near. The wind created a draft in our home. Every sound put me on edge. Eventually, my body would allow me to sleep. At dawn, I wandered around the outskirts of Orion admiring the dark teal horizon that was only beginning to see the sun.

I liked the flow of this piece and the way you describe the sub's relationship to the dom. Nicely done :)!

I'm already picturing this piece as if it was being told orally. The rhythm, the metaphors. I'm in love with the images you created for us. An engaging and powerful piece. Thank you for sharing, Lydia :D!

Thank you, jp !!

One year later... The stars stood above an ocean view through the window. Fireflies congregated near the porch lamp in the corner of the awning. The fireplace was on and Miles Davis was playing low in the background. Uncle Charles and Aunt Gladys invited Devan and Jade over to spend some time during the colder autumn months. What better time to cozy up with the family? And maybe a friend… “Mmm, my parents used to play some Miles Davis on our long car rides,” Jesse reminisced.

I would recommend! I didn't get into the first and second movies of Thor and never got into his storyline. Some friends randomly took me and though I was hesitant, I enjoyed it a lot! Story was well done, characters were interesting. If you can sit still for two and a half hours and stay awake in theater (I can't), I think you'll like it :).

@Cia: Thank you for this informative and helpful topic! I learned a great deal from this :). Sometimes you don't know when you're doing something that may turn off readers. This has offered me good guidance. @Narias1989: I'm the same. I'm pretty accepting and will give writers a chance to improve so I tend to look past a great deal. Spelling mistakes, mostly grammar, bother me far less than most. But there are a few things that will make me start skipping or stop reading a story: Dialogue: Admittedly, it's difficult to be good at it. Stilted dialogue was mentioned. Hearing how people talk to each other can improve this, noting body language and quirks. I enjoy authors who are good at describing human behavior and eliciting emotions without too many details. Which brings me to: Excess detail. Someone mentioned "stream of consciousness" narratives. Too much and monotonous information about someone's everyday life can be uninteresting. I fall into this trap as well. I prefer show over tell, though admittedly, telling sparingly works for me. Maybe I can add more to this when I'm not headed off to work !

This is beautiful. I found this courageous and heartwarming to share with us. May she rest in peace. Much love to you, Parker.

Idk if I could answer that ! I saw the movie yesterday!

I awoke peacefully under the afternoon light. The sun had a red hue. My skin sweated profusely under these heavy cloths, protection from the harsh cold that washes over the Soren Desert during sundown. One of the rocks beside me looked easy manageable to climb up on. Easier said than done. My body felt limp all over after a long sleep, my wounds were nagging me all over. And it had just occurred to me: I was alive. The shock hit me. Though it was hard to move, I removed my cloths and manage

The ending caught me off guard. Your imagery made me feel as though I was swimming the ocean. Thanks for this share !

I most definitely will, Sussins :)! Thank you for reading, Bryant

9 days earlier... The sun’s rose-red glow peered into our home. My body was heavy with heat and sweat, half covered by a heavy, russet brown cloth. Diego lied beside me with his arm over my chest, his tattoo of black flames traveling up to his shoulder. He slept, a low cooing leaving his moist lips every time he exhaled. He had a rather large flat nose, pointed ears pierced with small silver loops. His chest and black hair that always seemed to stand erect were damp with sweat. He was beaut

I can't attest to knowing what the feeling of hypomania is, but I've seen it enough to understand the difficulty that comes with going through an episode. You write that feeling and experience in a way for any and all of us to understand, which I think is powerful, and I have to commend you for your openness in sharing your experience. Thanks for this share :). - Bryant

This is a touching piece. I like the theme you used: being cared for even when you personally find yourself difficult to be cared for. I'll try to check out more of your writing. Thanks for sharing :).

The "drowning" and "cornered" feeling brought on by depression is very real and could spark hopelessness. This poem describes that well. The rhyme scheme you used seems difficult to pull off, yet you did so masterfully. Another good piece :D! - Bryant

Great imagery! Aaru's perspective of his circumstances is refreshing and realistic. Well done :).

Wow! This took my breath away. Stunning. It's so complex, the stories you tell in each stanza (can I call them stanzas?) It's like reading several stories at once, and you pull out a different emotion for each. And the way it all blended together. This is a poem that I will have to come back to. Thank you for taking me on that journey .