Objectivist

i have my gay bracelet, my gay card, my gay peace sign on my keys... occasionaly a pin... or a shirt or something...so it tends to be obvious. hahahaha! also... i let my actions speak up for themselves. hehe. so yeah. No need to explain... but sometimes they ask. and so i typically say yes. UNLESS I know the person is homophobic... in which case they tend not to ask... i weasel my way into their poor unsuspecting hearts and make them unhomophobic.... but my technique is neither perfect or confirmed by the American Association of whateverness James

I'd like to state that if I'm in the billions then.... I DO want you here. So that makes three. I don't like the idea of anyone committing suicide ... also im sure there are plenty of other people who don't know you... who DON'T want you dead... but you do what you have to do.... and I hope it doesn't result in suicide.

I'm sorry that you're depressed. I don't know your stand point on anti-depressants, but then what's it matter? You have to do what you feel is best for you. from my understanding, anti depressants work for some people, but not so much for others. You might decide to take em and dislike the effects they have on you. Its your personal choice. Personally, I don't like the idea of taking drugs to take me out of a deep deep abyss of depression. I find that I'd rather help myself, but some people, need other <peoples> <drugs> help in order to get through/over/help out... their depression. I hope you're able to find the help that you need be it by yourself with the aid of a psychologist, or anti-depressants, or with the love and support of your friends and family. Also just cause you're 21 years old doesn't mean that what you have gone through isn't any more or less painful then what some person walking on the street has gone through.... or that their experience is any more important than yours.... or what they have gone through is any worst or better than what you have gone through. Anyways goodluck with your depression. James

It sounds like you just might be the rock that your friends need, and your family need. Ya know? The one person with the level head, and that is stable... if only for this brief moment in time. You want to be there for them, the way that they (friends and family) are going to want to be there for you... when you end up not being as healthy, or as emotionally or physically stable as you are now. That's when your friends and family are going to be there for you, cause thats when you'll need them most. I hope you're able to remember where the pieces fit, and remember, youre part of the puzzle... maybe you're the piece that brings them all together? (IDK) James

I agree with kevin. heh. James.

Happy Birthday Ben :-]

huh. i was unaware that anyone feared pregnancy and penises and vaginas. That's a damn shame, cause they're all essential to our survival.

Goodluck! I'm sure things will pick up, sooner or later. James

I think my comment is longer than your entry. Sorry. >.<

I have been told several times by several different people that I'm different when its one on one, different when I'm online/phone, different in person, or in a group, or even in my blog. And I probably am, I probably act in a way that I feel my social environment asks me to. But I don't know, nor do I care, because I know that every time I'm in any one of those environments, I'm not trying to be something I'm not, I'm acting like myself. As for your public display of affection, I get you there too. When I was in high school dating Chey, I was NOT comfortable with the idea of holding his hand, or kissing (i hate seeing straight couples do it!), or saying ANYTHING nice, that would give anyone the impression that we're dating. He didn't have a problem with those things, in fact, I'm sure he even wanted to be seen kissing and holding another guys hand. Thankfully he respected my wishes, but so long as we both wanted two contrasting things, I think our relationship was doomed. I think you need to find someone who's either in the same position as you, or has been in the same position, or someone who will go at your pace. I presume you won't remain in the closet forever? It'll eat away at you, especially since I get the impression you've already tried to come out, if only a little. As for your work, what does your personal life have anything to do with your work life? So long as you are a good <insert career> what's it matter who you hold hands, cuddle with, kiss, make love with (or have sex)? That in no way shape or form affects your job (i hope). If you want to tell your peers, than I would seriously suggest you find one of your peers that you can trust that is open minded, tell them in confidence that you're gay. And trust me, having that ONE person know will make a great deal of difference. But you have to trust them to keep it to themselves, until you're ready to come out to others. It sounds like you work at a school of some sorts, and you want the fellow support of your peers (other teacher and even better superiors) because they'll make sure that your job isn't at stake. A former teacher of mine is an awesome teacher, and a lesbian, and she's certainly caused a lot of trouble (being the sponsor of GSA, and all of its events) but thankfully she has the support of her peers, some people in high places, and the high scores of her students on tests, proves that she's too valuable to give up. Just something to think of. As for "i love you"... My feelings take a long time to process, and for someone to tell me after three months that they love me. Well I can't really understand nor believe them. Because in my opinion it takes longer for love to develop. I have no desire to fall hard in love with someone within three months, and then a couple months later end up with a nasty break up. I've seen it happen SEVERAL times...so I personally want to take it nice and slow, before I go getting myself in trouble with three little words with lots of meaning. Anyways, I'll stop talking. Hahaha! James

Don't be discouraged, you actually have more say on the rent then you might think. There are plenty of landlords out there without a tenant, and they have to pay for the place out of their own pockets, you just need to find a place that is the right price, and the landlord is having trouble finding good tenants. Then you'll get a great deal. James PS don't settle on the first place you see.

I participated and organized Day of Silence my junior and senior year... My junior year, was when my friend S. decided she wanted to create a GSA (gay straight alliance) and with the help of another mutual friend they were able to accomplish it, but not until March... which took a while... and I got involved in the group, made friends with the creator of the group (S.) and... helped her organize Day of Silence... It was our first year organizing anything to this degree... and everyone within the club, (which was about 15-30 ppl) tried to get their friends and such to participate in the event. It was a fiasco... we had... very little time to properly organize the event... AND the Principal of the school kept pushing back his decision on whether or not to allow the event to happen. Eventually we got the green light from him (you generally want to work WITH the faculty of your school, and not against, to make everything run smoothly)... and we got as many people's names who wanted to participate in the event... that way... we'd be able to track them down and give them a rainbow ribbon and a few cards to use.... talking about day of silence. The whole point of Day of Silence (IMO) is to put yourself in the shoes of some LGBTQI individual..... who can't speak out against what's happening to them in school... Someone who can't tell their teacher, their counselor, their mom or dad, or police officer, principal that they're being harrassed, shoved up against lockers, kicked in the balls, slapped around, punched, tripped, raped (at times)... because no one will listen. So lets say you're in a class of 25 students... and 15 of those students participate in day of silence. that leaves 10 students to talk among themselves... and sure they'll talk... but things will get awkward after a while... because 15 of their classmates are not talking... and then things will get silent... because 15 students participating in Day of Silence aren't talking for the day, and because the other 10 are in an awkward situation... so what do you hear? Silence. Finally... people are listening. That's ideally what people would hope for... and believe it or not... silence drives people crazy... You can be quiet by yourself... but be quiet in a room of 25... and its very awkward, and it makes you want to speak out, JUST so that it wont be silent. Anyways... thats my opinion on the matter... The second year we did Day of Silence... we made sure to grab everyone's first and last name, that way... our Sponsor could send those names to every teacher, so that the teachers would know who's participating in the event... That way we could keep assholes from taking advantage of this of activism. We had over 200 people participate. Which IMO is quite awesome. Laterz James

haha... thats funny, hey you could possibly make lots of money becoming one of those recorded voices

i found out i gained ten pounds (which isn't as much as you) since the last time I weighed myself a few months ago... and the first thing I did was eat more. and I'm not good at staying on that whole exercise wagon. but ima try anyways... cause I gotta look all buff for summer hahaha... its one am. and im awake, and IDK why I'm writing this. have a good weekend James

make an autobiography?

wow thats a lot in just so little... tell me ... how do you do it?

Thank you guys/gals for wishing me a Happy Birthday. I appreciate it. James

aww davey i hope you this new place is good to you.

you didnt spell check your title........ but i wont hold you to that. James

If a kid were to say "f**k" because he or she over heard the word and said it... then it would be said innocently... because the kid doesn't know the meaning of the word. However, as the kid gets over and learns the meaning of the word.. then it becomes clear why the word is vulgar.... and why it shouldn't be said. The difference between a kid saying "that's so gay" and an adult saying it... is that an adult should know better. You (not you, you... you get it right? haha) may not mean any harm by saying "that's so gay" .... that however does not mean that it doesnt cause any harm. by saying something is "so gay" in a negative tone... gives off the idea that being gay is bad thing... and comments like that are comments that keep homophobia in tact. you (once again not you per se) think that a little thing like "that's so gay" wouldn't cause much harm... but it does... when millions of people say it... ya know? it may be a small thing... but small things can become pretty big. I definitely don't like the use of "that's so gay" I don't approve of it one bit. and I make it a point to point it out to my friends... however, i don't force my opinions on them. which is quite unchristian of me (kidding... sort of) But thats what i think. James

if i were you..... id follow this friend if there was nothing holding me down. im sure youre friend didnt mind. but dont tell your friend i suggested this... James

GOODLUCK!!

wow that was really quite entertaining... and kinda freaky that your sis was asking you that

clearly you've never seen desperate housewives. James

Haha. You weren't kidding about it being real short. But it was quick, sweet and enjoyable. Can't wait till your next story. James