Jdonley75

Full disclosure: I have not read the previous sections of this series. That aside, this story is able to stand alone on its own merits. The author did a wonderful job expressing all of the individual characters' motivations and kept just enough back to keep you invested in wanting to read the next chapter. While maintaining continuity with his previous works, his ability to insert the past into the present made it easy to identify and learn about the shared past of all the characters. It is a wonderful and remarkable story on how, even in the darkest hour, there is always hope that there will be a better day coming. And in that, the author kept Dustin's plight realistic as to how far he has to fall before he finds the faith in himself and in his friends to rise up. A wonderful tale and while the author may be done with this series, I hope he has other stories in mind for the future.

This was a great read and had a good solid ending. I could say more here, but I think I'll put my efforts to better use elsewhere.

Healing takes time. It's never as easy as they want to make it look on TV or in the movies. There are no easy fixes for what you're going through but from what you've written I get the sense that you are improving more than you would allow yourself to believe. I've been in a similar circumstance and I remember crying for a full year over my heartbreak. It's almost embarrassing to me that I spent that long reliving it all over and over. It took me even longer to find my own self-worth again. But, I have no friends who cared enough to want to help me other than telling me I just needed to, "get over it." I can't blame them since they never saw what it was he was doing to me. Emotional abuse doesn't leave bruises or scars for the world to see, you know. And, yeah, I can smile about it all now. Because I found my way out of that hole and I am happier now than I ever have been in my life. You will find your way back to happiness and you'll end up smiling again and not just to hide the tears you're holding inside. Give yourself a hug and remind yourself that winter doesn't last forever.

No worries. One of the wonders of sharing thoughts and ideas on an international website is that no two people are ever going to see a subject from the same viewpoint. It's important to give yourself over to the concept of looking at the world in other peoples' eyes and see things from their perspective. Not unlike how while writing a story can make us look at a subject with an entirely different perspective outside of our own for the sake of one of our characters. I feel it's the only way we can truly grow as people and learn to appreciate those who are different from ourselves. I don't think you're entirely wrong about the movie. I agree there should have been more... oh, I dunno... gay people in some of the roles. Gee, what an amazing concept, huh?? I also think Hollywood doesn't help us that much from time to time. Actually, most of the time. They're fine with making money off of LGBT consumers and their lives as turned into art. However, employing them in front of the camera seems to be as much of a problem now as it was in the 50's and 60's.

I saw Brokeback Mountain twice in the theater and I own the DVD as well as a book that contains the short story it's based on and the screenplay in it. I've only ever watched the DVD once so I've only watched it three times. I recall leaving the movie theater the first time feeling emotionally dragged. I had no idea what to expect so the ending really threw me and it bothered me for days. That aside, the thing I remember most about that time when the movie was out was the website they had. On there, thousands of men and women all shared their stories that were similar to Jack and Ennis. They were heart-wrenching stories of love, loss and grief. I used to read them when I worked third shift by myself. They were real people who finally found the courage to share their stories because someone decided to bring that short story into the mainstream and shine a bright light on an age where being gay in rural America wasn't just scorned, it could cost you your life. I'm just a year older than Matthew Shepard and I remember very well what happens to LGBT people outside of the comfy confines of The Castro, West Hollywood, Greenwich Village or Capitol Hill. I myself live in a relatively small town (100,000 and falling) in a very conservative part of a "blue state." It's not easy out here because there's still many people who just go with the typical stereotypes they've been accustomed to over the years about who gay people are. But it is easier than it used to be. I'll never forget being in a restaurant late at night with a couple young friends and the people in the booth directly behind me started loudly talking about how they think all gay people should just be killed. I feel the movie, while imperfect, showed straight America what's been a mostly positive thing for those in the rural parts of the country. But that's just my opinion, looking at things from my own angle.

That was probably the best thing I've read in a very long time. From start to finish this chapter kept my attention. I'm looking forward to how this ends.

What will be will be, dear. Remember what you said the other day about just letting the fear go through you instead of fighting it? Don't be afraid and ignore all the lies your fears try to whisper in your ears.

See? I've been paying attention.

One of the smartest things I ever did for my own well being was to just stop trying to control everything. And most certainly stop worrying about the things I have no control over. Just take care of me and whatever happens happens.

Panic attacks are the hardest times to defend yourself from Fear. But allowing yourself to acknowledge it and let it go instead of clinging to it like it wants you to is the greatest show of inner strength you can exhibit. For some reason, this brought to mind the end of the movie "Labyrinth" where she faces the Goblin King and with one sentence, undoes all his magic. "You have no power over me." That's what undoes your fears. To know that they only have power over you if you let them. It's a lot easier to say than to do, I know. I've had slow burning panic attacks that have lasted days and made me a yelling screaming maniac in the past. I've had overwhelming attacks that left me feeling paralyzed for no reason other than I allowed it to. That you're starting to understand that and really take it to heart means you are healing. And that's always a good thing. May the gods keep you safe.

I agree. Though, he still has the gun and I'm not comfortable with that.

.... Ok. the ride stopped right? It's okay to get out? *whew*

I understand part of what you're going through. I've been in a similar situation in my past. I survived and so can you.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and jump on this bandwagon and say that while you might not have a sequel in mind, I along with everyone else would not mind at all if there was one. Reading it a second time (yes, I already read it twice) these are really good characters and I would love to see where Dave and Tor's story goes.

Wow. One of the best stories I've read in a long time. You had me hooked from the very beginning.

So... what you're saying is... she left an impression on you that's lasted for years. I swear. I'm not laughing... 😜

I have a lot of regrets. One really big one. Had I known how abusive he was (emotionally more than physically) I would have never met him after work for coffee and playing cards. It was my biggest mistake to get involved with him. Had it not been for him, I know my life would have been a lot better. I know a lot of people say that all the events of your past make you the person you are today but with him, there was no good found there. I would be a much happier and more trusting person if I had never met him.

*googles* Oh... well... there we are then.

Writing out some of our feelings on the page help us to acknowledge them and ultimately deal with them. You did a good job expressing yourself. I'm looking forward to your next outing.

Thanks. Nearly sprayed soda all over my screen when I read that last part. 👍

When he did my phoenix tattoo (my first one) It was fine and it was really more like really sharp pinches until he got to my back shoulder for one of the wings. That hurt like a #$^%@.

Oh, that's right. Pain. I forgot about that part. What worked for me was watching him do the work. I got so fascinated by the process that I forgot about the pain. But, I'm weird like that.

My first story had a title I can't even remember now. And I rewrote the blurb as many times as I did rewrites on the main story just to make sure I kept it interesting enough to get someone to open chapter 1. I think I wrote up the blurb maybe halfway through writing the story to but I can't be sure. But, yeah, spot on as ever about how important they can be.

One phoenix and one dragon. Still thinking about getting more.