Talo Segura

It's a good storyline, a little rough around the edges, it could do with a little polishing (how many times does he say I wouldn't let any child of mine grow up in a foster home?). The summary doesn't do the story any favours, I'd write something more gripping and less mundane (almost put me off reading it). Still it will be interesting to see how things develop.

Presumptions. Sally, unless she was joking at the end there, ‘Jesus, Scott, you sure move fast,’ she said, with a wicked grin.' and Justin himself tells Scott, '... Mostly they have already judged me or have some preconceived idea that I was nothing but trouble, even before they had met me.’ People tend to catologue what they see and decide what they will do or how they will treat someone, without ever really knowing the person. But, it is hard to know someone and hard to let someone know you.

Perfectly sums up the chapter and the excellent writing by the author. There is a wistful melancholy floating in with the wet spray and a sadness in the air which is accentuated by the disvovery that the boy whose life was saved nearly took his own life. The way all this is casually revealed, the lightness of the revelation belying the gravity of the situation. I have a feeling of foreboding, that this juncture, this reconnection with the past, is a kind of last chance, a desperation of sorts, a cry for help!

This raises a very pertinent point, where you (or anyone) lives, country or city, Australia, America, or Europe, do you feel accepted or do you suffer insults as a gay person? In the last decade attitudes have changed enormously, but it appears, not everywhere. I live in rural France, the biggest town of 20k population is 25 minutes drive, I feel safe, accepted, and don't experience homophobic slurs or any animosity. Never would the experience Mark describes above happen. But then, I live in a country where men kiss their close male friends when they greet them and things these days are kind of cool. Sure there are still those anti-gay folk, religious or otherwise, but they mostly keep quiet. Gay marriage was the death knell for the homophobes and homosexual slurs are not tolerated in my country. What the government and law actual says is: The law specifically punishes insults, defamation, violence and discrimination, when they are based on the real or perceived sexual orientation of the victim. We are talking about homophobic abuse, defamation, violence and discrimination. If you are a victim or witness to these events, you can alert the emergency services and report the events. If you are a victim, you can file a complaint. I would be interested to know what other people's experiences are where they live and if their rights are protected.

I didn't simply make a bold claim without first researching on the net. What I found was the use of poofter to describe gay men was current in the 70s in Britain and elsewhere, but it's usage now days in Australia is largely confined to the older generation, over fifties. Someone wrote (Australian) my grandfather uses the word. I'm not going searching again for all the references, the author has stated the story is set at the turn of the century. There is an interesting article about the evolving language of gay men here, if anyone is interested: https://www.swinburne.edu.au/news/2017/03/the-evolving-language-of-gay-men/ Is my profile pic the Blue Boat shed on the Swan in Perth? Well spotted! Yes it is... The Crawley Edge Boatshed, commonly referred to as the Blue Boat House, is a boathouse located on the Swan River at Crawley in Perth, Western Australia. A well known landmark, the boatshed was built in the 1930s, and since the 1940s has been owned mainly by the Nattrass family. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crawley_Edge_Boatshed It's a beautiful, enigmatic picture, which inspired me to use as my profile several years ago.

That's a weird reply, like you're defending the story and showing a blind guy how to see! Obviously Matt is being sold along with the others on the ship. As for Andrew not working for three years, well he probably doesn't need to work, he owns an island and it seems he's rolling in money, at least that's my impression from what I've read. Dante seeking redemption @Mikiesboy has giving his take on that. Like his namesake in the Inferno he has been through Hell, where men have yielded to bestial appetites and violence, perverting their human intellect to fraud or malice against their fellowmen, and he will end in purgatory before making it to Heaven. When raising my questions it is pure speculation about characters and plot, I am more than happy to wait for the story to unfold, I'm not seeking answers, those lie in the story. Thank you.

The use of the word poofter as a derogatory term for being gay is dated. It was in use in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand, in the 70s, it's not used today, unless I'm mistaken, and was never used in the US where they preferred faggot. So this Australian story is set in the 70s, I guess?

Why are readers suggesting Andrew will end up buying Matt? The only support for that conclusion is him being rich enough, he bought his own Scottish island eleven years ago. A more important question is why is Andrew writing a book about the sex trade, other than wanting to make more money, perhaps he's bored isolated on his wind swept hideaway? Why is Dante confiding in Matt? Is he in need of a confessional? There are more questions than answers and any clues as to what happens next, appart from the ship docking somewhere, are non-existent.

“My brother-in-law is an attorney. He’s representing me.” Is that a good idea? Her husband's brother, the other side of the family, blood is thicker than water and all that. I think I might have chosen a different attorney.

The missing piece of the beginning of this story is why would anyone in a gang of human traffickers have anything to do with Andrew MacCabe? How would he make contact and where is the way in?

I love the descriptive narrative, the dream sliding away like sand through fingers.

It's not the usual type of story I would read (judging from the summary), but I did anyway, because one ought not to presume without reading. The opening paragraph captured me and then the first chapter. This is good writing and now I'm hooked on discovering what happens. I think you successfully painted a picture of Ghil and we are immediately drawn to him and sympathising with his situation.

This story is different. Written in ten short chapters it is very easy to read and from the start draws you in. We follow the relationship of our protagonist as he describes what happens to him and how he is dealing with his emotions. The introspection gives a deep insight into the main character as we live with him a voyage of self discovery. Short chapters are unusual, however, here they fit the story well. A lot happens in a short space of time and the book is very well written with some wonderful description. I think I could best sum it up as I did with my comment at the last chapter. It was like a very good European movie, the ending was not what you would expect, but superb anyway. Like all good movies and stories it leaves you feeling fulfilled, satisfied, on an emotional high. It's as if the characters and their story is not just fiction, but real. And the final chapter was superb in its descriptions: We were sitting at a knee-high wall in the backyard of the motel, barely covered by the porch roof, while raindrops were falling from the summer night’s sky. ... looking into the pitch-black night outside the range of the Chinese lantern hanging over our heads. Really, really, well done! This book will surprise you. It may not be what you expect, but it is above all else a story well written and one which deserves the little time it takes to read. I, for one, was not disappointed and recommend you take a look.

You never know what people are coming here to read. Myself, I'm looking for those less than abundant works of literary merit. Those well written stories that stand out from the mass. Stories which grab you with the writing quality, the characters, plot and emotions. Great stories. This was one of those stories.

I suppose you are right. You wouldn't know each other at all.

That's fine, I was only curious. It all makes sense and I never went to university either!

It was like a very good European movie, the ending was not what you would expect, but superb anyway because like all good movies and stories it leaves you feeling fulfilled, satisfied, on an emotional high, as if the characters and their story is not just fiction, but real. Excellent! And the final chapter was superb in its descriptions: We were sitting at a knee-high wall in the backyard of the motel, barely covered by the porch roof, while raindrops were falling from the summer night’s sky. ... looking into the pitch-black night outside the range of the Chinese lantern hanging over our heads. Really, really, well done!

Well that was mind blowing. When people get together and have sex it's also a way of trusting. If you can trust your body with someone you can trust that someone and overcome your fears. In theory, in reality it's not so easy to trust and be honest and much more easy to pretend. Depth of relationship grows with time, with shared experiences, with shared confidences. Seems these two got a lucky break in sharing and discovery very early on.

If our protagonist is pretending to enjoy sex with Rhys, "There, I said it. Pretended." That doesn't bode well for their relationship.

I'd like to know what town, city, this is or is based on?

It's always nice above the clouds But me, if I were a bird, I would dance in the storm I would pass through the clouds like light does I would listen to the symphony of lightning in the rain From his earliest childhood She didn't know how to speak otherwise That by shouting softly, not for lack of trying To hold them back, these cries and these tears Who made them so- It's always nice above the clouds But me, if I were a bird, I would dance in the storm I would pass through the clouds like light does I would listen to the symphony of lightning in the rain Growing up, nothing calmed down Little storm found itself Reasons to rain so much Who could love it, honestly? No one would like to find themselves In the heart of a storm, confess There are reasons to cry She has her reasons, but It's always nice above the clouds But me, if I were a bird, I would dance in the storm I would pass through the clouds like light does I would listen to the symphony of lightning in the rain, hmm When the storm knew That melodies could escape from the wind And find yourself in people's hearts She said to herself "No reason to envy the sun I will make people dance to the rhythm of my tears The torment of my songs will warm hearts Warm my heart" It's always nice above the clouds But I am one of those birds that make us dance in the storm I would go through all the clouds to find the light Singing in the rain the symphony of lightning

Don't diss poor Charles, the military dancing is the British version of US country line dancing only with uniforms and of course, more formal... 41 guns!

You've written so many short stories I thought I ought to read one. Just yesterday I was reading a review posted by Krista which Hardianarcher had asked for https://gayauthors.org/forums/topic/48714-could-you-please-review-my-story-i-gain-nothing-from-it-its-free/?do=findComment&comment=1174931 At the same time I read another comment/reply about telling versus showing. Now you tell a great story, but what about if you considered showing us how everything unrolled? Showing would put us right there in the apartment, the karaoke bar and park with Ralph, Frank and the dogs. Just a thought. Keep up the great work!

Payment, paying it back, support, sharing: these are the words, phrases, that come to mind. It is a shame you have to be a site member to hit like, unlike on YouTube where you can like and follow more or less anonymously. If you are a member and read a story then a like or whatever response costs you nothing more than a click. The story you have read has cost the author (and sometimes an editorial team) hours and hours of work. Okay, it's their choice, but really if you want to read free stories, a tiny little click costs you nothing and supports the author continuing to post.

I received an email notification that a new chapter had been published to a story I follow: Mikiesboy posted chapter 1 to a story you follow titled W-A-R. The notification got sent because some years ago I followed a story with same name, W.A.R by Jeff Wilson - Jkwsquirrel. The bug: the notification system was confused by using the same story title even if the new story uses W-A-R and the original story uses W.A.R There is no second criteria for notifications by email so the system does not look to see if there are other stories with the same name and dashes and dots do not make any difference. It is worth noting book titles cannot be copyrighted and different authors may use the same title. The only exception is where a title has spin off films and merchandising and has been trademarked, think Harry Potter, Star Wars.