Talo Segura

Excellent book and very enjoyable to read. Totally captivating and even with the often odd English and the formatting it is a long way ahead of most stories.

Joaquin Rodrigo composed this concerto during the Franco regime in 1939 shortly before the second world war.

I came to this story via a recommendation by a friend and the first two chapters introduce a promising book. I saw that you @rec wrote only two books and this story was published some seven years ago, but you are still around to read comments - even if you must be very old by now

I read this all in one go, the last seven chapters. There are three themes going on here: the band, Owen's relationships (Alex and Ryan), the supernatural. The first theme is a successfully growing band which now incorporates Alex. The second is a bit more complicated with Ryan, and the third... I have no idea! For myself, what happens next and how this all ties together, gets explained (at least in part, enough to make sense), is critical to the story. On the style front, my favourite chapters are those where Owen, the story narrator, jokes with the reader, because it's him chatting direct to you, the reader. Makes a fiction seem almost like a reality, as if you were there talking and listening to the boy tell his story.

Murder mystery is a unique genre which thinking about it, you should probably write it backwards. It's logical really and easier to start with the end. Search - how to write a good murder mystery - and you get loads of tips and advice, including starting with the end. To answer your specific point about ESP, I found this: One method which can help you to avoid a revelatory ending is having your detective arrive at the answer through logic accessible to the reader. The Detection Club, a 1930s group made up of prominent British mystery writers such as Agatha Christie and G.K. Chesterton, codified this in their oath: What this means is that the detective should arrive at the mystery’s solution through a process that feels accessible to the reader. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have a clairvoyant detective interrogate ghosts, just that the reader needs to hear everything the spirits have to say. https://www.standoutbooks.com/essentials-writing-murder-mystery/ if you want to know more.

The bloopers and outtakes. “You’re cute when you get all nervous?” He gave me a serious look. “You think I’m cute?” I grinned and said, “Yes. I think you’re cute.” Everybody anyone falls for or wants, is... well, cute! He looked up into my face and asked, “A penny for your thoughts?” Finally, I broke the silence. “What brings you here?” Do teenagers really speak like this or is the author showing his age? Coach Warren blew his whistle and they guys rose from the bleacher and Tracy come home earlier, He smiled and patted my on my leg cast. When he blew the whistle for them to stop, all the players had a chance on the court. ...you wouldn’t probably not expect him to be. Yep, as we near the end, the typos come thick and fast, until they aren't probably what you wouldn't expect them to be. Got it? Hey folks, I'm not being overly critical here, but you can't help noticing this stuff if your paying attention to what you're reading - you're paying attention to what you're reading? I know the reply: I did it all myself without the help of an editor. Well, it happens to us all. The best advice I've seen for one man shows, is put it aside and re-read it a week later.

This is a book which takes the reader on a long journey following the trials and tribulations of a group of high school kids coming out and coming to terms with being gay. The catalyst and star for all this is Tracy, the boy next door who happens to be learning ballet. His dance moves will have an effect not just on Jack, our protagonist, but all the boys and more, including the basketball team. The story is full of teenage angst, ups and down, and sexual encounters, first time experiences and the almost inevitable parent and school problems. The tale is told by Jack and focuses tightly on him and his eventual small group of gay friends. There are a few well known tropes along the way, including some pretty dramatic events with the best friend. In fact, apart from Tracy and Jeff who are out, the others are all surprising revelations. And speaking of revelations, there is the bad parent not coming to terms with her son being gay. Another familiar theme that gets played out. I wouldn't criticise the story for its use of common themes, nor that all Jack's friends are gay. It is gay romantic fiction after all, and you need to suspend belief a little. What I would highlight is that there is no stronger storyline than gay boy makes good and we all live happily ever after. Sure, it toys with the dilemma of being too young for a one to one relationship and preferring lots of sex with different partners. But whilst it raises the question it only answers it in a superficial way, which is essentially telling us sex is different and more meaningful when the right person comes along. The book starts as a dramatic coming out story, then somewhat rambles along through many various relationships and parents coming to terms with everything. It draws to an end with a recognition of Tracy and what he has brought to the show, but whilst it's a nice one liner, I'm not sure how much Tracy had a bearing on our hero falling in love. It would seem Tracy changed how a large number of people thought about gay boys in the high school, but he was hardly a role model for more than dancing naked and free love. Still, we ought not to underestimate the power of both those things. I had the feeling, on reaching the end, that the author had simply decided to wind it up there. For me, there was no real conclusion. The last few chapters led up to the final one, but they seemed a little lackadaisical and contained a number of overlooked text errors. Okay, you can read through the typos and lack of editing, but somehow it seems to indicate a fade out, rather than purposeful ending. Enough of the criticism, it is an enjoyable read that will keep you entertained, offer up a few surprises and mention a few pointers about young teenage gay relationships. Just don't expect any profound insights and read it at face value, a nice easy read.

That was a nice ending with the scene between Jeff and Simon. I think it is a pretty good achievement for a first finished novel. I know all about half finished stories, I think a lot of authors have those and half started projects, lying around. It's good you completed this story, unfortunately, so many writers start and give up, or start, and start, and start. Ideas and beginnings are not so difficult as middles and ends. Writing is a lonely occupation, just yourself, your characters, and a story plot. I often think it's a subtle form of psychosis and wonder if I'm not going mad having all these voices in my head! Anyhow, well done, an enjoyable read.

Nice beginning, you've really got your own unique style and that's good. I actually like your style; kind of open, brash, British, and out there.

The story is great and the writing is excellent. I am totally engrossed in reading the tale you are telling. The style is wonderful, with an almost languid melancholic atmosphere reflected by the slow, lingering pace, which is simply exquisite. "My heartbeat increased. In my mind I’d already said yes ten times over." Wow, yes, I'm there with the two of them, so real. Then you have those wonderful descriptions: "We held each other’s gazes. The sun was nearly gone, what remained of it hidden beneath rows of high-rise buildings across the street, receding rays reflecting off repeating sets of windows. In the dim light his skin shone like molten gold. I could feel my heart trying to jump out of my chest." The juxtaposition between Valentín and what happened with Noah, going back in time at the end there, adds to building a complete picture, filling in the blanks slowly. It's terribly engaging, and I savour every chapter. It's also full of truths, like should he keep his relationship with Noah or, as he says, leave it as a memory in the past. I can relate to that, I've experienced the same, so I know it's real life we're talking about.

I can only echo @KayDeeMac

Okay, so I gave it four stars, not because of anything huge, simply there is always room for improvement. The telling of the tale was engrossing and intriguing, it was also quite sensual and a little erotic. The story, I felt had a very Italian flavour, which I loved, because it stands out as different. When you take into account that English is not the author's first language, it's pretty amazing, and he should be commended for the effort involved. I do sincerely hope that readers will encourage foreign writers on this site, because they have a whole lot more to offer than simply their stories, they offer another perspective on life from a different point of view. Just like travel, it broadens the mind.

I thought this story was very well conceived and implement, an enjoyable and engrossing tale, set in a different environment to the usual stories which added a touch of magic in itself.

Okay, so I guessed sonething was going on with Valentín. I think that you have really captured the upheaval of moving to a new school, in a new country, with a different culture and language. I simply loved reading about life in Agentina, it is a great story set in a part of the world I know little about, which makes it stand out. Interesting and different, although we can all share the trials and tribulations of being a young gay adult. Great writting.

Words like violence Break the silence Come crashing in Into my little world Painful to me Pierce right through me Can't you understand? Me too, I don't believe drama gets more real than this. Idk, I think given the ages it's pretty realistic, even works for older guys 😉 I find it realistically refreshing not to have all the going on a date stuff that comes with every American teenage romance, but maybe that's because it was much more like this story for me, so I can easily relate to it. I'll definitely be careful when asking for ice cream in Poland 😂 If you end it here, that's fine, why not? I loved it btw 👍👍👍

Another good chapter as things develop on this school trip. I had to look up pierogi, but sounds like a delicious meal, very eastern Europe, very Polish. The little descriptions you throw in are perfect, reminds me of a school trip when I was fourteen, there were the "cool" guys and the nerds, only the cool guys weren't really that cool, they just thought they were.

I like that, knowing what really happened. But back to the story, it was another great chapter, this is my favourite, number one story of the moment. Why? Because it's real drama, it's fiction that reads like real life. Dennis and Damien in the dark discovering things. Dennis may have proposed this to, as he said help Damien get over his shyness, but I don't think Dennis is quite as strong as he makes out. Probably in 99 out of 100 stories similar to this the two boys would have kissed, as someone said they were kind of expecting. But that is why it's my favourite and real, because they didn't. They aren't at that place yet. Maybe it might work out differently today, times change, But this story is a little back in the past, and then it was exactly how you described it. Gentle, tentative moves, without really knowing what they were doing, fear and excitement all rolled together. Great, really great chapter.

To kick off, it's a great story and all the better for being written by a Polish guy. Before I even looked at your profile I read chapter one and about the trip to summer camp in the south of Poland. You'd already said in the intro that there was sometimes odd sentence structure. Anyway, I said to myself, this guy is Polish, and you are. So why am I saying all this, because it makes it so real. I don't know how much is based on personal experience, but it simply reads like you are inside the head of this shy boy Damien. That is super hard to do and you've done it really well. Now add in the couple of brilliant descriptions you dropped into the narrative: "...but also a sort of attention whore." I love that, "an attention whore", so captures the guy's personality, in just two words. Then you wrote: "Dennis was still smiling with his cute face. He came a little closer, handing me the console. “Here, want to play with it?” It took me a little while to realize he wasn’t talking about his dick..." Another brilliantly casual piece of writing. So what I want to say is you are a real author and I wouldn't give much thought to the few little odd use of words. Okay, if you got an editor, some things here and there could be changed, but if you did that, please don't loose the authentic feel of a story narrated by a shy Polish boy. I for one, want to discover all about teenage life in post communist Poland, what it was like being a gay boy in 1998. This is absolutely refreshing as a story and I can't wait to read the rest.

Trailer with English subs...

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt10457128/

Ubisoft have been condemned for a toxic business environment and sexual harassment of women staff. The pressure , stress, and terrible working situation, have forced big changes in the French company, including the resignation of the number two.

A lot happened in one chapter, catching his friend having sex, doing a disappearing act, getting the news about his dad, then his dad dies, and all the repercussions. This is like an abridged story, you got the plot and storyline all condensed.

I've been thinking about this a lot and @unilive was right when he pointed out the story could be improved by a beta reader and or editor. I already sent you my comments that echoed his. There are two aspects to commenting on chapters, discussing the story and discussing the writing. Almost every comment on every story is about the story, its plot, the characters, what might happen. That is a nice conversation between readers and author and with this story everyone, including myself, have said it has potential and is promising. The other side of comments is to constructively point out improvements to writing. I wouldn't bother too much about grammar it seems fine to me, but style by contrast has room for improvement. I still think it's rushed and lacks description, it is narrated by TJ, the protanganist, but we don't really get inside his head, we don't get close to him and his emotions. For example, you wrote: "Beau and Grayson both arrived home around 3 pm. We all go to the same school, Beau is a junior and Grayson is a freshman. They both wanted to hear all about NYC and if I saw anyone famous." You missed an opportunity for some interaction between TJ and his brothers, something which could have brought the reader more into the family, before the famous grandparents arrived. My one main thought is slow down a little and reflect, it's a good story, you could make it better. I hope that readers who like this story a lot will not squash comments which address the writing. How else can you improve, you need to know what readers honestly think about style, not just about the story content.

Just completed first book of a series, which I highly recommend as classic well written Sci-fi. Great plot, great characters, good descriptions, and full of tension... Brilliant!

Every once in a while you stumble across a great book and a brilliant author. Sometimes, by accident, as in this case. It has been some time since I read Sci-fi, but right from the start I was drawn into this intriguing story. The characters grab a hold of you, the storyline leads you on, and the tension and action are as gripping as any Hollywood blockbuster. Our hero, or should that be, anti-hero, Danni, becomes an unintentional terrorist when he discovers some family truths about the most powerful family on Earth, his family. The price he will pay is exile to the cold wasteland of a prison planet somewhere in the far reaches of space. As if that in itself were not punishment enough he has other terrors which he must face. Danni has his own inner turmoil, he has a unique ability, which is a benefit, but also a curse. We slowly learn through some flashbacks to his life on Earth, what went wrong and how he ended up exiled. We also stand at his side as the nail biting tension mounts with an important unimaginable discovery on this frozen planet. A discovery that threatens not just Danni, but the whole of humanity, because it could change everything. The story is excellent, the pacing is sublime, keeping you reading, keeping you attached to the characters, keeping you on the edge of your seat with tension. It packs a powerful punch and a turmoil of emotions. The descriptions are superb and conjure up the whole scene in your head, it's so well done that you live the story. I honestly couldn't wait for each new chapter and couldn't put it down when reading. Do yourself a huge favour if you are into Sci-fi and read this first book. And even if you are not such a fan of the genre, or like me haven't read any Sci fi in a while, pick this up, because it's a classic. It could be the book of the next Hollywood blockbuster movie, which would be a first, a Sci-fi movie with a gay theme. Read it please, you won't be disappointed, I'm certain.