Razor

Hahaha, I seem to always have fading hickeys lately. And Joe!!!!! Zomgz you pulled a me!!! You're a make-out-whore!!! ....so at this one party, apparently I told girl-Jamie's boyfriend Luke that I was straight and that it was all a ruse to get girls. I made out with girl-Jamie at that party. Which is why I don't drink so much anymore, hahaha.

So my friend had an opera the other night... and this was the disclaimer on the program. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Edited for television. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Decision of judges is final. This supersedes all previous notices. Isn't that fabulous? It was the campiest, flamiest, funniest, most wonderful opera I've ever seen. Three guys sang the Queen of the Night aria from Mozart's The Magic Flute, and there were lots of scenes from The Merry Widow. Lots of guys in drag and corsets and randomness and funny stuff happening. I wish I could've taped it.

Everyone's so adorable. Me and Kevin (mah man) being dumb at card night at my friend Leah's house... http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...262616_4556.jpg He tackled me. Then hugged me. http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...262615_4251.jpg Me and my name-mate, girl-Jamie... http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...262610_2669.jpg Be nice, my face was broken out and my hair was nutso, plus Kevin managed to pick the angles that make him look the weirdest.

So last night was a big eye-opener for me. I really do love Kevin, he's amazing as hell. Makes me crazy happy, and he's so damn sweet to me. Even when he kind of annoys me, it's so easy to just put up with it because all I have to do is think about how happy he makes me at other times, and the little annoying things just don't bug me so much. I'll be living with my best friend over the summer. I'll miss living with Kevin, 'cause that's what I've been doing for all practical purposes, but I'm looking forward to living with Liz. Another one of my best friends ever is thinking about living with us and will at least be visiting. It would be absolutely amazing to live with my two best friends in the entire world. I really can't fathom how I could be more happy and comfortable and just... right. At this point in my life, this mix of relationships is the perfect thing for me, and I think that it will really do wonders for me. First, there's Liz. She's amazing. She's the most dependable, trustworthy, hard-working, reliable, loyal, sweet, adorable person I've ever met. I would not hesitate to put my life into her hands. Last night we were sitting outside smoking and drinking a beer whilst Kevvers was inside sleeping, and it was just so right, and when I told her that I really do trust her that much, her words were "You better! I'd kill for you, bitch!" She makes me extraordinarily happy, and she always has my best interest in mind. I know she'll do her best to take care of me, and I'll do my best to take care of her, and that just makes me warm and fuzzy to an extreme. Next, there's Todd. I've known him since I was fifteen. I love him like a brother and best friend, even though I'd totally have married him if he'd have gone for it back when I had a crush on him (WAY back in the day, lol). He's been one of the few constant supporting figures in my life, and I feel like I can trust him with my deepest secrets because I know he'll never judge me for it and he'll always tell me the absolute truth of what he thinks, no holds barred. It's his honesty, integrity, and loyalty that make him so wonderful. I'm so thankful that I've had him to talk to during the times in my life when everyone else is distant, when my friends have become acquaintances or even enemies. Then there's Kevin. My first boyfriend that's actually made it through more than a few days of my crazy, and made me feel like he honestly and truly cares about me. I've always been pretty sure that I cared deeply about the other person, but he's managed to convince me that he really cares about me, which is a first. These people are just incredible. If I had them all around me, interacted with all of them intimately and in close proximity on a daily basis, I really dunno how I could be happier. They're my favorite people in the world. They make me feel special, which isn't easy. I want so badly to make them happy, to care for them, to be supportive... to just be a good friend to them. Now, through this bout of euphoria, the villainy of the f**ked up world we live in did briefly rear its ugly head. I can't really wrap my head around this... because truthfully it ties into the really deep-seated fear and lack of understanding I have for pedophilia... but anyways. Someone very important told me about his first time. He seems to be very well-adjusted with it and not at all unhappy about it, and in fact he told me he enjoyed it and doesn't feel bad about it at all, so don't freak or anything as far as his mental state 'cause I think he's okay. Anyway, it was on his tenth birthday, and with his older brother who was sixteen or seventeen at the time. I just have trouble understanding exactly how he could be okay with that, and not feel guilty or betrayed. It... freaks me out... lots. I mean, that whole natural curiosity and obsession with understanding people and why they do what they do is questioning how he feels about it, why he feels that way, why his brother did it, what his brother was really motivated by, etc. Also, if it makes any difference, they're not related by blood, he's adopted. Anyways, that's just been weighing on my mind a bit, and I've been trying to analyze it and understand the mechanics of what was going on a bit better and really understand how he feels about it in particular. Enough of that now... 'cause that's such a heavy topic for a day when I'm in a really great mood. My friend Marti has a performance she wanted me to go to at 7:30 tonight, and I'm washin' clothes at the moment. After that, I'm going to SLEEP. I'm exhausted, didn't get much sleep last night and three exams have taken their toll. More good news is that I'm down to 131.8!! Only 6.8 pounds from goal weight! YAY! I've decided that when I can see my abs, which I'm absolutely certain will be at 125, I'll start changing my diet to a high protein one with a decent amount of complex carbs, and low fat, then start putting weight back on slowly as muscle by going to the gym. I'm way too much of a wimp. Kevin only weighs 112 pounds, and I picked him up while he was asleep to carry him to bed last night, and seriously struggled with doing that without jerking him around and waking him up. I needs upper body strength especially, lol, my arms are scrawny. Anywho, I'm gonna put clothes in the dryer before I fall the hell asleep. I'm gonna sleep sooooooo good tonight, it's gonna be amazing. Take care, have fun, seezya!

Yay, I has other people's opinions now!! It makes me happy! I think I'd really like to try it if the opportunity presented itself and I truly thought that the people would be willing to work to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. I just somehow think that it would be so wonderfully loving and happy and interesting all the time, even during fights/problematic times. Yeah I'm weird, maybe I'm just an attention whore, but the idea really is starting to grow on me.

I might be weird... but I really like cleaning the bathroom. Scrubbing Bubbles is my favorite cleaner of all time, it's wonderful and smells so clean and fresh and good. I love the way porcelain looks insanely bright, shiny, polished, and absolutely spotless when you clean it. I like using scrub brushes and latex gloves and getting all the little cracks and crevices and nooks and crannies absolutely sparkling clean. It makes me feel better about life, like I've gotten rid of the germs in the bathroom and thus gotten rid of the bad stuff in my life through proxy. Yeah I'm weird, whatevs. I'm also a mad cleaner... when I get angry, the place I'm living absolutely SPARKLES. Same thing when I get to feeling really out of control and overwhelmed. Got pissed off at my roomie a while back and spent like six hours sweeping/mopping/scrubbing/organizing the dorm room. It was so shiny when I was done.

So the other day I was talking to a friend and a very interesting possibility was debated. I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about it, either. Do you think it's possible to have a successful, intimate, happy, productive relationship in which three people are involved? I used to think immediately "Hell no, that's not possible at all, it just couldn't work"... but now I'm not so sure. The more I think about it, the more I realize that my self-image and self-worth have gotten a lot better and I don't feel as insecure anymore, thus I feel less jealous of others, so I don't grow suspicious or envious. Also, the more I think about it the more I realize that I have a LOT of love to give, and while I could certainly maintain it in a platonic fashion for everyone but one special person, what would be wrong with giving it to two people if they both knew and agreed? Is there anything intrinsically wrong with that scenario? Is it immoral? If so, how? Why? For me, this is becoming a very complicated point of interest because I have a lot of my personal opinions and morals worked out, and the fact that I'm having so much trouble deciding exactly how I feel about this issue really surprises me. On the one hand I wonder if I would feel left out, or feel like I'm leaving someone out of the relationship, or not spending a balanced amount of time/effort/love on both individuals. On the other hand, I wonder if it could be a good thing, if I could love and be loved by two people who could also love and be loved by each other, and we could be happy together in a trusting, supportive, caring union. Of course, this is all purely hypothetical, but it leaves much to be pondered about human nature and presuppositions people have because society supports a certain defined relationship-type. What do you guys think?

The only time I've ever eaten a hard boiled egg, it was actually a deviled egg, and it was actually three deviled eggs total, and I was a tad... erm... inebriated, and couldn't decide whether I liked them or not. A friend's mom kept pushing them on me, and I was sooooo hungry, so I ate one, and it was like "OMG EW... wait... that tastes sorta good..." ~shrug~ I like my eggs scrambled or made into an omelet. Hard boiled eggs are icky.

So I'm wasting time right now until Kevin decides to wake up. I've been basically living at his apartment, going home to shower/shave/change/grab stuff and then I pretty much come right back, and I go to class. I gotta say it's sort of funny how now that I've backed away from my social circles, everyone's paying a lot of attention to me. It's so ironic that when I actually wanted attention, I could never get anyone to give me the time of day, and now that I have Kevin, everybody wants me to play with them all the time. Kevin and I are officially dating, as in boyfriend status. He's a sweetheart, and I really can't believe I'm spending so much time around him without wanting to kill him. Most people really bother me after a while, but I've yet to come across anything that really annoys me with him. The most aggravating thing is having to actually pay attention when he talks about some random paranormal/spiritual type shit and I blatantly don't believe in any of it... but even that doesn't really get on my nerves too much because he usually is kind of cute about that, sorta like watching a little kid play pretend, y'know? Same way I feel about the few Christians I like, lol. Trenden seems to be a bit upset at the sudden acquisition of Kevin, considering as how he seemed to be wanting to hit on me. Sorry, but that's totally all on him. I was nice to him, tried to spend time with him, and he very likely could've totally captured my attention way before Kevin even came along, but he didn't seem to want to make the effort to find alone time with me. It's sort of hard to get to know someone if you're constantly in a big group of people, much less get close to them at all. Anyway, I was hesitating about him anyway for a while because I wasn't sure how well we would jive together, so it's likely a very good thing that it happened the way it did. So yeah, I'm quite fond of Kevin. He's just delightful. The guy is absolutely mouthwateringly sexy for starters, plus he's very affectionate, he's very sweet, and he catches a lot of things that people don't normally pay attention to. He just... he's very good about doing what he can to keep me in my comfort-zone and making me feel relaxed and calm. Good sense of humor and he's playful, too! I have pictures of him taking a bubble bath 'cause he was sore from us playing racketball. Stuff like that makes me smile, being all playful and silly and whatnot. Hm, so really all I have to talk about is Kevin, and let's face it, no one really wants to hear that much about someone's boyfriend or girlfriend, ever. I've been just generally hanging around and going to class, my friend Liz got a ferret which she named Morris Freeman Malfoy McDougal, I lost a bit more weight so now I'm 135 even, and yeah... I'm quite happy. Okay I go bye bye now, but you guys take care and have fuuuun!

Awwwwww, you guys are so cute!!!

I don't like how unconditional this is. I'll do some things with some guys that I would never in a billion years do with other guys. My man can bite me or pull my hair a little or choke me a bit or sometimes when we're really frisky grab those... wait... I'm oversharing, aren't I? Anyway! He can do that but some stranger is so not allowed. I dunno, I have issues with the idea of casual sex being anything but vanilla. If I want mint chocolate chip, it's gonna be with a guy I trust. Also, this is so limited. Half my turn-ons aren't even ON that list (though the fact that piercings are makes me happy), which makes me greatly unhappy. But if I chose an orange hanky 'cause I happen to have one or two kinks that are a bit out there for most people, I end up getting chased by the real freaks. I no likey the hanky code. black <--- see, another example, they'd wanna hit me with a whip or some shit and I'd come unglued on them. I'm picky about my playtime, kthnx. gray <--- not to be done with anyone I don't really trust light blue <--- heh, my personal specialty, bwahaha robin egg blue <--- that's always kind of awkward, but it's fun if you're feeling playful... navy blue <--- depends Hahaha kelly green! <-- Yeah right, like I'd do well at all as a prostitute. ~sigh~ I wish I had the body to be a stripper, I could use a decent job. Purple <--- it would be so hot to do the nasty while you're getting a piercing, just sayin'. Gold (as in just plain gold, not metallic) <--- that would be a possibility... because my guy's kinky... but it's extremely unlikely 'cause I'm a prude about that Beige <--- Hygiene is important.

Forgiven, by Within Temptation and now... Amaranth, by Nightwish Post-Tarja Nightwish makes me slightly sad... because Tarja WAS Nightwish. ~sigh~

I'm gonna second that. Adorable.

...so the last boy... Kevin... asked me in sign language if I wanted to have sexual intercourse with him. At that point, my suspicions were aroused. We'll not talk about what else was. Quite frankly though, even that I was sort of oblivious to... it takes a serious knock to the skull to make me really believe someone's actually interested in me. It wasn't until he hopped in my lap and started nibbling my neck that I really got it. Yes, I really am that stupid sometimes. By the way, just for the record, we STILL haven't done the nasty and I've been around him almost constantly for... um... ~counts~ about a week? I'm proud of myself for not being a whore. He's so cute. Moral of the story: if a boy asks if you want to have sex with him, he's likely interested in you.

One of the reasons that I think he's moderately attractive now is that he doesn't look like a little boy anymore... and I happen to like the facial hair...

I've been seeing this guy, Kevin, for the past few days. Well, basically I met him about four days ago and have slept at his apartment (with my undies still on, might I add) each night since. I went to the restaurant on campus by the library because my friend girl-Jamie (she's girl-Jamie and I'm boy-Jamie because we're name-mates) because she wanted Marti and I to go with her to meet people and get foodz. I got there and I saw Kevin, and I immediately thought "Jesus, he's adorable. Not even gonna try for that," and thought no more of it really. Oh, btw he's got blue eyes, dark mostly straight with a little wave hair, very nice lips/nose, and he's so... incredibly... tiny. He's an inch taller than me and weighs probably 115ish. GOD I love his hip bones so much. ANYWAY! Well we had dinner and then talked for a while (the big group of people, and I really didn't speak to Kevin until we walked outside), and when everyone left, Kevin commented that he had nothing to do. Being the sort of people we are, Marti and I were like "COME PLAY WITH US THEN! " Marti, Jessica, Trenden, Kevin, and I went back to Marti's room and played around for a while. Basically we joked around, I hopped under the blankets and gave Marti air-head while she was like "OH JAMIE!" and yeah, she and Trenden messed with people who called their phones by answering as Sarah Palin or Jesus Hotline. Was priceless. Anyway, eventually I was starting to wonder if Kevin was hitting on me. The way he was acting was sort of odd, and he was paying me a lot of attention. I finally figured that out for certain when he hopped in my lap and wrapped his legs around me. Lulz, I nearly flipped my lid, didn't know what the hell to do. Even then I still thought he had to be joking around or something. Eventually midnight rolls around and we gotta vacate 'cause visiting hours are over. Jess and Trenden head toward the freshman dorms, and I was starting the trek toward my dorm when Kev was like "Wanna come hang out with me at my apartment?" At this point, I was like "Great, I'll have a nice random hookup and then a nice awkward, lukewarm dislike forever after." Surprisingly, that's not what happened! Basically we sorta ended up cuddling up, watching TV, eventually going to his bedroom and he played piano for me ('cause I freakin' love piano) and then when it got late I was all ready to go home so he could sleep and get to class the next day. He was like "Well, you could just stay the night..." C'mon now, who's going to say no to someone that incredibly hot/adorable with such a lonely pouty face? So I did. And then I went home and showered/shaved... and came back... then I went home and showered again and washed clothes, and came back... and then I went to classes, played racketball with Marti and girl-Jamie, showered, and came back... and I'll likely go back again today. Also, he bites. Hard. ~twitch~ It's nice. We seem to be on mostly the same wavelength on most things, especially important stuff, but he's a little kinky even for me from what I can tell, hahaha. Um, the other thing is I think he's insane, not dangerous insane, but definitely a good bit crazy. I think he may have some serious delusions going... which is actually sort of fun considering how much I enjoy figuring people out and he's waaaaaaaay different from the average puzzle. Okay, so the other thing is that I've lost weight. Allow me to point out that when I joined up at GA, I'm not sure how much I weighed but it had to have been at least 180-185 if not more like 190-200 pounds. Now, a couple years later... I now weigh exactly 135.8 pounds. That puts my BMI at about 21.9! I'm aiming for 19ish (so about 120), lol, which I realize would put me almost at the border between normal and underweight, but I want to be able to see my abs and all that jazz. It's gonna be great. And then I'll get my last two microdermals on my hips!! Okay, I'm going to go waste a bit more time before I decide to go find food and then head over to the lab 'cause I work 12-3 today coding videos. See ya guys! Oh, btw, Forgiven by Within Temptation. Listen to it.

I totally love beer. I also love glitter and nail polish. I like pain. I also like the result of pain to be PREEEEETTY, like the two more microdermals I got yesterday!!! I dislike this notion of a "real man". Can't we just have "real people" instead? Women can also step up to the plate when need be. Doesn't matter if your happy place is a penis or a vah-jay-jay, you can still be a decent human being. I like to think that the original intent of that phrase, real man, is just to commend a man on reaching a maturity level not many people get to. It doesn't even lie with these concrete virtuous fallacies like zomgz never lie never cheat never steal get married have kids sorts of things. It's about that rare person (I can count the ones I've met on less than one hand) who has the proper mix of discretion, integrity, good will, and wisdom to actually make some sort of difference in the world around them. All the inflexible morals in the world won't get you as far as a little savoir faire, and the ten commandments don't feed/clothe/house your loved ones. I'd go so far as to say that concrete, inflexible, overtly "moral" men are the opposite of real men. You always do the most good in the world meeting people halfway... or, y'know, manning (or womanning?) up and carrying them for a while when they need it.

God I'd strangle an elderly woman with her cat to look like you. You make me sick, hot bastard. ~jealous~

I may have had a slight break with reality. So my dresser started talking to me. I'm gonna assume it was my dresser anyway, because I feel like it's less weird for an object to talk to me than for me to hear a voice coming from nowhere. I've never actually heard voices before, so it was interesting. Last night I got put in handcuffs again, hahaha. Silly UPD caught me with booze and was all rawr. That was just a scare tactic of course because really all they did was give me a ticket and get me fired from my desk assistant job lulz. I also made out with Jen last night! And Trenden! And Truett! You know I'm wondering if it wouldn't be easier to just say who I haven't made out with. Jen uses teeth, I like her. She bit my lip, teehee. Truett wouldn't quit hitting on me all night, and apologized for being a gigantic prick the first time I met him. It was incredibly surreal considering how for the first part of the night I was quiet and withdrawn just because he was present and I hated him, and was plotting how to get rid of him craftily. He also wouldn't quit grabbing my crotch, and quite frankly I'm so sick of people thinking they can do that sort of thing to me. You DON'T know me like that and I'm not a whore, so back the f**k up. The irony? The whole time Truett was all rawr I couldn't quit laughing because all I wanted to do was go play with Trenden. The double irony? Now I find Trenden extremely unattractive because he cried when the cops came. Pussy, grow up. The triple irony? I WAS THE ONE IN HANDCUFFS NOT HIM HAHAHAHAHA. So now I'm doubly unemployed, and have this fine to pay. The reason I wonder if I'm a little psychotic maybe is because all of this is extraordinarily hilarious to me. Toss in the whole family thing and ZOMGZ crazy stew! You know, at this point, I welcome more trouble. It's become somehow very amusing. I think I'll go get piercings now. It'll make me feel better.

I go for more blatantly obvious things... like them telling me they like me. I'm pretty blatant about it, too. As in, "Do you like me?", lol. I feel like it's a waste of time to try and guess if it's not obvious. Plus I really have a thing for guys who are secure enough or willing to go out on a limb enough to just tell me they like me or ask if I like them. It's kinda like it shows a willingness to be forward and honest, and not waste each other's time or play games. ~shrug~ I say that if you don't have an automatic intuitive response, just ask.

Oh my jesus you're so adorable!!!!

Lulz, I'll definitely try to be just as arrogant, mean-spirited, pessimistic, foul-mouthed, twistedly humorous, and generally contrary as always. Love you all.

Happy birthday.

1.) OMG YOU HAVE A BUNNY IN YOUR SIGNATURE AND I JUST PUT A BUNNY IN THE LAST POST WINS THREAD! ! 2.) Ah, 'sokay. I don't like being around smoke and I don't like the smell of it on clothing/skin/hair either, lol, and I actually do smoke... so yeah. I get that. Now nice tobacco is a different story because I've smelled some that I'd burn just to smell it because it's a pretty smell. Expensive stuff though, and I don't do pipe tobacco.