SilentandBroken

That was what I was thinking too

I don’t anymore. I saw more in 4 yrs that most paramedics see in 20. Just a bad string of calls and I damn near broke. Childhood narcissistic abuse victim, raped as teen by an older student who turned out to be a narc (I REALLY fell for him too), lots of loss around that time, friends to suicide ..I ran to EMS to just to be able to FIX SOMETHING. It turned out to be a super bad mistake. Only made it worse with more losses responding to calls of kids I grew up with and knew since kindergarten. I was a sick sick puppy for a while so when you describe Nathan as numb and depressed..I FEEL that shit. It took 5 yrs of weekly hard core therapy to get my head straightened out so I could just function without risk of a daily panic attack bc I couldn’t stop worrying over the what ifs over no reply’s from significant others or ppl k cared about or whatever. Somehow I did it all without meds. Ironically they made life worse with side effects and I told my doc no more. Nothing but Straight therapy every week for 2hrs. It was brutal. But it was worth it. I’m stronger mentally for it today but I won’t lie, I had suicidal ideations for a yr. But thank you for understanding .

I still have night terrors about some of those calls. I can recall everything.

Whew ok ..I’m ok ..I’m ok Jesus dude…as a former Emt who’s responded to friends killed in wrecks in my early 20’s and as a motorcyclist who’s had a few near misses myself i certainly wasn’t expecting this.. breathe dammit…I’m ok… he better live AND WALK AGAIN dammit! Quit stomping on my feels dammit. ok ..ok..sigh..I get it. Nathan deserved that slug by Corey for sure. The rest? I just can’t right now. Great chapter now leave my emotions alone dammit shame on you (I jest)

Oh Comsi would literally eat this up and the song too.. too cute https://youtube.com/shorts/-YPLooVKcjM?si=oCuvHqeuhgbLY8Jy

I am enjoying it

Sigh…. Stupid stupid stupid… nate royally fucked up lying to Corey. That’s when I knew things were gonna spin out of control. The only thing he didn’t fuck up was how he handled the idiots at his locker. Now I worry Corey is at risk for self harm

I agree we’re not seen the last of the 3 stooges and their 5 collective brain cells. Other than that, nothing to add. Good chapter

Great breakthrough chapter. I think….yes there’s issues coming. Quitting football the least of them. I think Max will try to be competition to Corey. There will be issues too if Nate goes out for basketball. The Asperger’s story line is a nice twist .

Thx. Therapy got me through my worst. Now the rest just reminds me I’m still human.

@Jeff Burton damn dude you had me balled up into the fetal position teary eyed listening to this from text to speech. I have been to the point of sheer helplessness and rage in a battle of my mind like Nate was in his front yard. The tidbits of history we got from Corey moving into the district in 8th is a clue for me making me wonder how, why, he just knows what to do for Nate. I wonder why he moved. I wonder if he’s experienced loss like Nate. The fact he let him rail on him just as knew Nate needed to broke my heart he is still grieving and is losing that battle. Corey’s timing into Nate’s life is impeccable. It’s clear Corey has actual true feelings and cares for Nate and it isn’t just some physical attraction type draw. He’s an empath it seems. He’s exactly who Nate needs. I really like the support Chris and their father are giving even in the midst of their own grieving. Having been there myself, nobody has the right to tell anyone they should be over losing someone . Ever. Sometimes folks never learn how. Some simply just heal at a different pace. Anyway, as for Jess, damn! She’d make a Gunny Sgt of the Marines giggle with that threat. I know I did. I’ve just discovered your work and this is my first story and once I finish it I’m binging on the others. Kudos.

@Jeff Burton excellent start. You’ve built these characters well . You really depict the turmoil between them well. Nice long chapters too. I’m hooked.

Idk but there’s something more to him than meets the eye. I can’t quite put my finger on it yet. I’m not getting a bad vibe but there IS something…

Now I expect that this will indeed drive a wedge between friends and I half expect some of this backfire on him too.

Having been raped and have triggers from that trauma, I’m surprised he didn’t trigger into a panic attack mid coitus. I sure have a few times and it’s been YEARS since that rape. I half expect a night terror later. Alternatively, he might actually heal a bit from this emotionally. The aggression and dom isn’t a surprise that it’s a turn on . I guess this time it’s because he wanted it that he didn’t. Everyone reacts a bit differently.

Yeah the cousin possibility IS logical ..and admittedly it was my first thought too that maybe Jason had a friend over that happened to be a girl but ..idk there’s something odd with his behavior I can’t put my finger on. This is the second time he’s sort of been..idk caught so to speak.

Yes there’s definitely plenty of areas where this story could’ve used an editor. The lack of one doesn’t ruin the story however.

I reacted sadly bc well frankly, this site is fictional and it’s associated with the BL site. I get why. But all we do here is fantasy entertainment. Ok sure you might see a cutie in real life and can’t help but ogle but let’s face it, most if not all of us wish we could do our teens over and we are simply daydreaming of what might’ve been had we made better decisions and had a better support system . Oh well

I’m pan

It just sounded like you weren’t aware . Forgive me if you were.

Tragically Comicality passed away some months ago.

I knew my posting was going to hit a few of us in the feels hard. Especially a few who, like you, were there at the beginning and have had the fortune to know him on a closer level. For that I am truly very sorry. That said, a lot of my story of life involves a lot of close loss. I am unfortunately, very familiar with grief. Loss affects me so much. It’s scarred and traumatized me. Mr.M & I have corresponded and as Comsi and I about writing a fictionalized version of my story. Sigh. I’m honestly scared at the idea. Petrified actually. Anyway before I get too off into the weeds, I wanted to sends empathetic hugs to you for your grief. It sounds you were the closest to him out of all of us. I also wanted to thank you for your answer. It makes total sense. I can totally see him having that mentality. There’s a few stories that I would like to see completed but they all tie in to the GFD. Thank you for this. The cover is hot.

That would be wonderful. I’ve not read that one. I hope it isn’t a premium story.

“But the question still remains, tell me why you chose to leave us in the dark.” this line speaks to me. It voices my wonder why Comsi didn’t make sure he finish GFD before he passed. Or, at least, give someone else his vision for the end and permission to finish it. Granted, I know it would probably weaken the greatness of what his Magnum Opus Gone From Daylight is if it were finished by someone else, and yes I understand he simply may have been too weak and sick to finish, or pass on his vision..I just can’t help but wonder what might’ve been. yes I know this song was written for artists who’ve passed recently within the last few years especially Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington but that’s the beauty of music. It’s always open to personal interpretation. This is one of Myles’s new releases. It is a masterful tune.

“Shaking my head no. I didn’t want to face my family nor the police. It’s too embarrassing. How do you tell the one’s that you love that you kidnapped, abused, raped, and drugged? Just how?” unfortunately I’ve been there. Back to Jason. More later