Like you, I too believe in the right to die. When one weighs the quality-of-life vs the struggle to hold on and endure the agonizing suffering that lies ahead, is it really any wonder why such a choice is made? So many look at an individual exercising that right as a selfish, uncaring act. However, is it really, or do they hope we love them enough to understand and ultimately support their decision?
As for why someone is chosen to be the one, perhaps it is a final act of love, Brutal? Most certainly; however, who would love him more in those final moments to see that he was attended to with the same degree of care and compassion?
Having personal experience with my soulmate’s eleven catastrophic illnesses and all that that entailed, I was thankful my beloved held on those eight long agonizing years, fighting the good fight. I don’t know how he found the strength, but he did, and I will forever honor the courage that took. Had he made a different choice, I loved him enough to respect his final decision.
In the end, the loss is devastating no matter how it comes. Thirteen years on, the tears still come and dreams of what ifs remain, but I hold on to the treasured memories of love and times shared. May those same gifts left behind bring you peace, comfort, and healing in the days ahead.
Finally, being pissed is not only okay, but it’s also allowed and understandable.