Former Member

All together now: 🎶 Because you’re beautiful, no matter what they say! 🎶 🎶 Baby I was born this way! 🎶 ;–)

Most of the Gay/bisexual men I’ve met who were previously married considered their children to be one of the bright spots in an otherwise dark period. Even when the children were older, aware of, and unhappy about their father’s orientation, the parental ties were still there. I saw a documentary about a Transwoman who helped raise her children while remaining married to her wife. Her kids resented her at the time for being the parent who always volunteered to chaperone field trips and other school activities. But she stuck to it and her kids came around. (Her last name was Shattuck and I told her she needed to get a picture with the downtown Berkeley street sign!) ;–)

From the physical descriptions, I could be attracted to both Eric and Timothy. I wouldn’t like all the drinking though. I don’t like the smell or the side effects – I’ve met way too many alcoholics when I was homeless. ;–) I don’t like confrontation, so I could see myself having the same sort of communication problems that Brian and Eric had…

While it was great to catch up with Stuart & Cyril again, that wasn’t the ending I was hoping for. It was probably the most realistic and tragically predictable outcome though. I was just hoping for something different from Cyril that he just couldn’t manage. I look forward to revisiting with Stuart at least, if not Cyril…

This topic is something that people don’t talk about. As Jason mused, Asexual isn’t one of the orientations commemorated with an initial in LGBTQI. It’s probably the least discussed of our numerous orientations – and that’s saying a lot! ;–) I don’t recall ever seeing any movies devoted to it at Frameline – and I’m sure they’d try to include one if there was one that was remotely watchable (and trust me, I’ve seen some pretty questionable movies during the festivals). With more than 150 movies from more than 30 different countries in five different venues in two different cities and counties this year, they try to cover every possible permutation of our community. I’ve seen documentaries about the lives of LGBTQ elders, I’ve seen movies about elementary school-aged trans kids, I’ve seen movies about LGBTQ people in Pakistan, Finland, Chile, Russia, South Africa, Iceland, and all the usual suspects. I’ve seen joyful movies, I’ve seen heartbreaking movies, I’ve seen thought-provoking movies, and I’ve seen movies that have made me angry (sometimes not because the director intended me to). I’ve seen movies about sports, I’ve seen movies about politics, I’ve seen movies about activists, I’ve seen movies about parents, I’ve seen movies about children, I’ve seen movies about furries and plushies, and I’ve even seen movies about people like me. Of course, it’s possible they’ve shown them at venues I’m not at since there are times when they’re showing up to four different movies on different screens in those five different venues. ;–)

So now you guys are going to teach me Polish to go along with @Timothy M.’s Danish lessons? ;–) This was very intense. I’ve known more men than I like to think about who also married women even though they were/are Gay. One of my best friends has two daughters that he raised, as well as two grandsons for whom he was a surrogate father and a spoiled rotten granddaughter who is the only one I’ve never met. I first met him when I started volunteering for an AIDS support and education organization back in the late ‘80s. I soon met his daughters. Many years later, I met his grandsons who always seemed to me to be more like brothers than cousins. He talks about his ex-wife occasionally, so I believe they’re still in contact several decades after their relationship ended. I also met a young man at the Gay Community Center in Berkeley who was just Coming Out. He and his wife were still together and they were trying to keep their relationship going. I don’t know if they were successful or not since I lost track of him after a few months. My generation was the transition from when most Gay men tried to hide their orientation and often married women to later generations who were less likely to feel the need to hide. Living a lie is very damaging to your mental health. Many people who try become addicted to alcohol and other drugs. I’m still surprised that I managed to avoid all of that. I’m still struggling with other psychological problems, but at least I don’t have an ex-wife or children – or worse, a chemical addiction dragging me down! (I’ve met many people who have had to deal with recovery from addictions and I've seen how difficult it is.) I can’t remember the name of the group, but I’ve heard there’s an organization for hetero spouses of LGBTQs. I’m sure if you need their help, you can find them online. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual situation.

Now that you mention it, it does remind me of @Headstall’s cowboy story! ;–) And now you’ve done it. You do realize that now we’re going to be asking for more Tar & Gil stories as well as all your other incomplete stories! But at least it’s a completely different genre from your other stories! ;–)

So Holmes Labs should set up a new division for Devon to head: matchmaking. For single people who don’t work for VUN or Holmes Labs. Just to formalize what he’s already doing. ;–)

I don’t think I could be AFK except during Frameline42 LGBTQ film festival next month. I spent lots of time on my computer long before I got internet access. But I don’t play any of those online games. The only Social Media I use are Tumblr, Flickr, and YouTube – I don’t spend much time on any of those sites. I refuse to use any of the smirking weasel’s Social Media sites (no matter how many times he apologizes). ;–) I do spend too much time here though… ;–)

I don’t know how you manage to read so much so quickly! ;–) I’ve been reading The Swedish Effect by Elekrisk on Codey’s World/Awesome Dude. When I started reading it I didn’t realize it would end up dealing with an issue that’s very much in the news. It didn’t start out that way, but it was a natural progression.

That title sounds familiar for some reason… ;–)

That wasn’t really what I meant when I said “…but don’t try to rush things.” ;–)

So… sometime within the next year or so? ;–)

Besides, we all know you have plenty of love to share! ;–) Only you can decide if he should get the benefit of a fresh start with you. You were there and I wasn’t. I think you need to spend some time sorting through your emotions about this before you see him again.

Ah, a night owl! One of @sandrewn’s Status Updates suggested that we night owls won’t live as long as the early birds. But I think it’s because those nasty early birds keep forcing us to follow their preferred schedules! (Studies have proven that teenagers don’t function well when they are forced to begin classes at 7 or 8 in the morning.) ;–)

You reacted the way you reacted. At this point, he’s pretty much a stranger. Don’t feel bad for not getting emotional, that’s just our very butch Jack! ;–)

I think you should cautiously remain in contact. The sins of a parent are not necessarily inherited by a child, but some of the lessons they teach might be. You took what your mother taught you as a negative and have moved away from her examples. It might be good for you to get to know your brother a little better to find out how he responded to those same lessons. If he reacted in a similar manner to you, you could have an ally you never expected! But you won’t know unless you spend more time with him. ;–)

I hope this means he has a night job! Otherwise that could be seen as abusive. And I’d like to believe that only happens in your stories (at the beginning of the story at least). ;–)

Thank you, Parker. These are some very nice recordings of Handel's Organ Concertos

I have a new nickname – clearly inspired by my love of desserts! ;–)

Apparently you live in my state, but I’m not clear on what part (Costco suggests it’s not too remote an area though). I’m also not sure about how old you are. Most metro areas here have some sort of LGBTQ community center. They are usually good places to meet other Gay or bisexual men. There are all sorts of LGBTQ social organizations including hikers, bicyclists, campers, and all sorts of sports. Next month, Frameline42 takes place. San Francisco’s LGBTQ film festival is the world’s oldest and largest. Los Angeles has a smaller LGBTQ film festival about a month later. If you live near the location of one of California’s numerous Pride Parades, it can be a way to find volunteer opportunities (during the post-parade festival). I think maybe you should try to find other LGBTQs rather than fantasizing about straight, married men. PM me if you want to talk privately. I’m not a redhead, but I do appreciate their appeal. I used to wear skinny jeans back in the ‘70s when they were known as shrink-to-fit Levi 501s! ;–)

The fact that Melissa is a girl made setting up Brad and her brother easier, but Kyle’s sibling would have been evil no matter the gender! It’s sibling rivalry, just a little more extreme than normal. Neither Melissa, nor Kyle get enough attention from their usually absent parents and Melissa acts out subconsciously crying out to be noticed. ;–)

Maybe you should take that as a compliment! Although my one year older cousin is Bryan, I think of a friend first when I hear the name. It was Brian's Trick Name, but that was the name used when his partner introduced him and that’s what we all knew him as. (Although I’ve seen his sister and parents, I haven’t seen my cousin himself since the late ‘70s. I’m not very close to my father’s side of the family and rarely see them outside hospitals and memorial services. I see some of my mother’s side of the family twice a year for US Thanksgiving and Christmas – my brothers are usually there too. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve seen my younger brother’s wife and son, and I’ve only seen his daughter once in that period.) ;–)

At least in California English, Carey and dairy rhyme. I hear extra vowels in some British English words that aren’t there in American English. I also hear extra vowels in some Australian English words too. I can’t recall the words off hand, but I notice them when I hear them! ;–) I loved the misdirection there with Archer! His interactions with his sister and niece make him even sexier to me! Carey was much braver than I am, I’d never go skinny dipping. I’ve only gone naked in hot tubs with a few friends that I knew very well and in very private locations. (Yet another aspect of being Risk Averse!) ;–)

Well, Devon can’t use a bat as the symbol on a Vampire Flag, it’s already been done. A big ‘V’ would be too much like a TV miniseries logo. A solid Blood Red Flag might be the best choice I can think of! I’m not aware of anyone else using it already. ;–)