JSmith

The Former Member tag is used for those people that requested their account be closed. We don't want to spread rumors, so it's best if you ask the member(s) why they left, as it was their decision and not ours. As many of you saw, Krista did leave us. She did so on her own free will as did the other 'Former Members'. She said she'll most likely be posting on a new site soon, so keep your eyes open for it. As for this thread, I don't want it to turn into a "Where did 'X' member go? Why'd they leave? What happened? How come? Who else left?" discussion. If you have questions, please come to us in private to talk with us about it. We'll be posting an announcement soon regarding Krista's leaving so please be patient. Thanks Joe

I know at one point there was a website that offered a service that would email contacts on a list in the case of your death. If you didn't check in for a certain amount of time, they would then call you, then call a secondary contact number that you provide, and if they can't reach you at all or your secondary contact confirms your death, they send out the email to your list. I don't know if it's still around, but I thought it was pretty morbid. I sure as hell wouldn't want to receive an email from someone after they died. Joe

I think it's kind of hard for FF to miss this one. At least 7 people (including Myr and myself) emailed them, the review board is quickly getting packed with accusations, and PMs and Emails are being sent to the readers. And some people thought GA wasn't united... look at us kick some ass!

Dom, I'm sorry to see that your work is being posted under another name, and I do hope the administration of the other site removes it, and bans the member. There is absolutely no excuse for plagiarizing another person's work. The reason people do it though: they're lazy. It's just like in school. You always have the people that are asking to copy your homework 3 minutes before class starts. I consider that plagiarizing too, as you took the time to do it, yet they're just copying it. It's not only stupid, it's pathetic the way some of these people act. If you don't have the patience or time to write a story, then don't. But don't sit there and steal a great author's work just because you want the credit, and you like to see your email inbox filled with fanmail each day. I love how you're the victim here, yet you still apoligize to everyone else. You're just too damn nice of a guy sometimes, Dom. I hope your week gets better and you enjoy yourself on the weekend Joe

Oh yes… another one of my ranting blogs. But this time it isn’t so much of a rant, as it is a realization. Ok, it is a rant at first, and I sound really needy, whiney, and bitchy, but so be it. I’m a little sleep deprived right now so it may not all flow together or be coherent, but that’s just another reason you should stop reading right now This could take a while, and will most likely be really long. I pity the fool who may actual waste part of his/her life reading this whole thing. To save space, and time, I’m not going to repeat everything about college that I was going to say. I said most of it in a previous blog with another rant. So if you didn’t read that, then you probably aren’t going to read this. And if you did read that, and you’re still confused, then you’re SOL because I don’t really care right now. Alright. I had my plans for college basically all lined out. I knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, when I wanted to go, and everything was going fine and dandy. I filed for early decision, and sent in my application and fee no problem. The school sent the transcript and my SAT scores over, and everything was going smoothly. But no. It can’t go right. That’s not how my life works. It doesn’t just work out perfectly for once. Oh no, I had to be tossed another curve ball. Monday before school, I went downstairs, and was about to head out the door when my mom started talking to me. No problem, I still had time. About a minute into the normal chit-chat crap, she randomly brings up my college stuff. She flat out tells me that there’s basically no way I’m going to RIT. We can’t afford it. Well, I wouldn’t have been upset with that revelation, and I would have understood, had she told me no 6 months ago when I found the school. She knew the price then, and said I should apply and send all my stuff to them and there was a chance that I could go. Being the moron that I am, I of course got really excited about the prospect of going to RIT. It’s an awesome school, it’s away from the parents and basically everyone I know, and it was in an area that I liked. But no. That stopped dead Monday morning. And then, to make it even worse, not only did she crush my school of choice, but she also said that there was a good chance that I was going to go to Northwood University in Texas like my sister. Oh what a joy! She had already talked with the admissions people, and they were really interested in me. In fact, she told me that when she talked with them about my looking into a Network Security degree, they basically said that was a stupid decision to make. That it would narrow down my field a lot. Well duh! Network Security isn’t really a small field. It takes a lot of classes and knowledge to do it, and the job outlook for it is fantastic. But Northwood said that getting an MIS degree would be better, so I don’t limit my job choices as much. While that may be true, it’s also a lot easier to get an MIS which makes the job competition a lot tougher. A lot more people apply for the same job. But fine. I let that go and didn’t argue with her on it because it would be pointless. She also told me that she talked with my sister about it, and they think it would be best for me to live on campus in the Dorms for the first semester, and then move in with my brother and sister after that. That way I can make more friends, meet new people, and figure out all the joys of campus life. That may be all fine and dandy and a good plan, but where the hell do I come in? I hadn’t even considered NU as a serious option before, and now my mom and sister have it all planned out for me. I guess that makes it a lot easier on me. Let me get one thing clear though. My mom isn’t all that bad. I’m making it sound worse than it really was. I could tell that she was genuinely sorry for me not being able to go to RIT, but we just couldn’t afford it. I understand that, and know it’s an expensive school. Now that I’ve had two days to let it sink in, I started thinking about actually just going with it, and going to Northwood. As much as it pains me to say it, I really do miss Texas sometimes. I lost a lot of things when we moved to Missouri. Some good things, some bad things. When I lived in Texas, life was a lot more… simple to say the least. I had close friends, I had a decent (meh) job, and I had a life. I would go out, and enjoy the time I didn’t spend at work or school. I hung out with people a lot outside of school, and didn’t really worry about things too much. I miss that part of Texas. I miss the friendships I left behind and the life I used to have. I don’t have that here. In Missouri though, a lot of good changes happened. I’m out to more than a few people, I’ve had a relationship with a guy, I’m no longer a virgin, my mother knows about me (though I’m not so sure that’s necessarily a good thing), and I feel more free to be myself. I don’t care as much about what other people think about me. I’m not so deep in the closet that I feel the need to date a girl I’m not even interested in, just to keep my straight appearance up. What worries me though is if I can go back to Texas. Northwood is close enough to my old city that I can still hang out with my old friends. I could possibly get my old job back (not that I really want it), and hopefully the close friendships will return. But will I still be able to be myself? I know some of my old friends weren’t too keen on the idea of gay people. I don’t think they would have stopped being my friends, but it wouldn’t be the same. They tell a lot of gay jokes, and use the term in a derogatory manner a lot. Now while that doesn’t really offend me too much, as I can take a joke fairly easily, I don’t think they would feel comfortable telling those jokes around me. Which would make it awkward, and we probably wouldn’t hang out as often as before. It really is a shitty situation to think about. I know on the one hand, people are going to say, “Well, if they can’t accept you for who you are, then they aren’t really your friends.” But I don’t really agree with that statement. They didn’t become friends with me. I was living a lie, and hiding who I really was for years. It’s hard for some to accept such a drastic change from someone they thought they knew. I don’t necessarily blame them for possibly rethinking our friendship. Maybe not based on the fact that I’m bi, but the fact that I could lie to them so easily for however long I knew them. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m going back to Texas to visit in just over a week. I plan on staying for 3 or 4 days, and then coming back to Missouri to finish out my school year. I already made plans with a bunch of old friends and plan on having a good time with them. I think ultimately, that’s going to be my decision maker right there. If I miss Texas enough, that I think I can still be myself, while still keeping the close friends I have, then Northwood isn’t such a bad option. In 4 years, I’ll be out of college with two degrees (dual major), most likely debt-free, and I’d still be far enough away from the parents, that I wouldn’t have to deal with them so much. I’m not really looking for advice on what to do, because I want this to be my decision, but I felt the need to get all that out. I think it helped writing it all out and thinking it through rather than just calling Jeff and whining to him like I usually do. But, I give up on this now. I don’t even write papers this long for class, much less a blog. I think this may be a new record length blog post. If anyone read through all that, I bow down to you. I will admit that even I won’t go back and read through this damn thing. Peace and love to those who deserve it. To hell with those who don’t (myself included). Joe (Who thinks it’s time for bed now) P.S. Just for the record... this was over 1500 words. See what I mean about needed a life? P.P.S. I hate November. It's only been 7 days into it, but it already sucks for various reasons. And none of the sucking is in a good way either.

The following poem isn't mine, but I did think it was special when I read it. This poem goes out to a few people in my life right now, but there's one person that I'm hoping will read this and understand it's for him. Joe (Who is sad to see bad things happen to good people)

Thank you, Myr Before I came here, I had no intention of ever building a website, or learning the other various skills I've picked up since being here. This site has changed my life in such a dramatic way, that I could never even begin to repay the debt I've acquired. Since I’ve been here, I’ve met some of the best people I know. I consider them friends to the fullest extents. I’ve come out to numerous people, one of them being my mother. I’ve went on a few dates, and even had a boyfriend. I wouldn’t have been able to do basically any of these without this site. It built up my courage and self-confidence to a level it hadn’t seen before. So once again, thank you, Myr, for this awesome site, and the awesome people on it. Joe

Actually, this isn't really a snap decision... I have given this a lot of thought recently. And it's not the curfews that are the main issue. It's that fact that she's putting these rules on me because she doesn't trust me, or fully accept who I am. I have given her no reason not to trust me, besides possibly the fact that I never told her about myself. And I never told her because I thought something like this might happen... and it did. I haven't just started thinking about this today. It's been a few months that this possibility has been floating through my mind. Where as I really don't want to have to do that, if that's what it comes down to, then I will do it.

I'm done with school on December 21. After that, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. As to this point, I planned on staying at home, working, and then taking night classes at one of the community colleges and try to get some of those required courses out of the way. Then in the Fall, I'd register as a Freshman and start college. Now, I'm seriously reconsidering that. Not all of it, but the living at home part. When I lived in Texas, I had work until 10:30 every night on weekdays, and would get home around 10:45ish. My parents didn't care. The weekends I would usually work until 11:00. Once again, my parents didn't care. Because I worked so much, I only had a limited amount of time to actually spend hanging out with friends. This was usually on the weekends after work. We would either go to Midnight/1am movies, or go to one of the arcade places to play basketball for a while. After that, we'd usually go to IHOP and eat. I wouldn't get home until 3 or 4 in the morning that night. Once again, no complaints from the parents. They accepted it and didn't care. I was 16 then, and I'm 17 now. Now that I'm in Missouri, I have a 10:00 curfew on weekdays and 12:00 on weekends. How the hell does that math work out? As I get older and more responsible, I'm punished and I now have a curfew? My grades are all high A's, I work almost every night, I'm never tardy or miss either school or work, yet I can't do a damn thing anymore. Sounds fair doesn't it? And why did all this start do you ask? Honestly, I have no idea. She didn't tell me. What I assume it's from though, is because she knows that I'm Gay. When in reality, I'm Bi, but I didn't correct her at the time, so she doesn't know that. Now, every time I try and go out, even if it's with a girl, she assumes that I'm lying my ass off, and I’m going out with a guy, and I’m going to go have all kinds of wild sex every damn night. I wish. Ever since she came to me and told me that she knew, she started imposing all these bullshit rules. Honestly, I’m sick of it. Yeah, I understand the curfew aspect of it, but if you haven’t given me a curfew before, and then all of a sudden put one on me after you find out that I’m gay, and won’t allow me to extend it due to work, then that f**king sucks. I don’t have a chance at a social life anymore. I picked her up from the airport today, and she was talking about the condo my brother and sister have in Texas (where she just came from), and she says, “Oh, by the way… you still have a midnight curfew when you’re down there. And you will not have anyone over at the house. And you will not have any parties.” Well what’s the f**king point of a vacation if you can’t even enjoy the damn thing? Half the people I’m going back to visit are going to be working during the day, and only have nights off. I was just a tad bit pissed when she brought this up so my mood went sour fast. I think she picked up on it, and then changed the subject to colleges. Well, she started off by saying, “Why are you looking at colleges so far away anyways? Do you just not want to be by Jim and Katie (siblings) or your dad and I?” Well, I was still pissed about her curfew shit while I’m in Texas, so I just shrugged and kept driving wishing it wasn’t as long of a damn drive as it was. So, right now I’m on the edge of moving out come December 21. Once school is over, I’ll either find somewhere here to live and wait until Fall, or I have a few other places in mind where I could move to where my parents wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I would tell them they can take whatever money they have for me for college, and use it on my brother and sister. I’ll go to a community college for 2 years to get my required courses done, then most likely go on a Government funded Full-Ride scholarship for the final 2 years. If I agree to work for them for so many years after I graduate, then they offer a full ride in the Information Assurance (Network Security) field. It wouldn’t be too bad. I’d have minimal debt, and I’d have plenty of experience after I finished working for the government. I’m not too sure what I’ll decide. I think the deciding point will be in December if she tries to still impose the curfew after I finish High School. Because I’m not going to do that crap. Anyways, if you read all that, then I feel sorry for you, as you just wasted way too much time in your life on such a pointless blog post. I just needed to rant about it, and I didn’t feel like calling anyone at the moment. Joe (Who is mightily pissed off at the moment and feels like taking it out on something inanimate. *Eyes his computer*)

Hey, I already admitted to being a hypocrite! I just didn't point out every spot where I was

I dont have mine listed But that's because I dont want to publicize it. If they want to know, they can ask

Alright, so I'm always bashing and making fun of all those people who used the MySpace and Xanga and Facebook and everything like that saying they really need to get a life and stop spending so much time on the computer trying to create relationships and 'friends' through them and what not. Well, I gave in to peer pressure today at school. I was in my Personal Finance class where we have the computers in front of us the whole time, and the people around me convinced me to create a Facebook account. Well, the school blocks the Myspace and Facebook websites and emails coming in so we cant go there, but there's always ways around that so I made one. I started searching through the school that I'm at and saw that almost 1,500 out of 2,000 kids there had a Facebook account. I was kinda surprised that that many people actually made those things and used them. Anyways, I was searching through my high school 'network' and was going through the list of seniors and low and behold, who do I find... my 'hypothetical' Adam. So I clicked his and went to it and everything and what's the first thing I see on there? Interested in: Males. So now I'm 100% sure he's gay. Before I was only like 99% sure, but now I know for sure and I started to get my hopes up. Well, looking down another line, I see he's already in a long-term relationship with a guy that he really likes. My hopes came crashing back down. So now I feel a mixture of relief and sadness because at least I have an excuse as to why I shouldn't go after him, but then it's not like I could get him even if I wanted to because he's already seeing someone. Blah! ------------Switching Gears--------------- Work! I walked in to work today and guess who I see there? Tim. Now, I don't talk about Tim that much in my blogs because it's a waste of breath, but a few people know who I'm talking about. He's a stupid, lazy, dumbass, homophobic, asshole. I, along with everyone that works there, hate him with a passion. I tried to ignore him and go talk to Heather, but as I walk past him, he says, "Hey Joe, did you enjoy National Coming Out Day?" It took a lot of will power not to just knock the living shit out of him right there. I was so tempted to just punch him in the face. But, I choose the high road and kept walking. First of all, that was yesterday, not today. And how would he know when it was anyways? I honestly think he's so far in the closet that he hasn't even come to terms with it himself yet. So I told my manager and he told me I should have punched him right there on the spot. I have a good relationship with my manager... he likes gay people and hates Tim So he was encouraging me to file a formal sexual harassment charge on Tim because it's not the first comment he's made, and Tim filed a harassment charge on Paul (the manager) before so he wanted revenge, but I held back and just told him to ignore it. Well, I learned a lot today. Not all of it was good, but it's nice to know. Joe (Who's feeling a lot of emotions going through him right now) EDITED TO ADD: So I also found out that the guy I talk with a lot in my Trig class is bi. I thought he was gay, but then dismissed it after he said he had a girlfriend. Who woulda thought he'd be bi

As long as we're signing up for kittens, I'll take the black and white one Joe

Happy Birthday, Dom

Your cats are sluts, Luc! It seems every time I check one of them is having kittens again Joe

This was a Hypothetical Situation

Like the title says... I don't really have anything new to post, but I need to pass time before I head to work, so I decided to write a new entry. Speaking of work, we're finally getting a new person (who starts tonight) to help out. Hopefully that means some of my hours will be cut. I don't like this School, work, home, sleep, repeat crap... it gets rather boring after a while Plus, I don't plan on staying there for too much longer. Though I'd hate to quit and leave everyone there, I really need to find something better. I'll probably wait until December to do that so I can find a day job and then go to college night classes instead, but who knows. Thanks to everyone for the comments on the senior pictures. I don't remember which ones she picked. I think she did the bottom left for both the casual and formal, but I didn't pay attention when she told me. Oops. Once again, thanks to everyone for the help with the 'hypothetical situation' that I posted. An extra thanks to Viv and Jeff for holding the hypothetical friend's pansy-assed hand through it even though the friend decided to suck it up and move on. I honestly hate school right now. The days seem to drag on forever and the weeks never end! Then the weekends are so short because of work that it makes everything even worse. It sucks! The one good thing though, is that I have a sculpture class where the teacher is completely oblivious to anything anyone does on the class. So I made a really cool looking penguin thing for Val for Christmas... I just need to wait until the teacher fires it before I can send it to her I have a real bad cold right now too. And to make it worse, you have to be 18 to buy god damn cold medicine! Stupid laws and their stupid age restrictions. Blah! On a different note, I think I'm being flirted with a lot at school by a girl in one of my classes. I haven't been paying too much attention due to another situation, so I can't say for sure, but I'm almost positive she's been hitting on me for the past week. Oh well... Joe (Who is learning more creative ways to deal with stress)

Though I really don't care about the situation one way or the other and didn't try too hard, but here's a list of just the Republican Sex Scandals:

Hmm, maybe I should consider having another birthday this year just to be 18... But Happy 2nd Birthday, Jared!

Haha! I never watched that movie...

Where does the Watermelon fit into all of this? And thats good that you're getting close to some people and making new friends Joe

So nothing special tonight, but I got my senior picture proof sheets in the mail today. Here's what they looked like: http://www.gayauthors.org/tech/images/scan01.jpg http://www.gayauthors.org/tech/images/scan02.jpg I get to pick one of the plain-clothes to be in the school yearbook and one of the Tux ones for a family deal. I think I'm going to go with the bottom left on the plain-clothes and upper left on the Tux one. Anyways, it's way too late to still be up. School and work tomorrow. What a joy. Joe (Who can't wait until December 21st and there's no more school!)

Hold on a second! Why are we using my name in this? HYPOTHETICAL Situation if you remember Though in the first 3 options Kevin gave, the person who was interested in this 'Adam' (as Vic named him) would have to have the balls to actually talk to him. And that person doesnt have the set of them needed to do such a thing. So, in this hypothetical situation, I think the person would go with Kevin and choose option number 4. Joe

So it's been a while since my last blog and I thought I was over-due for one. Let's see if I still remember how to do this. Hypothetical Situation: There's this guy that you know. You're not friends with him, you haven't talked to him, but you know him. He was in one of your classes and could possibly be classified as a 'friend-of-a-friend'. Now, you know he's gay. Or at least you assume he is from past experiences. So you're into him, you want to ask him out, or hell even just say 'hi'. You f**K up and you don't get the chance because Summer starts. Moving forward a few months, you're back in school again. You aren't in his class, but you see him in the halls sometimes. Turns out, he also lives down the street a ways from you. About a mile... if that. So here's where we get to the 'sticky' part. He shows no interest in you what-so-ever. You assume that he knows you're gay because you basically told him before. You tried (but failed) to make a conversation or make something happen. When you pass each other in the halls, he doesn't show any sign of recognition, no smile, no male 'head nod', nothing... You're very interested in him though. Maybe even too interested for not even really knowing him. What do you do? Do you suck it up, face the rejection you know is coming, and ask him out/talk to him anyways? Do you just burry it, and move on and find someone else? Do you try and 'accidentally' bump into him somewhere else? What would you do? How would you do it? [end Hypothetical Situation] Author's Note: This is pure fiction and does not reflect the author's life in any way *cough* Joe (Who is back to using the one liners at the bottom)

Happy Birthday, Luke May there be many more to come