Crazy. I've no idea what to say. For me, that's crazy. It's easy, isn't, to do stupid things when you're mind's messed like that. I've done kind of a similar thing (much lesser extent) and wondered... was it accidental, or some self destruct mechanism taking over without me consciously being aware of it? that's the feeling I get from this piece - that there's an element of accident and an element of unconscious design. Whatever, I'm glad you are still here to write such a powerful, thought provoking piece of work