The Secret Life of Billy Chase 6 - 43. Chapter 43

Wednesday

- You know....I jacked off this morning while thinking about Sam's dick in my mouth. I have to admit, I kinda miss the taste of him. It's only been a few days, but God...I'm horny for him all over again. I wish he'd stop being such a jackass and CALL me already! I need some lovin'. He's gonna screw around and miss out if he keeps being so stubborn about this.

And to think, he's the one who practically flipped out when Joanna stopped showing him the proper affection.

We had a fire drill today. Dumbest thing ever. They make each and every kid in the whole school get up and walk out to the front lawn...wait for, like, ten minutes, and then go back inside. It's just this total disruption in my day, you know? Like...'great, now I have to go back and think about math for the last six minutes of class after being pulled away from the equations I was working on'. Wonderful.

But I did hear someone calling my name from behind as we were standing out there, and I saw Ian giving me a wave. I went over to say hi, and he basically feels the same way that I do about the fire drill disaster. A real fire might be more entertaining.

I was like, "I wonder what they would do if all the students just left. Hehehe, like if we all just got frustrated and walked away. What would they do? They can't suspend everybody. And there isn't a detention hall big enough to hold us all at once."

Ian said, "Nah, they'd probably haul us all into the gym and detain us on the bleachers. They'd find a way. Good idea though."

I saw him holding a notebook, and it looked like he had a ton of notes scribbled out on the page, along with some stick figure drawings in little boxes. I asked him, "What class is that for?"

He's like, "What? This? Oh...this isn't for a class. It's for the little movie that I wanna make once I get enough money to buy my camera this Summer." The cutest little smile came to his face, and he showed it to me. "Check it out! I'm only about half way through, but I'll be finished soon. I guess you could say that I had a burst of inspiration in the middle of my Spanish class."

I saw guns and explosions and fight scenes on the page and in the descriptions. I said, "Hehehe, it's a little 'ambitious' for a home video, don't ya think?"

He's like, "Hey...gotta think big, right? The details of how to pull it off will come later. Besides, there are a few computer programs that make just about anything possible." Ian paused for a second, then he's like..."Say, I wrote the whole storyline out. Do you wanna read it? I'd love to know what you think of it."

He seemed so anxious about it. I said, "Well...yeah, sure. I'll look at it."

He said, "AWESOME! I need an objective eye." He was already digging around in his backpack for it.

I asked, "Why don't you let Bobby read it?"

He said, "I gave him a copy of it."

I'm like, "What did he say?"

Ian's all like, "He said what he always says whenever I give him something I worked on. Nothing." Arrrgh! That Bobby's getting a punch in the gut the next time I see him! Ian said, "I don't know if he even reads my stuff. But, Billy, if you could just let me know what you think, it would mean the WORLD to me, dude! I kinda live for feedback. Hehehe, what can I say? I'm an artist. I'd rather be deprived of oxygen than feedback."

I smiled, and I think Ian blushed a little bit. You know, I've been trying not to notice for Bobby's sake...but Ian is...really cool. I felt a little bit of a flutter in my stomach. It went away, but his smile is...'pretty'.

Don't worry. I've been down that road before. I know a passing infatuation when I feel one. But....if Bobby and Ian don't work out, which...it looks like they won't...it might be nice to spend a few nights together. Hehehe, just saying. I'd give him a good slobber-sucking! Bobby's too scared to have a boyfriend right now. He should have a few mindless hook ups or something first. Something without any emotional commitment. He can't handle someone like Ian. He's too cute and sweet and Bobby's just wrecking everything. Until he grows a pair and goes for it...I say that Ian's free game. So why not?

We were getting ready to go back inside, and Ian was saying goodbye to me, but I stopped him and asked, "Say...why don't you give me your phone number? I've got a lot of homework tonight, but...I can call you tomorrow and let you know what I think."

He seemed surprised. He's like, "Tomorrow? Hehehe, that'll be quick. I don't think I've ever had someone who wanted to give me their comments on my writing before."

I gave him a flirtatious grin and said, "Well, maybe you're just special then. Hehehe, here. Here's a pen." He wrote down his number for me and we shared another smile before parting ways. That boy looks like such a mouthful. Seriously. It just shows in his build. He's got these broad shoulders and strong legs. You can kinda tell. I think I'm actually salivating right now just thinking about it. I'm not gonna pounce on him or anything. His personality and good looks just...ake me kinda curious. That's all. Hehehe! No harm in that.

Speaking of curious...I saw something in the hallway that intrigued me. Evidently, Stevie's little run-in with the bullies on the stairs the other day was a bit worse off than I could have expected. His face was bashed up pretty badly. He had one hell of a shiner over his left eye, a busted lip, and a bruised cheek. Not so 'pretty' NOW, are you, Stevie? Hey, don't blame me. Blame karma. He had this coming the first time he tried to turn Brandon against me.

I saw Brandon trying to talk to him, but Stevie wouldn't even look him in the eye. I think Brandon was just trying to be nice and comfort him in some weird way. Can't understand why. They're broken up? Why should he care if Stevie took a dive down a flight of steps or not? I don't.

Anyway, at one point, Brandon tried to put a hand on Stevie's shoulder, and Stevie swatted it away. He said, "Don't touch me. Please, don't touch me. Ok?"

And Brandon was like, "Let me help you. Come on, I'm not that heartless."

Stevie's like, "I don't need you to feel any pity for me. Don't waste your energy on me to keep from feeling guilty..."

Brandon told him, "This is NOT about me. Jesus, at least let me take you by the nurse's office or something."

But Stevie kept resisting him, and when he saw me in the hall, he rolled his eyes and walked away in the other direction. Was that supposed to make me feel bad? I certainly hope not. I couldn't give a fuck if he PAID me. Then Brandon came walking towards me, and I really didn't to hear it. So I did exactly what Stevie did. I rolled my eyes, and I walked away. That whole situation has nothing to do with me. I've got better things to worry about. Stevie obviously doesn't want help, and Brandon is obviously still 'attached' to him in some way. So being around either one of them is not going to benefit me in any way. And I'm done dealing with things that don't benefit me. Let them work things out on their own. I always had to do it alone. Now it's their turn. Grow up.

Before leaving for the day, you know what Simon said to me? He actually caught up to me at my locker, and he started by asking me if I had seen Trace. I was like, "No. Trace doesn't feel like talking to me anymore for some reason."

Simon was a bit shocked by my answer, I think. He was like, "It's just...he hasn't shown up for his tutoring sessions the last few days. I was wondering what happened. I can't really keep checking him off on my sheet if he doesn't show up..."

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know what to tell you, Simon. Like I said, he doesn't talk to me. So he's not my problem."

Simon squinted his eyes a bit, and he's like, "What's going on with you? What's happening here?"

I said, "Nothing. You asked me a question, I answered it. What else do you want?"

He's like, "You can stop with the 'force field', Billy. You know that doesn't work with me. Come on, talk to me. This isn't like you at all."

I was frustrated. I just wanted to leave and go home already. AGAIN...none of this was to my benefit. Simon has a problem, Trace has a problem...I don't. So why am I being dragged into this? I said, "I've got an idea...why don't you leave me alone, and go find him yourself. He's got a phone number, you know? How hard is it to call him and find out what's going on with him instead of bugging me about it?"

Simon was slightly appalled by the comment, but he just adjusted his glasses, and said, "Sorry if I 'bothered' you. Listen, when you're done being an asshole, maybe you can talk to me like a normal person."

I said, "Yeah. Great. Fuck you too." Everybody's got an opinion. Like I owe Simon anything. The second he got himself a girlfriend, he vanished on me. It's not like we were hanging out every few days like we used to. If he never talked to me again, how much would I really miss out on? I swear, I need to start my whole circle of friends over from scratch. The ones I had before just aren't doing it for me anymore.

Anyway...I'm gonna go. I'm horny. I'm gonna write Lee an email and see if he can hang out just in case Randall doesn't write me back in time for this weekend. I need some sex. Ugh! Hell, since Jimmy was so self righteous about telling me that I'm basically becoming a slut, I wonder what he would say if I went over to his house and made him an offer. Would he say no? Somehow, I doubt that.

As a species, we're all damaged goods. Why pretend not to be? It's exhausting.

I think I'm more interested in reading Ian's story for his big Summer movie than I am in doing my homework. I think I'm gonna lay back and check that out instead. (While picturing him naked! Hehehe!)

Gotta run! I'll write more later....

-Billy