Standing In Shadows - 19. Chapter 19

SIS 19

The next morning Dad woke me by banging on the door. I groaned rolling over just as he came in. The boxes containing most of my things were taped and in the corner of the room. When I looked up at him he already had his arms crossed over his chest. It was his coaching stance, he always thought it was intimidating and it probably would be if I wasn’t so used to it and too angry with him to care.

“Get your lazy ass up,” he said and I sat up on the edge of the bed.

“Good morning to you too,” I said and scratched my stomach.

“It would be if it wasn’t nearly noon,” he said, “your Mother and I have been busting our asses packing.”

“Why are you in such a hurry?” I asked, “He gave us three weeks.”

“You might not have things to do this summer, but I do,” Dad answered and I could tell that Mom and him had talked this morning about yesterday. He always took his temper out on me, because he couldn’t with Mom. Mom always won the important arguments, but I doubted I could survive those with him.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, hoping to get him out of the room. I had been having a good dream and I was trying to hide the evidence by keeping my legs close together.

“We are going to pack up your trophies and all the big stuff in your room today,” Dad responded and I looked around at my room. The only large things I had were the trophy shelves hanging on the wall and my dresser where my socks and underwear are kept, and my bed.

“Ok,” I grunted and he turned and left my room. I knew better than to lay back down, my morning already ruined by the thought of moving into the trashy apartments in town. The only good part about it was that I could walk to Clinton and Jenny’s houses, they only lived a mile or so out of the square where the apartments were.

He kept me busy, first by shoving a box into my chest labeled “trophies.” I took my time putting all of the trophies I accumulated through the years into the boxes. Unlike Dad’s mine all had a thin layer of dust on them. The game balls I received had lost some of their air and none of them notated why I had received them. In Dad’s room, probably stored away with precious intentions were his trophies. They never had dust or signs of wear. He paid more attention to those than most anything else. To him, those were his proudest memories. I wouldn’t have the trophies at all if Dad hadn’t bought me the shelves specifically for their display. He would have fussed at me if I had put them in the closet with all my other clutter. After they were boxed we packed the shelves into the moving truck parked in our yard. Dad parked it too close to the big oak tree out front and the branches the truck crashed into were broken. A long metallic scratch along the side of the truck made me smile. Dad had rented the truck and damaged it. I wondered if he had even noticed, but he didn’t take any time to look as he turned and stomped back into the house expecting me to follow.

By the time the sun started to set the only thing left in my room was my mattress in the middle of the floor. The room actually looked like a good sized room without the shelves and the dresser. My closet was empty except for a few changes of clothes and a couple of towels. This was all that was left of mine after nearly eighteen years of living here. The hardwood floor was scratched and chipped in places and I could tell where all of my furniture had been arranged. It made my room look skeletal and I hated it as I looked around. There were small cobwebs on the wall where the dresser was. I would have felt embarrassed by all the dust and dirt accumulated behind everything if someone else was here with me. Even Dad hadn’t said much when we moved the dresser and he saw the dirt. It was a house that was lived in. This house was older than a lot of the houses in town by decades. The thought of it being destroyed like the store and a new country club built in its place angered me. The only thought that kept me from losing it completely, was that Cj’s Dad was actually saving us from falling into debt further. He didn’t have to pay much for the property, he probably knew we’d take any offer as long as we broke even. Then again, he’ll get most of it back in rent.

“Corey!” Dad bellowed from somewhere in the house. I heard the echo of the emptiness. I walked out of my room and saw him standing in the empty living room. I hadn’t seen Mom all day. She wasn’t here when Dad woke me up and Dad never said where she had gone. Most of the words that passed between us were him ordering me to do something and me nodding my head letting him know that I heard him.

“Yeah?” I asked and his eyebrows shot up expecting me to put a ‘sir’ at the end, but the room fell silent.

“I’m supposed to ask you how your arm is before we drive over to the apartments to start unloading, but I expect your ass to help me anyway,” he said and I glanced down at my cast. It was dirty and my arm around it was sweaty. It was starting to stink, but I should be getting it changed soon, it wasn’t my first cast. I could hear Mom’s voice lecturing Dad on taking it easy with me and my arm was aching and the cast didn’t feel like it fit exactly right anymore.

“Ok, I’m ready,” I said and he glanced at my broken arm before he walked out the front door. I sighed and followed him, not taking a moment to look around. I didn’t want to pay much attention or commit the emptiness to memory. As much as I was ashamed of this small house in the middle of nowhere, so many memories were tied to it. Memories that I wasn’t ashamed of and most I even liked. I was young when we moved the first time and apart from a few nights sleeping between Dad and Mom in their bed, I didn’t remember much of it.

When we stepped outside Jenny’s car was parked in the road, just behind the moving truck. Dad glanced over his shoulder at me, but I shrugged not knowing why Jenny was here until I saw Jenny arranging something in her arms. When the door opened and a little dog bounced out of the car tethered to the leash Jenny bought for me I groaned. I had forgotten all about telling Jenny that I would stop by and get my little fluffy brown puppy back. I said it in a moment of bravery and anger. Angry that Dad had decided that I couldn’t have her and the motorcycle. Now looking at her struggling against the leash to get to me my heart was torn and I was a little bit afraid.

“What a surprise Jenny,” Dad said, his fake charm only visible through a smile. I could see the vein popping out on his forehead though and feared the explosion.

“Hi Coach Wells,” Jenny greeted then looked behind him to where I was standing. “Corey, when you said you were coming over to get your puppy, I got kinda worried when you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” I grunted wanting to bolt, but I had nowhere to go.

“I already told Corey that the dog wasn’t going,” Dad said, turning slightly so that he could see both Jenny and I. “Now tell Jenny that the dog can’t stay.”

“Why can’t she stay Dad?” I asked, my voice cracking from the knot that was forming in my throat. Dad knew why my voice cracked. When I was too nervous or about the cry a knot would form in my throat. The more nervous or close to tears I got, the more my voice failed. Soon all I’ll be able to muster is a meek whisper and Dad would just yell at me to speak up.

“The apartment is no place for a dog,” Dad growled, “now stop this bullshit we don’t have a lot of daylight left.”

“Mom said I could keep her,” I countered coughing, trying to get the knot to subside before I started whispering. The cold glare he shot me only made it worse though.

“And I said no,” he said, I could hear the challenge in his voice. I glanced at Jenny, my face hot, my eyes blurred with unshed tears. I looked down at Trouble, who had her head cocked to the side still waiting for her chance to get to me. She wasn’t scared, even though Dad had raised his voice and stopped the pretenses he set up for Jenny.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered and closed the distance. Trouble immediately tried to jump into my arms when I knelt down on the grass. Her little claws were leaving tiny white scratches on my knee cap that were already beginning to burn as the sweat from the day got into them. With my face lowered I didn’t fight the tears.

“All this over a stupid dog,” Dad hissed and I heard him walking away.

“If I knew...” Jenny started as she sat down on the grass in front of me. “It’s not fair.”

“Not fair for her,” I said, letting Trouble chew on my cast. I reached up and wiped my tears away in one frustrated motion. “Here I am almost eighteen years old and crying over a puppy.”

“I think it’s sexy,” Jenny smirked and we both looked at Trouble fuss over me like she hadn’t saw me in years and not just a few hours. I gave a disheartened laugh.

“Will you make sure she gets a nice home?” I asked, finally taking my eyes off Trouble to look at Jenny.

“Her home is with you,” she whispered looking over at Dad standing by the moving truck. He looked disgusted, probably at my weakness.

“No it’s not,” I said, “please find her another home.”

“Corey, no,” she countered then looked over at Dad again. I thought for a second that she was going to walk up to him and demand that I keep her. Jenny barely came to his elbows and one of his legs probably outweighed her. I could see the determination though. She was bringing Trouble home to me and wasn’t planning on leaving with her.

“He’ll punch me,” I said, “or something, it’s always been his way.”

“Then at least you’ll know you tried,” she said and I raised my eyebrows. She wanted me to stand up for myself. Something I never did with him. Dads were always right, that’s how I was raised. Unless Moms overruled them, but Mom wasn’t here and daylight was fading. Trouble let out a playful bark that startled me and I looked down at her expectant eyes, she wanted me to play with her, pay her some attention. She didn’t know what was going on, but to me her eyes told me that she did.

“Please try to see where all of my teeth hit the ground,” I said and I opened my hand and Jenny handed me the leash. Trouble didn’t know how to walk on a leash, but she was too light and was willing enough to follow me, even though she flopped around some when she felt the tension. Dad noticed me walking with Trouble and started shaking his head. I saw the explosion in his eyes.

“You’re not leaving here with this dog,” Dad said, “now we can do this the easy way or I can embarrass the hell out of you.”

“Dad,” I said, the weakness in my voice threatening to come back. “I’m keeping the dog, she’s my responsibility, I took her.”

“There is no room for that damn dog,” Dad said as he pushed himself off the moving truck and stood with his arms crossed a few inches from where I was standing. As long as his arms stayed crossed, I knew he wasn’t going to hit me. He hadn’t ever hit me apart from the spankings I got and deserved. This would be different though. I was too old for spankings. “I said all I’m going to say.”

“I’m going to keep her,” I said and I saw his arms uncross and his face redden. I felt his hands wrap roughly around my arms just beneath my shoulders, pinning them to my sides, and I knew there would be bruises.

“Don’t you fucking talk back to me,” he growled, his face inches from mine. I felt his breath and spit from his clenched teeth as he hissed through them. “Don’t piss me off.”

“Coach Wells,” Jenny started, but Dad shot her a look and she stopped in her tracks, holding out her hand. She looked at me as my broken arm started throbbing with pain and added pressure.

“She’s just a puppy,” I whimpered, my voice failing me completely. I shut my eyes expecting the punch then felt his hands on my chest and he shoved me with enough force I left the ground completely and landed on my back. The fall knocked the wind out of me and I opened my eyes only to see him retreating around the front of the moving truck.

“Move your damn car Jenny,” he ordered as he climbed into the truck and slammed the door so hard the entire truck rattled. Jenny was torn for a second on whether to come to me or move her car, but Dad revved the engine and we heard the gears grind as he put the truck in reverse. She turned and sprinted down to her car and drove it up into the yard and out of his way. Then she got out, leaving her door open and started running towards me. I sat up and saw that for the first time Trouble was scared and huddled up against me trying to bury her head. I was just now starting to find my breath when we heard the beeping warning of the truck backing up. Then Dad shoved the truck into drive and sped off as fast as the bulky white moving truck could go. I wondered if any of our things would survive the trip and what Mom would say if all of her plates were broken.

“I am so sorry Corey,” Jenny said fussing over me, “your cast is totally broken.”

“Is it?” I said and looked down, I saw that it was cracked and expanded in three spots. I held my arm to my chest as Jenny took the leash from me.

“I never saw him like that, not even at your practices,” Jenny said as she pulled up my sweaty t-shirt and we both saw the perfect handprints wrapped around my arm. Then I jumped as she pulled up my shirt and started prodding my chest with her fingers.

“What are you doing?” I asked and she glanced up at me.

“I’m looking for bruised or broken ribs, you looked like you got hit by a truck or something,” she answered then stopped when I started laughing. “What in the hell is so funny, I’m freaking out!”

“I stood up to him,” I said looking up at the sky, orange and purple as evening set in.

“Well don’t do it again!” She squealed, “we better get you to the hospital, if it gets too late the bone doctor will already be gone and it’s expensive if they call him back in.”

“Ok,” I said and she helped me to my feet. We walked to her car. I was about to say something about how dirty and how much I stunk, but the adrenaline was starting to leave my body and the pain was starting to set back in.

Trouble rode in my lap. I let her chew on my cast and it distracted me from the shooting pain up my arm. It had me worried that I did more damage to my bones than was already done. Jenny kept glancing at me every time I winced. I wanted to tell her that I was fine, but the pain wouldn’t allow it.

“I should have kept my big mouth shut,” she blurted out, the silence finally getting the better of her. “Mom always tells me that I’m too much of a busy body, too nosey, that it’s unbecoming of a lady.”

“It’s not your fault,” I offered, nearly laughing if the pain in my arm would have allowed me.

“The hell it ain’t,” she said and that’s when I noticed that she was crying. “He could have hurt you, for a second there I thought he was going to beat you!”

“He’s still my Dad,” I said, “he wasn’t going to hurt me too bad, I’m his star Quarterback.”

“Not with a broken arm you aren’t,” she said, “don’t you dare defend him.”

“I’m not,” I said, “I just knew what would happen and you didn’t.”

“Which makes it my fault,” she countered and I carefully put my arm down in my lap and slid my left hand across the divider and offered her my hand.

“It’s not your fault,” I said and she put her hand in mine. It was cold from the air conditioner.

After I took her hand she stopped crying. We were in town now and she had to focus on what little traffic there was and the few traffic lights between us and the hospital. The street lights were already on, which made it seem later than it was when we pulled into the hospital. Jenny got out and ran over to my side of the car as I struggled with the seat belt and Trouble as she was excited that the trip was over. Jenny took the leash when Trouble jumped out of the car. Then she bent over me and unhooked the seat belt before I had time to. I tried not to notice that her boobs were in my face. She was still frantic as I slid out of the car and she closed the door behind me. We walked through the automatic doors, the cold air knocking the breath out of me, even though it was a short walk from the air conditioned car to here. The summer air had baked me all day.

“Ma’am unless the dog is a service dog, and I doubt it is since it is just a puppy, it has to wait outside,” the front receptionist said. We both looked down at Trouble and I saw Jenny throw her free hand in the air.

“Sorry, I’m just all over the place,” she said, “I’ll wait outside and call your Mom.”

“Ok,” I said and Jenny turned and led Trouble through the doors, careful not to snag Trouble in the automatic doors.

“Now, Corey,” the receptionist said as her eyes took me in. “Is your arm hurting?”

“Yeah,” I answered, “I fell and broke my cast.”

“Oh, well you need to be more careful,” she said smiling at me, her voice light. “Your Mom was in here earlier getting your address updated.”

“I figured,” I said, leaning against the cool brick wall. The pain and exhaustion starting to wear on me.

“I can’t believe she sold the store,” she said, “I was here when your Mom worked as a part-time nurse on weekends. She took an application, but we’re not hiring right now.”

“That’s disappointing, she feels bad not having a job,” I said as the woman filled out my information on the computer.

“How long has it been since you fell?” She asked and I looked at the clock, not really knowing so I went by how long it usually took to get to town from my house.

“About twenty minutes,” I said shrugging, “I don’t really know.”

“That’s alright dear,” she soothed looking over me in that pitiful sort of way people did when they tried to sooth people in pain, but not serious enough to warrant quick action. “I’ve notified the doctor, he’ll be out shortly.”

“Thanks,” I said and was just about to sit when the doctor came out of the doors and looked me over.

“Hi Corey, follow me and let’s get that arm fixed back,” he said with a smile. He wasn’t the doctor that first examined me, but I knew there were different ones on shifts here. This one didn’t look old enough, but doctors never really made me nervous. I did find myself wishing Mom was at least with me when I followed him back to an examining room. There was a small saw plugged into the wall and a nurse was waiting. She took the usual stats as the doctor reviewed my previous x-rays.

“Quite the break,” he said and I looked at the two broken bones in my arm. It would be a year before I was completely back to full strength, definitely not in playing shape. I would be in college. The thought of college made my stomach drop, I didn’t even know if that was possible any more.

“I guess so,” I said and he turned and picked up the small saw.

“Try not to move,” he said, then turned the saw on. The nurse held my arm as he cut through the plaster, but not the cotton padding underneath. When he was done with the saw, the nurse took scissors and cut the padding, then she gently pulled it off.

“Boys are a lot worse on these than girls,” she said as she examined the dirt and the breakage.

“Alright, let’s get a look at this arm,” the doctor said smiling at what the nurse said. I had forgotten all about Dad grabbing me until he raised up my shirt sleeve. He was going to roll it up to let the nurse scrub, but he held it there and then before I had time to react reached over and lifted the other sleeve. Then he let my sleeves fall and looked back over at my chart.

“What happened?” The nurse asked, she had seen the red marks as well.

“It says you fell in the note Ms. Crowley filled out,” he said looking at me for an explanation.

“I was in a fight,” I offered and he shot the nurse a look that told me that he didn’t believe me. I couldn’t bring myself to say what really happened, but I knew if I wasn’t honest the more trouble I’d be in.

“Not much of a fight,” he said, “there’s no busted lip or black eyes, looks like you were grabbed, hard.”

“Look, I’m almost eighteen years old,” I said, “I just had an argument with my dad, it’s no big deal.”

“Let’s prepare another x-ray to make sure,” the Doctor ordered and the nurse left the room. Then he turned back to me and lifted up my sleeves again. “I doubt there are anymore breaks, since you are older with good muscle tone. We usually see breaks in younger children.”

“I’m not being abused,” I said wanting to laugh, but the look he gave me had me chewing on the inside of my cheek instead.

“I’m going to take your shirt off, ok?” He asked, “are you fond of this t-shirt?”

“It’s just an old t-shirt,” I said shrugging.

“Do you think we can get it off without having to cut it, how much pain are you in?” He asked and I looked down at my dirty white t-shirt, covered in drying sweat. Then I grabbed the bottom of it while the doctor held my broken arm still and we got it over my head and other arm. Then he gently slid it off. He laid it behind me and I saw him studying me with a serious expression on his face.

“I’m ok,” I said and he pointed to my chest.

“Those two marks on your chest will be bruises too,” he said, “has anyone besides your Dad been notified?”

“My friend said she was going to call my Mom,” I answered, then the door opened and I saw Mom gently elbow past the nurse that was in the room earlier.

“What in God’s name happened?” She asked, her eyes wide, looking at me and not over my body. Then her eyes fell to my broken arm, still being steadied by the doctor. I was about to cry again, feeling like a complete baby for being this weak as her eyes fell on the hand prints just below my shoulders and the two marks his palm made when they collided with my chest when he pushed me.

“It’s ok Mom,” I said, “I’m just here to get a new cast put back on, the other one cracked.”

“That’s what Jenny told me,” she said, but her voice was frantic and hinted at Jenny telling her the entire story.

“We’ll get the arm stabilized first,” the Doctor said, “then we’ll tackle the marks and bruises.”

“Yes we will Doctor, thank you,” Mom said, shooting a glance at me. Then Mom held my arm as the Doctor and nurse scrubbed the sweat and dirt off before placing the clean padded glove over my hand and arm. Then he wetted the plaster wrap and rewrapped my broken arm. The pain relief was instant now that the bones were being supported the right way.

“Now you’re going to tell us what happened,” Mom said, “don’t leave anything out.”

“Fine,” I said and told her about us moving what was left inside the house out to the moving truck, then Jenny showing up with Trouble. The nurse laughed at my choice of name, which caused Mom to smile, but she knew what was coming. I told them from the night before how I told Jenny that I would be around to pick her up, but forgot when we were moving things out of the house. Then I watched as Mom’s eyes filled with tears when I had to tell her and the Doctor how I got the bruises. I felt close to crying myself when she launched herself at me and wrapped me into a careful hug. Not caring that the Doctor was there and probably still had questions. I jumped when Mom started kissing my cheek then patted both my arms where the larger hand prints were.

“Mrs. Wells,” the Doctor interrupted and Mom looked over at him. “Corey hasn’t been here before over suspicions of abuse, so I’m thinking this was an isolated incident.”

“It will be the last, I assure you Doctor,” Mom said and I never heard her use the tone that she did, but I saw the anger through the tears that broke my heart. The strongest person I could ever see cry had been crying a lot lately and mostly because of me.

“We’ll keep these on record,” he said and Mom nodded and looked over at me.

“Can I go now?” I asked and Mom shot me a look.

“Are you feeling pain in your upper arms or chest?” He asked, “I’d really like to x-ray both.”

“Do it Corey,” Mom ordered and I sighed sliding off the table. I followed the nurse to the x-ray room and laid down as she took a few x-rays zeroed in on my chest and then on both of my arms. Then we waited for them to be developed.

When they were put up on the lit backdrop my Mom sighed with relief before the Doctor got through examining all of them. I didn’t have any other injuries, but Mom fussed over me as I got to the car. Jenny was already gone.

“I’m getting Trouble in the morning,” she said, “and I want you to stay at a friend’s house tonight.”

“Mom,” I groaned, but didn’t really feel brave enough to meet Dad either.

“No, I’m serious,” she said, “your father is about to learn a lesson.”

“Be careful, please,” I said and Mom reached over and stroked my cheek and smiled that tight smile that Mothers always use to cover up their worry. I knew Dad well enough that he wouldn’t hurt Mom. He taught me to never hit a woman, so I knew he would never raise a hand to her. It wasn’t that I was worried about though. It was her happiness that always seemed to be tested. With Dad, the move, and losing the store. Having to move her family into an old apartment building, because we didn’t have the money to go anywhere else. Not having a job and no prospects. What the receptionist told me stung worse now, looking at Mom, than it did when she first told me in the waiting room and it seemed that all either me or Mom could do was worry about the other.

“So, which friend do you want to call?” She asked, but only one name came to mind ever since she told me I would be staying with someone else and for the first time today, that I can remember anyway, I felt myself smile.