Shadow of my Father - 20. Chapter 20

(ERIC'S POINT OF VIEW)

After school I found Bernice at the school parking lot waiting for me. She didn't see me coming, so I ran up right behind her to surprise her. I couldn't believe how far she jumped, or should I say how high she jumped, when I put my hands over her eyes and yelled out a dark bark.

Bernice turned around and started hitting me over and over again. Calling me every curse word in the book, I never knew she had a mouth on her like that. I could do nothing more than laugh as she kept hitting me.

“Come on Bernice, you know I was just playing, so please settle down. Now I know not to ever sneak up behind you again and try to scare you. Let's just go ahead over to my house starts to study.”

Bernice reluctantly stopped hitting me and that is when I took her hand in mine. All the way to my house we held hands and talked about how our day went. Eventually the conversation got around to the subject of us telling Josh and the guys about us.

I agreed with Bernice it is time to tell Josh so we didn't need sneak and hide anymore. I just wish I was there when Bernice and Josh had THIS conversation! Simply put, Josh my best friend I should have been there.

Instead of getting into a fight with Bernice I just dropped the subject. It’s over and done with and there is nothing I can do to go back and be in the room while the conversation is happening. There is no need to fight about something that can’t be corrected or changed. It's like that old saying about beating a dead horse.

As soon as we got to my house we went into the living room and laid out books. Immediately we started to study and get our homework done. I am hoping that Bernice and I can have some spare time before father arrives to be together alone.

You know just her and me in front of the TV, cuddling, and maybe a little kissing. I know she is not ready for anything more than that and to tell you the truth neither am I. I don't want to rush her into something that she may regret later on.

It didn't take long for us to complete homework assignments and my wish came true. My mother brought out sodas and chips for us to drink and eat as we watch TV. I know my mother is really checking up on the girl I brought home.

We actually had the entire living room to ourselves for almost an hour but we didn't do anything more than kiss and cuddle. At one point Bernice actually moved in between my legs so I could wrap my arms around her. I love feeling her heartbeat as she lay against my chest.

When Bernice's father pulled up and honked his horn I couldn't believe it is ready time for her to go home. Both of us reluctantly got up, gathered our books, and walked as slowly as we could to the door. Trying to get as much more time together as possible!

I can’t believe how nervous I am about meeting Bernice's father. The whole way from my front door to her car felt to me like a dead man walking to the electric chair. What worries me the most is her father being a priest.

We walked up to the car and Bernice's father got out. I walked up to him with Bernice on my side shaking from head to toe. I know Bernice and her father both can tell I am very nervous about meeting him.

“Dad this is Eric, Eric this is my dad Sergio Gomez.”

I extend my shaking hand to shake his. “Mr. Gomez it is an honor and a pleasure to meet you Sir! I can't tell you how much I have wanted to meet Bernice's family. I know right now is only you but I hope soon I can meet the entire family.”

“Eric I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I am not “mister”, I am a priest so you are call me Father Gomez. The black suit and white collar I am wearing should give that away don't you think?”

I looked down to my feet and then up to Bernice trying to figure out what to say. I know he doesn't mean to be mean or rude. He is trying to get his point across. Without a doubt I got what he is trying to say.

“Father Gomez please I am sorry for disrespecting you, I never meant to do that. I am very nervous and I know that is no excuse for what I just said. I promise to always call you father not mister.”

Father Gomez started to laugh and I had no idea why. “Every time I meet someone new in my daughter’s life, I pull this same joke on them. And every one of you falls for it every single time. Please Eric just call me Sergio. There’s no need to be formal.”

I actually breathed a little after Bernice's father explained it was all just a joke. I hugged Bernice and helped her into the car as her father got in. I said goodbye to Bernice and her father as they drove off.

I walked back in to my house thinking how cool Bernice's father is. To tell you the truth, I have never met a priest that likes to fool people. It actually brings a new light on the way I think about priests. They are not all bad, old, old grumpy old men.

(CHRIS'S POINT OF VIEW)

As I walked into my house I didn't recognize the car that is in the driveway. I really didn't pay much attention to it until I opened the door and saw my father actually sitting in the living room talking to the Coach.

The minute I walked through the door of the living room my father just looked up at me. I can’t believe the Coach is actually talking to him. After everything he has done to me, he is actually sitting here in this house talking and waiting for me.

“Coach what is going on? Why is he here? I thought he was not allowed to be around me until he finishes whatever the courts told him to do. Even then he needs to go to the courts in order to see me. I don’t want to see him for no reason at all, even if he is dying.”

The Coach in my dad just looked at me as I spoke. At this point I can’t even stand the sight of my father. I don’t understand why even the Coach would invite him into his house. Knowing my father he is up to no good and that is the plain honest truth.

“Look son I was just here talking to Mr. Montoya about how I can start seeing you. I know I have a lot to do to gain your trust again. All I can ask for now is that you trust that I am trying my best change and understand your life.”

“Dad, you have had many, many, I mean many years to understand my life. Instead you sat in the house, drinking night and day, and then beat on me whenever you felt like it. So forgive me for saying I don’t trust a word that is coming out of your mouth.”

At that point Nancy walked in to see what is going on. She just looked at me then over to her husband and then over to my father and gave him a dirty look. I know for sure Nancy doesn’t like my father at all and I thought the Coach didn't like him either.

“Look everyone, let’s settle down, take a seat, and talk like grown-ups. The reason your father is here Chris is to talk about guardianship. None of us wants to involve the courts because we don’t know how the court is going to rule. Your father might get you back, or he might get partial visitation rights or nothing at all. Nancy and I don't want to lose you Chris. We have gotten so used to having you here and want to keep you.”

“Once again with all due respect, I would rather take my chances with the courts than spend a day with my father by choice. You never lived in that house with my father as I did. The day that you walk in my shoes, get treated the way my father treated me, then and only then you can sit there and tell me this is the best way to handle this.”

“Chris I have been going to the class the court made me go to and I have found that I treated you really bad as you grew up. I am asking you to give me another chance to show you I have changed and will treat you right.

I should have never blamed you for your mother's death or for the life I have led. You have nothing to do with the way I lead my life or your mother passing away. For that I know I will never get your forgiveness.”

I just sat there and couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my father’s mouth. I know my father better than anyone in this world and I know he is lying right to my face. No one can believe a person can change in less than three months like he claims he has changed.

I know Nancy and Coach know what I'm about to say. They have never come out and asked me, but I know they know. Because I am so hard headed and refused to live the truth, I lost my true love.

I threw caution to the wind and started to put it out there; “You have said that you have changed, but let's be honest with each other here. There is no way you have changed to the point you can accept me as your son and my being gay. Dad that is what I am. I am gay and there’s no way you can deal with that.”

The look that went across my father’s face is of total disgust. All of a sudden my father jumped up from the couch and ran over to where I am standing. I had no time to react to his reaction to what I just said. He started whaling on me. All I could do is curl up in a ball on the floor of the living room.

As my father beat me, he kept yelling out that he won’t have a fag for a son. The hits kept coming harder and harder and I didn’t know if the hits will ever stop. At this point all I know all is that Nancy and the Coach are seeing the true colors of my father as he continues hitting me.

I started hearing Nancy in the background yelling at my dad to stop hitting. If she was not yelling at my dad, she is yelling at the Coach to get my dad off of me. To tell you the truth I don’t know how long my dad was hitting me when the Coach finally pulled him off.

Once Coach pulled my dad off of me, he actually dragged my dad all the way out the front door. Nancy right away ran up to me, with her shirt, she started to wipe away the blood that was coming down my face. To tell you the truth, I don’t know where the blood is actually coming from. The only thing I know for sure is that I am bleeding and bleeding a lot.

When Coach returned, he helped me up on the floor and walked me to a chair in the kitchen. At the same time Nancy went to go get a first aid kit. I know that Coach and Nancy are worried, because the way they're running around the house.

“Chris I honestly thought that your dad actually changed, but I was wrong. I need to take pictures of what he just did to you. That way when we go to court and fight him for custody, we have one more tool to use against him.”

I have no objection to taking pictures; in fact I want them to. Just like the Coach said, a picture speaks louder than words. This way when we walk into court he can’t say he never was at his house or did what he did! Now that I think about it, we need to call the police and make a police report.

“Coach, one thing I have learned in the past when dealing with my father is not to make any mistakes. What I mean by that is that I never call to police when he beat me. The result of not doing that is there is nothing documented about what he did to me. We need to call the police and actually get this documented with them as well.”

Nancy and the Coach didn’t disagree with me. As the Coach took pictures, Nancy called for the police. Less than five minutes later the police arrived. When they knocked on the door, Nancy went to go answer it.

To my surprise my father didn't leave yet. In fact he didn't even get out of the front yard. What a stupid fuck of a person he is for not leaving as quickly as possible. As one of the police officers was inside taking our statements, the other officer is outside arresting my father. I’d like to see him get out of this one as quickly as he did with the other beatings he gave me.

The police gave Nancy a number for her to call to get a copy of the police report. They told her that when she goes and picks up the police report that they will return the photos just taken of me after they make copies. Nancy agreed.

I know I provoked my father when I said what I did. I wanted to do that because he was actually pulling wool over Coaches face! My father won’t accept me for who I am. I am barely accepting who I am and I'm living the life!

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

After the incident yesterday morning I pretty much kept myself. I didn't get any repercussions in class yesterday, but today is a different story. Major Moore is running around like a chicken with its head cut off getting ready for inspection that might or might not happen. He should realize my father is actually too busy right now getting ready for his inauguration.

“Major Moore, may I speak with you Sir?” I asked as I walked up to him at the desk. When I stopped, that is when he looked up at me.

“Josh with all due respect I need to get ready for the inspection that your dad is going to make. I spoke with Col. May yesterday he wants me to make sure we pass the inspection the General makes.”

“Major Moore you know as well as anyone in this building knows that my father has no time to inspect anything right now. He is so busy getting ready to take over the Governorship that he really doesn't have any time to spare.

Major Moore, I will be talking to my father as soon as he gets home. I will let him know that the majority of what happened yesterday was my fault. I can admit when I am in the wrong, like yesterday even if it means I get punished for it.”

Major Moore just looked at me like I had totally lost my mind. I may not like this class, but I won’t ruin it for those who do. There is no doubt if my father comes down for inspection, the unit will fail. Not that the unit is a bad one, my father will hold it up to the standards that he holds his to.

“Josh I won’t lie to you, I don't want this inspection. We are not ready for any kind of surprise inspection and to get ready for any kind of inspection will cost this unit money it doesn't have.

So if you want to do this from the kindness of your heart, I'm fine with it but if you're going to do this and suspect some kind of payback in return, then just forget it. Not even my battalion staff, officers, drill team, or rifle team gets any kind of special treatment.”

“Trust me, Major Moore I am doing this through the kindness of my heart. All that I am asking in return is you treat me like every other cadet in this unit. I will always do what you, Sgt. Haney, or any cadet above me asks me to do. That’s it; nothing more, nothing less.”

“That sounds fair to me Josh. I can live with that if you can. Whatever you can do to talk to your father and keep him from coming down here and giving us a surprise inspection will be helpful.”

You know I have done nice things in the past for my friends, family, and even strangers, but to do this for Major Moore is actually making me feel like I belong to this Battalion for the very first time since I joined.

As I walked away from Major Moore he didn't stop getting ready for the inspection. I think he is thinking better safe than sorry. Or he may not trust me with what I promised him I am going to do. Whatever the reason is, I am going to prove to him I am a man of my word.

Since I am no longer studying with Bernice, Cesar and I walk to my house and study. I am hoping today we do more than study. Don't get me wrong I do like the kissing and the cuddling we do, but I have teenage hormones that need to be taken care of.

Where I used to meet Bernice is where I meet Cesar now. Cesar met me halfway between the Main building and Schuster Street. Once we got several blocks away from the school I grabbed hold of Cesar's hand as we walked. We really didn’t say much to each other all the way to my house.

I think one of the reasons we really didn’t speak is that Cesar still hasn't gotten used to the guard detail following us. And to tell you the truth I still haven't gotten used to having those shadows around me all the time. Once we get to my house and up to my room, there is no one to bother us.

Like the day before we immediately started studying and doing homework and this time I actually finished before he did. So I moved across the bed until I reached Cesar. I looked over his shoulder as he was doing is biology homework. We have the same classes but not at the same time or the same teachers so our homework is never the same and I think that’s pretty weird.

I know Cesar knows I am looking over his shoulder right now. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head towards mine. He was practically looking up when our lips touched. One thing about Cesar is that he likes it when I take control.

As we kiss I move my hands down his chest until I reach his waist. I jiggle a little on his belt before I move my hand to his shirt. I grab hold of the bottom of his shirt and started moving it up towards his neck.

With one hand I held onto his shirt in the other hand I started to massage his chest moving from one nipple to the other. I can’t believe what I'm seeing in his pants. I can actually me outline of his dick, and it's actually jumping around trying to get free.

I know I don't have that much time before my grandmother calls me down for dinner and when Cesar has to leave, so I don't waste any time. I let go of his shirt and make my way back to his waist.

I don't bother stop at his belt, I went straight for what I want. I put my right hand down on his lap and felt his dick. I actually wrapped my hand around his dick through his Levi's. I want more! I want to see his dick!

I stumble around trying to get the zipper of his Levi's down and with a little help Cesar gave me I actually got his zipper down. Without skipping a beat I put my hands into his pants and pulled out his dick. I can’t believe how huge Cesar’s cock is when it’s hard. The thing actually reaches up past his belly button.

I didn't want Cesar's pants to get messed up so I went ahead and undid his belt and his button to his Levi's. With Cesar’s help I pulled down his pants and underwear past his knees. I got up from my bed and walked around to face Cesar.

Not even warning him I went between his legs and put his dick into my mouth. At first I couldn’t get it entirely into my mouth but after maybe five minutes or so I actually got his entire throbbing manhood in my mouth. The taste of his pre cum is a treat all of it’s own.

I started to pull up and down on Cesar and all he could do is moan. At one point I actually took my left hand and covered his mouth because he was actually getting very loud. I surely didn't want any of my family and all to know what is going on in my room!

I think or should I say I know that Cesar is actually as horny as I am because it didn't take long before he started yelling that he is about to cum. At one point he actually tried to pull my mouth off of his dick.

“Josh please I am about to explode. Please Josh, please I am…….”

That was it. He started shooting into my mouth. Since I am no expert doing this I actually lost more than I swallowed. I don't know how much he shot, but it had to be a lot because the amount that escaped my mouth looks like a lot and I know that I swallowed at least half of it.

I let Cesar's dick slip out of my mouth as I got up and sat on his left hand side. I look over to him and see that his face actually red. Seeing that I couldn’t help but think how much redder his face will get when we actually have sex.

I leaned back against the headboard and closed my eyes reveling in moment that just happened between Cesar and me. All of a sudden I felt Cesar's hands on my dick. I right away opened my eyes to look over to Cesar, but the instant I turned to look at Cesar his lips touched mine.

I don't know how he got my zipper down and my dick out, but he did. The minute my dick was free, Cesar broke the kiss and moved down to my dick. I know for fact it is not going to take me long to hit climax especially with how fast Cesar is going.

Just as I reached my climax, just like Cesar did to me, I warned him I am about to shoot. Just like me Cesar didn't release my dick. The big difference between him and me is that none of my cum dripped out of his mouth.

Once I finished shooting Cesar releases my dick and let it fall against my stomach. Now we are both sitting against the bed on the floor with our dicks in the air. I really hope no one walks into my room right now!

The minute I caught my breath I got up from the floor and walk over to my closet getting a towel. After cleaning myself off I handed the towel over to Cesar. As he cleaned himself up I pulled my underwear and pants back up.

I went back and sat down against the bed waiting for Cesar to join me. As he was cleaning himself all he turned around and I saw his butt for the first time. It took every ounce of power in my body not to get off the floor and put my face in between his butt cheeks. My dick got hard instantly once again.

Cesar pulled up his underwear and pants and walked over to me and sat on the floor right beside me. We just looked at each other and started to laugh. I grabbed a hold of his biology book and helped him finish his homework.

Just like the day before I asked him to stay for dinner, but he said no. His parents demand that he eats dinner at home with them every evening. There’s no exception to that rule. So with a sad heart I walked Cesar to the door and bid him goodbye with one final kiss.

Right as we sat down to begin to eat I heard the front door opened and shut. At first we each looked at each other not knowing what just walked through the front door. It can’t be anyone to do us harm because of the guard detail that is outside.

Since it looks like Daniel or Carlos aren’t budging to see who it is. I decided to see. I got up from the table and walked to the entrance of the dining room and the hallway. I didn't make it into the hallway when my father walked through the other entrance.

Without being asked my grandmother instantly got up and went to the kitchen to get another plate and soda for my dad. Once we were all served my dad explained why he is back so early.

After he told us what happened to him down in Austin, we just looked at each other. Now I need to start watching the news whenever my father isn’t around. It seems I'm missing a shit load of stuff and it’s not boring stuff either!

The rest of the week went by pretty fast. Before we knew it, Friday is here. During lunch Patrick pulled me to the side. Whatever is on his mind looks like it's beating him up inside. I hope Patrick tells me about whatever is bothering him.

(PATRICK'S POINT OF VIEW)

The day that Bernice and Eric told the guys about them going out, I lost my nerve to tell Josh about me and Frank. Every time I see Frank he has his look of being hurt. I know he really wants to rejoin the group.

So I decided as I walked to school this morning and that today is going to be the day I sit down and tell Josh the whole truth. If anyone at the table can understand where I'm coming from, it will be him. The reason I say that is because he has been where I am right now; afraid of my own shadow when it comes down to my relationship with Frank.

During breakfast we were joking around with each other. I lost track of time and before I knew it the first Bell rang to get to class. Now I'm will have to wait until lunchtime. I know Frank isn't too happy with me right now because I keep delaying the talk with Josh.

When the third period bell rang I literally jumped out of my seat. Everyone looked over at me like I'd lost my mind. There is no doubt my face turned all sorts of red. I am so nervous about what I'm about to do.

I went to my locker to put my books away and then headed to the cafeteria. I walked past Frank on the way over to the cafeteria. I looked over to him and gave him a nod to let him know I am about to talk to Josh.

Just like during breakfast everyone is joking around with each other. I need to get this over and done with as soon as possible. There is no way I can walk around another day with Frank mad with me.

I leaned over to Josh and whispered in his ear. “Hey do you think I can talk with you in private before the bell rings?” Josh nodded his head yes.

We got up and walked to put our trays away and then we walked outside. Once I felt sure no one could hear what I am talking to Josh about we stopped. I just looked at Josh at first rubbing my head and then crossed my feet.

“Josh I know what I’m about to say might get you mad, but please let me finish. I have been lying to you and everyone at the table since I met you guys. I think that you and the others will stop being my friends once you find out the truth about me.

You know when I introduced Frank as a friend? I lied and when I told you guys that he and I are no longer friends, again I lied to you. He is more than a friend to me. He is what Cesar is to you.

Josh I know that I should have told you the truth from day one. Let me now correct that wrong. Frank and I are couple; we are gay.”

I just stood there looking at Josh trying to figure out what he is thinking. Just like his father, you can’t read his face. I never want to play poker with this guy because I would never know when he is bluffing.

“Patrick I have known your secret since I met you. When you introduced Frank, I could tell that you two were and are a couple. Just the way you both looked at each other and behaved around each other. I wish you could have trusted me and the guys with your secret. I know the burden that you and Frank are carrying.

By not being honest and upfront it also allowed someone like Chris to try and use it against you. That is why that day when Chris came over to us and try to that, I pulled him away. I figured whenever you and Frank were ready, you would come and tell us.

There is only one thing I do ask of you Patrick. Don't wait much longer to tell the rest. They will understand, back you up, and be there if you ever need someone to talk to. The kind of lives we are facing is already going to be hard without holding in secrets and we need the full support of our friends.”

At this point tears started rolling down my cheek. Josh is right I should have trusted him and the others since I first met them. I need as many people in my corner as possible. Also I can’t afford to give anyone the tools to hurt me.

“So Patrick, whenever you are ready, bring Frank back to join us. Even if you are not ready to tell the other guys about you and him, then bring him back. It doesn’t make any sense to stay away from the one that you love.”

“I know you’re right about everything you just said. I will bring Frank back in at the same time I am going to tell everybody about him and me. I want what you have and that is having the one that you love by your side.

If you don’t mind I would like to go and find Frank right now. He and I are fighting about this whole thing and I want to let him know I finally told you.”

“No problem. Go get your boyfriend and makeup with him. If you can’t rejoin us don't worry. What is important right now is that you and Frank fix your relationship. When I lost Chris to hurt really bad! I've never want to see a friend or even and enemy go through what I went through when I lost Chris.”

I shook Josh's hand before I left looking for Frank. I can’t believe how much better I feel with this off of my chest. Secrets are the hardest burden to carry because they weigh you down in the worst way.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

After lunch I can’t wait to get to glee Club. It is the most fun class I have all day. Mr. Edgar makes you want to go to class everyday. I can’t remember the last class or teacher that got me that excited for a class.

Today, just like the other days, we are practicing the six songs that were selected to sing in the next competition and for my father’s inauguration. Still I am the only solo artist the glee club has right now. Sometimes I wish there were others to help out and share the pressure I have as the only solo artist.

At least this time we have a lot more time to learn each song Mr. Edgar chose. It is only a week apart between my father’s inauguration and the competition. I couldn't understand why Mr. Edgar chose different songs for each.

I know, without a doubt, we could get away with the same set of songs we sing at the inauguration, we can sing a week later at our next competition. Who knows what goes on in someone else’s mind? Half the time I don't even know what's going on in my own mind!

Mr. Edgar worked with me during class with the piano. He knows I'm very nervous when it comes to playing the piano. It isn't that I don't like the piano. I just never took lessons on it until now.

I sat there for the entire hour playing the same song over and over again on the piano. By the time the bell rang I actually and the entire song memorized. I don't know if that is what Mr. Edgar was trying to get accomplished, but that’s what happened.

The rest of the day flew by quickly and before I knew it I was already walking home. On Friday evening Cesar goes straight home because his parents don't allow him to go to anyone house. I still have not met his parents, but by the sounds of it they are very strict.

The minute I walked up to the house the front door opened and my family walked out. For the first time my brothers actually beat me home. I guess they don't have a football game tonight.

“Josh don't worry about your books just put them in the back of the car. We are going out to eat for dinner tonight.” My dad said as he walked towards the truck.

Ever since he got elected to the Governorship of Texas, we stopped going out to eat on Fridays. At first I thought it was because my mom is no longer with us. Then I figured it wasn’t that, it was because the issues with security.

In order for my father to go anywhere now the security detail has to clear the building and those around wherever he is going to be. To make it a lot easier for everyone concerned, they now just clear the restaurant or the movie theater or wherever he decides to go.

I heard when my father went to Austin and took a regular flight it drove the security detail crazy. The Main reason is because they couldn’t secure the entire aircraft and because of that they couldn't guarantee my father’s safety.

You know how the world is getting nowadays. There are so many crazy people out there trying to get themselves on the news! One way they do it is trying to assassinate a public figure either in politics or entertainment. Because of that it is causing the problem with security details trying secure locations where these politicians and entertainers go.

I jumped in the back seat of the truck and threw my books in the back just like my father asked me to do. Brandon got in and sat right next to me. Daniel and Carlos sat in the next seat and my grandmother sat up front with my father.

I noticed when we drove off there is a vehicle in front of us and the same kind of vehicle behind us. I figure this is my father’s security detail. That means there is a lot more on duty today because we are going out. I am pretty sure there is a security detail already at the restaurant where we are going.

My father went around the truck asking each of us how our day went at school. We pretty much answered the same. The teachers are getting ready to administer our semester exams. That means the next couple weeks are going to be mainly study sessions. I ready think class is boring and now it is going to be worse.

We drove up to the restaurant where we are going to eat. We got down from the truck and the security detail got in and drove away. I figure the guards need to keep everything my father uses in their sight. We are not even allowed to let anyone get into our vehicles.

At first when we walked into the restaurant, no one recognized us. But when the owner came out and personally took us to our table, it got everybody's attention. As I followed my father I noticed he was not too happy with being treated like a rock star.

When we reached our table and sat down, we ordered our drinks. Once the waiter left my father finally spoke about the reason he decided to take us out to eat tonight.

“Although I had a weird week, I can’t forget about my family. I have been so busy since I ran for this office we haven't gone out like a family. That dawned on me today and I planned to fix it.

I know kids when I go to Austin, you guys are going to stay here. But when you guys come to Austin this summer, we are going to have our normal Fridays and we are going to start now.

I want to know what goes on in your lives. I don't want to be one of those parents always wondering where my children are. I lost many years of your youth. I won’t get those years back, but I won’t miss anymore.”

We all just looked at each other trying to figure out what is going on. I already know that my father will give up everything for us. I think he is feeling right now ashamed because he has been so involved in both of his jobs.

We know as of December the first my dad is officially out the reserves. Right now he is turning over this office and duties as the Commanding General of the US and allied troops in the Persian Gulf. Although he is here, he is still giving out orders dealing with the ground troops.

None of us actually answered my father. Instead we changed the subject to what is going on in our lives. I think we all figured out that my father wants to be part of our lives. We went around the table and now it's my turn as the food arrived.

“Really everything is about the same like it is with Carlos and Daniel. I think the only major difference is my Glee Class.” I looked around the table as I spoke.

I explained to my father and everyone at the table about the song choices we made. After telling my dad the songs we plan to sing at his inauguration he seemed pretty happy with the selections and really happy with the country songs we chose.

The rest of the time at the dinner table we just fooled around and pretty much talked about nothing earth shattering. I like it when I see my father in the mood he’s in right now; laid back with no worries.

I know my father worries about each and every single one of us. He just doesn't want us to know that he actually does worry. At times I really think he takes way too much on his shoulders. Then to top it all off he doesn't let anyone into his world when things boil to the breaking point. I really do hope he finds someone that he can talk to soon.

(DANIEL'S POINT OF VIEW)

After dinner we headed straight home and went our separate ways the minute we walked through the front door. Carlos and I headed up to my room to hang out since there is no football game or party to go to tonight.

“When do we plan to talk to Josh, Daniel? I really do feel bad about everything we have done to him. If it wasn't for us Elizabeth would have never come up with the evil plan that she came up with.

Then we made things bad way before that when we went running around the school telling anyone that would listen to us that Josh is gay. Because of that it has made Josh’s life at school in living hell.”

“I know, I know, we really fucked everything up with our brother. To tell you the truth Carlos, there is no excuse for what we did. We are individuals like dad said and we can no longer blame others for our mistakes; not even our upbringing or our mother on anything we do in our teenage years.”

“You know I think Josh went to his room. Why don't we take this time to go over and talk with him and let him know we always will have his back no matter what. I know it'll make him feel better and us too.”

“We may not feel better Carlos, but at least we will do what is right. What we should have done that from day one. We have screwed up dealing with Josh from day one. I know no matter what we do from now on we're going to always be playing catch-up. I really think that no matter how fast we run, take shortcuts, or try to make up for the past, we will never be able to make up for the past.”

Carlos and I got up and walked over to Josh's room. We knocked on the door before walking in. Once we heard Josh tell us to come in we opened the door and found him in Brandon talking.

“Josh is it okay we talk with you please? It’s okay that Brandon stays because it concerns him as well.”

Josh and Brandon looked up at me and Carlos with confused looks on their faces. I don't blame them since we never give those two the time of day. If we are not ragging on them or simply just screwing with them we would normally never talk.

Carlos shut the door once he came in. We both walked over to Josh's bed and sat down. I looked over to Carlos and then we both looked over to Josh and Brandon. They still wore confused looks on their faces. I figured I’d just start talking.

“Josh I really don’t know where to begin or how to say what I'm about to say so I’ll just say it. Brothers are supposed to support each other even if they don’t agree with what the other is doing, no matter what. Don’t get me wrong on what I'm saying…..”

I'm stuttering and screwing this all up from the beginning. “…Carlos and I both know there are no way you would choose to be gay. There is no excuse for what we did to you when mother told us the news. We were scum, in fact lower than scum for the way we reacted.

So just let me get to the bottom line here. Neither I nor Carlos will make any excuses for what we have done in the past. What we can do is promise you now in the future you can always count on us no matter what. You will no longer have to look over your shoulders worrying on what your older brothers might do.

We sit here today and promise you we have your back. We will go down fighting for you if anyone steps up and causes you problems. We love you and always will. Do you at least forgive us for the crap we pulled?”

Josh looked at me the entire time as I fumbled around trying to organize my thoughts and get out I had to say. His face never changed from the concerned look from the moment we walked in the door. He is in the right to be concerned whenever we come around.

“First let me say thank you for what you just said. You may not know how much this means to me. One thing I want to let you know from the get-go is that I know that no matter what, you would never allow anyone to hurt me.

Brothers always fight, that's just in our nature. One thing I can say about this family though is that we are closer to each other as brothers than many other families out there. I have known that you guys have supported me since the day the press and mom cornered me. You two left your stage and had my back. I never thanked you for that and I really appreciated it that day.

As of this moment our slates are clear. I really hope in the future I would never be in a position that would need to ward off physical violence. I am not living in a dream because there are bigots out there that want to hurt people like me. The sad thing about those bigots is that they don't understand or know the realities of a person living a gay life.”

Josh got up and walked over to me and Carlos. At first I didn't understand why he is walking over to us. Then he presented his hand for me to shake and then I extended mine. But instead of shaking my hand he pulled me up from the bed and hugged me. I can’t remember the last time I have hugged Josh.

He let me go and turned around to find Carlos is already standing. He immediately hugged Carlos and Carlos returned to hug. That is when I felt Brandon tap me on the shoulder to hug me as well.

Once all the hugging was done we headed downstairs to join my father and grandma in the living room. We talked him into playing Monopoly. The funny thing is the last time we played Monopoly was when I was probably eight years old. We played till around midnight when we all finally called it quits and headed up to bed.

As my head hit the pillow I can’t remember the last time my mind was clear as it is tonight. I guess when you are an evil person or play evil games you always go to bed with a worried mind. I actually dozed off almost immediately and slept soundly.

(DANIEL SR’s POINT OF VIEW)

I got woken up by loud banging on the front door. As I made my way to answer the front door the security detail stopped me. One pushed me into the living room as the other went and answered the door.

I recognized my soon-to-be ex-wife's voice at the door. She is yelling up a storm loud enough to even wake up the dead. I walked out of the living room over to the front door to try and calm her down.

“What is wrong with you? Your children are sound asleep in this house! Don't you have any respect for yourself or for your children? What are you doing here so damn early in the morning?”

I pulled Martha into the house and walked her to the study. Immediately after we walked in I shut the door behind us because the whole way from the front door to the study she wouldn't shut up.

“Do you think you can throw me out like yesterdays garbage? If you think that, you got something else coming to you. I won’t go away quietly Daniel. I will make it as much noise that I can between now and your inauguration in order for you to listen to me.”

“Martha, just tell me what you want! You already have on your mind what you want, so just put it out there.”

“I want you and the kids back; bottom line. You wouldn’t be here today if it wasn't for me being behind you all those years when you were in the military. You know that just like I do. I should at least reap the rewards of my work.”

“You know Martha you have not changed one bit. I would think the last couple months you would at least have thought about what you did. Instead, you think everyone including me and your kids owe you now. No one owes you a thing for being a mother and a wife since we were married and had kids.

So your demand is denied. I plan to go through with divorce without question. I can only put it this simply to you: I DON’T TRUST YOU WITH MY KIDS! In return I will never allow you to be around our kids”

“Are you ready for a battle Daniel, because that's it is what you’ll get. Not only will I fight you for every dime you have now and in the future plus I will fight you for sole custody of our children. The law recognizes the mother before they recognize father and because of that I will more than likely win.

Then, once I get custody of the kids I will send Josh to this religious group that specializes on turning kids that think they are gay into straight God abiding kids. It has been known though, that some of the kids actually die in there. I am willing to take that chance in order for Josh to live the right life.”

I couldn’t believe the words coming from the mouth of the woman I once loved with my whole heart. “You are one evil bitch! Hell will freeze over before you get ANY custody of our kids. You are right that the courts rule more often in favor of mother than the father. In your case, however, there is no court in this State or any State that would give you custody of our kids. Not when I present the court with the tape of our conversation the night that we separated and then with all the interviews and press conferences you have done.

As far as the money is concerned I am willing right now to give you what the courts will give you. In the state of Texas you get fifty percent of what we accumulated while we were married. That shut off the minute I filed for our divorce. So Martha right now I will write you a check of half of what this house is worth and what we have in the bank the day I filed for our divorce.”

I can tell Martha is steaming hot at this point. She thought if she walked in here and made threats that everything will go back to normal. There is no way I will ever allow her to once again influence our kids.

“Daniel there is no way I am going to allow you to quietly sweep this under the rug. Let's do this since you are so protective over Josh. You keep Josh and Brandon and I take Daniel and Carlos as well as your offer of money.”

“You must be crazy Martha, because there is no way I am going to separate these guys. Although you tried to damage Carlos and Daniel, I have successfully undone some of that damage. There is no way I'm going to let you get your hands again on Carlos and Daniel.

Either you take the money I am offering now or I will see you in court. If you choose the latter, you will lose. You might not even walk off with the amount I am offering you right now. You decide and take your chances. Again, remember I tape every conversation I get into with anyone that is a threat.”

I pointed to my tape recorder on the desk. I know she saw me press record the minute we walked into the room. There will be no surprises for her when I said I tape every conversation I am in.

“Daniel you are leaving me with no other choice than to take you to court. If this is what you want, then so be it. I will see you in court the next time we meet. I really hope it is during the week or on the day of your inauguration.”

Martha got up from her seat and walked to the door of the study. I immediately got up from my seat and joined her at the door. I want to make sure that she doesn’t say another word as I escort her out the house.

“Martha the minute I open this door you won’t see another word. I won’t have our kids woken up by your outbursts. If you want to test me on this do it. And if that's the choice you make the guard detail will ensure you shut up.”

Martha just looked at me with a stunned look in her face. I really don’t care anymore if I hurt her feelings. She doesn’t love me or the kids. She tried to use the kids as a tool against me. For that reason alone I won’t let her see the kids.

“Daniel I was hoping since I am here are ready I can see the kids. I would like to see all of them except Josh. That way no fights break out and it’s only a visit with the kids.”

“No Martha there is no way I will let you pick and choose which kids you want to see. Even if you want to see all four of them, I won’t let you not in the emotional and irrational state you are in right now.”

Martha slaps me and then ran out the study once again yelling at the top of our lungs. Somehow she got through the guards at the bottom of the staircase. As she started running up the stairs Daniel and Carlos met her halfway.

“There you guys are! I have been asking your father to allow me to see you guys and he has been saying no. In return he has left me with no other choice but to barge in here like a crazy woman.”

Daniel and Carlos just looked at Martha like she was out of her mind. She tried to hug them except they stepped out of the way. That not only is stunned me, but by the looks of it, it stunned Martha as well. She just looked at Carlos and Daniel with the same hate in her eyes as she has for me and Josh.

Daniel chose to speak up for himself and his brothers; “Mom we love you so much but what you are doing to this family is destroying it. Dad hasn't said anything to us about you and him. In fact any time that dad speaks about you to us is nothing but good.

But you need help mom! I am not about to stand here and tell you why you need help because I'm your son. Only you can figure what help you need. Until you can love and accept all four of us as your kids, none of us will see you.”

With that Daniel and Carlos turned around and walked up to the room. At that point the security detail surrounded Martha and started to escort her down the stairs. Martha didn't put up a fight as they escorted her out the house. I think she finally realizes she is in the wrong. The sad thing about this whole thing is that it took her kids to slap her awake. I really hope she takes the message my sons are trying to convey to her.

(MARTHA IS POINT OF VIEW)

As the front door of my house shut in my face I couldn't stop thinking about what my two oldest sons told me. Of all my kids I never thought I would ever get back talk from the two oldest.

Although they said that Daniel never spoke ill of me I know that can’t be the truth. Reason I say this is because Daniel and Carlos would have never talked to me like they did moments ago.

I made my car barely holding in from anyone seeing me crying. Never in my life have I been treated the way I got treated in that house. No one, let alone a mother, deserves to be denounced by their own kids and being told they need help.

With blurry eyes and tears rolling down my face I couldn't even find the keyhole of the ignition of my car. I'd rather just sit here and get control of myself before leaving and getting into some kind of car accident.

As I sit here looking at my house I can’t help but think of the past; our boys playing in the front yard with their trucks and cars were playing hide and go seek with each other. Those days I wish I could have back. Those days I knew my kids were always looking up to me and asking me questions.

Now I have a gay son who doesn't understand being gay is wrong. No matter if you’re religious or not it is wrong. Any normal person knows that you don’t lay down with the same sex. No matter if it is a woman lying down with the woman or a man lying down with a man.

I know all what I need to do even if Daniel doesn't agree with me. Even if I don’t get custody of my kids, I need to carry out my plans. Josh and the rest of my family may hate me at first, but after it is said and done they will thank me.

The church group I plan to send Josh to for help has a branch that goes and kidnaps kids that refuse to go voluntarily. At that point it takes only one parent of the child to place him or her into the program! That means I don’t need to have Daniel's signature on any of the paperwork. Again he might be mad with me, but when Josh returns to us as a normal teenage boy dating girls, Daniel will forgive me.

Now as far as the other boys I need to figure out a way to talk with them. If Daniel is brainwashing them, I need to do the same. I have so much I can tell the boys about their father it will make their heads spin. So if Daniel wants war over our kids I will give it to him. When the dust settles I will be in the winning the corner!

In order for me to get all this done I will need to get allies in my corner I have never thought I would ever go to. One of those allies I know I can depend on is Elizabeth. I known she wants the same thing that I do regarding Josh.

And finally Daniel thinks with his little recording I will flinch. He has another think coming when we go to court. I know for sure the court will rule in my favor no matter what Daniel says or has against me. Simply put there is no court or judge in this state that will rule against the mother and in favor of the father as far as custody of the children. Not if they want to get elected back to their bench, anyway.

After I wipe the floor with him in the courts I will destroy his political career before it begins. If I can’t be at his side, then nobody will. I will go to the press, do as many talk shows as needed, and show up at every event Daniel is at to destroy him. Once I am done with him, he won’t even be able to run for dog catcher.

Still my first order of business is going to be Josh. I stopped crying and wiped my face as I looked at my house for one last time. The next time I am here I will be the one living in that house not Daniel!

I will also be the one to have custody of our kids and Josh in that church group. If he dies while in custody of that church group might be the best end result for Josh. One part of me wants to believe they can actually help my son but there is another part of me that knows they can’t.

I started my car and pulled out to the street to head home. The first thing I am going to do when I walked through the doors of my apartment is make the phone call. I know they can only kidnap him at school and that is what I am going to tell the church group.

I hope that Josh doesn't put up a fight because if he does he will get hurt. I really don't care whether or not Josh gets hurt. I hope he resists and they have to use a huge amount of force in order to take him. That might actually make him a man.

TO BE CONTINED………….

{Hey guys another busy chapter with a lot of things going on. More and more in the chapters to come we are going to cover a lot of time per chapter. For example this story we are about to start chapter twenty and we have not even made it past their freshman year. Still it will take more chapters in this story to be written to get through one year of a life of Josh because of the many different plots.

Finally it looks like Daniel and Carlos have seen the error of their ways. They sat down and spoke with Josh and let him know how bad they feel about letting him down. I really hope they are true to their word. They have already taken a positive step when they spoke to their mom the next morning.

Talking about their mom, what is up with her? Does she understand she has lost everything with Daniel and her kids? Her blackmailing her husband, or should I say ex-husband, isn't helping her at all. She is one weird evil person. She offers to meet halfway saying she will be willing to take only two sons. She must be on drugs or something if she thinks her husband would agree to that.

Also look at her sitting outside in her car figuring out her next move on the plans that she told her husband. I hope whatever church group she is going to fails because if they don't I have heard once a child goes into one of those groups it is impossible to get them out.

Josh's father is very worried about his kids. He knows once he goes to Austin he is going to miss out on a lot with his kids. I think that is one of the reasons he took them out to eat on Friday. He wants as much time with his kids as possible before the gets inaugurated.

Finally Patrick grabbed his balls and told Josh about him and Frank. Now he sees he was wrong about Josh because Josh didn’t react the way he expected. I don't understand the thinking of Patrick because Josh is the same way. There is no way Josh would have taken offense to anything that Patrick said. So I hope Patrick does tell the rest the group very soon.

There are so many plots going on right now you can’t miss a chapter. Chris's dad doing everything he can to get Chris back. Even if it means killing Chris in order for no one else to have him! I know Chris and Josh are no longer together, but that doesn't mean I want harm to come to Chris.

Also let's not forget about Elizabeth she is still around. She is somewhere out there licking her wounds, but she will be back and when she returns she will be ready to do battle with anyone that stands in her way.

I could stay here all day long, with all the open plots already in this story, but I won’t. I warn you though! Don’t skip a chapter, or you will be lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}
EDITOR’S CORNER:

Yes, it was a busy chapter! Ok, I’m dying to see how Martha puts her plan into play. She’s not thinking rationally. Remember what happened to Chris when he ran frantically toward Josh? Oh, I’m betting she and the “church group” will give it a shot. I’m chomping to see how that drama plays out! Then once all is known to Daniel Sr., we’ll see what kinds of legal pressure will be brought down upon Martha AND the “church group”.

I wish that what Jacob is pointing toward with these “church group” operations that “fix” gays wasn’t true. Unfortunately, they do exist and are no better than concentration camps. There are some that have been penetrated and found to be dens that harbor pedophiles. Those of that ilk operate under the guise of therapy but rather, the “patients” become sex slaves. Perhaps the Governor Elect will find legal means to find such places and rid our society of such “institutions”.

I’m also ready for some more political intrigue! I don’t know about each of you out there, but this story has me totally hooked on many levels. I love politics and the inner workings; behind the scenes things. The character Rich intrigues me and I get a sense there’s a lot more interesting about him that will be revealed as time goes by. What is under the veneer of the incoming Chief of Staff? Who is the man behind the professional? Inquiring minds want to know, to quote the slogan of the famous (or infamous) “periodical”.

Let Jacob (and me) hear your thoughts and interests. Where do YOU think the different plots should go? Remember, on numerous occasions, readers input has influenced the path of Jacob’s stories. Let us hear what you think.

Until next time,
“Daddy” Rick