Shadow of my Father - 3. Chapter 3

(MARTHA’S POINT OF VIEW)

I couldn’t believe what Joshua did with Elizabeth. This isn’t my Josh and I need his father to speak with him about it. I didn’t even want to speak with Josh during dinner. If it was possible I would have sent him up to his room to eat.

As soon as I finished the dishes, the phone started to ring. I went into the study and answered the call by the third ring.

“Hello. Lopez’s residence, Martha speaking!”

“Hello honey, how are you and the kids doing?”

“We are doing well, how about you?”

“Just sitting in the sand hoping this fool in front of us gets it through his thick head that he will not win if he forces us to go in…….”

We sat there talking about what he was doing. I told him how the boys were and how things were going at the house. Then I took the conversation into the issue of today, Josh and Elizabeth.

“Daniel we have a problem that takes a fathers hand to fix!”

“What is it Martha?”

“Well you know Josh is going out with Elizabeth and she came by after school today to let me know what was going on with Josh at school. Josh has befriended a classmate that might be gay. Everyone thinks he is as well as Elizabeth. She had a chance to talk with him during breakfast this morning.

I am getting away from the subject. She came to tell me Josh refused to drop this kid as a friend when she asked. Then when Josh got home, Elizabeth was here and when he was confronted about it, he got mad. In the end he broke up with Elizabeth and made her cry. I need you to talk with him Daniel and tell him it isn’t right being friends with that boy and get back with Elizabeth.”

“Martha, I will do no such thing. He was absolutely right to break up with that girl. If you or anyone I went out with would have done something like that behind my back. I would have done the same thing. You, Martha, do not talk to the kids’ friends unless they are present, and not even then past social pleasantries.

As for Elizabeth demanding Josh not be a friend to kid because he MIGHT be gay, I am proud of Josh for standing up for what is right. He needs to not be pushed into the corner and be his own man with it comes to decisions like that!

Call Josh to the phone where I can talk to him. I love you Martha and you are doing a great job. I wish I could be there for you guys!”

“I love you as well Daniel and do not worry about us. I have it under control. Take care of yourself and will look forward to your call on Saturday!”

I walked out to the stairs and yelled up for Josh to come down. Josh walked down the stairs and past me to the study. As he picked up the phone, I closed the door.

(JOSHUA’S POINT OF VIEW)

“Hello dad, how are you doing over there?”

“I am doing fine son, and you?”

“I am doing good dad, thanks for asking. The coach told me I will be swimming in several events this Friday!”

“That is great son, I am glad to hear that. I wish I was there to watch you win. Son, I don’t have much time left. I need to talk with you about Elizabeth and what happened today after school.”

“Yeah dad I am sorry for that. I didn’t mean any disrespect to mom or Elizabeth. I just didn’t like the idea that Liz came over and spoke with mom when I wasn’t here!”

“No Josh, you are not in trouble and you do not need to explain why you did what you did! In fact I am proud of you son, for what you did. Respect: Son, that is what it is all about. Elizabeth didn’t respect you and the relationship between you two. She went behind your back to solve a problem that should have been resolved between just you two. Look Josh, I don’t care who you are friends with. If your new friend is gay, I do not care. I have gay friends and they are the most trusted friends you can ever get. So, please do not follow the crowd on this. Be your own man as I brought you boys up to be. Ok son? Please do that for me!”

“I promise dad I will lead, not follow!”

“Great son. That is all I needed to say on the subject. Say hi to your brothers for me and tell them I love them a lot. I love you too, son. You are growing into such a good man.”

“I love you too, dad and please be careful. Come home to us really soon!”

I hung up the phone with a renewed sense of energy. My dad is way different thinking than I thought he would be. Now, my mom, on the other hand, isn’t. Maybe I have had this all wrong; it is my mom that I should be concerned about; not my father.

I went back to my room to finish up with my homework and to get my uniform ready for tomorrow. Man, I know I am going to hate this so much. I used to tease the kids that wore this. Now I am going to be called the beaner, and not because I am Hispanic, but because I am wearing an army uniform in high school.

(ELIZABETH POINT OF VIEW)

I just couldn’t believe what just happened between me and Josh. I do love Josh and he should know that by now and even more since yesterday than ever. I just wanted what was best for my boyfriend.

Now look at me, walking home, unable to stop crying. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I just need to prove it to Josh and he will take me back. But, how can I do that though? He is so much like his father, no matter how hard he tries not to be.

I know what to do in order to get Josh back. It will be hard but I can do it. I need to show Josh that this new friend isn’t a friend at all. Chris wants more than a friendship with Josh; he wants to be lovers. Knowing Josh and his upbringing, he will end the friendship, and that is for sure.

I really want him to beat the living daylights out of Chris. I will get my way, I always have. Tomorrow is a new day and the day I will begin with my plan to get Josh back. At the same time, I will destroy that faggot.

(JOSHUA’S POINT OF VIEW)

 

When I woke up, it felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. No more Elizabeth at all. I just need to find another girl to be my cover, but not join me at the hip. That is going to hard and I know it.

I walked to school with a skip in my step even though I am wearing this stupid uniform! One of the benefits on having a parent in the military, a high ranking one at that, is I got a brand new uniform; not the used ones the school generally issues to the students in the class.

As usual I joined Eric for breakfast. He already had my food there for me as soon as I arrived. Soon after I sat down, Chris joined us. Right when Chris arrived, I was telling Eric about Liz, leaving out the part of her thinking Chris is gay. I finished it up with me breaking up with her.

“Good! Who needs a woman like that anyways? You are better off without her, Josh and you know that. Now you need to tell me the answer to that riddle.”

“What riddle are you talking about, Eric?’

“Come on, don’t play games with me! The riddle you told me and Chris yesterday!”

“Oh that riddle is the riddle you are talking about. No, I don’t think I will give you the answer to the riddle. You need to figure it out yourself!” I said totally frustrating Eric and I’m sure Chris wasn’t far behind.

I sat there laughing at the look on Eric’s face. He is so angry; I think he would come across the table at me if we weren’t the good friends as we are.

“Instead, let me tell you guys a new riddle!” I goaded them.

“No you need to give us the answer to the old riddle first!” Eric protested.

“I give you these riddles Eric, to help make you smarter. How am I doing my job if I give you the answers when you can’t figure them out?” Once again I laughed at Eric.

“Now let me give you a new riddle to take your mind off of the old one. That way if you are not thinking too much about the first riddle and you will get the answer. The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?”

“Forget it Josh. You are trying to confuse me, and you know that isn’t so hard to do!”

“Trust me Eric, I am not trying to confuse you. It is in all good fun.”

“Don’t look but now but here comes the lady of the hour!”

I tuned around and saw Liz walking toward us. What in the world does she want? I have already made it clear I do not want to be going out with her. Is she going to come over here and make a scene in front of everyone? I looked at Eric and then over at Chris. I really hope she just keeps on walking. There isn’t really anything more to say.

“Guys whatever she does let me say I am sorry beforehand!” I prefaced her arrival.

Both Eric and Chris shook their heads in the positive. No sooner than I finished telling the guys, Liz walked up to the table.

“Josh, can we speak in private please?”

“No Liz, I said my peace last night and I am standing by it!”

“You’ve got to understand where I was coming from yesterday, Josh!”

“I do and I do not care to rehash the evening! So if you don’t mind, I was speaking with my friends Eric and Chris!” I said in a totally dismissive manner.

I think Elizabeth got the message, at least for now. She walked off and but not too happy doing so. I still don’t understand people that think the way she does. Gays have to hide away from the public, just because of people like her. We shouldn’t have to and I need to learn not to hide from myself either.

As the day went on, I couldn’t get Chris off my mind. This guy has a face I can’t get out of my thoughts and the result is me walking around with half a hard on all day. Let me tell you why I cannot get him out of mind:

He has a baby face but as well a mans face at the same time. He doesn’t shave yet! At least I don’t think so. He has these lips man, they are so beautiful. They are not fat nor skinny, just perfect thickness on the bottom and his top just that up half circle and down, not fat at all. When he smiles, perfect straight white teeth, that goes along with his perfect smile. His nose is slender going into his nostrils. But most in importance is his eyes. They are sunken in just right, white eyes as can be, and then the color, they are this beautiful green that can look right into your soul. Chris doesn’t need to talk. His eyes tell the story every time.

I really can’t imagine anyone could want to hurt this handsome kid. He just melts every girl and guy he walks by. Shame on his father for wanting to destroy the good looking and beautiful person that is Chris! I know Chris must have gotten his looks from his mother, because when I saw his dad that day at the pool. He was nowhere near as good looking as Chris and never was.

Before I knew it, it was lunch. I went to my locker and grabbed my sack lunch and headed to join Eric and Chris. Eric kept going back to the riddles I told them and he wanted to know the answers. The more I kept telling him I will not give the answer out, the angrier he gets. I’m not really sure it’s anger as much as frustration.

The whole time I kept glancing over at Chris and saw he was enjoying what was unfolding before his eyes. He had the smile I just love across his face. Then without warning, his face was covered with pudding. As soon as I saw that I looked around and saw more plates of food heading our way.

What the hell is going on here? Then the entire cafeteria erupted into in an all out food war. Chris dives under the table while Eric and I stood our ground and joined in the food fight. I grabbed whatever came my way and sent it right back the other direction. Right before the cafeteria was raided, I grabbed Chris and waved to Eric to head for the door.

We made it to the door before the guards were able to lock down the cafeteria. I just laughed all the way till we made it to the field. My uniform was a mess, so that means I will not pass the inspection today. Who cares? I had fun!

The rest of the day went by pretty fast. Today in Mrs. Nunez’ class I just loved it. She allowed each of us to stand up and sing on our own to a song of our choice. I love country music because it tells a story. Not the country music like, I shot my dog, my wife left me, and lost my house kind of song. The one tell actually tells a story and doesn’t want to make you want to jump off a bridge.

I sang this George Strait song called All My Ex’s Live in Texas. Even the others in the class got into the chorus of the song. I changed it up some, by making it a little faster beat. It sounded pretty good. I figure owing to what I did with Liz, I choose that song.

Mrs. Nunez loved it and wanted to see if we can come up with more singing like that for her class. I just was in the mood to sing and I can bring my voice down deep. I already experienced my body changing. The first thing that changed was my voice.

During swim team practice the coach was riding us even harder then he was doing in the past. The coach wants to win in the main eight races on Saturday. Four individuals and three team events are the ones he wants to win. Coach selected me to compete in 400 Individual Medley, 200 Freestyle, and 200 Individual Medley as far as in the individual races. In the team events, I will be racing in are the 4x100 Freestyle Relay, Men's 4x200 Freestyle Relay, and 4x100 Medley Relay.

Chris was selected to compete in the same team events but he will race in only two individual races; the 200 Freestyle and the 100 Butterfly. He has the back muscles for those races.

 

Since we already know what races we are going to be competing in, the coach is having us practice only in those events. If he catches us in any other, we are out. So the only time we can help one another is if they are running in the same race or on the team events. I know it seems harsh, but there is some logic to the coach’s thinking.

 

After the coach worked us till we could not swim anymore, he told us to hit the showers. Chris and I went into the locker room talking. We didn’t realize the rest of the team ran in as fast as they could. When we got in the locker room, they were already taking their showers.

 

Certain shower heads in the locker room only worked with cold water. We always race in to get the shower heads that work right. I know I just forgot about it for a moment. I just went straight to the bench by my locker and sat there. I was actually thinking of not taking a shower and just going home but I know I won’t stop hearing it from my brothers smelling like the pool.

 

Standing under the shower head, I glance over to Chris. I do it without moving my head and getting caught looking. As soon as I looked at Chris, I’d see him looking at me. He hasn’t got it down yet how to look at another guy without getting caught. I really hope I have. I might be just fooling myself thinking I have.

 

Chris just looked hot under the shower head with the water rolling down his light smooth skin. He has no hair anywhere except his treasure trail leading from his belly button down. I can see the bulge in his Speedos. He has to be at least four inches soft, and that means he could be at around seven to eight inches hard. Man I want to have his dick in my mouth so bad! I work my way down finally looking at his legs. He doesn’t have hairy legs but he is growing some hair on them. I just love the way he looks from head to toe.

 

We got out at the same time. The only problem is Chris’s locker is on the other side of mine. So when he pulls off his Speedos, I can’t see him naked. Damn it; I want to actually see his whole package in real life.

 

I met Chris at the door and we walked to coach’s office again. We shook hands as always and I headed out. As I walk out of the building, Elizabeth is waiting for me. The moment I saw her, I cursed under my breath. What the hell is it going to take to get her to leave me the hell alone?

 

“Josh can I speak with you for a minute please?”

 

“Liz, this is really getting old already. I do not know what you want me to say to get you to understand I do not want to talk with you. What do you want me to say?”

 

“Just for a few minutes please, you want to hear what I have to say!”

 

“Ok, go ahead and say your peace and that way we can end this!”

 

“Josh I will not apologize for what I did yesterday. I still feel I was right talking with your mother the way I did. Still, I want us to continue to go out and this is what I am willing to do:

 

You know I am a cheerleader this year and I am getting to know the main jocks that run this school. I see you are becoming good friend with that kid. I will not spread the rumor around about him being gay if you go out with me again.”

“Excuse me? Let me see if I have this right Elizabeth. You are actually blackmailing me to date you?” I stood there stunned at what Elizabeth just said. I really don’t understand what I have that she wants so badly. I am no model or major jock; so what is causing this?

“Look Elizabeth I truly do not understand this coming from you. Chris is a good guy and doesn’t deserve this from you or anyone. So why are you doing this to him?”

“It is a simple yes or no answer Josh; will you go out with me? In return I will keep my mouth shut about Chris.”

"Think about it Elizabeth! If you know or just think that Chris is gay, then others must see what you are seeing and don’t care about Chris’ sexuality one way or another! But again, you and I truly don’t know for a fact one way or another if Chris is gay. So if I were you, I’d keep my mouth shut if you do not want trouble from me!"

“Let’s say they do know about Chris and don’t care, I will make it my mission here at this school to make Chris’ life a living hell. You know me Josh, and when I set my mind to do something, I will do it!” Elizabeth said without a hint of compassion.

I just looked at her as the words were coming out of her mouth, but couldn’t believe she was saying them.

“Elizabeth, you know this isn’t right at all! Chris, once again, is a good guy and doesn’t deserve a bitch like you making a hard time for him. You know by blackmailing me into dating you again it will not be true. I will not allow you to be at my house, we will not hold hands with you or even eat together. It will be only words for you to say with nothing of substance to it. I truly do not understand a person that would want a relationship like this!”

“Josh you are wrong, it will include all that and more!” she threatened.

“Then you know what you bitch? Go fuck yourself because it isn’t happening!” I said as concisely as I could.

I just walked off leaving her with her face hanging. I couldn’t believe she actually had the nerve to blackmail me like this. I do need to talk with Chris and let him know what is going on with Elizabeth. I just feel bad for him.

The very next morning I took Chris aside and told him what Elizabeth told me and what she is planning to do. He looked at me like a deer in the head lights. I felt so bad for him, but I didn’t know what more to do. I cannot have anyone blackmail me like this and go along with it.

I explained that to Chris and he did agree with me on that. What surprised me the most was what he said next; “Well, we will see if the bitch is actually going to do it. If she does, well then, I will have to deal with it at that point. There is no need to stress about it now.”

“You’re right and you know I’ll have you back?” I assured Chris.

“I know Josh, and thank you man!”

After we had our little chat, we caught up with Eric. He was still on the riddles I told him yesterday. I was getting tired of him asking, I was about to tell him the answers, but decided to make him go crazy. He is making me go crazy by asking me over and over again for the answer, so I will do the same to him.

The week was going way too fast for me. Before I knew it, it was Saturday and time for our first meet of the year. I was excited and nervous at the same time. The first meet was at Montwood High School. The team met at El Paso and took the bus down to Montwood High. When we drove up, I noted that this school is awesome.

It is the newest school in El Paso and you can tell. I believe it is going on its second year. When we walked into the natatorium, man, it was hundred times better then ours. We changed into our swim wear and headed out.

This meet is between us, Montwood and three other schools. I know it sounds weird, but it is how the four school districts split up the meets. We get points for each placement we get in each meet. Then they are added up to see who gets the districts. The four highest teams will compete again to win district and move to compete at State. There are several other meets in the city we compete in as well.

I lined up for my first race, which is 400 Individual Medley. I didn’t even think twice once I heard the buzzer to go. I was in the water before I knew I was swimming as fast as I could. I didn’t even hear the screaming from the stands. By the time I finished the last lap, and touched the wall, I knew I had won. I looked at the clock and saw I did the event in four minutes and forty eight seconds. I know that’s no world record or anything, but it was enough for me to win.

 

I was helped out of the pool by my team and we went and watched Chris and the others in their first race of the day. Chris won the 200 Butterfly without a problem.

 

The rest of the day was like that. I raced in the other two races. I came in first in the 200 Freestyle, and second in the 200 Individual Medley. Chris took first in the 100 Butterfly. In the team events, we took all three of them. I was clean-up in all three team events. I only struggled in the Men's 4x200 Freestyle Relay, but had no problem in the 4x100 Freestyle Relay or the 4x100 Medley Relay. We had a good lead in the Men's 4x200 Freestyle Relay and it helped us win. The other two were on me to catch us up.

 

Whatever happens from this moment on, the coach did get the message across that he wanted to. The other teams were firmly put on notice. The race I took second, my other team member took the first place spot. I wasn’t beaten by another school; I was beaten by one of my own teammates. So coach got what he wanted; our school took first in all events in the meet.

 

As soon as we drove back up to El Paso High, the coach told us how proud he was of us and to keep the hunger we had today. He dismissed us and headed back to his office. I headed home with a big old grin on my face.

 

No one asked me how I did in my first meet. They felt that swimming wasn’t a sport and you’re not a man until you play a real sport like football. I headed up to my room and threw my bag down on the floor. Then went and watched some TV with my brothers before mom yelled at us to do our chores.

 

All I did Sunday was do the chores my father assigned me to do. My brothers tried to get me to do their chores. I made it very clear I wasn’t going to be pushed around from those clowns anymore! I felt sorry for my little brother Brandon because they turned to him and made him the slave.

 

The youngest of us all is Brandon. He only thirteen years old stands at only 5’4, a very skinny frame. He looks more like our mother than our dad. He is dark complected like us, but has these green beautiful eyes that just show more with the color of his skin. I am not hot for my younger bother, but I wish I had those eyes!

 

I wasn’t about to have my younger brother go through what I did with my older brothers picking on me. My dad always said it was a way to make me better man. I didn’t think the same way. I felt it made me more afraid of certain things rather than stronger.

 

I stood up for Brandon and told Daniel and Carlos to do their assigned chores and leave us the fuck alone. They were surprised to say the least. They tried to fight it at first then just let it go after realizing they were fighting a battle they can’t win.

 

Monday was here and I was not dreading it as I normally do. True to her word, Elizabeth began the campaign making Chris’s life a living hell. When I walked into the cafeteria, she and the other cheer leaders was yelling ‘faggot’ among other things at Chris.

 

I walked over and sat down next to Chris and Eric on the other side of the table. We just sat there quietly minding our own business. I felt so bad for Chris because this is really my fault. If I didn’t make a big deal of Liz coming to house, this wouldn’t be happening.

 

The good thing that I can see is that no one cared what they were yelling about. The other students were involved in their own worlds and don’t have time to give a shit about the freshmen cheerleaders. It was just them with no one else at their side.

 

“Hey Chris, if we just ignore them they will shut up. Don’t give them a reason to continue and make the others in here pay attention to what they are yelling about. They are little spoiled brats that have nothing better else to do!” I said with a calm authority to my voice.

 

“Chris, Josh is right. Let’s just sit here as we do every morning and ignore her and her followers.” Eric said in agreement.

 

Chris stayed quiet at first then nodded in approval to what Eric and I said. I now know I have coolest best friend in the world in Eric. He will defend Chris if needed. Plus he doesn’t care if the rumors are true either.

 

I had to use the restroom, so I left earlier leaving Chris and Eric alone with the hags. When walked out I saw this girl just looking at me. This isn’t the first time I have seen her looking at me before. She is in most of my classes except for ROTC. I often wondered why she kept staring at me. I turned to walk away thinking the same thing over and over again. Why is this girl looking at me as she is?

 

I didn’t even make it halfway down the hall when I felt someone patting me on the shoulder. At first I thought it was Elizabeth, but when I turned around I was surprised to see who it is.

 

“Hello Joshua I have been trying to get the nerve to talk to you!”

 

“That is no problem, and yeah my name is Joshua! What is your name by the way?”

 

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew. My name is Bernice Gomez!”

 

Bernice reached out her and I shook it. She is a beautiful girl. If I liked girls, there would have been no doubt I would date this girl. She is Hispanic, you can tell not only because of her last name, but as well the color of her skin. Beautiful bronze color skin, black long hair that is almost at her waist, and she has these most loving light brown eyes.

 

“Nice to meet you Bernice, please call me Josh!”

 

“I heard you and Elizabeth broke up! Is that true Josh?”

 

“Yeah that rumor is true!”

 

“Is that why she is giving your friend such a hard time?”

 

“Yeah she is taking it out on him for what went down between us!”

 

“That isn’t fair at all to the poor guy!” Bernice responded empathetically.

 

“That is what I keep thinking myself as well.”

 

“I have a weird question for you Josh. Please do not get angry with me for asking it please?”

 

“I won’t; just ask away.”

 

“Is the rumors true about your friend Chris? The reason I am asking and I cannot believe I am telling you this: You have a trusting face. I am gay but I need to have a guy on my arm so my family doesn’t find out about me.”

 

My jaw just fell right then and there. She would be perfect for me. I need to keep my cover as well. With her I wouldn’t need to pretend to have sex and fake liking it. Still though, I have not come out to one soul. What happens if this is a trick? I know I cannot handle it if it is a trick and she tells everyone that I am gay.

Maybe I should just throw caution to wind! “Well to tell you the truth Bernice, I do not know if he is or not. He hasn’t told me and I will not ask him.”

 

“Oh I was just wondering that’s all. Please Josh please do not tell anyone what I told you!”

 

Just the look in her eyes and body language told me she was the real thing. She wasn’t trying to trick me into telling her whether or not I am gay. She truly wants to have a boyfriend to just get past the watchful eyes.

 

“Bernice are you only interested in Chris?”

 

“What do you mean by that Josh? I thought he was gay and might need to hide just like me. Josh, it isn’t more then that!”

 

“Bernice, please walk with me the corner of the stairs where people can’t hear us talking!”

 

We walked to the corner of the far staircase that isn’t really used that much this early in the morning. I looked at her and I can tell she felt uncomfortable with what she told me.

 

“What concerns me Bernice is that this is a trick to get Chris to say something and in return, for you to go and gossip about him to the others! I will always do my best to protect my friends from getting hurt.”

 

“Josh, please trust me, it isn’t a trick at all. I need to get a boyfriend and soon. My parents are getting on me about dating. My father comes from a long line of priests and he has followed in the religious ways. You know the stuff in the Bible. I just do not want to deal with that right now, while I am going through high school.

 

I am thinking that I know I need to come out about it one day, but when I am out of the house. Simply put, my dad runs the program at the church that takes gay teens and turns them straight. I know in a blink of an eye he will put me in that program if he can. I know nothing can truly change what I am but he doesn’t understand that.”

 

I thought again to myself as I looked at Bernice with fear in her eyes as she spoke about her dad and the program. I do not want anyone going through this. Simply put, no one deserves it. I know now I could depend on her if I tell her the truth about me. She will not spill the beans about me.

 

“Bernice, I am now going to tell you something I have never said out loud to one soul. I dated Elizabeth because I needed to have a girlfriend as well. My family is very strict and doesn’t believe in the gay theory. They think it is a sickness nothing more than that. My father, well let me say this much, don’t get me started on him. He is going places and he needs a perfect photo family.

 

I am gay as well and want to live it to a point. What I mean is, if Chris is gay, I would like very much to date him, but at the same time I need to have a cover with my family!”

 

Bernice’s face lightens up when I told her I was gay as well. She just stared at me for a few minutes and finally spoke up.

 

“Josh this couldn’t have happened any better. I would like to be your cover girlfriend if you would be my cover boyfriend!”

 

We spent the time we had left going over what was needed to keep the image; the facade. We agreed in public we will be seen as boyfriend and girlfriend, but in private, just good friends. Hopefully we both get someone we love and that understands what we are doing. That way we can pick each other up for a date, but once away from our houses we actually join the true date. We will go together to family events as such and never let on.

 

This is perfect and maybe by me dating Bernice, Elizabeth might get the hint I am off the market and she will leave Chris alone. We agreed on all points like a business deal and walked down the hallway as a new couple. I need to now find a way to talk to Chris and see if he will come out to me and me to him.

 

As soon as I reached my locker, the first warning bell rang. Eric was waiting for me there. He just looked at me and then shook his head as if he was disappointed in me.

 

“What is that look for Eric? If you’re angry I will not give you the answers to the riddles, fine I will tell you.”

 

“I am not angry with you for not giving me the answers to the riddles. I am angry that you got a new girlfriend so fast. Have you been wanting t date her? Is that the reason you truly broke it off with Elizabeth? I have seen the way she has been looking at you from day one!”

 

“No that isn’t the reason I broke up with Elizabeth and you know that very well. I do not like anyone controlling my life like she wanted and was trying to do. My parents and older brothers do it and I am simply tired of dealing with control freaks. My relationship with Elizabeth I have control over. I don’t have that with my family.”

 

“I understand what you are saying Josh, just be careful. Look at what Elizabeth already is doing to try and get you back. Can you imagine what she will do if she finds out that you’re dating already.”

 

“I agree with you Eric, but have a different take on what she will do; at least I hope what she will do when she finds out that I am dating again. I am hoping that she will see that she is fighting a battle that she will not win.”

 

“We will see Josh, we will see!” Eric said with unbridled doubt.

 

The one minute warning bell rang as Eric and I walked into homeroom. We took our seats and class began. Roll call was taken then Mr. Shredder started to his normal clowning around. He always got our attention in the morning by walking on his hands in front of the class. I always wondered how he did that without falling flat on his face. I am pretty sure he has fallen on that face before.

 

(CHRIS’S POINT OF VIEW)

 

I needed to find a way to tell Josh my feelings about him. The only way I know I can do it without loosing my nerve is writing him a note and giving it to him. I believe if he isn’t gay, he will not share the information I give him to anyone.

 

I spent the better part of my morning to writing the note for Josh. I went through several drafts until I got it right. I made sure to actually flush all the other drafts down the toilet in the restroom. I knew when to give it to Josh, and that is at lunch. Right when the bell rings for fourth period I will hand it to him to be read later.

 

I really hope I am not wrong or reading the tea leaves wrong. I know my eyes are not playing tricks on me. I see him looking at me in the showers after practice every day. He thinks I don’t see him, but he is wrong. I will give him this; he is good at hiding it, but I do see it.

 

The bell rang for lunch! I ran to the cafeteria as fast as I could and got into the lunch line. If anyone asks me why I was running, I can simply say I didn’t want to be the last in line for lunch. The minute I got through the lunch line I went over to the normal table Josh, Eric and I sit at.

 

Not a minute later Elizabeth and her followers were back at it again. When is she going to give up and stop acting like a child? I caught Josh coming down the aisle with his lunch bag heading to the table. He looked over at Elizabeth and gave her a look that would kill any normal person, but she isn’t normal.

 

Josh sat down and Eric joined us with his lunch. As usual, Josh looks at the food on our trays and makes fun of it. This time I honestly couldn’t figure out what it was. I am hungry though. I can eat anything at this point.

 

When we finished up with our lunch, we headed off to the stadium. Josh, for some reason, was quiet and I don’t know why. I looked over to Eric and he as well seemed to quiet. I wonder if something happened in their morning classes. They have the same classes together so that could explain why they are both in a bummer mood.

 

Josh had on this t-shirt that fits him so well, a pair of blue jeans that cling to his body just right. It wasn’t so tight as to show off his package though. I could only wish! No, just tight enough to leave to the imaginations of others like me that are looking.

 

Josh was telling us stories about his father and how he got so high in rank. I thought it was cool that his dad is a Two Star General. Josh doesn’t seem to like it. I figure his household is run like the military and that is why he doesn’t like it much.

 

“So Josh do you think your dad is going to try and make Four Star General before he retires?” I asked.

 

“You know Chris, I don’t think so. He has two more years before he has in his twenty years. He might get one more star before he retires. I really think he has his eye set toward politics right now. He will be only forty two when he retires from the military.

 

I have heard him talk more than once about running for Governor for the State of Texas. Knowing my dad, he will run and, further, he will win.” I said giving my insight.

 

“When do you think that’s going to happen?”

 

“Soon, I know that. He will finish this tour of duty and come home. He will probably start gathering money for the run, and start it right after he returns. He will need to get started fast if he wants to get it in two years.”

 

“Why do you say that? We just had an election that Bush won.”

 

“That’s true, but you have to start running two years out in order to get anywhere in politics. At least that is what I heard my dad say over and over again. He is already losing time not having started gathering money for the campaign. I don’t want to bore you with this. I just think by the time I head into my junior year things might be real different in my life and it will affect those around me, I expect.”

 

“It is just neat to think about your father planning to do that!”

 

We sat there for a little longer talking about the chances his father will run for governor. Josh is almost one hundred percent for sure he will do it. As he said, things can change, so who knows.

 

The bell is about to ring, so we get up and head back to the main building. Right as the hallway goes into two different directions, I said my customary goodbyes. This time though I handed Josh the note I wrote him.

 

“Please read the note and do not let anyone else see it. Please don’t get offended or angry with me about what I wrote in the note!” I whispered in Josh’s ear as I handed him the note in a handshake.

 

Walking to my locker my heart is beating so fast I think it is going to rip out of my chest. I have taken my first step with Josh! I hope I didn’t just screw up big time and lose a friend in the long run.

 

(JOSHUA’S POINT OF VIEW)

 

I want to read the note that Chris just gave me. I don’t want Eric to know about the note so I have to be calm and collected as we are at the lockers. Lucky for me, Eric and I sit in the back row in our next period class. Since its math and I am good at math, I don’t really need to pay total attention to the teacher as I do in other classes.

 

When the bell rang and we took our seats and I unfolded the note and spread it evenly in my math notebook. To anyone that might be looking at me it would look as though I am going over my assignment from the day before. The first ten minutes of class, that is what we are supposed to do. I normally either draw in my notebook or just stare at the sheet of paper in front of me. I do my homework the night before, and it is rare I need to go over it the next day.

 

Mr. Becker told us to get out our notebooks and go over our assignment from the day before and I looked started to glance at the note. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, and there wasn’t. I look back to the note, my heart starting to beat really fast as started reading it.

 

Josh

 

I do not know how to start this note to you so I will just jump in the deep end. I have noticed that you have been looking at me as much as I have been looking at you. I really find you attractive and I love your personality. You never let anything get you down. You are always laughing and joking around and that makes me laugh and want to joke around. Your love of life is contagious.

 

When I first saw you with Elizabeth, I thought I was screwed, but at the same time I saw you looking at me whenever we were in the pool, the showers, or just walking and talking. After adding it all up, I thought to myself that I might have a chance with you.

 

I really don’t know you real well and this could be just you being a really friendly, outgoing, caring guy or, I might actually have a chance to prove to you I can be the one. I love the way you are. You are confident with yourself and those around you. You are a very handsome guy and any girl (or guy) would be lucky to have you.

 

I stay up at night just thinking about you. When I am not awake, I am dreaming of you. Nothing bad, just us being together is all. I really hope I am not crossing the line with you and if so, I am sorry. I just needed to tell you and the only way I knew how without losing my nerve is by writing this letter to you! I have tried several times to tell you and I have chickened out each time.

 

If you haven’t gotten it yet, I am gay and I really like you a lot. I am daring to hope you are gay too and that I have a chance with you. I want to make my dreams come true and go out with you. Please tell me I have a chance.

 

At the same time if you don’t and I have made a huge mistake thinking we share something in common, please stand in my shoes and see where I’m coming from. I hope I have read you right and that if I was wrong about having a chance with you that you won’t show this letter to anyone. I’m trusting that you won’t make fun of me and spread it around that I am gay. If I am wrong, please toss this letter and I hope, at least, I can keep you as a friend.

 

Your Friend,

Chris

 

I sat there reading the letter a couple of more times before we were asked to turn in our homework. I closed my notebook and just sat there more than likely, with a big old grin on my face. I couldn’t believe what I wanted the most, is happening. I now need to figure out a way to talk to Chris and let him know I have same thoughts and feelings about him.

 

I can’t wait to see Chris and let him know what I think. I know I can’t go and jump his bones as much as I’d like to! I will need to take it slow and move into a regular relationship as possible. As long as there isn’t any outside interference, we can do it.

 

(ELIZABETH’S POINT OF VIEW)

 

 

Ok, now I am getting really angry! I made Josh’s morning a living hell and now his afternoon but it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. All I know I need to either step it up or stop it all together. As I was thinking about it, my friend Janice took me out of my thoughts.

 

“Hey Liz, have you heard what is going on with Josh?” Janice said in a catty way.

 

“No what is going on with him? Besides teasing of him at breakfast and lunch, I mean the teasing of his friend Chris!” I responded.

 

“You know that girl Bernice we have in our classes?”

 

“Yeah the creepy looking one!” I said with disdain.

 

“Yeah that is the one. You told me once she is all the time looking at Josh”

 

“Yeah I have seen her drooling over Josh several times.” I said wondering where this was going.

 

“Well, Cathy told me that she saw Bernice talking to Josh during lunch in the corner of the stairway. She wanted to know what was being said because it looked a little too personal with the way they were standing so close to each other.

 

Anyways she tried to get close enough to hear and couldn’t get all of what was being said. But she was able to get enough to find out that she and Josh are now going out!” Janice related.

 

“That two timing, back stabbing bitch! Who in the hell does she think she is?” I nearly screamed.

 

“I don’t know, but you were right to be worried about her. I think Josh dropped you to go out with her instead.”

 

“I can promise you I will fix that right up right now!” I said as I got up to beat the crap out of that woman. As I walked up to her, the teacher caught me and told me to take a seat. Bernice was saved by the teacher right now, but I will get her without a doubt.

 

When the bell rang, I went to find Josh. I needed to hear it from his mouth. Josh was not by his locker nor was Eric. I know for sure where to catch up with Josh. I will grab him as he is going to swim team practice. I need to know why he chose her over me.

 

My last two period classes took forever. I can’t believe how long they are dragging on. Finally, the final bell rings and I head to catch Josh before he enters the locker room. After that I wouldn’t be able to talk with him until after practice and I can’t wait that long.

 

As I walked up to the natatorium entrance, there was Josh walking in front of me. I am totally pissed and I want him to know it. I start to run towards him. When I reach Josh I slapped him across the back of his head. Josh started to rub it as he turned around. I am not going to allow him to say a word.

 

“You are an asshole, Josh. How could you do this to me? And with all people; Bernice! She isn’t worthy to carry your books, much less you dating her. Why did you do this, Josh?” I am red hot and I want him to know it.

 

“Let me tell you this, the next time you hit me. I do not care you are a woman, I will hit you back. No one, I mean NO ONE hits me! The reason I am not going out with you is this; you are a bitch. You cannot stand not being in control and controlling everyone and everything around you. I am tired of it and no guy with anything worthwhile between his legs will put up with it!”

 

“That isn’t fair and you didn’t answer my question, are you going out with Bernice?”

 

“It’s none of your business first of all. And yeah I am going out with Bernice. We decided to go out today at lunch since you need to know so badly!” Josh replied.

 

“Josh this isn’t fair to me! You know this isn’t fair to me at all!” I whined.

 

“I know this Elizabeth: We broke up and I do not want a thing to do with you. In order to get me back you go and pull the stunts you pulled today. Chris is a good guy. You cannot see it with the blinders you have on. You hate him for whatever you THINK he might be. You were either wronged by someone or, man, did your parents do a number on you. Whatever the reason is, it was not right doing what you did.

 

Now, just in case you aren’t clear on how things stand, let me clarify; by your own actions, not once, but twice, you offended me to my core. You have caused me angst with my family. Then, you inflict pain and suffering on an innocent, good guy that has NOTHING to do with what happened between you and me.

 

So, to put a bow on it, you have been DUMPED. There is no going back. There is no fixing this. You screwed up and you are now paying the consequences. Now, step back and examine all that has happened; know your own responsibility for how things are and how they came to be this way. Be honest with yourself and quit the pity party. Get on with your life; a life that does NOT include me being your puppy boy” Josh said with passion but with no anger.

 

I know Josh is right. I am wrong for what I did, but I didn’t know any other way to get him back. I wanted to see him hurt as I am right now. Instead I pushed him towards another girl. But I can’t just give up.

 

“I can’t have you break up with me one day and a couple days later you start dating another girl. No I can’t have that. You think what I have done so far is mean? I haven’t even started yet. Until you drop Bernice and Chris, I will never let up!” I ranted

 

“You know what Elizabeth? Do what you want to do; it won’t work. We are done for good. I really do not know what I saw in you from the beginning anyways!”

 

With that josh just walked off. What in the world is going on here? I want Josh back so bad it hurts. He is going places here at high school and his family, don’t get me started. I will do what ever it takes to make Josh see the light. He is better off dating me than Bernice or any other woman!

 

(CHRIS’ POINT OF VIEW)

 

All through fourth period I was nervous about what I had done. Now I wish I could take it back. I should have told him in person instead of a letter. I should follow up soon. Today soon to make sure every thing is alright.

 

I was called over the intercom to report to the counselor’s office. Everyone whispered that I was in trouble. There are several other remarks we say when one of us is called over the intercom. I got up and headed out the classroom.

 

I walked by Josh’s fourth period class. I peaked in and saw him sitting in the back row talking with Eric. He is smiling that big smile of his as he and Eric were talking. I hope I am doing the right thing telling Josh about me. No matter what, I still want to keep him as a friend.

 

As I looked in seeing Josh laughing, I wonder if Josh has read my note or not. If he has and he is this way after reading it, it could mean two things; he is gay and wants me to be his boyfriend, I dare hope, or it doesn’t bother him I am gay, he isn’t, but we can still be friends. I want it to be the first of the two. By the looks of it I am sitting pretty well.

 

As I walked into the counselor’s office, I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the feeling that you are going to be hit with a ton of bricks when you walk in the door of a room.

 

Still with that feeling in my pit of my stomach, I walk into the office. The first face I saw as I walked in is coach. I breathed a sigh of relief! But that sigh of relief turned to horror as I looked over the room. On the other side of the room is my father. He is just sitting there as if he is the king of the world.

 

“Chris please takes a seat where we can get this meeting on its way!”

 

I took the seat in the middle of coach and my father. I was so nervous I thought I am going to throw up on the floor right there. I do not know how I am holding it in, but I am.

 

“Ok Chris the reason I had you called to my office is because your dad here wants you to go home. Before we go any further, I want you to know your dad cannot make you go with him. The protective order is in effect and the decision is yours.”

 

I looked over at coach then back over at me dad as my councilor is talking to us. My dad has this smug look on his face as he always does. He thinks he has beaten the system once again. I am terrified of my dad to my last bone.

 

“Now Chris I need to know what you want to do. Do you want to go back with your father or stay with Mr. Montoya and his wife?”

 

I just looked at my councilor again and back to the coach and my dad. I knew the answer it just didn’t want to leave my lips. My head is screaming at me to answer. Answer this guy and tell him who you want to live with right now. ANSWER HIM!

 

“Chris I need the answer now please!”

 

Finally my mouth opened and the words started to come out. “I want to live with……..”

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED……………….

 

NOTE TO READERS:

{Ok now look at this! As the story begins to unfold more and more there are more secrets revealing themselves. As the chapter came to a close is Chris going to go home with his father? He normally folds under pressure and does whatever is expected of him to do. He took the very first steps on getting a relationship with Josh. It looks like Josh is going to throw caution to the wind and take Chris up on his offer. Or will he? Elizabeth, Josh’s now ex, continues to cause trouble for Josh and anyone close to him. Do you think Josh will fold, dump the friendship, Bernice, and go back to Elizabeth to calm down the storm that is about to come. Eric is looking around and getting a little suspicious about what is unfolding before his eyes. Right now he has not put one and one together yet, but will he? Then look at the other open plots hanging out there. Dad, mom and brothers of Josh play a big roll in Josh’s life. There is so much going right now, I wouldn’t skip a chapter. So stick around there is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}
EDITOR’S CORNER:

 

Well, here we are, once again, with a cliffhanger! Now I’m sorry I ever discussed this technique! Now, I’m in a real pickle; this is the last chapter of this story I have. Last time I was able to jump right into the next chapter. Such is not the case this time. I, like you, will have to wait for the cliffhanger to resolve.

I think Chris, having had some space and time away from his dad, has found his backbone. Hey, he got up the nerve to write the note to Josh, after all.

Elizabeth; wow, what a mean spirited, selfish, conniving person she is. I’m glad Josh saw her true colors before things got too serious. My bet is that she’s going to be a LOT of trouble before she falls prey to her own doings. Sometimes vindication takes a long time, but I sense she is going to get her due in a major way.

I hope that Eric will remain true to Josh when he gets things figured out !

Well, I’m going to stew over this until I get the next chapter to edit.

I hope you all are enjoying Jacob’s tale as much as I am. Take a moment to drop him (and me) an e-mail and let us know what you think. Yes, your input is important and can, in some instances, have an effect on where the story goes. As is customary, flames will be politely ignored.

Be well and be safe until next time.
“Daddy” Rick