Not A Kiss - 10. Chapter 10

It was a while before I moved. I looked around me and the parking lot was almost deserted except for a few cars here and there. It was Friday night after all and most students were either at home or out partying. There was something peaceful about standing alone in an almost empty parking lot with a full moon above. As I looked up, I felt this presence watching me. I turned around.

It was Lee.

“Lee? How long have you been standing there?”

He didn’t say anything. I looked at him closely and was startled to see this deep sadness etched into his handsome face. It only lasted for a second because his lips suddenly formed into a smile which lit up his whole face. His sadness somehow touched me so that I couldn’t just brush it off as a pigment of my imagination.

“Hey, Danny. Everything ok with you? Was that Joey?”

“Yeah,” I said. “We went to the park and talked. I just dropped by to pick up Ced so we can go home. I invited him over, I hope you don’t mind.” I looked at his face. He was still wearing a smile, but something was unnatural about it.

“No prob. You two need a ride? I can drop you off if you want,” he offered.

“No, thanks. We’re taking Ced’s car.” I paused a moment, then in almost a whisper, added, “Are you ok, Lee?”

He looked at me as if he was trying to decide whether to tell me what was wrong. I knew his answer before he said it, I saw it in his eyes.

“I’m fine. I just had a rough week. Danny, I’m always here if you need me, ok?”

I was disappointed but also mad at myself. Lee had always taken care of me. He’d always been there when I needed him. It had always been about me. What was I supposed to do now it was Lee who needed help?

I did nothing. Just stood there and felt so helpless. If I was a good brother, I would have noticed this earlier. Lee had shown signs he wasn’t himself, that he was in some kind of trouble. But I’d been so focused on my own problems, I ignored the signs. I just suddenly realized how selfish I was. I hated the feeling, I hated myself.

I moved towards Lee and embraced him. He must have been shocked at first, because he just stood there and did nothing. But after a while, he hugged me back. His embrace tightened to the point where I felt like he clung to me as if he was drowning and I was the only one who could save him. I felt so sorry for him that I made a silent vow to be a better brother. I would be here for him.

“Lee, I’m sorry. I maybe a lousy brother but I am still your brother and I love you so much. You can always come to me and talk to me about anything you like.” I said as I tried to fight off tears.

Lee broke our hug and held both my arms tightly. His expression was a mix of sadness and anger.

“You’re not a lousy brother, ok? I’m your big brother and it is my job to take care of you. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” He said this all with conviction, only his eyes betrayed him.

“But who will take care of you?” I asked.

At first, Lee seemed like he was going to break down. But then, he straightened himself and managed to smile. The smile extended to his green eyes, the same color as mine, which almost fooled me.

“I’ll be fine, Danny. I’m late for my date,” he said as he looked at his watch.

“Lee...”

“Danny, it’s getting late. Ced must be worried by now. Besides, Mom and Dad will throw a fit if you bring a guy home so late at night. They’ll probably think you’re up to no good.”

Before I could say anything, he walked away from me towards his car. He rolled down his window to wave goodbye then rode off.

********************

When I opened our room, I found Cedric playing with my guitar. He was strumming a slow love song which surprised me. He seemed to me more like a slow rock kind of guy. He must have heard me open the door because he stopped playing and looked up. His mischievous smile immediately disappeared.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, standing up.

“A lot of things,” I said as I plopped myself on the bed.

“Tell me.”

“It’s a long story and it’s already late so we need to go now. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

I got up from the bed. Cedric picked up a small bag and slung it on his shoulders. After a moment of hesitation, I picked up the guitar and took it with me.

“Ready?” Cedric asked.

“Ready,” I said as I looked at Cedric and noticed his clothes. He was dressed as if he was going out on a date. I couldn’t help but grin.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as we stepped into the elevator. He must have noticed the grin still lingering on my lips.

“Nothing,” I said. “What are you wearing?”

I saw his cheeks turn red.

When we got off the elevator, Cedric led the way out of the front door, to the parking lot and finally his car. Unlike Joey’s, Cedric’s car was new. The color was almost the same shade of blue as Cedric’s eyes. I was very much impressed, although I wasn’t really into cars. But this one must have cost a fortune. Not only was he good looking, he was rich as well.

Cedric was about to open the passenger door for me but I stopped him and very gently shoved him away. He looked at me confused, as if asking what he did wrong. I moved my head from side to side and Cedric just shrugged and went inside the car. I followed.

“Where to my handsome prince?” he asked while he bowed his head a bit.

I told him the address while trying my best not to laugh. He seemed to know the general area but still needed some directions. He drove leisurely and took the longest route to my home. He didn’t mention anything about Joey although it felt like he was dying to know what happened. I think the fact that I was not in shock was a load off his mind, but he was still curious.

“So you like love songs?” I teased.

“Who doesn’t?” he said with a grin.

“You’re right but somehow it doesn’t fit your personality. I mean you’re not the romantic type. Let’s face it, you’re a flirt.”

He didn’t say anything for a while. The traffic light turned red and he stopped the car. He then looked at me.

“I can be romantic,” he said as he peered deep into my eyes. I caught my breath and broke the contact.

“Go,” I said when I saw the light turn green.

We drove in silence except for the occasional instructions I gave him when he seemed not to know whether to go straight, right or left. Finally, he pulled up to my parent’s house. We got out of the car almost at the same time.

“This your house? Nice.” Cedric got his bag and my guitar from the backseat. He tossed the guitar to me and we made our way to the front door. I rang the bell since there was still light coming from the inside which meant that my parents were still up.

The door was opened by my mother. She beamed when she saw me.

“Daniel, it’s good that you’re home. How was school?” she said while she gave me a hug.

“School is fine, Mom. How are you and Dad? Are you doing fine even though I’m not here?” I teased.

She brushed my statement away with a wave of her hand.

“Don’t worry about us. The truth is, your Dad and I are worried about our baby. You’ve never been away from us for more than a day or two. Are you eating well? Do you get enough sleep?”

“Oh, Mom. I have a guest.”

It was only then that my Mom noticed Cedric. Cedric had this huge smile on his face and his eyes had an unusual twinkle.

Cedric was about to say something but then we all heard footsteps. We all watched Dad come out of the kitchen.

“Quick, Charles, Daniel has brought a friend.” Mom made it sound as if I brought home the guy that I would be with for the rest of my life. I felt Cedric looking at me but I kept my head down.

Dad approached and gave me a hug.

“Dad, Mom this is Cedric, my roommate. Cedric, these are my parents.”

Dad and Cedric shook hands. To my horror, Mom hugged Cedric.

“Nice to meet the both of you,” Cedric said. “I hope you don’t mind if I stay for the weekend.”

“Not at all, son. You’re more than welcome.” I didn’t know which was worse, my Dad calling Cedric ‘son’ or Mom looking from me to Cedric with a big smile on her face.

It was late so Cedric and I both refused dinner although we were both hungry. Mom prepared sandwiches for the both of us though which we accepted gladly. As soon as we finished, Mom made the two of us to go bed.

“Where is Cedric going to sleep, Mom?” I asked.

“In your room, of course.”

“What? What about the guestroom?”

“It’s... under repair.” I knew that Mom was lying. She couldn’t look straight at me.

“It’s fine, Dan. Let’s go,” Cedric said with a big smile on his face. If my guess was right, he was actually glad to be staying in my room.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” I whispered to Mom before leading Cedric to my room.

“Sorry about my parents,” I said when I finally closed the door.

“What are you talking about? Your parents are cool.”

“They’re worst than Lee. Did you see how excited they were that I brought a guy home? I apologize for the misunderstanding. I’ll set the record straight in the morning,” I said while shaking my head.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand. And there’s no need to set the record straight.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, the confusion evident in my tone.

Cedric sat on my bed. He took my hand and very gently pulled me towards him. I landed beside him. We were looking into each other’s eyes.

“Dan, I like you. I really, really like you.”

“But...”

“No buts,” he continued.

“But...”

“But nothing. I like you and I know that you like me too.” He smiled playfully.

“But...”

“Oh, you’re so frustrating,” he said. “Just say whatever it is that you want to say. I must warn you though that nothing you say will change my mind. I intend to be your boyfriend.”

“But you’re not even gay,” I finally managed to say.