Not A Kiss - 7. Chapter 7

We were silent on the drive back to the dorm and though I welcomed the silence beforehand, the silence now was awkward. I tried to get Liam’s attention twice but he just ignored me and kept his focus on the road. Liam seemed angry somehow. It was not as if I meant for our night together to end like this. I sighed and just gave up trying. I would have to talk to him another time when his mood has improved.

The car came to a stop and as I looked around me, I realized that we were in the dorm parking lot. I stole a quick glance at Liam. He still looked pissed.

“Can we talk about what happened?” I asked.

“No.”

“Fine,” I said with a slight edge in my voice. I was starting to lose my temper.

“Thanks for tonight,” I added, but he still said nothing.

I opened the door, got out and slammed it. I walked fast and in no time at all, was at the front door of the dormitory. Before I got inside though, I glanced back. Liam was nowhere in sight so he must’ve stayed inside the car.

A few minutes later, I arrived in front of my dorm room. Before I inserted the key in the lock, I whispered a prayer Cedric wouldn’t be mad at me too. I turned the key and pushed the door open.

Cedric sat slumped in a chair facing the door. He didn’t seem angry but to be honest, I rather wished he was. Instead, he looked so helpless and a bit pathetic. I bit my lip and felt remorse as I knew I was responsible for him looking like this.

“Ced,” I whispered.

It was a while before he looked up. When he did, his face lightened up a bit. I had never seen Cedric looked this down before. He was usually cheerful, like Sam.

“I’m sorry, Ced. I should have called. I... I didn’t think.”

“It’s ok, Dan. I just started to panic when you didn’t show up when night came,” he said softly.

“I knew you were with Sam so I tried to look for her number or address in your stuff.” He waved at my study table and it was in complete disarray. “I didn’t find her number but I found out her address so I went to her. You weren’t there.” There was no hint of accusation in his voice but since I was guilty, I felt condemned.

I was about to say that he should have called me first before going through all that trouble but I stopped myself. If I learned anything at all today, it was that I should not easily judge. Cedric did all that for me after all. I looked at him again and was surprised to realize that there seems to be something bothering him besides my late arrival. Maybe the fact I was with Liam?

“I’m here now Ced. Let’s go to bed, okay?” I asked.

He just nodded his head. I held his hand as he got up,then took hold of his waist while he slung his arm on my shoulder for support. We walked side by side a few paces towards his bed. I laid him on his bed and he was looking at my face. I blushed.

“Look, Ced, I know there’s something else bothering you. Want to talk to me about it?” I asked.

“No.” Somehow this conversation seemed familiar.

“Ok, I won’t push you but you’ll have to talk to me eventually. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, just as you were there for me yesterday.” I looked at his eyes, hoping that my eyes would convey to him my meaning if my words couldn’t get through to him.

“I think I need to sort this out myself. Don’t worry, I promise to tell you all about it when I’m ready,” he said as he smiled weakly.

I sighed. I didn’t know what else to do so I did what I thought was appropriate, I leaned down and kissed his forehead. As soon as I looked at his face, I regretted what I did. Cedric was close to tears. I opened my mouth to say something but before any word came out, he turned on his side. I wanted to reach out for him but decided to just let him deal with whatever it was on his own.

Slowly, I turned to face my side of the room. I wanted so much to clear up the mess that was my table but decided to leave it for tomorrow as it was already a bit late. Before I finally climbed to my bed, I went and turned off the light first.

“Good night, Ced,” I said.

He didn’t say anything for a while. In fact, I was convinced he had already fallen asleep but then I heard him reply “Good night, Dan.” in a very subdued voice.

********************

The next day, Cedric was back to his usual self. His booming laughter jolted me awake. I was surprised to hear him laugh after the way he looked last night. My surprise quickly transformed into embarrassment though when I realized what he was laughing at. He was pointing at something on my lower body. I looked and saw this very noticeable tent in my shorts. I grabbed my pillow and threw it at Cedric and used those few seconds to quickly lie face down to hide my morning wood.

“Hey, what did you do that for?” Cedric said.

I was on a mission. I had to get rid of my erection and fast. I thought of everything which might turn me off somehow but as far as I could tell, nothing was working. After a while, I fixed my attention at Cedric who had suddenly gone quiet. To my horror, he was now looking at my ass with a grin on his face.

“Hey, knock it out,” I said.

“Buddy, don’t blame me. You’re the one who put yourself in this position,” he said obviously amused.

I blushed, and got up from the bed while keeping my back at Cedric. Better my ass than... something else. As I grabbed a towel on my way out, I hoped that Cedric wouldn’t follow me to the public shower room.

********************

Cedric and I were in the cafeteria for lunch. He had not mentioned the ‘incident’ this morning but I still couldn’t look at him straight in the eye. He must have sensed my embarrassment because he was unusually quiet although I spied him looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes. We were, therefore, eating in silence when Sam came over.

“Where have you been?” she said as a way of greeting.

“Good day to you too, Sam. Care to join us for lunch?” I teased.

“Don’t play dumb,” she said.

“Who’s playing?” I asked smiling. “Oh by the way, I would introduce you to each other but I think we’re way past that already.”

“H-hi, Sam.” I had to look at Cedric when he said this and I was confused when I saw his reaction.

“Hello, Ced,” Sam said without looking at him, her attention still on me.

“Look, you can glare at me all you want but I won’t tell you anything. Who I was with last night is none of your business,” I said.

“Aha, so you were with someone last night. Not to worry, dear Daniel, I’ll find out who it is by myself. Goodbye.” She waved to both of us and left.

“What was that all about?” Cedric asked.

“Oh, Sam is very much interested in my social life. The intensity is almost equivalent to that of my brother Lee. Almost but not quite.”

“Why didn’t you tell her about Liam?” he said it very casually but I still felt that there was some meaning in his words.

“No reason,” I said, and then paused. “I could ask you the same thing you know.”
“Ask me what?”

“What was that all about?” I pointed in the direction Sam had left, my eyes fixed on him.

“What was what all about?” He acted confused but I knew he knew what I meant.

********************

As Cedric and I were leaving, Lee and Liam arrived. I waved at both of them but only Lee waved back. Liam ignored me completely. I hoped he would have completely forgotten what happened last night by now. How did I get to this point in my life?

I looked for Joey all day but hadn’t had any luck yet. I was a bit relieved but I knew only too well that I was just prolonging the inevitable.

How was I supposed to talk to someone I hadn’t seen in five years? Granted we had a past, but there was one thing we couldn’t escape. We’d grown up and the most complicated part was that we’d grown up apart. I couldn’t just have a conversation with him and ignore this void which was the five years we were not together.

Cedric, Joey and Liam. How could I be involved with these three guys? I mean seriously, was this some kind of joke? On the surface, they all seemed to like me. How did relationships get this complicated anyway? I should never have decided to give love another chance. That’s when all these troubles started. I just needed to figure out the proper thing to do because it seemed my actions somehow affected all of them.