Tales That Toby Tell - 8. Tell Me about Tim

I woke up to the sound of my door opening and I saw a muscular figure walking towards me. "Sorry I had to pee... couldn't find the toilet" said the figure. I rubbed my eyes like a little baby and I could now clearly see Josh standing in front of me. "What's the time?" I asked quietly. "Four" said Josh with an uncomfortable look on his face as he came to lay down next to me again.

"How did you sleep" I asked. Josh shook his head "No" He looked over at me "Connor was shivering like crazy so I had to go look for blankets. Also your dad was crying... I couldn't sleep" I felt ashamed for some reason. "Damn... I ate all my candy" said Josh, he wasn't feeling uncomfortable by the looks of it. if I was in his shoes I would feel so awkward.

"It's probably about what Connor's mother said... she was ruthless" I said to Josh who just nodded in agreement. We laid intertwined until the sun rose and I notice Josh was falling asleep. He moved closer and I felt it. Not to be out of line but his erection was pressed up against my upper leg. It felt good and I had never felt anything like it before. Still looking at his sleeping face I started to unbutton his jeans. I slipped my hand in and that's when I heard my dad crying aloud. I jerked and it woke Josh. I don't think he knew what I was doing but I jumped up and left the room. I met my mom in the hallway "What's wrong mom?" I asked scared. My mom was calm "Nothing Toby. Dad isn't sick just upset. He'll get over it soon, now back to bed" said my mom. "Toby? Toby is that you? Come here boy" I heard my dad say. I entered the room and dad was in a fetal position. He lifted himself upright. And I sat next to him.

"Tell Josh I'm sorry for all the drama... oh and your friend Connor too" My dad looked sad but luckily not sick or anything. "I can't stay in bed all day... I have a showing today...my job sucks" he said and I laughed a little. "What?" he asked and I answered "I think your straying away". Dad looked confused and I looked him in his eyes now. "Tell me about Tim" My dad sighed and looked at me with reluctant eyes but he knew he couldn't escape. "Maybe it will make you feel better" I said.

"Uhg... Okay Toby. But promise me you won't judge me and don't speak until I'm done" I nodded and my dad continued. " So you might not know this but I wasn't that popular in school. I was average. Just like you. In the last year of school everybody was afraid of doing the whole goodbye thing so we vowed to mke our final year something to remember. I noticed this boy Tim shadowing me. I didn't know what he wanted. He wore glasses and he was just all nerdy and rumour had it he was gay. This concerned me because we had spoken and the thought of people seeing us together made me uncomfortable

This rumour would become true because he was caught scribbling Adam loves Tim in a stall in the boys toilet. The guys who caught him brought him to me in the cafeteria. God it was awful" My dad started to tear up but I remained silent. "They were calling him a dirty pervert and said he wanted me. Personally I think they didn't care about me, they were just excited that they caught the poor guy. Anyway, they threw him at me telling me to spit on him. Other kids edged me on, shouting kill the fag!. Oh my God I wanted to die Toby! So I spat in his face and ran out. I heard laughter behind me. When I got home I slammed my palms to my face and screamed so hard I started to cry. I hated doing what I did.

The next day I went back to school and I opened my locker and out fell a rosy red letter and chocolates and I looked around me to make sure nobody saw me" Dad gave a little gigle and went on "I ran to the boys toilet and sat down on a stall, locked and I opened the letter and I read:

Dear Adam

This was supposed to be a love letter but due to recent events I had to change the theme. I already bought the chocolates so enjoy. Truth be told I am head over heals for you and I have been struggling to tell you this for the past few years. This year was our last ad I had to do it. The day you walked into biology I dropped my project because your smile was breath taking. I tried walking closer to you just to hear your voice and when I did I fell in love. Although we have only spoken briefly I must admit it. I was deeply in love even while we spoke. I wish you had noticed. So my dear Adam I'm afraid this world is just to cruel and I feel I would be better off in the beyond. I've been invisible all my life so being dead won't be that different right? I'm afraid I have to ask something really unpleasant of you. Please tell my mom and dad that I was a good boy and I had a friend. Also if you could please attend my funeral. I want to see you one last time.

Your's Happily

Tim, Timmy, Which ever you prefer.

The letter broke my heart. I couldn't speak I was more devastated then dad. "The letter hurt me. I was angry. How could he expect me to do this?... I was furious until I noticed something. Adam loves Tim. I was sitting in the stall where he had written it. Although it was untrue, I did not love him, I ran my fingers over the writing and whimpered in silence. So it was that he took his own life. His family was devastated. He was going to be the first person in their family to go to college. I did everything he asked but he haunts me to this day" My dad looked at me and we both sat tear eyed. At that moment the sun peered through the window and I had an epiphany. "Come" I said.

My dad got dressed and I surprisingly met Josh in the hallway. We kissed and he joined me and my dad as we walked to my car. Before our planned destination dad asked me to stop the car and dad got out and entered a flower shop which looked closed because it was so early but luckily there was someone. I looked at Josh sitting in the backseat wrapped in a blanket. He still looked asleep and had his morning head. He looked adorable. My dad popped in and soon we stopped at the cemetery.

I expected it to be foggy and eery but it wasn't. We followed dad as he showed us the way. We finally made it to the grave and dad got down on his knees, cryingly cleaning Tim's grave. He scooped the snow away and I picked up some twigs that had covered it over the years. There is something about seeing your dad quietly cry that warms your heart and still makes your heart break. My dad leaned forward and planted a massive bunch of red roses in front of Tim's tombstone. "Forgive me friend. I haven't been here since the day you were laid to rest... I am so sorry Tim... I failed you. I hope you are resting in peace" My dad place two fingers against his lips and ran it over Tim's name. That's when I noticed it actually read " Timothy Toby Hastings"

I knew what it ment and as I was still standing I wrapped my arms around my dad and told him to let go.