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The Art of Being Gay - 20. The Minister's Kid

The end of one story is merely the beginning of another. Meet Harrison, Justin's new college roommate. As Chad and Roy say good luck to Justin, we get a glimpse of the man who will be living with Justin in the freshman dorms.

The Minister’s Kid

“Why do we have to leave so early?” Amelia whined into his ear. “Nobody else was ready to go.”

“I promised your parents I’d have you home by curfew,” he said. “I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

“Harry, let’s go somewhere else. Some place private,” she whispered into his ear. His hair stood on end from her breath and his stomach lurched. He hated being called, ‘Harry,’ but that ship had sailed long ago. Everyone called him that even though it wasn’t his name. His name was Harrison, not Harry. Once he got away from here, he’d introduce himself properly so no one called him by that foul name.

Harry. As in Tom, Dick, and just like everybody else, except that was one thing Harrison had never been; like everyone else.

“You leave for the U tomorrow and I want to give you something special so you won’t forget me,” Amelia cooed. She was pawing at him again. That was another thing he hated was her constant touching. It was the bad kind of touch too; the soft feeling of fingers caressing his skin and it drove him batty. Every inch of his skin cried out for him to push her away. He’d made that mistake a couple of times and so it wasn’t happening. He’d just tolerate her touch, for now. She was right. Tomorrow he’d be away from her clawing and grabbing him.

“I told you, I don’t need that,” Harrison said, stopping at a red light. “I won’t forget you. We’ve talked about this.”

Amelia snorted at him, pushing his arm. “Did you know I’m the only girl in our group that hasn’t, um, gone all the way?”

“I’m sorry, Amelia, but you know the deal. I’m waiting until I get married,” Harrison said, swallowing hard. “I promised my parents and that’s that.”

Amelia sighed and grabbed his arm again. “I respect that. It’s just when you get into the dorms and all these girls are around you, I’m afraid you’ll forget about me.”

“I’ll never forget about you,” Harrison said. “I have absolutely no interest in any other girl.” He felt that was a fair statement. He didn’t.

“You say that now, but I know what college parties are like. You’ll get drunk and some girl will throw herself at you,” she said, softly touching his jawline. Harrison could feel his muscles bunch beneath his skin, protesting the feeling. “Even a sweet guy like you is no match for some of those girls.”

“I don’t drink,” Harrison answered through gritted teeth. “No one’s going to get me to do anything I don’t want to.”

Harrison could feel Amelia begin to quiver. He kept his eyes on the road because if he looked over at her face, he’d lose it. She was so sad. It was obvious with her shaking and the tiny squeaks coming out of her. He knew the signs. Amelia was about to blow.

“Why did I hook up with a minister’s kid anyway?” she yelled, pushing away from him. “You’re such a goody two shoes. It’s infuriating.”

Harrison closed his eyes for a moment and slowed down. He saw a side road ahead and turned onto it. As they crept down the tree lined road, he listened to her angry sobs. She was frustrated. He understood that. It had taken him a few times to get that, but now he did. Amelia had been a challenge for him. She did so many things that seemed unreasonable, irrational, and downright odd. His mother explained things. Then it made sense.

“Amelia, I’m sorry,” Harrison said, pulling into the parking lot of a park. He turned to her and forced himself to look into her eyes. “I think what we have is very special. I don’t want to push things with you. You’re only sixteen. I’m eighteen and going off to college. I won’t take advantage of you.”

“It’s not taking advantage of me when I’m throwing myself at you,” she answered, looking out the window. “I know you’re different, Harry. I get that. I just want you to show me how you feel.”

Harrison put on his fake smile. He knew it was good enough to fool most people. “We can make out if you want.”

“Just take me home, “Amelia said. She smiled at him and Harrison figured that meant it was okay. He wished people would just say what they were thinking, though he had to admit he rarely did so himself.

Harrison agreed and backed out of the parking spot. He noticed Amelia wasn’t looking at him now. She was staring out the window and something told him things weren’t okay. He didn’t know why.

He was mostly relieved she had stopped touching him so much.

The drive to her house was silent. Harrison kept trying to think of things to say, but he was coming up short. The quiet was nice. Amelia sniffled a couple of times and he wanted to ask her what was wrong. The words wouldn’t come to him. Instead he continued until they got to her house on Lincoln Street.

“I had a nice time tonight,” Harrison said. “I’m going to miss you.”

Amelia turned and gave him a smile. It wasn’t a real one and her eyes were red and cheeks moist. “I’m going to miss you too. Are you stopping by before you and your parents leave tomorrow?”

“If you want me to,” Harrison said softly. “You’re upset.”

“I am. I’d like to say goodbye before you go,” she answered. “I have something for you.”

“Oh,” Harrison said. “I’ll see you then.”

“See you tomorrow, Harry,” she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. Harrison didn’t know what to make of that. Usually she was all over him, smacking at his lips and clutching his arm until it went numb. “You’re a very special guy.”

“Um, Amelia,” Harrison said. “I like you, a lot.” He didn’t know why he added the ‘a lot’ to the statement, but he felt like he should qualify it somehow. He did feel closer to her than anyone else, except his family. It was a strange feeling that was close to ‘like a friend’ without actually being that intimate. The teen still didn’t know how people did it. There was something missing from him and it made him sad.

“Oh, Harry,” Amelia gushed. She launched herself across into his space, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She squeezed and for a moment, Harrison felt a bond with her. Amelia was using the right kind of touch, the kind that didn’t feel so creepy. He felt his muscles relax for a second until she kissed his mouth. Then his skin began to crawl again. “See you tomorrow.”

Amelia pulled away and bounced out of his vehicle. She ran up the short apron to their garage. As she got to the side door, she turned. Harrison could see her face was even wetter than before. But the smile on her face was real and the big wave she gave him felt nice. He would miss her. Even if she didn’t make him feel like he was supposed to; she was special too.

Harrison waved back as she went through the door. He turned the steering wheel and hit the gas. He was on his way home, finally. The young man was exhausted from the exchange. It was like that most times with her. Trying to figure out what Amelia was thinking and how she felt about things was so hard.

If only she could tell him how she felt like his mom always did.

Harrison smiled thinking of how his mom would start each conversation with what she felt. It was easier to figure out what the words meant when the emotions were clearly defined. His dad did that sometimes though his father would forget from time to time. Then Harrison would spend a few minutes trying to figure out if his dad was pleased or annoyed. At least his father never really got mad at him. He couldn’t stand that idea. A sudden fear coursed through his veins.

The young man looked down at the clock and relaxed. It was ten minutes to ten o’clock. He hadn’t brought Amelia home late. That was good. His father made him promise to always bring her home on time. It didn’t look good if the minister’s kid was out gallivanting past curfew with a girl two years younger than he. His father had explained it carefully. Harrison took it seriously because his dad made a lot of sense. People were very strange about the children of a minister. He’d witnessed it too many times to not know that.

It made him think of his classmate, Hannah, who had the same problem. She didn’t deal with it well at all. Her mom was a Lutheran minister. Teachers constantly berated her if she did anything they didn’t like. They’d remind everyone that Hannah’s mother was clergy and therefore she should know better. Hannah was a nice girl but she was no saint.

They had talked a few times about how hard it was to be a minister’s kid. She seemed to be relieved he had the same experiences. After that Harrison thought maybe he’d actually made a friend. That was short-lived seeing the other side of her.

Harrison kept an eye on her because her temper made him nervous. She got pissed sometimes because Harrison didn’t talk to people in class or forget homework like Hannah did. One time she flew off the handle telling Harrison he was making her look bad. Nostrils flaring, she confronted him in the lunch room and yelled at him.

Harrison couldn’t understand how his behavior affected her. Lots of people had trouble with him though. Most of the girls were okay but the other guys seemed to hate him or ignore his presence. They’d call him Holy Harry or Suck-up Grant. Harrison merely did what the teachers told him to. The other boys made him anxious anyway. He stayed away if he could, though the past two years hadn’t been nearly as bad as when he was younger. There were even a couple of guys he hung around with, not friends exactly, but close acquaintances.

Harrison wondered if he’d miss Todd and Cyril when he left. He knew he’d miss his parents really bad. That was a given. He suspected he might even miss Amelia somewhat, though not her hands and constant chatter. The guys his parents called his friends were a different story. He liked being around them sometimes. He knew they enjoyed his company since they teased him. From watching others interact, he understood friends did that. But, how would he feel about not seeing them anymore? That he didn’t know. He didn’t feel things like others did.

As he pulled into his driveway, Harrison remembered when he was a kid, probably about eleven or so, when he first heard the word ‘sociopath.’ He got really scared. Sociopaths don’t have empathy for other people. At first, he was so afraid to say anything. His mom noticed he was even more withdrawn and confronted him.

In a burst of tears, Harrison told her of his fears. Sitting in the car in the driveway, he could recall his feelings that day. It washed over him like the hot air coming out of a grill when you opened it up. Harrison could feel his skin get flushed and sticky with the impact of remembered emotions.

She told him that was silly. He was tender-hearted and reminded him of when he cried and the other kids laughed at him. Levi Compton fell off the top of the monkey bars and broke his arm. A sliver of bone stuck out piercing his skin and he’d wailed in pain. Harrison had started bawling just as hard. It hurt to see the other boy’s anguish. Levi’s pain had felt like it was his own.

But, it wasn’t too long after the event his mother and father had him talk to some counselors at school. He recalled the whispered, frantic conversations on the phone. They looked at him, puzzled. His parents had never looked at him like that. They also stopped telling him how they felt. It was a strange time for him.

In the end, they had him tested. He remembered it well. The woman was dressed in a holiday sweater with bells on it, red, green and white. She had him play with some toys and then asked a bunch of odd questions. Harrison knew all the right answers. It wasn’t exactly how he’d react or what he felt inside, but he knew what he should feel. So, he passed. He knew that because the puzzled and concerned looks disappeared from his parents’ faces.

Harrison opened up the door and climbed out of the SUV. The night was humid and the air was thick. The late August heat felt good on his skin as the memories of those weird times passed from his mind.

He walked up to the side door of the garage and stepped in. Two cars were parked side by side, one blue, one red. It was exactly as it should be. He walked past them and went into the house, a cool blast greeting him and drying his cheeks in an instant. “I’m home,” he called out.

“We’re over here,” his father’s voice responded. “Come to the den, son.”

Harrison took off his shoes and lined them up on the mat. He trotted through the kitchen and into the family room. His mother was sleeping in a chair in front of the television, which was playing a rerun of an old sitcom, one set in a bar or something. He didn’t like television. Most of the time, it hurt his head. He turned it off and walked into the next room.

Harrison loved his father’s den. It was dark, quiet, and had lots of books lining shelf after shelf along three walls. His dad was at his desk sitting in the warm glow of a gooseneck lamp. There was a laptop to the side, open to their church’s website. In front of his father was a thick book with scribbles of writings along the margins. “Did you have fun at the party?”

“I did,” Harrison lied. It was hard keeping track of everyone’s moods and jokes. If Amelia was exhausting, his school mates were even worse merely because of the sheer number of them. “I said my goodbyes. Most everyone is leaving in the next week or so.”

“How is Amelia taking it?” his father asked.

“She’s worried I’m going to find another girl,” Harrison said. “I told her I wasn’t interested in anyone else.”

His father sighed and took a page marker and placed it in the book. He closed it and gestured for Harrison to sit in the arm chair behind him. Harrison sat down and waited for the lecture.

“She might be right. When you start meeting new people in college, all the old people you know start to fade away.” His father leaned forward and smiled at him gently. “That’s okay. It’s natural.”

Harrison listened closely. He wasn’t particularly worried about the people from here fading away, except for his parents and grandparents. He was now a little concerned about meeting new people. At least here in Lake City, he knew everyone his whole life from grade school and church. At the University of Minnesota, he wouldn’t know anyone except a couple of other students, but he didn’t even like Tiffany Rogers or Sam Riverton. Most of his class was going to Winona State down river from here.

Harrison obviously didn’t respond in time because then his father’s brows knitted and he cleared his throat. “Son, you look worried. Are you concerned about not knowing anyone at college?”

Harrison shook his head, not because he wasn’t concerned. He was shaking his head because he’d never even thought about it before his father brought it up. “It will be different without you and mom,” he finally said.

“You may get a little homesick for us and that’s okay too. The people you meet in college will become some of the most important people in your life.”

Harrison could see his father thought those words would make him feel better so he nodded in agreement. Inside, he was now seething with worry. How was he going to meet and handle interpreting all these new people and what they meant? He wasn’t used to figuring out people he didn’t know. He avoided new kids in school precisely for that reason.

“I’m excited to move on with my life,” Harrison finally said. His father’s face lit up. Yep, that was the right thing to say.

“Remember we’re not that far away and there’s always the phone if you need to talk,” his father said, sitting back in the chair, grinning. “Oh, the memories I have of college are such fond ones.”

“Like what?” Harrison asked. Maybe if his father described some things, he’d know more how to react. They had been the perfect people to show him what others expected. He needed something, anything to go by. As a minister’s kid, he heard all kinds of stories though not who they were about.

“I’m still good friends with my dorm roommate from freshman year,” his father said. “You know Freddy. We were lucky to have some of the same interests and not drive each other crazy. The dorms can be a little nuts some times.”

“Oh,” Harrison said. “You met mom there too, right?”

“I did. I fell in love with her my junior year at Carleton. She didn’t have the time of day for me, but I knew she was the one. I chased after her like a maniac,” his father chuckled.

“He made a damned fool of himself,” Harrison heard his mother say from the doorway. “I’ll never forget when he raced down my hallway with all those balloons.”

Harrison looked over to see she was smirking at his dad. “Here I was, an innocent freshman girl with a half-naked man in the middle of winter asking me to be his Valentine.”

“It worked,” his dad said, chuckling. “I tricked you into going out with me.”

“You did,” she said. “It’s my second happiest memory. My first is when they put you in my arms.”

Harrison blushed. His parents were always telling him that. “Are you going to miss me?” he asked.

“Something fierce,” she said, coming into the room. She perched herself on the arm of the chair and pulled him into a tight embrace. Harrison almost giggled as she squeezed him hard, just like he liked it.

“I’ll miss you too,” Harrison said.

“What are you two yakking about anyway?” his mother asked, letting him go. “Is he telling you old college stories or what?”

“He’s nervous about meeting new people,” his father said.

“You already know your roommate,” she said. “You said he was a nice guy.”

“Justin seems cool,” Harrison said. “He was easy to talk to.”

“That’s good,” his mom said, kissing him on the forehead. “Before you know it, you’ll be the best of friends.”

“I guess,” Harrison said. “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow. I should go to bed.”

“Sure,” she said, standing up. “You’re all packed, right?”

“I am,” he said. “Good night, Dad.”

“Good night, Harrison. Never forget, we picked you because we love you. Out of all the children we could have adopted, you’re the one we had to have.”

Harrison shook his head and cuffed his father’s shoulder with a loosely closed fist. “I think I was the one who lucked out.”

“We’re all lucky,” his father said, turning back to his desk. “Sleep tight.”

“I will,” Harrison said, heading out of the den and down the hall to his room.

Once he stepped inside and shut the door softly until it clicked, Harrison relaxed. He loved his room, his sanctuary, and didn’t know how he’d handle having a roommate. The excitement and thrill of getting away to college had blinded him to that issue. He was escaping the daily drudge of all the people around him only to become thrust into a place with people he didn’t know including someone he didn’t know sleeping in HIS SPACE.

Harrison felt his pulse race as the implications began to mount in his head. Tomorrow night he’d be in a room with another person. “Shit,” he swore to himself, looking around his bedroom.

His bags were carefully stacked against the wall next to his closet. But, otherwise his room was just as he liked it. There was a ceiling high bookcase with his various collections. For a while, he collected stamps and those books were carefully lined up and cataloged. Next to it was his rock collection. They were neatly mounted in boxes with individual compartments and labeled precisely. His model ships were arranged in a row on the top shelf. Otherwise, his books were placed in alphabetical order by genre.

He had a poster of Einstein on the wall, encased in glass. On the other side of his desk was one of Stephen Hawking, exactly the same size. His desk had a lamp, a cup filled with matching pens, and a calendar pad. There were no markings on the mat. Harrison always kept it immaculate. Usually his computer was sitting on the corner of the desk, its lines parallel to the edges. It was in his bag ready to go tomorrow.

It bothered him the computer wasn’t in its usual place.

His floor was clean and the rug was at a perfect 45 degree angle to the bed, which was made with hospital corners. Harrison’s eyes noted each thing in its place. He breathed deeply and his anxiety eased.

“Before you know it, you’ll be the best of friends.”

Justin would be in the dorm room. His roommate would sleep in the other bed and his things would be in the space. Justin’s things would be near his things. That wasn’t so bad. Except what if he didn’t like to keep things in their place? Harrison had been in Todd’s room and it was a mess. Even worse, it smelled. Cyril’s was slightly better. It didn’t smell, but the guy would throw his bag on the floor and toss his clothes in his closet.

This hadn’t occurred to him either. What if Justin was like those guys? Harrison heard his stomach gurgle, not in hunger, but as the precursor to something worse; his skin crawling. When he started getting uncomfortable, it felt like his skin was trying to creep off his body. “Calm down,” he whispered. “He was a very nice guy.”

Harrison pulled out his desk chair and sat down. He closed his eyes and remembered how they met at Johnny Rockets and ate bacon cheeseburgers and bacon cheese fries. Justin was a big guy, weighing in at about two hundred and twenty pounds, fleshy but muscled. He had an oval face that was kind and expressive. Harrison was really happy about that. It was easier to understand people when they made obvious faces that matched their words.

Justin had chatted about his father and his upcoming wedding. Harrison talked about his interests in science and history. Justin wanted to go into journalism. He loved sports, which was something Harrison never cared about, but he didn’t seem obsessed with it, just passionate.

Justin liked words as did Harrison. The young man didn’t sprinkle ‘dude’ and ‘fuck’ and ‘like’ in his sentences like Cyril did. Justin spoke clearly and openly about many topics and they both found a fondness for action movies and mysteries.

Harrison remembered he didn’t feel as tired after meeting with the other guy. Usually talking with someone was so exhausting, but Justin was easier to talk to than most. Harrison realized this was helping. If he focused on the good things he found with his new roommate, it wasn’t quite as frightening.

Justin had a girlfriend who was going to a different college nearby. The way he talked about Candy was so different from his own experiences. She was clearly someone he cared for deeply, maybe even loved. Harrison tried to tell him about Amelia in the same way. It felt flat and rehearsed though. Not that Justin seemed to notice.

If only he knew that Justin was neat and as careful as Harrison was. Was that too much to wish for?

The red rush of blood was pounding in his ears. His eyes were closed but the pulse of a growing headache was there, its painful thread becoming more apparent with each passing moment. Harrison rubbed his arm, hard. The creeping feeling, like bugs were climbing onto him, got worse. There was only one thing he could do.

Harrison walked over and sat down in the corner. He pulled his legs up and hugged them as tightly as he could. The young man laid his forehead on his knees and let go. His silent tears wet his jeans. His breath came in gasps. But, it started to work. First his stomach calmed. Then his head cleared. Finally, his skin began to feel less traitorous. It was beginning to settle down; the bugs marching away and the itch easing.

It was going to be okay.

********

“I’m Justin,” Harrison heard his roommate say as he set his two suitcases down near the closet. He turned to see his father smiling broadly and shaking the big guy’s hand.

“I’m Jared Grant. It’s great to meet you. This is my wife, Isabelle,” his dad said, pointing to his mother.

“Are you all moved in already?” she asked, also shaking Justin’s hand firmly.

“Not quite,” Justin said, with an easy grin. “My dad and his fiancé are downstairs grabbing the last of it.”

“Oh, good. We’ll get to meet them,” Harrison’s father said. “What are you thinking of majoring in, Justin?”

“Journalism,” Justin said, pulling a pile of underwear out of his bag. “I’m looking into sports fitness as well.”

“You seem pretty motivated already,” his father chuckled. “I didn’t know what I wanted to major in until the end of my sophomore year.”

“I love writing and I love sports so it’s pretty easy for me to focus,” Justin answered. “Harrison said he’s interested in business.”

“Yes,” his mother said. “We said he should experience his classes and see what inspires him.”

“A business degree is very versatile,” Harrison said. “I can do lots of things with that.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Harrison’s dad said.

“I think this is the last of it,” a booming voice said behind them. Harrison turned and saw an older, scruffier version of Justin come through the door with a bag in each hand and one hanging from a strap on his shoulder. The man was huffing and puffing and looked behind him. “Got that sweetie?”

Harrison looked past Justin’s dad and saw another man. He had red hair and a handsome, clean shaven face. “I’m fine, Chad,” the man answered. “It’s just a hamper but what did you put in this thing Justin? It weighs a ton.”

“Sorry Roy,” Justin said, his cheeks a bit pink. “I put my console and games in there.”

“Will you have time for video games?” the red haired man grunted, but there was still a big smile on his face.

“There’s always time for video games,” Justin said. “Do you play?” Justin was looking directly at Harrison. Without thinking he nodded. It was usually best to agree at times like this instead of trying to figure out the right response.

His mother and father looked at him in surprise. Harrison shrugged. Luckily, they didn’t say anything out loud.

“I’m Chad,” he said, reaching out to Harrison’s parents. “This is my fiancé, Roy.”

Harrison’s mouth dropped open. He looked wildly from his mother’s face to his father’s. He was desperate to give them some kind of signal, a warning. His parents were pretty friendly with their gay parishioners, but this was quite different. He hoped they wouldn’t say the wrong thing. Harrison looked at Justin who was grinning and watching his father shake hands.

“Nice to meet you,” Harrison heard his father say. “When’s the wedding?”

“Next month,” Roy answered. He too shook his father’s hand.

“That’s wonderful,” his mother said. She was smiling and her face looked open and friendly. “Jared is a minister and I’ve been around a lot of ceremonies so if you need any tips.”

“I wish we’d have met a few months ago,” Roy chuckled. “Most everything is arranged now. What a painful experience.”

“It can be,” Harrison’s father said. “But, when you find the right person, it’s worth it. We’ve been together almost thirty years now.”

“Congratulations,” Justin said. Harrison was thunderstruck watching them interact. It was overwhelming him.

“Son, do you want to get unpacked and we can take the suitcases back with us?” his father asked.

“Okay,” Harrison said. He started opening up a case when Justin appeared next to him.

“Want some help?” his roommate asked.

“NO!” he said loudly. Justin stood up and looked at him. “I mean I’m fine. It will only take me a minute or so.”

“Harrison likes his things just so,” his mother said. “You’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Justin’s a little bit of a neat freak,” Chad said. “He’s got the cleanest teenager’s room in Council Bluffs.”

“I’m not that bad,” Justin said. Harrison noticed he blushed at his father’s remark.

“Well, they must have known something at housing. Harrison is particular too.” His father was chuckling along with the other adults in the room.

“We’re planning on taking Justin out for lunch. Would you like to join us?” Chad asked. Harrison noticed Roy was looking at them with a friendly smile.

“That would be nice. The boys can get a little more acquainted and you can tell us all about your reception. I love weddings,” Harrison heard his mom answer.

“We have orientation in a couple hours,” Justin said. Harrison saw he was trying to get his attention. “Maybe we could go out next weekend.”

“If you’re sure,” Chad said. “Sounds like the men want us out of their hair.”

“That’s fine,” Harrison’s father said. “We could still have lunch together.”

“Sounds good,” Roy said. “How about we eat and let the guys get unpacked? We can swing back by and pick up the bags after we eat.”

“Um, okay,” Justin said, looking over at Harrison. “We’ll eat at orientation, I guess.”

“Sounds good,” Harrison’s mom said. “Great meeting you, Justin. Are you guys ready?”

“Sure am,” Chad answered. “I can drive.”

“Good. I hate driving up here in the city,” Harrison’s dad said.

“Okay…”

And the four of them were gone.

Harrison took some shirts out of a garment bag and hung them up, adjusting them as he did so. He noticed Justin had stopped moving so he looked over at him.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” Justin asked.

“Our parents going off to lunch together? I thought so too,” Harrison responded. “I didn’t know your dad is gay.”

“I didn’t know your dad’s a minister,” Justin said. “They seemed cool about everything.”

“My parents are really nice people. There are gay people in our congregation and it has never been an issue with them,” Harrison shrugged. He was intensely relieved at his parents’ grace under pressure. Seeing Justin’s dad’s fiancé was a shock. Harrison almost dropped something on his foot he was so surprised.

“We should bunk the beds,” Justin said, out of nowhere.

“What?” Harrison said, looking around the closet door. “What does that mean?”

“If we turned them into bunk beds, we’d have a lot more room,” Justin said. “My dad’s great with those kinds of things. Are you game?”

Harrison nodded, ducking his head. Sleeping on a bed above another person was a little disconcerting. But, if he was going to make Justin his friend, he needed to swallow some of his fears. This was a new adventure. His stomach gurgled. He closed his eyes and thought about something peaceful.

“If you’re not cool with bunk beds, it’s fine,” Justin said. “I just thought…”

“It’s a good idea,” Harrison interrupted. “We should do it.”

“Okay. I’ll ask my dad about it,” Justin said. “That’s my phone. It’s Candy.”

“Oh,” Harrison said, looking at his roommate wondering what that meant.

“I’ll step into the hall,” Justin grinned and walked out the door.

Harrison began counting his breaths. After a few moments, his stomach stopped gurgling and he felt a calm deepen inside him. He could make this work. Justin was a nice guy. They could become friends and everything would be alright. As long as he kept his secret, he’d be fine. No one could find out.

Keeping Amelia as a cover would be helpful. Being a minister’s kid, people expected him to be more careful about dating. If he pretended they were still together, Justin would never suspect a thing.

Harrison grabbed another suitcase and started emptying it. Best not to think of it.

The End, for now...

Thanks so much to Valkyrie71 and Huktaunluv for all their hard work. I also have to thank all the reviewers and commenters who have made this story even richer and more nuanced. It has made this project very special.
I saw this story started back in August so I had to finish it this year. I hope you'll join me this spring when we begin the new story, "A Comfortable Skin" with Justin, Harrison, Candy, and a whole new bevy of friends. There may be a pop up visit from other old friends as well.
Cole
Copyright © 2014 Cole Matthews; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments



I loved hearing from Roy and Chad again and am really happy that Harrison's parents don't care that they are gay. They seem like good people.

Harrison is such a sweet young man. Reading this chapter I have to wonder if Harrison is mildly autistic. His aversion to touching (feeling like his skin is crawling), but feeling comfort in a tight hug from his mother, needing things to be "just so", etc. It's going to make his college experience a little more difficult since it seems no one knows about it, but I am looking forward to reading more about his experiences as he learns more about himself. Justin is such a great kid that I can't think of anyone better to be Harrison's friend and roommate. I look forward to their story.

On a side note: I hope we're invited to Chad and Roy's wedding! (hint, hint) :P

On 01/01/2015 03:00 AM, LitLover said:
I loved hearing from Roy and Chad again and am really happy that Harrison's parents don't care that they are gay. They seem like good people.

Harrison is such a sweet young man. Reading this chapter I have to wonder if Harrison is mildly autistic. His aversion to touching (feeling like his skin is crawling), but feeling comfort in a tight hug from his mother, needing things to be "just so", etc. It's going to make his college experience a little more difficult since it seems no one knows about it, but I am looking forward to reading more about his experiences as he learns more about himself. Justin is such a great kid that I can't think of anyone better to be Harrison's friend and roommate. I look forward to their story.

On a side note: I hope we're invited to Chad and Roy's wedding! (hint, hint) :P

You are very perceptive! That is the little touch I was hoping came through. Harrison isn't good with emotions and that is probably part of the reason. College will be a challenge for him. Let's see if Justin can help him and maybe learn something as well. Thanks for the sweet review LitLover! :)
On 01/01/2015 03:11 AM, Carlos Hazday said:
Thanks Cole!

What a nice not to end the year on. I sincerely look forward to those two boys and their interactions! I'm so glad my wish of Justin being more than a sidebar was granted.

Like, Happy New Fucking Year, Dude!

:P

Haha! You are hilarious! I couldn't turn down such a request and Harrison was begging to be written. Dude, like happy fucking New Year to you too! :) thanks Carlos!

Very intriguing Cole. I found myself having real empathy for Harrison. He seems to be a little out of step with the world around him. Autism is a likely explanation for his trouble with his feelings and reading those of others. The inference that he is gay on top of that sets up quite an interesting scenario. I loved hearing Chad call Roy 'sweetie' and seeing how solid that they are. It has been a truly wonderful journey because of your superior writing and the creation of such real and interesting characters...and it appears that you are creating another memorable character with Harrison. I can't wait to continue this journey through him and Justin and what I am sure will be a great cast of characters. Since Carlos borrowed some wording from my last review, I'll return the favor...Happy fucking New Year dude!!!

On 01/01/2015 06:03 AM, Headstall said:
Very intriguing Cole. I found myself having real empathy for Harrison. He seems to be a little out of step with the world around him. Autism is a likely explanation for his trouble with his feelings and reading those of others. The inference that he is gay on top of that sets up quite an interesting scenario. I loved hearing Chad call Roy 'sweetie' and seeing how solid that they are. It has been a truly wonderful journey because of your superior writing and the creation of such real and interesting characters...and it appears that you are creating another memorable character with Harrison. I can't wait to continue this journey through him and Justin and what I am sure will be a great cast of characters. Since Carlos borrowed some wording from my last review, I'll return the favor...Happy fucking New Year dude!!!
What a flattering and sweet review! For me, the characters mater so much. I try to create personalities we can feel for, identify with, or even despise a little. I'm glad these guys did that for you. I'm even more pleased Harrison is a guy who intrigues you. I think he has an important tale to tell. Chad and Roy are quite a set now. I didn't even mean for that to happen! Haha!

Thank you so much Gary and fucking Happy, like, New Year's, dude! Lol!

On 01/01/2015 06:59 AM, Irritable1 said:
Oh what a great epilogue! I really like how you've given us an insight into Harrison, Cole, and I loved hearing Chad address Roy as "sweetie" as well. And what a relief when the minister and his wife turned out to be nice! I'm sure college will be really challenging, but for Harrison to experience and for you to write, but I'm looking forward to it!
Thank you so much Irri! Harrison will be a challenge but a good one I think. I haven't done a coming of age story yet and it's time. Chad and Roy are adorable. I wonder what they'll talking about at lunch with Jared and Isabelle? As you can see, I'm already plotting! I appreciate your support and faith in me! :)

Well Shoot!!! Everybody else said what I wanted to say! :pissed: But please know that I absolutely loved this story. Roy...Chad..."sweetie". too cute. I, too, think that Harrison is mildly autistic, maybe Asperger's? Justin is going to be the person to figure it out and won't that just make Harrison a very lucky boy? Thanks as usual for sharing your imagination. :worship: sooooooo how long before the next story?

On 01/01/2015 09:52 AM, LadyDe said:
Well Shoot!!! Everybody else said what I wanted to say! :pissed: But please know that I absolutely loved this story. Roy...Chad..."sweetie". too cute. I, too, think that Harrison is mildly autistic, maybe Asperger's? Justin is going to be the person to figure it out and won't that just make Harrison a very lucky boy? Thanks as usual for sharing your imagination. :worship: sooooooo how long before the next story?
It's always good to hear you loved the story! It really feels good to know you're waiting for more. It means I'm doing something right! Harrison does have issues, you're estimating it on the money. But, he's managed to evade notice so far it seems.

 

As far as A Comfortable Skin, it will probably start up early spring after Barbed Wire Heart is completed. I can't do two at once again. It was hard to keep up! Thanks so much for your support and faith in me LadyDe! It is really appreciated. :)

What an excellent way to bridge the gap between two stories! I can't wait for the new one to start, but I'm forced into it. :)

 

Harrison is going to have a very rough time of it, but I think Justin can be just the right person to help him, if he allows it. I've been reading a story where every single character has issues, but the 'hero' brings most of his problems on himself--there is another character who is interested in him, but he constantly suspects him of toying with him, and not letting him get close...32 chapters of angst and mental games have worn me down...I no longer have any sympathy for the story's characters, and am just hanging on to watch the train wreck at the end. It's nice to find an author who knows that it can't be constant drama and disillusionment--that there have to be bright spots of hope. :)

On 01/01/2015 12:40 PM, ColumbusGuy said:
What an excellent way to bridge the gap between two stories! I can't wait for the new one to start, but I'm forced into it. :)

 

Harrison is going to have a very rough time of it, but I think Justin can be just the right person to help him, if he allows it. I've been reading a story where every single character has issues, but the 'hero' brings most of his problems on himself--there is another character who is interested in him, but he constantly suspects him of toying with him, and not letting him get close...32 chapters of angst and mental games have worn me down...I no longer have any sympathy for the story's characters, and am just hanging on to watch the train wreck at the end. It's nice to find an author who knows that it can't be constant drama and disillusionment--that there have to be bright spots of hope. :)

Thanks ColumbuGuy! I do try to mix happiness with trials and a dash of humor. It allows the reader a chance to catch their breath and feel fondly of the characters. I do try doing that. We like reading about characters we are fond of.

I'm glad the introduction of Harrison read well and it worked. Thanks for the kind words. :)

On 01/04/2015 04:53 AM, aditus said:
I can see this is going to be a typical Cole story. I loved seeing Roy and Chad acting as parents, so to say, and that you not used any stereotyping to describe Harrison's parents. I'm very curious now.
Thanks Addy!!! Yes, this will be a typical Matthewsian story which flies in the face of convention. There won't be a lot of Roy and Chad but some in the new story. It won't be started for a little while, but I'm glad I've piqued your interest!! Yeah!! :)
On 05/26/2015 01:04 AM, Rndmrunner said:
Just read The Art of Being Gay and enjoyed it immensely. Of course the the next question is has work begun on Comfortable inches Skin. You have a knack for exploring fresh ground in archetypical topics.
I'm glad you enjoyed AOBG. I'm now beginning on the Comfortable Skin story. I've only started doing an outline, but it's in the works. Harrison is an interesting character. I hope you'll enjoy it and him. Thanks so much!!!

Great story, I could relate to the confused state of Chads mind in the beginning. Roy also hit home though I knew a few Roys when I learned the art of being gay..
I did know early I was 'different' pretty sure that ment gay. Also at that point in time the TV was in a media frenzy of Anita Bryant ( I mean whats more pure than orange juice lady?) saying gay was a choice and it could be changed. All I needed to hear I didnt want it in the first place.
No way I could get to one of those reassignment centers without family knowing, so I decided to reorient myself ( yeah Im a lil crazy that way) ...
Many years later I met a women that I actually was attracted to. Felt like I was succeeding in my become hetro quest...
After years of marriage ( no children thankfully) , I found out she was having affairs, about half of them with women..
I remember when I was really young hearing adults talk about 'Natures Cruel Joke' at some point I connected that to meaning queer ( dunno if gay was a word back then)
Well how messed up is it when a gay man in total denial of who he is marries a lesbian in equally deep denial..
I filed for divorce explaining , I was setting us both free... Two years in court I was finally single again.
42 and felt like I was starting life all over... Even friends had gotten lost along the way dealing with the ugly divorce etc.
the day my divorce was final ( oddly Oct 12) I decided if Im starting over this time Im going to explore the previously not considered option.. Online profile to find a guy(s) to get know..
OK I was totally out of my element... several guys ( Roys) took it upon themselves to ( I called them mother hens) educate me on being gay.. ( sometimes coming out to ourselves is the biggest hurdle, it was for me)
It didn't come out as much of a love story as your story here did , for me it was more like Toads wild ride.
I very much enjoy reading here and other sites and thank you for the work in creating it...
Looking forward to the next in this series

On 06/01/2016 09:28 AM, Cajbor said:

Great story, I could relate to the confused state of Chads mind in the beginning. Roy also hit home though I knew a few Roys when I learned the art of being gay..

I did know early I was 'different' pretty sure that ment gay. Also at that point in time the TV was in a media frenzy of Anita Bryant ( I mean whats more pure than orange juice lady?) saying gay was a choice and it could be changed. All I needed to hear I didnt want it in the first place.

No way I could get to one of those reassignment centers without family knowing, so I decided to reorient myself ( yeah Im a lil crazy that way) ...

Many years later I met a women that I actually was attracted to. Felt like I was succeeding in my become hetro quest...

After years of marriage ( no children thankfully) , I found out she was having affairs, about half of them with women..

I remember when I was really young hearing adults talk about 'Natures Cruel Joke' at some point I connected that to meaning queer ( dunno if gay was a word back then)

Well how messed up is it when a gay man in total denial of who he is marries a lesbian in equally deep denial..

I filed for divorce explaining , I was setting us both free... Two years in court I was finally single again.

42 and felt like I was starting life all over... Even friends had gotten lost along the way dealing with the ugly divorce etc.

the day my divorce was final ( oddly Oct 12) I decided if Im starting over this time Im going to explore the previously not considered option.. Online profile to find a guy(s) to get know..

OK I was totally out of my element... several guys ( Roys) took it upon themselves to ( I called them mother hens) educate me on being gay.. ( sometimes coming out to ourselves is the biggest hurdle, it was for me)

It didn't come out as much of a love story as your story here did , for me it was more like Toads wild ride.

I very much enjoy reading here and other sites and thank you for the work in creating it...

Looking forward to the next in this series

Your review filled me with happy tears.

 

When I was in my twenties, I was a bartender at a gay bar. I had a little patio area and it was separate from the rest of the place. I made rock tapes and played them. I convinced the owner not all gay men lived for disco and techno.

 

I developed a clientele of navy boys, blue collar men, and older, recently out men. I talked with these men and they generally felt two different ways about being out later in life. First, they felt alien and a little lost. Also, they were even more appreciative of being out and free from the closet. I wanted to express and portray that in The Art of Being Gay. It sounds like it did. Your story sounds like those men, who I wanted to honor. I'm glad you enjoyed and identified with the tale. It means I did what I intended to.

 

Thank you. Your review is the reason I keep writing. :)

Hey Cole, I'd almost forgotten about Harrison. When do we get his story? It wasn't a suprise to me he has Aspergers, but why did his parents stop telling him how they felt when they suspected this was his problem? And the person testing him must have been incompetent to be fooled like that. It's a shame he slid under the radar, because he could have had a lot more help and understanding if they knew. But it's lucky he has Justin as his new room mate, can't wait to read more.

On 09/21/2016 02:53 AM, Timothy M. said:

Hey Cole, I'd almost forgotten about Harrison. When do we get his story? It wasn't a suprise to me he has Aspergers, but why did his parents stop telling him how they felt when they suspected this was his problem? And the person testing him must have been incompetent to be fooled like that. It's a shame he slid under the radar, because he could have had a lot more help and understanding if they knew. But it's lucky he has Justin as his new room mate, can't wait to read more.

Thanks Tim! I've been working on it, but it takes going slow. Harrison's story is a messy one because life is complicated and full of rich variety. We make mistakes that sometimes work out and sometimes not. Regardless, it's growing and becoming better and more full which is an important theme of the story. I appreciate the comments and the enthusiasm! Yeah!

First I thought Harrison was mildly autistic, but yes, Asperger's is what I was trying to think of. Without intending to sound non-PC, Harrison's a mess. With some OCD thrown in there. I agree with Tim; the person who tested Harrison should have seen through his ploy to say the right thing.

 

So Harrison's little secret -- he should feel relieved that Justin's dad is gay, then, right? And Harrison's parents are really cool; I thought being a minister and a minister's wife, they'd be the typical homophobes -- you're all going to hell and all that Bible thumping shit they like to spew. I was pleasantly surprised. :)

 

From reading your response to Tim's recent review, you haven't started posting this story, right? I definitely don't remember seeing it on here...of course if it were written as a Book 2 or something, I wouldn't have looked at it since I didn't read Book 1. lol

 

Anyhoo, I do hope this story does come to fruition, because as usual, you got me hooked on Harrison, Cole! :)


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