Weeping Lily - 15. Chapter 15

Before the second interview Jeff had a long chat with the interviewer, an eager young man on the break of his career. Fortunately he was a huge Weeping Lily fan himself and had been shocked and devastated by what had happened. He didn’t need Jeff’s gently suggestions about being sensitive... he already was.

Cal behaved himself completely, responding to the young reporter’s earnest and respectful manner. By the end he almost found himself having fun and it made him feel guilty.

As the interview drew to an end the interviewer turned to Cal and everyone winced. “Cal... you’ve been very quiet today, which is something that I know most of your fans would find surprising, knowing the way you usually are.” Jeff moved closer and was about to wrap up the interview but the young man pressed on before he could do anything. “That, of course is completely understandable given the current situation. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now... how you all must be feeling.” Jeff began to relax, just a little.

“I have deliberately avoided asking any questions about Jayden because I am sure that it must be painful for you to speak about him at the moment. I would like to say to you that I am asking about him to put the minds of his fans at rest, but my interest is a whole lot more personal than that. I, myself, have been following your career from the very start and I think that Jayden as a writer, a singer and a personality is... beyond description.

“It was a hell of a shock when I found out what happened and if it hadn’t been for the pressure of work I would have been among those people camped outside. Can you talk at all about how he is at the moment and whether we can expect to see him back in the saddle any time soon?”

Everyone held their breath, their eyes fixed on Cal. But this was different to the last interview. This time Cal knew that he was in the company of someone who truly cared and was not thinking of their own popularity and he responded to that. He actually smiled.

“Jayden’s... not at his best right now. Physically the doctors are just about prepared to concede that he is not imminently dying. On the other hand he is going to be left with some pretty serious issues to overcome. Mentally he’s still struggling with what happened and some things from his past that it brought to the surface again. All in all he’s not doing too well at the moment but I am very confident that he will start improving very soon.

“Jayden is a very stubborn person. Sometimes that can be frustrating and difficult but at times like this it means that he won’t let go, he won’t give in and he won’t give up. We are all supporting him and we’ll be there for him no matter what. If I know Jayden he will be writing again very soon and it’ll be good stuff. He’s already started scribbling, just to get back into it and he is going to be better very soon.

“It’s going to be a while before he’s up to performing live. He... there’s been some neurological damage and he is going to have to work hard before he’s on his feet again but he’ll get there. He always... he...”

Cal realised that the words he was speaking had ceased to be about the interview and were all about him, seeking to convince him of the truth in what he was saying. The truth was that he had no idea if or when Jayden was going to get on his feet again, at least from a mental perspective.

The interviewer caught his hesitation and smoothed it over. “Thank you Cal. That was reassuring and I’m grateful for your candour.”

Cal smiled, slightly dazedly as if waking up from a dream. “Thank you.”

“Look, for what it’s worth, and not as part of the interview at all, your fans care. I know that fans are fickle things and groups rise and fall according to hype but there are people who have been touched by your music, whose lives have been changed by it and who will never forget what you have done for them. There are a lot of people out there who are thinking about you... about you all. You’re not alone.”

Cal stared at him for a moment and felt his barriers begin to crumble. Tears prickled his eyes and he had to turn away. After taking a few moments to pull himself together he smiled at the interviewer.

“Thanks for a great interview and your thoughts... I... I need to go now... sorry.”

Biting his lip he got to his feet and left. This time the look sthat went after him were wholly sympathetic.

When he got to Jayden he found Kelly with him.

“What the hell are you doing here? This is a hospital and they are trying to get rid of blood sucking parasites not encouraging them.”

“Don’t you think that you should at least try to put this hostility to one side? Jayden is going to need us both.”

“Jayden needs you like he needs a hole in his head. He’s got plenty of friends who will be here for him.”

“Friends are one thing but they are not the same as family. I know you don’t like me but I am still Jayden’s sister and no matter what you say I do love him... and I am so sorry that I have not been around for him. I want to remedy that now.”

“Well... I can believe that... barely... but the fact is that I don’t care. I don’t care what you want... I can see right through you. I can see the poisonous snake that you are. You want to cash in on what Jayden has built for himself... despite you not because of you. You have done nothing for him in all your life, and I am not prepared to let you in so that you can carry on doing nothing but hurt him.”

“It’s not up to you Cal. You may be Jayden’s boyfriend now but you are not his keeper. Whether he wants me around or not is up to him and not you.”

“Yeah well... we’ll see. Now will you please just piss off I really need to speak to Jayden.”

“Speak to him?”

“I didn’t say I expected him to answer did I?”

It was on the tip of Kelly’s tongue to tell him to stuff his attitude and piss off himself. Fortunately she had more sensitivity than that and when she paused she could see the strain on his face. She got to her feet.

“I’ll go and get a coffee. But I’m not leaving.”

“Whatever.”

He didn’t even hear her go. He had his head in his hands and he was weeping.

“This is too hard Jay. It’s just too hard. People keep asking the questions I can’t bear to ask myself. I can’t answer them. I need you Jay. I really need you.” He sobbed into silence. He couldn’t speak any more so he just sat and wept, holding Jayden’s hand.

He heard the door open but didn’t turn. He didn’t care who it was. He kept his eyes on Jayden. And then there were arms around him. Surprised he turned and looked up into a familiar face. Getting to his feet he fell into her arms and sobbed.

“Hush now darling. It’s going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Mam I don’t know how to handle this. I can’t... I just can’t...”

“That’s alright honey. I’m here now and I’m so sorry I haven’t been here for you before. It took so long to get word to us in Africa and then we had to organise flights back.”

“Is Dad here?”

“No sweetheart. He couldn’t leave the project. One of us had to stay. But I have brought someone else with me. She’s talking to the doctor right now.”

“Helen?”

His mother nodded, smiling at the light that infused his eyes. “I told you it’s going to be alright Cal. We’ll take care of you now; Jayden too.” Her eyes wandered over her son’s head to the sleeping figure in the bed and tears sprang to her eyes. A look of incredible tenderness took over her face and she hugged Cal more tightly.

“Mam... there’s something I need to tell you.” Cal pulled away from his mother and sat down, turning his face away. Suddenly his heart was pounding, his mouth dry.

Moving to his side his mother put her hand on his shoulder. “What is sweetheart? Is it about Jayden?”

“Of course it is. He’s all I think about.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know how to say it. I don’t want you to be... I don’t want you to hate me.” The last part was a whisper.

“Hate you? I could never hate you Cal. No matter what you did I would never hate you. What have you done?” Despite the absolute certainty in the first part of her declaration, there was some nervousness in the last sentence. She tried to keep it out but she knew her son, how impulsive he could be. That made her nervous.

Whenever Cal had that tone in his voice it meant trouble. His next words were usually something along the lines of... I’ve broken a window; I’ve been involved in a fight; I’ve made some stupid decision which I don’t know how to get out of. She was still waiting for the ‘I’ve got a girl pregnant’ one, although that would have surprised her the most.

“I...” he turned and looked up at her. Might as well get it over with and see her true feelings when he told her. He was never one for running from the truth. “I’ve fallen in love with him Mam.”

The look that passed over her face was one of profound relief, followed by wry amusement. “Oh, I know that. You had me worried for a moment. I thought you had done something stupid.”

Cal was stunned. “You knew that? How the hell could you have known that? I only just figured it out myself.” He thought for a moment. “Shit. Did everyone know?”

“Everyone who loves you. It was pretty obvious. We were all waiting for the two of you to figure it out on your own.”

“So does Dad know?”

“Of course.”

“Everyone?”

“Pretty much.”

“Hell.” He laughed. “I suppose it’s pretty ironic that Jay and I were the last to know.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“Yes. I guess we’re... ‘together’ now.”

“That’s good. I think it’s perfect timing. Just what he needs right now.”

“I suppose.”

“So how is he?”

“I don’t know Mam. I just don’t know. They keep telling me things and only half of them sink in. The doctors were so convinced he was going to die and in the beginning so was I. I tried hard to let him go but I couldn’t... and neither could he but... now I don’t know. I wonder if it might have been the best thing.”

“Cal! Why would you say that?”

“He’s... He was so hurt Mam. Not just physically.” He looked up.

“I know.” She smiled sadly. “But Helen’s here now.”

“I don’t know if even Helen will be enough this time. The doctor told him that he’d be here for weeks, maybe even months. There was brain damage. It didn’t impair his mind but it means that he is going to have problems with mobility. He’s going to need extensive physiotherapy if he’s ever going to walk again. When he heard that he completely freaked out.”

“That surprises me. Jayden has never been one to shy away from hard work.”

“It’s not that Mam. It’s the fact that he’s tied down. What happened to him has brought everything back. He’s never really come to terms with what happened, never completely got over it and now it’s back. And he can’t run.”

“Ah. I see.”

“I don’t think you do. I don’t think anyone does. This has been like a cancer eating away at him this whole time. The only way he has been able to cope at all is by running away when it got too much for him and... and...” He started to weep again. His mother put her arm around him. “He had to hurt himself Mam. He had to feel physical pain to be able to control the mental pain. He... did things...”

“Baby, I’m no expert in this kind of thing, that’s Helen’s job... but I do know that this isn’t all that uncommon. Helen can deal with it. Trust her.”

“I’ll try but... You should have seen him Mam. I’ve haven’t seen him that out of control since the day... They had to sedate him or he would have hurt himself.”

“Take one day at a time sweetheart. He’ll be alright. You both will. Keep positive. If for nothing else, then for him.”

“I’m trying. I’m really trying but it’s so hard.”

“Anything worthwhile is hard Cal.”

“I know. But some things are too hard.”

“Nothing is too hard. We are never given more that we can handle... although sometimes it seems that way. There is always choice. We can sink under it, give up and let it swamp us... or we can stand up and fight. You’ve always been a fighter Cal. You both have.”

“I know, and when... when Jay was fighting it was easy... easier. Now he’s given up...”

“Then it’s even more important that you carry on the fight. If he can’t do it for himself right now then you have to do it for him.”

Cal blinked and smiled. His mother always knew the right things to say. “I’ll try.”

“That’s the most that any of us can do.”

They were disturbed by the door opening and Cal smiled up into a warm and open face under a shock of bright red hair, barely held under control by a clip at the back of her head. Wild curls bounced around her face and ears and she was forever tucking them back.

“Thanks for coming.”

“As if I wouldn’t. How’s he doing?”

“Not good Helen. That woman made him talk about what happened to him. He was drugged and he basically lived through it all over again.” Helen frowned. “That’s not all. He... he told me...” Glancing at his mother he wondered if he ought to say anything in front of her. Realising the doctor had entered the room behind her he decided that he really shouldn’t. “I think I had better talk to you alone later.”

Helen nodded. “I think that might be a good idea.” She turned to the doctor. “If you’re happy he’s stable enough I really would like to speak to him as soon as possible. I know Jayden and if we let this permeate for too long, awake or asleep then we are going to have real problems. Don’t worry I am very conscious of his physical condition and I will try my very best not to do anything that might put him at risk. Jayden and I have worked together extensively before and I know how to handle him.”

“I’m glad that someone does.” Cal mumbled. Everyone smiled.

“Well... I have to trust you on that one. And I must admit that I have not been comfortable with giving Jayden any more medication than he absolutely needs,so if you are confident you can manage the situation I am happy to let you try.”

“I’m as confident as I can be. The last time I worked with Jayden he had been left to cope with things by himself for a very long time and had not only had be broken down completely but the breakdown had been compounded by irresponsible treatment. This time everything is fresh. I could never get Jayden to open up completely and face what had happened but it seems that it’s now been done for me so I am hopeful that we can make more progress than ever before.

“I won’t lie to you though. It is going to be stressful for Jayden. I’ll be as gentle as I can be but he is going to have to face some difficult issues and there is no easy way to do that. The problem is that the choice we are facing is not an easy one. Either I work with Jayden and help him try to come to terms with his problems in a controlled way or he will go spinning off completely uncontrolled as he did before. Either way his stress levels are going to be through the roof so you are going to have to either keep him sedated until he’s completely stable or take a risk.”

The doctor looked at her thoughtfully, pinching his lip. “It’s a matter of balance for me. And it’s a fine one. I can’t afford to keep him sedated like this for much longer. The only way I can effectively keep him under long term is to put him in a medical coma. I can’t see that as an option because of the damage already done to his system by the drugs he was given. I’m not convinced that his heart is up to high levels of stress but I don’t really see that we have much of a choice. Can you recommend any medication that would be gentle on the system but keep him calm enough to deal with this?”

“There are plenty of medications that will keep him calm. The problem is that none of them are kind to the system. They all act on the brain in one way or another, or depress respiratory or cardiac function. The simple answer is that there is nothing that’s going to make it better without making it worse.”

“Then we really don’t have a choice. I’m not comfortable with this. I particularly uncomfortable with the fact that we are dealing with matters here that would be better dealt with in a facility more conducive of this kind of care.”

“If you are talking about a psychiatric hospital doctor,” Helen said coldly, “I would stop right now. That almost killed him before and I am not about to see it do so again. Jayden is not a person that can be pinned down, especially not now. He will be referred to a mental institution over my dead body.”

“I said I was uncomfortable, not that I was unwilling. I appreciate what you are saying and you can rest assured that even if I wasn’t convinced that you would be able to help him here there is no question physically of him being moved anywhere at this stage.”

“Thank you doctor. I appreciate your candour.” Helen smiled her beguiling smile and at that point the doctor would have refused her nothing.

Cal’s mother had often commented that her wild Gaelic friend was half faery and Cal could well believe it.

“How long will it take for Jayden to wake up?”

“About half an hour.”

Helen beamed. “Perfect. Just enough time for this exceedingly handsome young man to take a poor old lady for a coffee.”

Cal looked doubtful. “I... I don’t know. I...”

“Aww come on now there me lad. Are you trying to imply that it’s too uncool to be seen in the presence of an old crow like me?”

Despite himself Cal had to smile. “You know I’m always proud to be seen with you. It’s not that. It’s just... I don’t want to leave him. I want to be here when he wakes up.”

Helen looked at Cal’s mother and raised her eyebrows. She received a nod and a smile in response and grinned. Cal groaned inwardly watching the almost telepathic exchange that was not unusual between those two. This time he didn’t have to be telepathic himself to know what they were talking about. It seemed that his mother had been right... everyone had known all along.

“About bloody time.” Helen commented, puzzling the doctor who was not privy to the in joke. “Don’t you worry sweet thing. Eileen will stay with your sweet boy while I steal this sweet boy,” She patted Cal on the backside. “for a little while. Escort me please.”

She held out her arm, the elbow crooked and, getting to his feet with a smile on his face, he took it. Helen had a way with her, a sparkling charm that couldn’t be denied. For the first time in days Cal felt hopeful.