Puppilull's poetry prompts - 13. Poetry prompt 9 - Sonnet

Wow. Beauty, and clarity. A sad but real remembrance... You painted a brutally honest picture... kudos, Puppilull. The rhyming scheme worked nicely... cheers... Gary...

Imagine me sitting on the bus, holding my phone and murmuring your poem with a clogged up nose. I got very interesting reactions. One was 'that's sad', the other 'lesson learned'. Funny was, I thought the same. A not so little poem, Puppi. I like it very much.

On 10/23/2015 05:00 AM, aditus said:

Imagine me sitting on the bus, holding my phone and murmuring your poem with a clogged up nose. I got very interesting reactions. One was 'that's sad', the other 'lesson learned'. Funny was, I thought the same. A not so little poem, Puppi. I like it very much.

Oh, that was the cutest review ever! I actually can picture you sitting there, maybe wrapped in a warm scarf? It's funny, I hadn't thought of this memory as sad, but I guess he hurt me more than I realized... I wrote it so fast, I was afraid I was skimming through my feelings. But perhaps not

Thank you for reviewing and reading out loud!

On 10/22/2015 02:35 PM, Headstall said:

Wow. Beauty, and clarity. A sad but real remembrance... You painted a brutally honest picture... kudos, Puppilull. The rhyming scheme worked nicely... cheers... Gary...

Thank you! I felt it came so easy to me. Almost too easy, but apparently I managed to convey my feelings.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

First off, I love how you toss off one of your sonnets as 'a simple little poem.' It's anything but, but it does my pedagogical heart good to see you pull out a sonnet because it was the right form for your poem. I love that!

This poem pulled me right in. It opens with the type of sensuality I associate with the verse of men-loving-men, but then ends with a bit of regret. That part is effective for me, and makes me a bit sad.

I think this is fine poem, and the sonnet form works perfectly for what you want to do. Good job!

On 10/23/2015 07:05 AM, AC Benus said:

First off, I love how you toss off one of your sonnets as 'a simple little poem.' It's anything but, but it does my pedagogical heart good to see you pull out a sonnet because it was the right form for your poem. I love that!

 

This poem pulled me right in. It opens with the type of sensuality I associate with the verse of men-loving-men, but then ends with a bit of regret. That part is effective for me, and makes me a bit sad.

 

I think this is fine poem, and the sonnet form works perfectly for what you want to do. Good job!

Maybe I was a bit hard on this particular poem... It did feel so easy to write that I figured it was simple, but now in hindsight I think perhaps it opened a door to feelings, true feelings, I had hidden away. Perhaps you reading it saw something I couldn't.

I'm actually very pleased but a bit confused that you get a man-on-man feeling. I have been writing some of that in my ongoing prompt story and I constantly fear I will end up writing women in men's bodies. So to achieve that feel is a confidence boost. At the same time, the poem is about me and I'm no man... So that makes me wonder if I'm too influenced by hanging out here? Or is it my masculine side peaking out?

Thank you so much for reading and giving me valuable feedback in your review. These challenges make me work and think in a different way. Very good change of perspective on my writing.