Puppilull's poetry prompts - 5. Poetry prompt 3 - Lyrics

These were brilliant, Puppilull! I loved the stark differences between 'emotional' and 'reality'... the wording is evocative, the phrasing flows from thought to thought. Well done... cheers... Gary... ps: I think these are my favorites to this point...

On 08/21/2015 01:32 AM, Headstall said:

These were brilliant, Puppilull! I loved the stark differences between 'emotional' and 'reality'... the wording is evocative, the phrasing flows from thought to thought. Well done... cheers... Gary... ps: I think these are my favorites to this point...

I'm glad these are your favourites. They are the ones that are most me, so it's much more personal. The others are more observations from a safe disrance. This is my reality. Both of them.

Thanks for your review!

I loved these. They really capture the emotion as well as the reality of a relationship...especially the busy mornings with kids (even if that was several years ago for me lol)

On 08/21/2015 11:05 PM, LitLover said:

I loved these. They really capture the emotion as well as the reality of a relationship...especially the busy mornings with kids (even if that was several years ago for me lol)

Thank you! They felt very true to me, which is scary. So I'm glad you liked them.

There is a great deal of sensuality in the first one, and a biting sense of humor in the second. In other words, they match my the way I like to write perfectly! lol

In terms of the prompt challenge, you did perfectly with the back and forth rhythm of 8 and 6 syllable lines. One area to look at again, and try and build on what you've done, is to make the lines of the stanza flow like a sentence. Right now (at least to me...) these lines are reading like four complete thoughts that stop, and then go down a line to begin a new idea or image. Try linking them in the rhythm of a natural sentence. Maybe go for two lines flowing like that at first, and soon you'll be able to do it over the four lines of the stanzas.

I hope you found this Poetry Prompt challenge useful. It's going to be an important lesson to have in your back pocket as you move onto the next one.

Thanks once again.

On 08/26/2015 10:48 AM, AC Benus said:

There is a great deal of sensuality in the first one, and a biting sense of humor in the second. In other words, they match my the way I like to write perfectly! lol

 

In terms of the prompt challenge, you did perfectly with the back and forth rhythm of 8 and 6 syllable lines. One area to look at again, and try and build on what you've done, is to make the lines of the stanza flow like a sentence. Right now (at least to me...) these lines are reading like four complete thoughts that stop, and then go down a line to begin a new idea or image. Try linking them in the rhythm of a natural sentence. Maybe go for two lines flowing like that at first, and soon you'll be able to do it over the four lines of the stanzas.

 

I hope you found this Poetry Prompt challenge useful. It's going to be an important lesson to have in your back pocket as you move onto the next one.

 

Thanks once again.

Thank you! What a review race! I see what you mean with the start and stop. I think that's kind of how I usually do poetry. Sort of staccato. It would be interesting to try and challenge myself and do something different. Also, I was counting syllables like crazy...