Puppilull's poetry prompts - 7. Poetry prompt 5 - Rhymes and couplets

Wow... that was beautiful, intense, and intimate... your absolute best yet cheers... Gary.

Isaac? CE?
Wow.

On 08/26/2015 05:01 AM, Headstall said:

Wow... that was beautiful, intense, and intimate... your absolute best yet cheers... Gary.

Pushing a few boundaries. I'm glad you liked it. Poetry is supposed to be close to the heart, close to the writer. I decided to chance it.

On 08/26/2015 05:04 AM, JohnAR said:

Isaac? CE?

Wow.

Whoever takes your fancy... I would go with Isaac, but you knew that already... Thanks for reviewing and the wow.

I liked them all, but...this may be my favorite so far!

On 08/26/2015 06:27 AM, Defiance19 said:

I liked them all, but...this may be my favorite so far!

Thanks! Since I sort of was a bit daring, I'm glad you liked it. It's very close to me...

Oh my God… It's simply amazing!!!! I followed along to the music, and wow, your lyrics are worthy of the stage! You prove something to me here with this one – that some poetry when read gives one impression, but when animated by music, and given a soul, and can speak of something else entirely.

LOL, what I mean is this, I first read it and felt a little embarrassed at how personal (and hetero ; ) ) it is, but then I followed along to the music and saw how flawlessly you matched all the beats, and the words became so tender and dreamlike that all thoughts of the physical lifted up and drifted away.

BRAVO! You really shone in this Poetry Prompt challenge. Thank you for taking it and making my day!

On 08/26/2015 11:15 AM, AC Benus said:

Oh my God… It's simply amazing!!!! I followed along to the music, and wow, your lyrics are worthy of the stage! You prove something to me here with this one – that some poetry when read gives one impression, but when animated by music, and given a soul, and can speak of something else entirely.

 

LOL, what I mean is this, I first read it and felt a little embarrassed at how personal (and hetero ; ) ) it is, but then I followed along to the music and saw how flawlessly you matched all the beats, and the words became so tender and dreamlike that all thoughts of the physical lifted up and drifted away.

 

BRAVO! You really shone in this Poetry Prompt challenge. Thank you for taking it and making my day!

Those were very kind words! I'm a singer and matching the music and lyrics was hard, but I actually sang it for myself quite a few times. I missed the music part at first, so I had to rewrite it quite a bit. That however helped. I worked at it more and toned down the personal/private aspects a bit. I hope a little of the physical aspect remained though!

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I felt I couldn't stay in the safe zone of birds and pasta. To me, it seemed quite neutral, but discussing it with a male friend I see your point. Then again, it's supposed to be me, so maybe it's a good thing it doesn't sound too male? That would have meant I had chickened out again.