Puppilull's poetry prompts - 9. Poetry prompt 13 - Ghazal

Every time, each one is better. The movie was gripping, and that scene was just so moving. You interpreted the scene wonderfully.

I knew you would do it, Puppilull!. It's wonderful. Resistance. Such a powerful word in this context. You made the scene live again in my mind... "my broken lips".... so evocative... You should feel pride... cheers... Gary...

You said it yourself: It's much closer in your native language. You took the weekend and the result is impressive. You have mastered the challenge.

On 09/07/2015 09:20 AM, Defiance19 said:

Every time, each one is better. The movie was gripping, and that scene was just so moving. You interpreted the scene wonderfully.

Thank you! I don't know if it's better, but I think it's getting easier to get to the heart of what I want to say. The challenges really help to question my writing and hopefully make it progress.

That scene is so powerful I was almost intimidated trying to do it justice.

On 09/07/2015 10:45 AM, Headstall said:

I knew you would do it, Puppilull!. It's wonderful. Resistance. Such a powerful word in this context. You made the scene live again in my mind... "my broken lips".... so evocative... You should feel pride... cheers... Gary...

Thanks for reviewing! That one word finally made my brain catch on to what I wanted to say. I'm glad the poem seems to work in English, even if the form of Ghazal had to be sacrificed....

On 09/07/2015 04:23 PM, aditus said:

You said it yourself: It's much closer in your native language. You took the weekend and the result is impressive. You have mastered the challenge.

Thank you for such kind words. I wouldn't say I mastered it, but it was very interesting to write in this form. The language added to the experience. I also noted once more that translation is an art form all on it's own. Swedish and English are so very different, I almost didn't do a translation at all. Now I'm very happy I did.

I'm very glad you decided to go for a more strict Ghazal form. The repetition of the chosen word becomes a powerful refrain, both in meaning and in sound.

The back and forth in the poem about consciousness and bodies both being at times free and captive is fascinating.

I'm glad you did the poem in Swedish, even though it was a challenge, because, hey – these poetry prompts are supposed to push a person with a view to expand experience.

Thank you for taking the challenge. You did a great job!

On 09/08/2015 05:37 AM, AC Benus said:

I'm very glad you decided to go for a more strict Ghazal form. The repetition of the chosen word becomes a powerful refrain, both in meaning and in sound.

 

The back and forth in the poem about consciousness and bodies both being at times free and captive is fascinating.

 

I'm glad you did the poem in Swedish, even though it was a challenge, because, hey – these poetry prompts are supposed to push a person with a view to expand experience.

 

Thank you for taking the challenge. You did a great job!

Well, I'm a lawyer and like to follow rules! So of course I had to do the stricter version. Seriously though, I find that by trying to write within the confines of a form, I get help to break out of my usual staccato form of poetry. So the prompts have expanded my thoughts on what poetry can be.

I'm glad that back and forth came through. It was important to me to capture that.

Thanks for your review! And for the prompt!