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RIP - Comicality
    Puppilull
  • Puppilull
  • Author
  • 10/15/2015
  • 196 Words
  • 624 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Puppilull's poetry prompts - 12. Poetry prompt 14 - Ballade

Sin no more

 

From stars and sun who warms us all

From the sea of life in a haze

To human existence we fall

To this new world, this strange maze

With trust in love that ever stays

As a child with a heart so light

But challenged in so many ways

To be human with all our might

 

Builders of Man construct us all

And stone upon stone hearts encase

Their creation making us so small

Fragile trust in people it frays

Truth is turned false, lies in its place

The outcast’s heart so filled with fright

Of us, fellow neighbors, he prays

To be human with all our might

 

This evil’s said to make us crawl

Our chosen life in lack of grace

But is it choice to just stand tall

And heed the heart throughout the blaze

Truth is freeing when hatred weighs

This lesson’s learned from our plight

Stand united before their gaze

To be human with all our might

 

Since diverse love this life portrays

We should guard all love, be its knight

And for this truth our voices raise

To be human with all our might

This was hard! I had to work it over so many times, but now I think it reflects what I intend to say. Maybe...
Copyright © 2016 Puppilull; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 6
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Headstall

This was fascinating, Puppilull. I've read it and left it alone, and come back to it twice. I don't know your intentions, but for me it was about people accepting all of us... asking those who judge and frighten us, to be as human as they can be... your last four lines are beautiful, and they sum this ballade up for me. From the beginning, which was hazy, clarity built, and as I said, a light went on for me... beautiful imagery was created here... thanks and cheers... Gary...

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AC Benus

Well, on the Ballade structure, I'd say you did it, and did it well. The thing about this form is that it's open and flexible, despite being a bear with all the limitations and rules.

 

This poem shows how the Ballade is good at being grave, and tacking a serious subject. Others have given us Ballades that are more lighthearted, and Peter gave us a charmingly funny one!

 

So, I am really thrilled to see all the response to this poetry prompt challenge. I'm also glad you offered this fine poem. It's emotional, and the refrain is a beautiful and natural sounding one.

 

I love the idea expressed in the poem too. We all need more tolerance, and love too.

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Aditus

To get into your ballade, I had to read it loud a few times, and when I had it right, I loved it.

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Puppilull
On 10/16/2015 04:32 AM, Parker Owens said:

Tack så mycket för detta. Your work was worth it! It's lovely.

It really was quite a bit of work this time.

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Puppilull
On 10/16/2015 12:17 PM, Headstall said:

This was fascinating, Puppilull. I've read it and left it alone, and come back to it twice. I don't know your intentions, but for me it was about people accepting all of us... asking those who judge and frighten us, to be as human as they can be... your last four lines are beautiful, and they sum this ballade up for me. From the beginning, which was hazy, clarity built, and as I said, a light went on for me... beautiful imagery was created here... thanks and cheers... Gary...

It is hazy, but I'm glad you still took the time to go back to it for renewed readings. Your interpretation is very close to my intention and that's a relief. I was afraid I was too vague.

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Puppilull
On 10/17/2015 12:38 AM, Dolores Esteban said:

It's beautiful.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Puppilull
On 10/17/2015 10:28 AM, AC Benus said:

Well, on the Ballade structure, I'd say you did it, and did it well. The thing about this form is that it's open and flexible, despite being a bear with all the limitations and rules.

 

This poem shows how the Ballade is good at being grave, and tacking a serious subject. Others have given us Ballades that are more lighthearted, and Peter gave us a charmingly funny one!

 

So, I am really thrilled to see all the response to this poetry prompt challenge. I'm also glad you offered this fine poem. It's emotional, and the refrain is a beautiful and natural sounding one.

 

I love the idea expressed in the poem too. We all need more tolerance, and love too.

The freedom of form is a bit deceptive. Sure, a lot of the structure is for the writer to decide, but when you have so many rhymes it's almost impossible to get out of a chosen path and find a better way to express a thought. If you try, you have to redo the entire thing. With 14 rhymes, that's tough! You get pot committed, so to say. So it didn't turn out quite as I expected. I wanted to convey an idea and I'm not sure people will get it.

 

That said, I enjoyed the challenge a lot. Now, the sonnet prompt seems like a breeze... LOL

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Puppilull
On 10/18/2015 04:23 AM, aditus said:

To get into your ballade, I had to read it loud a few times, and when I had it right, I loved it.

I laughed when I read your review! I've been reading this poem out loud so many times to try and get it right. It turned out a bit difficult, so I'm glad you didn't give up on it. My poor ballade could use some TLC, since I was too impatient with it.

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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