Confounded: Part I - 12. Chapter 12

I didn't go for it right away, even though the invitation was clear. That didn't seem to be the best idea, right now, especially not after this day; Kit could be tiring, certainly if he was as riled up as he had been today. Normally, he was a lot more quiet, more mellow. Talkative, yes, but he'd always been that way.

And I wanted to talk. About today, about Taylan and Kit, and also about myself. How I thought today had gone. As far as I could tell, Taylan liked him. I was glad about that, because introducing these two was a bit scary; I'd spoken the truth when I had told him I never introduced Kit to someone else.

I'd be lying if I said that this day hadn't scared the shit out of me; it had. Because, if they hadn't liked each other? If Taylan had reacted badly, or if he clearly hadn't liked Kit, and vice versa? I'd have stopped this immediately. As hard as that would be, I would; Kit was the most important to me and I'd never choose between him and a prospective lover.

But...just now, I'd received the green light, as far as Kit was concerned. When I went to check on him, he told me that.

"Are you in love, dad?" he'd asked. "You are, aren't you? I can see it. Your eyes light up when you look at him and you're happy."
Wasn't I always?
"Sometimes, when you think I don't see it, I see that you're lonely."
That had shocked me. I never thought that he had seen it.

Kit’s very bright and definitely not a fool; I guess I was the fool for thinking I could make him believe I was happy. And, for a kid, he's pretty wise. Sometimes a bit too wise, if you asked me, and, at that moment, that was all too clear. I tried not to, but I felt the emotion he evoked with those words boil up to the surface, making me shoot up.
Damnit.

And then I admitted that yes, I was in love.

"I think it's great, dad. He's funny! And cool! Did you hear about that game he talked about? I didn't think guys his age would still play games!"
He'd grinned then and become more serious.

"I think he's in love with you too. He looks at you a lot, especially when you don't see it."
That so, huh? Handy, having a kid around.

I'd given him a kiss and wished him goodnight; then he'd pulled me closer by wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Dad, can't I stay longer?"
I'd sighed. There was nothing in the world I'd like more than to have him stay but it wouldn't work.

"Kit..."

"I know. But I wanna be with you. I love mom but I wanna be with you."
I had hugged him to my chest and squeezed.

"Maybe, okay? When I have more time to spend at home, and more regular hours. Then we'll definitely look at the possibilities, okay?"

No. Not okay. I'd made this promise for several years now. But, as always, he'd taken the promise and knew, deep in his heart, that I definitely wanted it but just couldn't.

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too, kid. Now go to sleep, will you? We've got an early rise tomorrow. And yes, if you're up early, you can jump in with me, you big goof."

"Don't you think Taylan would mind?"
I had grinned. The image that had appeared in my head was one of comedic proportions. He probably would. If he stayed. But he wouldn't.

"Taylan's not spending the night, Kit; he's going back to his own house."

"Why?"

"You're stalling," I had admonished and he had grinned guiltily. "I've got your number by now, Mr. Now go to sleep."

I'd left the door opened a little, and then had gone to my own room, to freshen up a bit. And then I'd returned to the living room, where Taylan was patiently waiting.

We talked for quite some time, about all sorts of things, and I found that Kit has been right; he did check me out when he thought I wasn't looking. He also felt more at ease, it seemed; he touched me more often. My arm, resting on the back of the couch or my leg, which I had drawn up.

The tension rose when a silence fell, and he tried to break it by setting his empty glass, coughing uncomfortably, on the table. I did the same, but stopped him when he wanted to sit back in his original position.

"C'mere, you," I whispered, and then pressed my lips on his for an intimate kiss.

I withdrew for a moment, waiting to see if he was still uncomfortable, but when he remained where he was, seemingly at ease, I slid a hand into his neck and tilted his head a bit, and closed my lips more firmly over his mouth.

He was obviously nervous but I noticed that it gradually disappeared; he opened for me without reserve, kissing me back more actively as time passed by. He sucked me deeper into his mouth, licking my tongue, chasing it, sometimes entering my mouth...he tasted like more. A lot more! But I didn't try anything, yet. I didn't try to push him backwards, even though I definitely wanted to, or pull him against me; I let him set the pace for now. Which didn't necessarily mean I wasn't getting excited. His scent, his taste, and this constant licking, as we settled into a well-known rhythm; I had to force myself to hold back. So when he put his hand on my inner leg, the one that I had drawn up onto the couch, and started to rub, I broke the kiss abruptly.

"Stop that or face the consequences."
He grinned, and emphatically lifted his hand. I grinned back, unashamed.

"Pity."
I'd kept my hand in his neck and caressed the rim of his ear.

"But I think it's about time I took you home?"
He looked at his watch and found, to both his and my amazement, that it was well after midnight. I snickered.

"Damn. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Tsk," he replied, quasi-huffing, "some people just aren't that bright and don't know when to shut..."
I growled softly and reached for him but he got up just in time, moving out of my reach.

I rose as well and followed him into the hallway, where I pinned him with his back to the wall, repeating what we'd been doing for the past hour.

When I lifted my head after that, it was more out of self preservation than from shortage of breath; another few minutes like this and I'd take him, right here, right now. And it was also another fifteen minutes later and definitely time to take him home, or there'd be no use in doing that.

"I don't mind walking, you know," he offered, eliciting another growl from me.
I grabbed the keys and playfully hit his ass, steering him to the car.

"Oh, come on; why not? The weathers' great and I know the route by now."
I didn't need that reminder.

"You're not escaping me that easily, this time." I grinned, and that was the end of it.