Chapter 14

"Kye..." Tareth's voice begged my attention, but acknowledging him meant letting him know what I was, what I'd become. And that was one thing I couldn't face.

"Kye, please..."

"Reth, go get Dr. Fulbert," Lord Ashton interceded on my behalf. "He collapsed a few minutes ago."

"What's wrong with him? Why is he here? What happened?" Tareth fired questions at his viscount, and I was shocked Lord Ashton allowed the insolent tone that was bordering on accusation. Tareth didn't seem concerned by how his liege would react to his demanding questions nor the fact that he was ignoring an order by the viscount. I cringed at the hint of panic and worry in his voice. "Kye, it's me, Tareth. Can you hear me? Are you alright?"

The alarm in his tone battered my heart; it sounded as if he was near breaking. The pitch of his rapid-fire questions rising as his hysteria grew. I couldn't bear to hear the panic in his voice over me. As much as I didn't want him to know the whore I'd become, I couldn't let him worry about me either.

I rolled my head, slowly opening my eyes to see him for the first time in seven years. Unbidden, tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. He looked so... so good, so grown-up. His tawny brown hair was cut short, framing his face shorn with a light stubble. His shoulders were still broad, but his legs seemed longer, and he was taller than I remembered.

"Ta-Tareth," I whispered.

A choked sob came from his throat as he dropped to the floor next to me. His eyes were bright with tears as he grabbed my face in his hands—such warm hands, holding me tenderly, like he used to. "Oh, Gods, Kye. I thought I'd lost you forever. I had no idea where to find you. I tried for so long..."

"I—" I started to respond before my brain caught up with what he was saying. He didn't know where I was? He had tried to find me? When? Why didn't he ask mama and papa? My mind thrummed with so many questions. I didn't understand what he was talking about. I didn't even know where to start: maybe just trying to convince him I wasn't worthless first, that I was worth finding again.

"I'm alright," I finally said. "I—I tried."

"Tried?" He frowned, his darker blue eyes flitting over every inch of my face. "Tried what?"

"To—to be strong. To be... good. Like you told me to. But I... I couldn't..." I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. "I'm... sorry..."

Tareth's grip tightened on my face. He cut a scathing glance over at Lord Ashton. "I don't know what's going on here..." He turned a softer gaze back to me. "But I love you. You've always been strong and good... and so—" His voice broke on a choked sob.

I shook my head in his hands. "No, you don't know what I've done..."

"I don't care," Tareth nearly shouted. "You're my brother. I love you no matter what."

"Kye," Lord Ashton's voice broke in, "I suspect much of what has happened is not your fault."

"What?" Tareth snapped at the viscount. "What do you mean? By the Gods, what the devil is going on? Sir," he added belatedly.

"Reth." I cringed at the sharp warning tone the viscount directed at my brother. Lord Ashton took in my wide pleading eyes as I prayed he'd be lenient on my brother for his insolence. A small smile appeared on the beautiful man's lips, offering me a hint of comfort. Tareth obviously noticed that his lord was not at fault for my predicament and dropped his head respectfully with a mumbled apology.

"Kye has had a bit of a rough time, it appears," Lord Ashton told Tareth diplomatically. A bit?

I tried to curl up, attempting to hide in the couch before Lord Ashton told my brother of my debasement. Another hand stroked over the top of my head...Ashton...

I knew I should move, to get up, pull myself back together. But my limbs still felt boneless, sluggish and shaky.

"Reth, I promise he'll be okay. And we'll talk more later," Lord Ashton stated, his voice had the edge of authority in it again. Relief washed over me that I didn't have to face Tareth's revulsion when he found out what I'd become. "Right now, I need you to fetch the doctor, and then see to making ready the wagon you will be taking to our tenants tomorrow."

"But—" My brother seemed on the verge of protesting before he realized who he was talking to. I only hoped Lord Ashton didn't punish Tareth for being disrespectful.

"Reth," the deep voice had an edge of warning this time. "The doctor. The wagon."

I offered my brother a small smile and nod, like I used to do when father was irritated with me, to let him know I was alright.

"Y-yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir," Tareth said, and through the slits in my eyes, I could see him straightening respectfully. He would do his duty to his lord, just like I had done mine. I saw him turn, heading to find the doctor—which I didn't really need—then I was sure he would head off to finish preparing the wagons for—

Wagons. I jerked up so suddenly my head spun. "No!"

Both men snapped wide eyes back at me in shock, Tareth in mid-step for the door, Lord Ashton from where he was crouched next to me. I knew my eyes must be wild with fear, but I couldn't let my brother head out alone on a wagon with a man who might be working for my old master. Would 'Lee' kill Tareth to steal the wagonload?

"No... Lee..." I turned my pale eyes to the viscount, and I did something I almost never did—I begged. "Please... don't send my brother with him... please."

I could feel Tareth still frowning at me, but thankfully Lord Ashton's face lit with understanding: the wagons were at risk, especially if either Donnelly or Charlie was the mysterious 'Lee'; maybe even both if Liam was the culprit and had imparted the route of the wagons somehow to Richard or Barrett or whoever was their contact outside of the estate. Either way, I didn't want my brother's life at risk because my old master wanted the Sterling brothers' cargo.

"Oh, fucking hell," Lord Ashton muttered under his breath as he ran his hand over his jaw. He rose abruptly, his body rigid, and I could see him thinking frantically on how to solve the problem. "The tenants need those supplies," he stated, staring down at me for some reason. I wasn't sure what he thought I could do about it. I didn't know how to manage an estate, or tenants, or shipments...

"If I don't ferret out who Lee is tonight, the tenants will have to wait longer..." I felt sorry for Lord Ashton; he looked so pained with worry for his people, the same way he'd looked at me a short while ago...

My brother was still staring at his lord in confusion, his eyes flitting back and forth between the two of us. "Lee? Who's Lee?"

Footsteps at the door stopped Lord Ashton's musings, and cut off any other questions Tareth might have uttered.

"... it's too much for the whore." Liam's voice.

"It's food. The boy needs to eat, especially if you plan to whip the truth out of him..." Donnelly defended his decision on what to bring for me to eat.

I saw Tareth flinch, his eyes widening in horror and rage as it dawned on him who Liam and Donnelly might be talking about. I felt my cheeks flame, grateful for the arrival of Liam, Donnelly, and Charlie to stop my brother from demanding answers. Tareth, for his part, looked torn between coming back to me or snapping at the steward for even thinking of hitting me.

The three men halted, taking in my curled up body as well as Tareth and Lord Ashton. A slow, nasty smile crept across Liam's face.

"I see your plan worked. You broke him," Liam chuckled.

I saw Tareth's mouth drop open as he cut his eyes back to the viscount, fury and censure evident in his stance. Lord Ashton's hand snapped up in a quick gesture to halt any allegations that might fly from my brother's mouth. Those cinnamon eyes pinned Tareth with a warning. "Not now. Do as I asked."

Tareth's lips snapped shut in a thin grim line, his fists were clenched at his side. He let his gaze linger on me for a moment before flicking an auspicious look at his liege. Then he stormed out of the study.

"What's the matter with Reth?" Charlie asked.

"He's just... tired after rounding up more horses," the viscount explained.

I stared longingly at the food held carelessly in Donnelly's hand. My stomach growled at me.

"So, is he ready to talk?" Liam asked snidely. "Should I question him while you go eat?"

And that was when it hit me. I could help discover who 'Lee' was... maybe... if 'Lee' didn't want me spilling what I knew to Lord Ashton.

"Please..." I croaked out, attracting all eyes to me again. "Please... if you let me eat... and rest..." I fell back limply on the couch as if I had no more energy to fight. "...I'll tell you everything I can about the marquis in the morning."

The looks I received were an odd mix: Donnelly, pity; Charlie, confusion; Liam, smug satisfaction; and Ashton... shock and alarm.

"Well, good," Liam huffed. He waved his arm at Donnelly. "Feed him then. Afterwards, I'll take him back to his... room." I was sure he wanted to say cell, which would be an accurate description.

Eyeing each man carefully, I still couldn't tell which of them, if any, might be 'Lee'. But I knew I'd just given 'Lee' a reason to act, especially if he thought I knew something incriminating against Barrett and Richard. I was certain, if one of these men were 'Lee', I would know tonight. 'Lee' would have to stop me from talking...somehow.

As Donnelly stepped forward, I saw Ashton cross his arms over his chest, his fingers flexing as if he wanted to grab something. Maybe me. Instead, he watched as his man helped me up into a sitting position and placed the bowl in my lap. The viscount shifted minutely closer, hovering over me as I slowly started eating. It seemed an oddly protective move, but I was sure I had to be reading that wrong. Maybe he was just making sure I didn't run... or spill my food on his couch.

I didn't want to eat too fast, so I took my time. I knew from experience it would make my stomach cramp, plus I wanted to spend as much time near Lord Ashton as possible.

It might be the last chance I had.

****

"What the hell do you think you were doing, saying something like that?" Lord Ashton rounded on me as soon as he'd closed the door behind his men, causing me to jump.

They had all basically ignored me as I ate—well, other than a few quick cutting glances. Liam had reviewed the wagon routes with Charlie and Donnelly, as well as what items were to be dropped at each stop. I admit I enjoyed watching the stretch of Lord Ashton's shirt across his broad shoulders as he'd crossed his arms and silently watched his three closest advisors.

I had wondered what was going through his head. Did he believe me that one of them might be working for Master Barrett? Was he wondering which one it could be? I suppose he might be feeling a little betrayed at the possibility one of them could be a spy for his enemy. He'd trusted these men—with his life. To think one could have been implicit in poisoning his brother and stealing from him... I was sure he must be in turmoil.

But I hadn't thought it was at me anymore—until he'd just snapped at me.

"What do you think you are doing?" he repeated as I stared at him dumbly. "Why would you tell them you'll let loose your tongue on the morrow when you believe one of them might be working for that viperous weasel Barrett?" I was shocked at how angry he looked. I'd thought he'd like my plan to draw out 'Lee' so he could send his wagons on without delay—if it worked, of course.

"I—I thought I could help." I set aside my bowl, the urge to drop to my knees under his ire pricking at the edges of my need to obey, to submit.

"How? By making yourself a target?" Lord Ashton lashed out, surprising me with his ferocity. "I won't have you endangering your life any further. You've already been through—"

"Excuse me, sir," I interrupted, startling both him and myself. I'd never spoken this much in my life as I had today, in this man's domineering presence. I took a fortifying breath. Be strong. "But I need to help my brother. To help you. You need to know who is working for my master and—"

"He's not your fucking master anymore," Lord Ashton growled. "Stop talking about that bastard like he owns you. He doesn't. You're not his anymore."

I blinked. That was true, wasn't it. I gaped at the man for several moments. Was I really free? It didn't feel like it though. It still felt like he had control over me, over my soul, his whispered words of appreciation for my obedience still haunting the recesses of my mind. For so long, he'd been the only person to want me—even in his vile way—now I had no one. No one would want me after what Marquis Barrett had done to me. Even Tareth will be appalled by what my life had become after he left me.

"Yes, sir," I finally edged out. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean—"

"Ash," he interrupted again softly, and my eyes shot up at the change in his voice, so different from the sharp growl he'd just used a moment ago. "My name is Ash."

I know my jaw dropped open because I could feel it hanging there with no words coming out. I barely registered him moving to sit next to me, a slight smile lighting his stern features. Was he actually telling me I could call him that? Did he really think I could ever actually do it? It seemed so... so unreal... so unbelievable... I was certain I had to have imagined him saying it.

"Now, tell me why you feel so compelled to draw the attention of Barrett's spineless lackey." Ashton's firm hand gripped the back of my neck, centering me, bringing me back from the hallucinatory state I was sure I had been in.

"I—I..." I couldn't remember what I'd been planning on doing for several moments. I'd had a plan, one I thought would draw out 'Lee'. At least, I think I did. The beginnings of one anyway. "I t-think Lee will come to get me, from the room," I finally forced out. "All three of them heard me announce that I... I would talk."

"If it is one of them. And even if it isn't, I'm sure most of the household will know shortly as soon as they get back to the kitchen, and they tell everyone you finally broke. Liam's... well, Liam's been looking for someone to take his anger out on—you've been an easy target."

I was well aware of what Liam thought of me. His anger bordered on irrational, even after Lord Ashton had defended me.

"Quite honestly, I'm hoping it's not one of them though," Ashton admitted, his hand withdrawing from my neck to rub anxiously at his chin. I nearly whimpered at the loss of his reassuring heat. "Liam, Donnelly, Charlie... I've trusted them with my life, my brother's life, hell, with the entire estate. To know that one of them might..."

I nodded, my hands clenched tightly in my lap. "But this way you're not risking any of your men to find out, si—"

The look those cinnamon eyes shot at me had the formal address dying on my lips. I couldn't determine what that look meant. Was he angry with me again? Why? I wasn't sure what I had done now.

"You really are a stubborn little thing, aren't you?"

I bristled at the 'little' but held my tongue until I was sure I wouldn't be punished for whatever had angered him now.

"I don't want to risk anyone," Ashton told me pointedly. Arguing was not in my nature—not since Tareth left—but for some reason, maybe because he hadn't truly hurt me yet, this man had dissenting words fighting to escape my tongue. They might have escaped if he hadn't sighed heavily. "However, you have already dropped the bait out there, we might as well see if it hooks any fish."

Thank you! I released the breath I'd been holding.

"But..."

Damn, of course there was a 'but'...

"...I'm going to be in that room too."

My frown must have betrayed my confusion because he continued.

"You don't seriously think I'm leaving you in there alone, do you? If Lee shows up, I know what his plans are. I saw what happened to the poor sap we captured who told us about Barrett's involvement in our stolen cargo."

Oh, yes, the 'viperous ratsbane that Sterling caught.' Ghostly slashes across my back followed the memory of Master's—Barrett's—anger at the man who'd betrayed him. Based on the expression on the viscount's face, I was beginning to think maybe I'd gotten off easy.

"Sir?" I wasn't sure having the viscount himself attempting to catch Lee was the best plan either. What if he got hurt himself? But then I hadn't really thought much past Lee showing up to get me. "Couldn't someone would wait... somewhere... hidden for...?"

My voice trailed off. Damn. I really hadn't thought this through very well. What if there wasn't a place nearby for the viscount to hide and see who 'Lee' was? What if Lee wasn't even one of Lord Ashton's three advisors? What if—?

"I'm not leaving you vulnerable by waiting outside." The fierce look on his face told me there would be no arguing. He glanced at the fading sunlight. "And since you told everyone how tired you were and needed rest, we need to get you back to the room quickly. But the lock does pose a problem," he mused. "If the door isn't locked, it might tip him off. I need to figure out who I can trust to—"

"Sir, you don't have to wait with—"

"No." And I was shocked by the hand gripping the back of my head and pulling me forward. Gods, he was so close. I could feel his breath ghosting over my face as he panted anxiously. My heart jumped to my throat, and my lungs stopped as I started at those intense brown eyes. "No," he repeated, softer this time. He pulled me a little closer, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm not leaving you alone in there, and I'm not sure who else I'd trust. Gods, he could... do anything... before I got there."

I didn't know what was happening. My head spun with his intoxicating scent drowning me. Why was he talking like this? Why wouldn't he just stay out, stay safe...?

"Damn. Your eyes are so—"

A loud knock had me jumping—something I knew better than to do; I'd had enough training to be in better control than that. Yet, Lord Ashton—Ash—startled too, just enough to pull away from me and drop his hand from my head to my shoulder.

"Come in."

My eyes darted from his to the intruder, surprised to see my brother again. Tareth stepped in, his dark sapphire eyes darted between his lord and me, assessing, questioning. His gaze lingered on the viscount's hand gripping my shoulder.

"Sir, I've brought Dr. Fulbert, as you requested."

Ashton rose, his hand sliding from my shoulder, leaving me reeling a bit at the loss of his touch. The doctor followed my brother in. Tareth was staring at me, appraising my condition, and I actually had to smile at his brotherly concern.

"Well, what's up with this young man now?" Dr. Fulbert cast glances from me to the viscount.

"He collapsed a bit ago. But he does seem better now that he's had something to eat," Ashton explained. "He probably just needs to rest."

I nodded, sharing one last knowing look with the viscount. We both knew I needed to get back to my little room to continue the ruse I'd started.

The doctor moved next to me, and I shifted my gaze to my brother. Tareth was trying to contain himself from demanding more answers, from checking for himself that nothing was wrong, as he used to after father had punished me. I wished I could run to him and reassure him.

"Well, since I'm here, why don't I just take a quick look," Dr. Fulbert was saying.

"I'm fine," I said more to Tareth than for the doctor.

"Hmmm." Dr. Fulbert took my chin and turned my face to him. He lifted and shifted my head as he stared intently at my eyes. I wasn't sure what he was looking for. "Well, his pupils look fine. Can you stand for me, son?"

Son?

I hoisted myself up. My thighs were still a little shaky, but the rest I'd had on the couch and my full belly kept me steady. I flicked my eyes at Tareth as he watched me rise, his dark eyes glistening. I opened my mouth to reassure him I felt better, but the doctor cut me off.

"Take a few steps," the doctor commanded, and I could feel not only him watching me carefully, but Ashton as well.

I flicked my eyes over at the viscount, silently asking his permission. The soft smile and nod from the powerful man was almost tender. I stepped carefully over to my brother, wanting desperately to reach him, but I still wasn't sure how I'd be received. He'd heard what Liam had called me. I wasn't sure what he thought of me now.

"Tareth..." I could barely manage a whisper.

My brother's eyes were bright with unshed tears as his hand lifted toward me. "Gods, Kye, you're so..."

I already felt my chin ducking instinctively. Weak? Small? Revolting? Hopeless?

"Tall," Tareth finished with a smile as his hand touched my cheek. "So grown up. Gods, you've become a man. I almost didn't recognize you earlier."

What? My head jerked up. No one had ever called me big before. Of course the last time he'd seen me, I'd been a scrawny little ten-year-old, so maybe I was 'tall' in his eyes. But grown? A man?

A relieved breath rushed from my lungs. I grinned, probably for the first time in years. "So have you."

Tareth gushed out a laugh as the tension and strain of our reunion broke. He grabbed me, yanking me to him, engulfing me in those arms I'd missed for so long. I was surprised to feel him trembling as I clutched at his waist, burying my face in his shoulder. I realized he was actually crying as he nearly squeezed the breath out of me.

"For the love of the Gods, Kye, I missed you so much."

"Me too," I breathed against his neck. He had no idea how much.

"Well," the doctor's jovial, amused voice rang from behind us, "I'd say he's just fine."

"Yes, I suppose so," Ashton chuckled softly at Dr. Fulbert's diagnosis.

"He still needs to eat and probably rest," the doctor continued.

Tareth had pulled back slightly, his hands on my face again, fingers ghosting over it as if checking to see if I was really there. "I can't believe... after all these years... What happened? Where have you been? Why are you here now? Dad said you'd—"

"Reth," Ashton interrupted, knowing this could escalate into a long, heated conversation I wasn't sure I was ready for. I bit my lip to hold back my relief at the viscount's intervention. As much as I might want to be with Tareth, I had to protect him first. I pulled the pieces of my crumpling spirit together. I couldn't let anything happen to Tareth. And that meant finding out who the traitor was before those wagons departed.

"I know you have questions for your brother," Lord Ashton continued, "but perhaps right now is not the time. You heard Dr. Fulbert. Kye needs rest."

"But, sir, I can take him and—"

"Doctor, can I ask you to return Kye to his room for me before you go back upstairs?" Ashton cut off my brother's protest meaningfully. Dr. Fulbert looked at the viscount askance, probably thinking it strange that he'd been requested to carry out the task.

"Of course. Come, young man," Dr. Fulbert urged.

I gave my brother one last embrace. I knew what Lord Ashton was doing, but Tareth didn't. There wasn't time for Tareth and I to talk, not if there was any hope of catching the traitor.

"Kye?" I heard his voice waver behind me. "Sir, I mean no disrespect, but what's happening? Why can't he stay with me? I promise to let him rest."

"Reth, we need to talk for a few moments privately. I have a favor to ask of you..."

The click of the door behind me cut off the rest of the viscount's words as well as any protests my brother might have. Prickles of dread tickled the hairs at the back of my neck and I fought the urge to run back in.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Lord Ashton will clear up everything, and you can talk with Reth on the morrow," Fulbert assured, guessing at the reason for my listlessness.

I only nodded. I sincerely hoped I'd see Tareth again.

If I survived Lee's visit.