Chapter 15

Tareth. Tareth had been... here... the whole time. At my Mas—Barrett's—enemy's home. I pulled both my feet up on the cot and wrapped my arms around my knees.

He'd been safe, and well, all these years. Thank the Gods.

A relieved tear slipped down my cheek. I'd always worried that he had suffered at the hands of another arrogant aristocrat. I hadn't had much contact with the upper echelon, but those I had were much the same as the Marquis—The Earl of Huxton, Baroness DeLyle—had treated anyone not of the nobility as inferiors.

But apparently that wasn't the case. Here, at least, Tareth had found a home, friends even, at the Sterling Estate. It hurt that he'd never come back for me though. I'd have been willing to work with him, doing anything he wanted to help mama and father—anything but stay as the marquis's amorato. Why hadn't he come for me? If he was so close?

The snick of the lock drew my attention, and I realized the light had faded to darkness while my eyes had been buried in my arms. Body tight, ready to fight, I stared at the dark figure sliding into my room. He'd brought no light, his own clothes dark enough to cloak him in the shadows.

"Kye." I let out a relieved breath. Lord Ashton. Not Lee.

He'd actually come. I had mixed feelings about him being here. I craved the strength he offered. But I also feared for him. He was the viscount. He shouldn't be risking himself like this, even to catch a traitor. I was nothing, expendable... but he wasn't. He was everything.

I had hoped maybe he'd send someone he trusted instead. He seemed to trust Dr. Fulbert, but I suppose he was too old to ask to do something so dangerous. He must have known he could ask Tareth, but maybe he didn't truly trust him, even if he was my brother.

I scrambled to my feet, snapping to attention.

"Sir." I whispered, my hands clasped behind my back automatically.

I heard a heavy sigh, saw the dark shadow move closer. "Kye, relax. This... this..." I felt his hand brush my arm, tugging gently to get me to release my rigid stance. "This isn't necessary. Surely you know that by now."

My mouth gaped open and closed again. I didn't know what to say. I knew nothing else. My training, my discipline. Be strong. Be good.

It's all I had. Without it, I was nothing.

"I'm sorry, sir?" I finally managed, our voices barely a whisper.

"There's so much I want to say, to ask," Ashton breathed in my ear, keeping his voice low and quiet so no one would know he was there, and I felt my stance relaxing, melting under his caressing tone. "You're so... intriguing. You've captivated me since the first time I saw you."

What? I jerked under his hold. That... that couldn't be true. He'd hated me the first time he'd seen me, had called me Barrett's whore, his pet, nothing but a...

I couldn't help the tears springing to my eyes at the memory of those harsh words. I stiffened, trying to pull myself back together. I'd begun to let him break me down to lose my control. Why had I fallen under his spell? He was just as much a liar as any other noble.

"Kye?" The viscount obviously felt the change.

"Yes, Sir?" I bit out, fighting back the tears. How could I have been so stupid? I was his prisoner. The man who'd helped poison his brother. Bait for the traitor he was trying to catch. How could I have imagined I could be anything but? He was just trying to appease me, soften and mollify me, so I'd do his bidding. Fuck that, I'd already agreed to help catch Lee. He didn't need to fucking lie to me too.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, sir." I stepped back, wanting to distance myself from his enticing scent before I lost myself completely. "You—you should—maybe you should stand by the door."

But his hand wrapped around my neck, halting my retreat. The firm grip lifted my face toward the meager light shining in the window from the moon. His thumb hesitantly swept over the salty tear that had leaked out without my permission. "What's wrong?" he asked again.

"I—I can't... I know you—" I stuttered over my words. I shouldn't even be speaking to this man, this beautiful aristocrat, this way.

"You know I what?" he prompted.

I clenched my hands into fists, fighting for control I knew I was losing. "I know how you—you f-feel. You—you don't... have to lie... try to—to placate me. I'll help you catch Lee. I said I would."

"What are you talking about? Lie?"

In the dim light, he almost looked truly confused, concerned about... me. I hated it. At least, Master never lied about how he felt about me. Never made me think I could be worth more than he'd already deemed me to be.

"When you first met me, sir, you made your feelings perfectly clear. Sir," I hissed, and I couldn't keep the irritation out of my voice, even though I knew I shouldn't be talking to a lord this way.

Lord Ashton deflated, understanding and... something else... crossing the shadowed features. "Oh, gods, Kye." Suddenly, I was yanked closer, his lips hovering over mine and I couldn't breathe.

"I never meant to—" he broke off, his eyes squeezing shut before opening again. I was struck by the misery in those dark eyes. "Fuck, I... When I first saw you, you looked so... so damn... innocent... hovering behind that maggot in the doorway. Then you cuddled up next to him like—Gods, Kye, I lost it. I couldn't stand seeing you with that bastard. Seeing such a beautiful creature like you wanting that man... I couldn't imagine what he'd done to deserve your devotion..."

Devotion?

I'm sure the look of horror was written on my face because the viscount chuckled lowly. "Yes, I know now, I was mistaken. But I couldn't understand why then. Why would someone like you stay with a man like that? I was furious, at you, at him..."

"I had to," I whispered.

"What?" Ashton startled.

"I had to. I was contracted."

Ashton was silent for a moment. "Contracted services are for learning a trade, not... not—"

"My mother needed medicine. Father had to sell the farm, move to town for mama's health. Father contracted me to the marquis. I had to stay, to help her. Lord Barrett threatened to take away the money that was being sent to her."

A harsh furrow settled between Lord Ashton's brows. "Fucking bastard. Gods, I wish your father had come to mine and not that godsdamn excuse for a marquis. He had to know my father might be willing to offer a contract for you, just as he did for your brother."

"I don't think father was looking at the time. I think he and Lord Barrett happened upon each other. It was just... timing, I believe. "

"But even after you were here," Ashton continued softly, his thumb still stroking my cheek, "away from him, you seemed so faithful to him, not talking, so formal and austere...clipped in your answers..."

I opened my mouth to protest, but my training, my control kicked in before anything came out, and I bit down on my lip.

"Yes, I know why now. You were trained by that maggot to be silent, speak only when spoken to, keep rigid and controlled. I thought you were just being defiant. But you weren't, were you? You just didn't know you were free of his dominion, did you?"

"I—I—" There wasn't anything I could say. Was I really free?

The quiet slide of a lock broke our attention from each other.

Ashton smiled at the frown of confusion he had to have seen on my face. "Reth. I asked your brother to come throw the lock. I have to say, he was really angry with me for putting you in danger. Almost hit me."

The gasp that escaped me was one of horror, of my brother getting in trouble with the viscount because of me.

But Lord Ashton just looked amused. "I think he realized quickly I didn't have a say. You had already put yourself there, not me, much to both of our annoyance. Funny, though, he wasn't surprised you'd thrown yourself to the wolves like that, says he remembers you trying to do that for him as well when you were younger."

"I—" Damn, my mouth and brain didn't seem to want to function together tonight.

Lord Ashton drew me forward, and this time I didn't resist. "Reth was very adamant that I keep you safe, and I intend to do that. I promise."

"Sir..."

"Ash." He breathed against my temple.

I swallowed thickly. "A-Ash, sir, I—"

"Shhh," he urged. "We'll talk more later."

I felt soft lips press against my temple, and I pressed my eyes closed. This had to be a dream. A dream I was sure I'd wake from any moment now.

Then firm hands were pushing me back until my calves hit the edge of the cot. I nearly fell onto the small bed.

"Rest," Ashton stated. "Or at least pretend to. Don't worry. I'll keep watch over you if you do fall asleep."

He pressed my shoulders down, and I let myself flop over on my small bed. He wrinkled his nose at the small blanket as he drew it over me. "I should never have let Liam put you in here. I wasn't thinking, I was so angry about Row..."

"I know." I hesitantly put my hand over his, squeezing slightly. He'd known nothing about me, only that I'd been complicit in helping to poison his brother. "I let Lord Barrett hurt your brother, I deserved—"

"Damn it, Kye!" His harsh voice caused me to cringe. "You didn't poison Row!" he whispered firmly. "Barrett did. Fuck, you telling Sam what happened saved him, Kye, don't you see that?"

I pressed my lips together. I wasn't sure what else to say or do.

Voices passed outside nearby. We waited tensely while they faded into the distance. Ashton sighed before pushing himself away, obviously resigning himself to my silence. "You always have to be so damn stubborn, so strong, and unyielding, don't you?" his voice cracked, and I frowned. Wasn't that the way I was supposed to be? "We'll talk about this later."

I just nodded silently, not sure what more there was to talk about. I still didn't understand why he wasn't upset that I hadn't been able to stop the poisoning in the first place. I watched him retreat to the other side of the tiny room in a few steps, resting with his back next to the hinges of the door. He crossed his arms as he waited silently, looking like he wanted to say more.

I tugged the meager blanket up to my chin, hiding my face in the shadows. I pulled my knees up, curling into my usual protective ball. I didn't want him to see just how much he affected me, affected my control. Because he made me want to surrender, to beg for his forgiveness, to let go...

"It's okay to fall, Kye," a whispered voice soothed. "I'll catch you."

My heart stuttered in my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the urge to believe in those three words—I'll catch you. No one had caught me before, not in years. Tareth had been the only one I'd ever trusted enough with my heart, my soul, to let go before—and he'd left me.

Could I believe in someone again?

****

The silence of the night was nearly deafening. The tension hung in the room like an executioner's axe waiting to fall. Neither of us said anything more. I could hear Lord Ashton breathing and shifting occasionally. He had to be tired standing there for so long, but I didn't dare say anything.

The sounds of the household had faded to sleep a while ago. I was sure it was past the midnight hour by now, even if it seemed so much later. I'd tried to rest, but the viscount's words kept echoing in my mind: It's okay to fall, I'll catch you.

I'd been holding myself together by sheer will for so long, trying to be good, to be strong, that I wasn't sure if I could let go in front of anyone. Falling, breaking, meant weakness—and usually brutal disciplinary punishment.

But Ashton was giving me permission to let go, to be free of the rigid control over my emotions. I just didn't know if I could.

Ashton's body shifted restlessly again. I began to wonder if Lee wasn't going to show up; therefore, making the viscount's guard over me pointless. Knowing Liam had gloated to the rest of the household at least gave me hope that Lee had been 'notified' of my intentions, that I had finally decided to give in and betray Barrett—not that I hadn't already.

I could feel fatigue creeping through my bones, my eyes growing heavier. The subtle rasps of fabric sliding over tense muscles from behind the door managed to keep jarring me awake. Outside, the muted sounds of night filtered through the window: the chirping of crickets, the wind stirring in the trees, the distant hooting of an owl. Occasionally, I thought I heard rustling in the brush and grasses nearby, but it was barely there before fading away. Must have been a cat slinking through the darkness looking for a tasty treat.

I'd almost nodded off when the soft nicker of a horse startled me. It seemed closer than the distant whinnies I'd heard from the barn before. I half sat up, noting that Ashton had straightened from where he'd been lounging against the wall. The soft whisper of movement from outside my door, probably from the outer entrance slipping open, had my pulse racing.

The tell-tale slide of the lock had me sitting up a bit more, anxious for this night to be over. For it all to be over. As the door started swinging open, Ashton started to step forward from behind it, but it swung open so abruptly, it blocked his confrontation with the intruder.

"Get up," the voice growled from the shadows.

That voice. So very familiar by now.

Charlie.