Boy Story: The Road Taken - 64. What Is It About Weddings?

What Is It About Weddings?

Weddings were always eventful for Parker and me beyond what we were there for. And it was usually due to seeing those family members that we generally did not see at any other time. When Ginny and Bill got married, Bill introduced us to his gay nephew, Kevin, and his boyfriend, Vince. We were all within a year or three in age and had many similar interests. As a result, we eventually became good friends. They provided a kind of touch point for our same-sex relationship status, so we didn’t feel isolated in our suburban home. We’d all go to the beach, concerts, an all-ages club, we'd have them over for a backyard barbecue, or we'd simply go out to a movie. It was cool to go as a group to see the newest gay-themed movie at the art cinema or the Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. When Parker and I had no plans, we did have a lot of sex to fill the void (excuse the pun). But we couldn’t stay locked in the house having incredibly satisfying sex all the time. While it was fun to live like gay porn stars, we needed to explore other interests outside the bedroom.

Unfortunately, after two plus years and many fun summer afternoons, Kevin and Vince split up. I guess it’s almost inevitable with first relationships. We considered Kevin and Vince our contemporaries (even though I was slightly older), but they didn’t have a wealth of experiences with other guys. Yes, Parker was my first gay relationship, but he wasn’t my first relationship. And I was not Parker’s first. It definitely helps to have had some exposure to what’s out there to know what works for you. Bad past relationships help foster better choices for new ones. It seemed that Kevin was a bit of a control freak, but Vince was very meek. Were they a mismatched couple? Maybe. Yet sometimes a meek person needs a partner with a stronger personality to help get things done. After their split, I felt bad because we kind of drifted apart and lost touch.

I’d usually see Kevin at a big family event, and we’d talk and promise to keep in touch, but that never really happened. I think Kevin felt he needed a boyfriend before he could hang out with us like the old days. But then when he finally got a boyfriend, he’d forget to get back in touch. In retrospect, we probably could have preserved the close relationship if we had communicated better. But we didn’t think that way when we were in our 20s.

We did run into Vince the following year at the Pride parade. Parker and I and Vince all happened to be spectating from the same plot of land. Parker saw him first and said, “Vince is that you?”

“Oh, my God! Parker! And Matt!” he called out and we had a big group hug.

“Guys, this is my boyfriend Corey,” he added.

We did the introductions and the handshakes. “So how long have you been together?” Parker asked.

“Let’s see…” Vince counted on his fingers, “six—almost seven—months!”

We all made an effort not to remind ourselves that we knew each other through Kevin, but it still hung in the air like a thick fog. We exchanged information and promised to keep in touch. That was going to be tough because we were always going to be related to Kevin (through marriage). The song “There’s always something there to remind me” ran through my head. The next contact we had from Vince was a card that following Christmas. He was still with Corey and they had moved to San Francisco.

“San Francisco? How cliché. ‘We’re gay so why don’t we move to San Francisco!’” Parker said mocking them.

“Yup, earthquake city. No thanks. Plus there are too many gays there! Ha ha!” I joked.

“Yeah, there goes the neighborhood! Ha ha!” Parker added.

That was the last we heard from Vince…until Facebook became ubiquitous and he reconnected with us. Vince had broken up with Corey, who developed a passion for drugs, and he sent us a picture of him with his new partner, Kim, who was Asian. Kim was cute and they looked really good together.

Parker quipped, “When one guy is Asian, who’s the top?” He mimicked a nerdy straight person asking the question.

I burst out laughing and then Parker joined in.

Regardless, we have been in contact with Vince through online means ever since even though we didn't message much. Although, Parker and I took a week vacation and went to San Francisco to visit them a few years after we got married. Vince and Kim took off the same week and we all traveled around as tourists up to Napa Valley to visit wine country and then up to Yosemite. We did stop overnight in the little town of Calistoga, where Parker and I shared the experience of a mud bath and a trip in a glider plane the next day. We both thought that was the highlight of the vacation, and that part wasn't even planned.

Meanwhile, we’d see Kevin maybe once a year when Bill hosted a cookout or if a family event was taking place. We never mentioned that we were in contact with Vince and went to the West Coast to visit. We felt they were both friends of ours even if they weren’t together anymore. Separate but equal. Besides, Kevin was now in a relationship with Michael, a lawyer, who was a few years older, so it was all good. They were living in Michael's million dollar brownstone in Boston's South End.

My sister, Melissa, had long ago grown out of her emo phase and she got into fitness. She was suddenly all about aerobics and pilates and spinning and cross training. She eventually went to fitness instructor training and started teaching classes. I remembered all of the loose-fitting clothing from her emo days, and the next time I saw her, she was in skin-tight workout clothes with a rocking body. Her appearance was so markedly different that she hardly looked like the same person. I thought it was a vast improvement.

Then the improbable happened at our wedding. Beginning at the reception, which was just an easy buffet affair at a function hall, I noticed Parker’s brother, Nick, talking to my sister. I figured it was nice that the two families were getting acquainted. When Parker and I returned from our honeymoon, we were informed that Nick and Missy had started dating. Nick was two years older than me and my sister was three years younger than me, so I guess the ages worked out even though I hadn’t even considered that before.

In a scenario pulled from the pages of truth is stranger than fiction, not even a whole year later Nick and Missy announced they were engaged. What the—? Nick was already my brother-in-law through my marriage to Parker. Now Nick could potentially be my brother-in-law again if he and my sister tied the knot. Is there a term for this? Is this like a brother-in-law squared? They did get married when Nick was 32 and my sister was 27. This paved the way for the yearly practice of our two families spending Christmas day together at my parents’ house…Ginny and Bill included. My folks loved entertaining and Christmas was that perfect time every year when the whole clan would reconvene and catch up on what we were all up to.

During the first Christmas get together after their wedding, I was talking privately with Nick. “I was surprised when I heard Missy and you were dating,” I began.

“Yeah, it’s strange how it all came about. I was talking to your sister at your wedding reception for a good while before she informed me that she was the groom’s sister,” he explained. “I asked her how that could be because I was the groom’s brother. That was certainly an unusual start.”

“Hah! Another odd twist is that I thought my sister was going lesbian, so when I heard she was dating a guy, I was surprised,” I told him.

“Yeah, she told me up front that she was ‘a little bisexual’ when we started dating. I told her I didn’t mind,” Nick replied.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I thought that could work out to my benefit. Girl, girl, guy…that’s like a straight guy’s dream.”

“Hah, that would be a really cool fantasy if my sister wasn’t involved.”

“Yeah, but your sister is my wife.”

“I know.”

“But don’t forget, my brother is your…uh, husband.”

And then I thought about all of the sexual dalliances that I’d had with his brother.

“So I guess that makes us even, then,” I stated.

“Damn straight,” Nick replied.

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