Paper Walls - 25. Chapter 25

*Ryder*

I finally hear Jeremy come out of the shower and back to his room. I stayed up until 12am last night and he still was not home when I fell asleep. I walk over to his door and knock on it.

“Yeah?” he yells from behind the door.

I open it and he is lazing back on his bed in just his boxers. He looks skinnier, and I can tell he is exhausted. “You got in really late last night.” I tell him, leaning on the dresser.

He gives a halfhearted laugh. “Thanks, Mom.”

I can tell he does not really want to talk about it, but I cannot let it go at all. I have not seen him but at practice, which he leaves early, and he does not get home until late. Even Wilder has asked about him. “What’s going on with you, man?”

“Just a lot, Ryder. You wouldn’t understand. Now, can you please leave? I would really like to get some sleep,” he says, putting his arm over his eyes.

This angers me a lot. We used to talk, and the last few weeks, it’s like we barely know each other anymore. I shake my head and kick his bed, “That doesn’t make any sense, Jeremy. Tell me what’s going on.” I have never gotten this upset before at Jeremy; in fact, we have never argued at all. This would be the first time.

He gets off the bed and grabs me by the collar. “Ryder, get the fuck out of my room,” he says, and I can tell from the look on his face that I am breaking him down, and it hurts, but he isn’t letting me in.

I slowly peel his hand off my collar. “No, you are obviously hurting, and I want to be there for you. You have been so gone lately that I am worried about you.”

Jeremy runs his hands through his hair; it really doesn’t help his cause. “Ryder…why the fuck can you not listen? I just want to get sleep, okay? I’m not ready to talk about this.”I wish he would give me the chance to understand.

“You skip half of practice and then come home late. I have to deal with Jaxson’s sarcastic ass self when he is looking for you, Wilder is asking about you, and yet no one seems to want to talk about what’s going on.”

He sits up, and meets my eyes. He looks terrible. He has dark circles under his eyes from not getting enough sleep. “I don’t know what to tell you, Ryder, other than I fucked up,” he says, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“No, you don’t get to do that to me! You have always made me tell you everything that was bothering me. Now it’s your turn, you just don’t get to decide that you don’t have to tell me shit. You haven’t been here when I needed you a few times, and you were nowhere to be found!” I say, raising my voice.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “No, don’t be sorry. I needed you, but I found a way to cope without you. Not saying I never need you, but I don’t depend on you as I used to. Did you know Wilder has a really tough time sleeping? I have found him crying alone more times than I can count. He does me like I did you - he’ll come to my room and get in my bed. I know how you felt then, and I don’t mind it. Jeremy, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you are never here, and it’s like a huge fucking hole in this family.”

He lifts his head from his hands and he’s crying. “I know I haven’t been there for you, Ryder, and it hurts so bad. I haven’t been there for the team, the family…and that hurts me so much after everything we have been through.” He looks away, trying to regain his composure

I kneel in front of him “Jeremy, can you tell me what’s going on?”

Jeremy looks up at me, his eyes bloodshot. “Emily is pregnant, and she doesn’t want to keep the baby. So I am keeping it. We have signed the papers. I had to get a lawyer. I have been working a full time job at night to save up money because I know how expensive babies are, and I know I am going to have to get an apartment. I don’t want your parents to have to support a baby, as well.”

He is shaking right now. I don’t know what else to do, so I hug him, and he takes a deep breath. “What about college?”

He laughs, and I know it’s not funny, but sarcastic. “I can’t go. I won’t have time, and on top of finding a baby sitter for working, I can’t afford more than that.”

I hear someone clear their throat, look over and it’s Coach. Jeremy wipes the tears away from his eyes and backs up. “Hey Dad,” I say.

“So it’s finally getting to you, huh?” Coach says, walking into the room.

Jeremy wipes his eyes again. “Yes sir.”

I can’t read Coach’s expression, mostly because he only has one face. It always looks unimpressed, even though it’s just how he looks. “Come here, Son,” he says to Jeremy. As Jeremy approaches him, Coach pulls him into a tight hug, and puts his hand on the back of Jeremy’s head. “Son, you aren’t moving out of the new house when we move, and you damn sure aren’t quitting college. I have used my allotted stipend at the college to support you. Yes, you will have to work your ass off, but me or Kat will watch the baby. Hell, I will bring the baby to football practice if I have to. They have those things that you can strap the baby to you, hell, that seems like a good idea to me. Boy, we all make mistakes, but I won’t stand by and let you throw your life away.”

Jeremy is clutching on to Coach hard, and he is crying, so I decide to let them continue their conversation in private and slip out of the room. I notice Wilder leaning against the wall near my door. “Hey, buddy.”

He gives me a small wave. “I knocked, but I didn’t know what to do. You never said anything.”

“Yeah, I was in Jeremy’s room.”

“He’s here?”

“Yeah, he and Dad are talking,” I tell him, opening my door, and Wilder follows me into the room. “You okay?” I ask, as I reach for my shoes and sit on my bed.

He sits in my computer chair and spins around, and finally stops, and his green eyes are searching for reassurance from me, that it’s okay to talk. “I don’t like school.”

I laugh, and he looks at me like he is confused. “Dude, no one likes school at all.”

“I have hard time with all the words, and some kids are mean to me about it, and girls keep making me talk, ‘cause they like my voice.”

I try not to laugh, but I do. “The girls like your accent, and probably think you are cute,” I tell him, and he blushes.

“Is that boy coming today?” he asks in a more serious tone.

I finish tying my shoe and look up at him. “Who, Tyler?”

He shakes his head, “Not him. He’s nice to me. The other one, the crazy one.”

I let out another laugh. “Jaxson?”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, he is weird. I don’t understand him.”

“How is he weird?” I ask, standing up and grabbing my backpack.

“Just, he talks, and some words aren’t nice that he uses,” Wilder says, getting up from the chair and following me out of my room to the kitchen.

I let out a laugh. “That’s just Jaxson. He probably thinks you are cute, too.”

He gives me a weird look. “But I don’t like boys.”

I just laugh; I broke the news to Wilder that I was gay a week ago. He just shrugged his shoulder, said he that he didn’t care. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

He looks up with tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to go to school. You won’t be there.”

I put my arm around his shoulder. “Wilder, it’s just for a few hours. We both have to go to school, and then I will be coming home after practice, and I will help you tonight with your homework,” I tell him.

“Promise?” he asks, his green eyes searching mine for any hint of not telling the truth.

“Wilder, I promise. You are going to be fine, heck, you might have the best day today. I will be home after practice, and then we will hang out for a little bit.”

He hugs me, and I hug him back. “Morning, boys,” Mom says from the counter in the kitchen.

“Hey.”

“You boys hungry?” she asks.

I nod my head and look at Wilder, who nods his. “Oh yeah.”

“So, we have state Friday. How are you feeling about it?” Mom asks, as she gets up from the stool to grab a plate.

“Of course I am nervous about it. It’s state, and there is so much pressure. It’s all anyone talks to me about, is about state. Only one who doesn’t pressure me is Tyler, mainly ‘cause he is clueless about it all,” I say.

My mom gives me a look as she puts a plate of food in front of me. “Someone seems a bit sensitive about this subject.”

I know I am, but it’s literally the only thing people talk about when I am around, and it’s already a lot of pressure. I feel like I am about to freak out and have a panic attack. Tyler is the only one who is not talking about the game Friday. Of course, he’s been prepping for the after party - the one between me and him. Like yesterday, all the girls and a lot of the guys who never talk to me were asking how I feel about it. It’s just annoying. “I’m sorry, Mom. Just, that’s all anyone will talk to me about. It’s just starting to get to me. I didn’t mean to snap.”

She hands Wilder a plate of food and he looks up to her. “Wilder, I told you that you don’t have to ask permission to eat.”

“Sorry…” he mumbles, picking up his fork.

“Ryder, it’s a big deal, and I am sorry that you are under pressure. Coach is under a ton of pressure, too. He is a bit snippy lately. Speaking of him, where is he?”

“He’s upstairs with Jeremy,” Wilder says, taking a bite out of his eggs.

She nods her head. “How come no one told me what was going on?” I ask.

“It wasn’t our place to tell, Ryder. Jeremy has been having a hard time with everything, and we didn’t know how you would have reacted.”

I look at her as if she has two heads. “What do you mean, you don’t know how I would react?”

“Ryder, mind your tone. I don’t appreciate the attitude you have lately, and if it keeps up, you will be staying your butt at home after the football game,” she says, scolding me.

“Sorry, Mom,” I tell her.

She puts down the towel she has in her hand. I feel bad that I give her attitude. She looks exhausted. She’s had to jump through many hoops to get Wilder into school. It’s only for a half day, and then he spends the second half with a tutor. I pick up my empty plate and take it to the sink, rinsing it, and Mom hugs me from behind and kisses the back of my head.

“Don’t stress Friday, baby. Win or lose, you are still an amazing football player.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I tell her, putting up my plate.

Coach comes the kitchen, repositioning his hat. “Boys, you ready to go?”

“Jeremy?” Wilder asks.

I try not to laugh because how Wilder says Jeremy, it sounds like Germy. The kid is adorable even if he has no idea.

Coach puts his hand on Wilder’s shoulder and I can see him tense up. “No, buddy, he is going to stay home today. He doesn’t feel good.”

Wilder just nods his head. I remember exactly what it felt like when someone would put their hand on me a few years ago - it would scare me. I had no idea if they were going to hurt me or not. “Come on, Wild, let’s go get in the car,” I tell him.

“I have to get my bag,” he says, and darts from the chair.

I let out a little laugh and grab his plate, and put it in the sink. I watch as Coach goes over to Mom and kisses her. “Why do I feel like this kid is going to be a mess when he gets out of his shell?”

My mom laughs. “That’s because he will be. How is Jeremy?”

“He may need some motherly love this morning. Now I have to find my damn sunglasses. I have not seen them all morning!”

Mom rolls her eyes. “Well, at this rate, Wilder will be a mess just like you, love, because your sunglasses are on your head.”

Coach reaches for them and laughs. “I love you, woman.”

“I am getting in the car now!” I say as they kiss again, and Coach just waves me off.

 

*Tyler*

I pace around my room with the envelope in my hand. It’s the letter I have been waiting on for a few months now. I have just been scared to see what it says. If it’s a yes my life changed for forever, but if it’s a no I will be crushed…..I applied to UT for early admission, because I decided to graduate early. I sit on my bed and take a deep breath.

I wanted Ryder to be here with me, but I haven’t even told him I am graduating early. There are a few reasons I haven’t told anyone about this decision. I will be eighteen in January. I will age out of the foster system, and I know Kim wouldn’t mind me staying, but I don’t want to have those doubts in the pit of my stomach that she will, even though I am just being paranoid.

When I do hit eighteen, I will get my inheritance from my dad’s life insurance. Plus his old job had set me up a college fund, , so I am pretty well off. The part that I haven’t told anyone is that I will be leaving to move into the dorms.

I really need to tell Jaxson, but I have no idea how he’s actually going to take it. He’s been extremely erratic the last day; I don’t think he’s even slept. I could hear him crying last night, and when I went to ask him if he was okay, he just snapped at me to leave him alone. I know he’s thrown things in his room around. I heard them hitting the walls. Kim finally got him to calm down early this morning and he’s been quiet since.

I sit on the edge of my bed, fiddling with the envelope. I tear the corner and slide my finger in, and slide it along the top of the paper, ripping it open. I take out the neat folded paper, and turn it over. I feel myself break out in a sweat from the anticipation. Reading the letter, I skip the first few lines to read, “Congratulations, you have been accepted into the University of Texas for the spring semester.”

I can’t help but break out in a huge smile, and I lay back on my bed. I reach for my phone and check the time. Damn, Ryder is already on his way to school. I will just call him after practice to tell him. I hear a knock on my door, and it’s Kim.

“Hey Tyler, Jaxson isn’t going to school today, so you don’t have to drop him off,” she tells me, standing in the doorway.

“Is he okay?” I ask, sitting up.

She nods her head. “He will be. I don’t know what set him into this manic high, but I had to try and get him to sleep. He still isn’t asleep yet. I feel helpless when it comes to my own child. I help so many teenagers, but when it comes to situations like Jaxson’s, I feel incompetent.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. Jaxson’s manic highs never last this long. You can’t be a therapist to him and a mom. You have to be a mom to him.”

She comes into the room and gives me a hug. “When do you become an adult?”

I shrug my shoulders and laugh. “I don’t know, guess I had a good person to look up to.”

She spots the letter on my bed. “What’s that?”

I give her a big grin and hand the letter to her. I watch as she reads the letter and wait for her reaction, and I see a huge smile break out on her face. “Tyler, that is fantastic! Congratulations! Sweetie!

“I…uhh…yeah, I wanted to talk to you and Dadabout that, I guess I will be moving into the dorms. I turn eighteen soon, and I know I will age out of the foster system.” She smiles at the fact I referred to them as my parents

“Tyler, you know you don’t have to move from here. We don’t care that the state stops sending a check for having you. All we do is put it into your savings account.”

“I know, just, I thought it would be good to start being more independent. I mean, I am still going to come home on weekends and holidays.”

“I am so proud of you. Have you told Ryder yet?” she asks, handing me back the letter.

I shake my head. “Not yet, I just found out. I have had the letter for a few days, but I just opened it right now.”

“I know he will be so happy for you. We need to go out for dinner to celebrate. How about tonight?”

“I mean, yeah, if y’all are free, I would like that!”

She kisses me on the head. “I will set up a family event reminder, and you just let us know where you want to go.”

“Thanks, Kim!” I tell her as she starts walking out of the room. “Hey iss it okay if I ask Ryder to come if he’s free?”

She turns around. “Of course. We haven’t gotten to see much of him lately. I would love for him to come. Why don’t you see if the whole family is free?”

“Wait, really?” I ask.

“Yeah, we only ever get to see Ryder once in a blue moon, and we never get to see his parents.”

I get up nervously. “Mom, you realize they adopted another kid, and they have Jeremy, too.”

She laughs. “Tyler, we can handle paying for dinner. We are not worried about that. I think they would like to join in on the celebration as well! Just ask them, or I will call Cat myself!”

I can’t help but run over and hug her. “Thank you!” I say, close to tears.

She hugs me back squeezing me. “For what, baby?”

I choke up. “For this, for everything.”

She holds me out at arm’s length, “Tyler, Dan and I love you. I know we have been busy this past year, and we haven’t focused on you as much as we should, but we love you so much, and we will do anything to make sure you succeed in life, and do whatever we can to make sure your dreams come true.”

She pulls me back into a hug, and I hug her back. “Tyler, do you want to stay home from school today? Look after Jaxson so when he wakes up he isn’t alone?”

I let a real laugh that started deep in my stomach come out. “You never have to ask me twice about missing school!”

“Okay, sweetie, let me know if you need anything. We will leave some money on the counter in case you want to order take out.”

I lay back on my bed, and grab my phone. I text Ryder to call me really quick, and I barely put the phone down and it’s ringing.

“Hello?” I say.

“Hey!” he says. I can hear the smile in his voice, which makes me break into a grin.

“Babe, who are you in the car with?”

He hesitates. “Coach.”

I can hear Coach in the background asking what. I let out a laugh. “I need to talk to Coach,” I tell him.

“So you didn’t want to talk to me?”

“I always want to talk to you, babe,” I say.

“Whatever, here he is.”

I hear the phone being passed over, and Coach saying, “Hold on, damnit, I dropped it. Okay, gimme that slippery ass phone.”

I am cracking up laughing by the time he finally gets onto the phone. “Hello?” Coach says in his gruff voice.

I stutter, “Uh…C-c-coach, hey, it’s Tyler.”

“Well hell, Son, I figured that out from the way Ryder is lighting up like the Fourth of July over here.”

“My…um…Kim…um…she wanted me to ask to see if um…”

Coach lets out a sigh. “Damn, boy, spit it out, I don’t think you are about to give me nuclear launch codes.”

“Sorry, sir.” I say, sitting up on my bed, the butterflies exploding in my stomach. “Kim, my um foster parent, wanted me to invite you and the family to dinner tonight. We are celebrating, and they really insist you come.”

“Is it something fancy?” Coach asks. I can hear the reluctance in his voice.

I shrug my shoulder, even though I know he can’t see it. “No sir.”

“Good, because I am in shorts and a blue polo. Have Kim text Cat the details. Now I am going to get going.”

“Um...yes sir,” I say.

“What was that about?” Ryder says, as he gets back onto the phone.

“I guess I will be seeing you tonight!” I say, trying to contain my excitement.

“Really?”

“Yeah, babe. Hey, I gotta go. Someone is knocking on my door,” I tell him.

“I love you!” he says.

It shocks me, because he never says it first. “I love you, too.”

I hang up the phone, and I know I am blushing. I can feel the heat in my cheeks, and the butterflies in my stomach are in a full tornado. I hear the light knocking again. “Come in!” I yell.

The door slowly opens and Jaxson slips in. “What’s up, Jaxs?”

He looks around the room wide eyed, as if someone is going to get him. He scratches his arm nervously. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

He finally focuses back on me. “Can I…? Never mind, it’s stupid,” he mutters, and goes to leave. I jump off the bed, and grab his arm.

He jerks away and falls into the door, a look of fear passes over his eyes. “Why did you grab me?!”

“Jaxs, it’s okay, bubba, it’s just me,” I tell him, holding out my hand.

He looks like he is half way dead. I haven’t really seen him lately, I have been so busy with school. He’s lost weight, and he has dark circles under his eyes. “Can I sleep in your bed? Ty, I am so tired, but I can’t be alone,” he says, almost in a whimper.

This is weird, he’s never asked me anything like this. “Yeah, I was just about to lay back down. Come on.”

He looks unsure about taking my hand, but finally does. I help him up and he jumps into my bed, moving towards the wall, and gets under the covers. I have the coldest room in the house, so I have a lot of blankets on my bed. I turn off the light and get in bed. I was expecting him to roll into me and grab my arm and pull it over him.

“Jaxson, what’s wrong?” I ask.

“I think I am gay,” he whispers.

“Okay, is that why you have been so upset lately?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t want to be gay, but lately, I don’t know, I’m not seeing girls how I wanted to anymore, and I just can’t help it. There is… I liked it better when I thought I was bi…I saw them, well, I saw her!” he mumbles

“Jaxs, you aren’t making sense. It’s okay that you are gay, man. We will always love you. Who did you see, who is she?”

He turns around and he is almost in tears. “Her...my mom. I saw her. I know I saw her. And him. I saw the devil with her.”

I pull him closer and hug him, “Jaxson, there is no way, man. Your mom is locked away, and your dad is in jail. They aren’t going to hurt you ever.”

“I swear it was her, she looked right at me, and Cole saw her, and he knew too. You know Cole is my best friend, and he wouldn’t lie!”

“Jaxson, you haven’t seen Cole in the last few days man. Let’s get some sleep, dude, you aren’t making sense. You might have thought you saw your mom, but you could just be extremely tired,” I tell him.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am just crazy, I don’t know, I haven’t slept in a day and a half.”

I give him a nudge. “You aren’t crazy, man. So I want to talk to you before you doze off, but you need to promise me that you won’t freak out,” I tell him.

Jaxson doesn’t answer me. I think he fell asleep until he flips over to look me in the eyes. “Okay, I promise.”

I take a breath. I don’t know if I should wait, but he deserves to know before the dinner tonight. “So we are having a celebration dinner tonight,” I tell him, just to gauge his reaction.

He is drawing circles on my arm with his finger. “Kay, but it’s like seven in the morning. What are we celebrating?”

“I got accepted early into UT. I will be moving out in January,” I tell him and mentally brace myself for the worst.

He continues to draw circles on my bare arm, and doesn’t say anything. So I ask him if he’s okay. He stops and his sleepy eyes look at me. “That’s good. It’s gonna suck that you are moving out, but you can’t forget me…I am the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you,” he tells me, giving me his famous grin.

“You are really okay with it?” I ask.

“I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I mean, it sucks, but I am happy for you.”

I let out a laugh. “I for sure thought you would be so pissed!”

He shakes his head. “You are still gonna come home, right?”

“Dude, of course!”

“Then okay, listen, I’d like to stay up and chat and make you feel better, but I took a sleeping pill and I am having a hard time thinking. So if you feel better about leaving, then can we please go to sleep, or you can stay up, just shush, already.”

I roll my eyes. Of course, Jaxson would be so elegant with his words. “Okay, I will be quiet.”

He buries his head into my chest. “I love you, Tye.”

I almost start crying, because Jaxson never says I love you to anyone at all. I whisper I love you back, but he is asleep. I wrap my arm around him, and pull him closer to me. He’s lost some weight. I feel bad that I haven’t noticed his behavior patterns change. I know he couldn’t have seen his mother - she and her husband are locked away. Well, she’s in a mental facility, but her husband is in jail.

I text Ryder that I can’t wait to see him tonight. I put my phone on the bedside table, and lay my head back. Before I doze off, I check on Jaxson one more time, and he is lightly snoring, which makes me laugh. I pull the covers up more, and close my eyes.

*Jaxson*

I don’t know what wakes me up, if it is the fact I am sweating, pressed up against Tyler, or the fact I feel like I am going to piss myself. I slowly crawl out from Tyler’s arm to the end of the bed, getting off. I look back and he moves a little, but doesn’t wake up.

I make my way to the bathroom. Finishing up, I walk to the sink and wash my hands, and look into the mirror. I look like pure shit. My hazel eyes have dark circles under them. I have this splitting headache. It’s probably from the lack of sleep, but I don’t need it. I know Tyler probably thinks I am crazy, and damn, most days I feel like I am crazy, though no one will say it.

I splash water on my face, and tousle my sandy blonde hair. I leave the bathroom and make my way to the living room and sit on the couch. I look at the clock on the wall, and it’s just after 11. I want to go back to sleep. I don’t want to go back to Tyler’s room. I don’t even know why I went in there in the first place. I am totally calling dibs on his room when he moves out, though. I don’t know why he thought I would react badly to him moving out. I have known it was coming for a long time, I heard him talking about it with Ryder.

I push the thoughts out of my head. I don’t care, I just want to actually sleep right now. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I feel so out of control of myself. I haven’t taken my medication in over a week, until this morning, when I broke my phone. This is the first time I have ever gone this long without it, and I feel sick to my stomach, not to mention that my moods have been all over the pace.

Getting off the couch, I start walking upstairs to my room, when I hear a knock at the door. I make my way to the door and peer out the side window. I let a breath out, and open the door. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, that was not the welcoming I thought I’d have,” he says, leaning on the inside frame of the door.

I roll my eyes at him, “Well, you showed up unannounced,” I counter.

He laughs, and his light green eyes squint. “I tried to call you, but all I got was your voicemail.”

“Maybe I was avoiding you,” I say, and cross my arms over my bare chest.

Now he rolls his eyes at me. “No, I just was worried. I know you have been off your medication, and when you didn’t show up to school I got really worried. So I said screw it, and skipped to come check on you.”

I can’t keep faking being annoyed at him, so I blush and smile, not meeting his eyes. He closes the distance between us and lightly touches me and I open my arms to hug him. He leans in to kiss me, and I let him. He breaks the kiss. “I missed you,” he whispers.

I bite my lip. “I know.”

He shakes his head. “You are stubborn.”

“I missed you, too,” I say, pulling him in close and hugging him.

He winces. “Careful, babe.”

“How bad?” I ask, trying to lift his shirt.

Batting my hand away, he pulls his shirt down. “Not bad, I’ve had worse.”

I grab his hand in mine, the warmth makes my stomach flip. “Come to my room. I want to lay down. I am so exhausted.”

He looks around outside and into the living room, his green eyes searching for anything out of the ordinary. “Are you sure?”

“Terin, come on!” I tell him, pulling him inside.

I close the door, not letting go of his hand. I lead him up the stairs to my room, pulling him along because he wants to stop and look at the pictures on the wall. I finally get him into my room, and he looks around and chews the cuff of his long sleeve shirt. I look at him, he is so cute. His light green eyes looking all over my room, to his brown hair that’s short on the sides and long on the top. He is wearing a white long sleeve shirt with basketball shorts and black shoes. He looks better than me. I’m just wearing gym shorts, and my hair is sticking up everywhere.

“What?” he asks, blushing.

“You are cute,” I say.

“Not as cute as you,” he says, getting closer to me.

I kiss his soft lips. “Will you lay down with me? I am so tired.”

He nods, and I pull him into my bed. “How much sleep have you gotten?” he asks.

I shrug my shoulders. He kisses my bare shoulders and smiles at me. “Jaxson, please don’t scare me like that again. You know I care about you a lot.”

“I won’t,” I tell him.

He glances back to the door, “What if someone comes in?”

I roll my eyes. “Only one home is Tyler.” I wish he would just relax.

“Won’t he get upset?” he asks, and looks towards the door.

I shake my head, “Nah, he has his boyfriend over all the time.”

He breaks into a huge smile. “Did you indirectly refer to me as your boyfriend?”

I roll my eyes. “Shut up!” we haven’t committed to boyfriends, but we are. I just don’t know why I won’t say it. I reach for his shirt again, and he grabs my hands.

“Please?”

I tug at his shift, and he takes a deep breath, he lets go of my hands and doesn’t try to fight me. I lift his shirt up and he raises his thin arms above his head. I put his long sleeve shirt on the pillow and look at him. I can’t help but feel turned on by his abs. I wish I had his. He just naturally has them, and it drives me crazy. I look on his right arm near his elbow - there is a bruise in the shape of a hand mark.

I look at him and his eyes look to the bed as if the covers are more interesting than me. I get up and circle him. His back has whelps and a few of them broke the skin, I lightly touch a mean looking one and he winces. It’s burning hot. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, just wasn’t expecting your hands to be cold.”

I laugh. “Yeah, sadly, they are either ice cold or sweaty - no in-between.”

Terin grabs his shirt and puts it back on. I sit on the bed with him again. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I have had worse.”

“Terin, why don’t you tell someone? Tell your Uncle, he would take you in. You love him.”

He grabs my hand. “Jaxs, it’s not that bad. My dad just had a bad day at work, and I messed up. It’s fine. What about you? You look tired.”

I nod my head. “I am.”

He smiles, and I can’t help but smile back. “Want to lay down?” he asks.

I nod my head. “I mean, that’s what we came up here for!”

He moves closer to me as we lay down. “Jaxs?”

“Terin?” I ask, mocking him.

He play shoves me. “You know I like you like a lot, right?”

I grin. “Who doesn’t like me a lot?!”

He stops grinning and his pretty green eyes scan my face. “Jaxson, I am serious…”

I let out a sigh. “I know. You said it twice now, and I like you too,” I tell him.

He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I just worry a lot about you. Please, can we make a pact that you will keep taking your medicine?”

I pull my hand back. “This is what this is about, it’s because I’m bipolar!” I say, sitting up.

He sits up as well. “NO! I don’t give a damn if you’re bipolar or schizophrenic! I have studied bipolar disorder for days, because when you’re on a manic high or low I want to be able to support you and comfort you! I like you, because you are snarky, cute, funny, caring, and you just say whatever pops into your mind. I don’t care about you being bipolar at all.”

“Really?” I ask.

He nods his head, “Yeah, I mean your mental illness is not a stigma. Everyone has it. You can talk to me about things. I want you to come to me about things.”

“Okay…I’ll take my medication and keep it, but only, if your dad hits you again, you will tell your uncle,” I say, putting my arms across my chest. I know he isn’t going to take this deal. I feel like a dick for saying that, but I want him to know I care, too.

“Deal,” he says, not even hesitating.

I stare at him. “You didn’t even think about it?”

“I didn’t have to,” he says, grabbing my hand again.

*Tyler*

Waking up, I instantly notice Jaxson isn’t by my side anymore. I look around the room. Getting off the bed, I check my phone, and there is a text from Ryder saying that he misses me. I reply back and tell him I miss him, too. I look around my room and pick up the few pieces of clothes that are on the floor.

After I toss them into the dirty laundry basket, I guess I should go check on Jaxson. I don’t know how he really is after everything. Hell, I hope he has gone back to sleep. I walk up to his door and listen. I don’t hear anything. I slowly open the door and I see him in bed, but it’s not only him. I see another boy in bed with him. My first instinct is to say something loud, but I don’t know who the other person is.

I walk to where Jaxson is laying, and I can clearly see the other boy’s face. He looks cute and innocent. I whisper Jaxson, but he doesn’t wake up. The other boy’s eyes flutter open, revealing these pale green eyes that get big as the moon when they see me. I can see the boy’s color drain from his face. I know I have a scowl on my face. I don’t mean to, but I don’t know who the hell he is.

The boy nudges Jaxson who finally starts to stir. “What?” Jaxson mutters without opening his eyes.

The boy nudges him again. “There’s someone looking at us,” he says, his voice cracking.

Jaxson’s eyes fly open and he bolts upright. “Tyler, what the hell, man!”

“What the hell? Who the hell is that?” I say, looking at the other boy.

“I think I should go,” the boy says, getting out of the bed, looking at Jaxson.

“No, you don’t have to,” Jaxson says, looking at him.

I look from Jaxson to the boy. “Someone want to tell me who the hell he is, and why he is in your bed?”

Jaxson rolls his eyes. “Fucking relax, Tyler.”

This actually pisses me of. “No, who the fuck are you?” I ask the boy.

I can tell I have scared him, because he’s backed up from the bed towards the wall. “I…I’m…I’m Terin. I’m….I’m with Jaxson,” he stutters out.

“Fucking let it go, Tyler! He’s my…he’s fine!” Jaxson yells, getting off the bed.

“He’s what? Your boyfriend?”

“Whatever…Terin, I think you should go. I will call you.”

Terin nods and starts to move around me. “No, I think he should stay if he’s going to be sleeping in your bed. I should at least know your boyfriend.”

Terin stops and looks more scared than ever. “I…I got to get going. Call me later, Jaxson.”

I gab his arm, and he flinches. Jaxson steps in and yanks my hand off Terin. “That’s enough, Tyler. Terin came to check on me, and I wanted to lay back down. He’s my boyfriend, okay?”

“How old are you?”

“Uhh…I’m fifteen, sir,” he says.

I can’t help but smile. “I am no sir, dude.”

He nods his head. “Okay.”

“Do y’all go to the same school?”

“Yes, Tyler, Jesus Christ! Stop the tough big brother act, okay?” Jaxson says, getting annoyed.

I laugh. “You did it to Ryder!”

He throws up his hands. “He deserved it!”

“How?”

Terin at this point looks a little more relaxed, but not by much. “Terin, it’s fine, dude, relax,” I tell him.

“Thanks, but I really should get going. I need to get home.”

Jaxson walks to him and gives him a hug, and Terin hugs him back. Jaxson leans in and whispers something, causing Terin to blush. “I guess I will see you around,” I tell him.

“Yeah, I think so,” he says, and leaves for the door. I look back at Jaxson with a look as if to ask, what the hell was that?

“What?” he asks, flopping down on his bed.

I look back to the door, and back at him. “That the boy that you are now all the way gay for?”

He shrugs his shoulder. “I don’t know what you are talking about.

“Stop the bullshit, Jaxson,” I say, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I am not on some bullshit, Tyler,” he says, grabbing his broken phone, looking at it.

I reach over and take his phone away, and he gives me a dirty look. “We need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what?” he says, acting innocent.

I take a deep breath. I hate when he does this crap. “Jaxson, you had a boy sleeping in your bed that no one in this house knows.”

“You had Ryder in your bed,” he counters.

I try not to lose my patience, “Ryder? That is bullshit. You know that was completely different. At least Kim knew who he was. We don’t know who this is. I guess I will just tell Kim,” I say, getting off the bed.

“Wait!” Jaxson yells and jumps off the bed to block me from leaving. “Maybe he is the one that made me realize I am gay…. No, we haven’t done anything. I got up and left your bed and I was laying on the couch and he knocked at the door. I was still tired and he just laid down with me. You saw we still had clothes on.”

“Okay… Well, why haven’t you told anyone about him?”

He lets out a sigh. “Because I didn’t want anyone to make a big deal out of it. I don’t even know why I like him.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not understanding what he is trying to say.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but he makes me calm, and happy. Like, when he’s around, I don’t know, he keeps me grounded.”

I just smile at him. “You have it bad.”

“SHUT UP!” Don’t we need to get ready for dinner soon?” he says, trying to change the subject.

“Why don’t you invite Terin?” I ask.

He looks at me. “Shut up!”

I throw my hands in the air. “What? I think it would be a good idea to get to know your new boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Jaxson growls.

I hear a knock and look up to see Jeremy at the door. “Hey guys, I tried knocking for ten minutes, but no one answered.”

“Hey dude,” I say, waving.

Jaxson turns around. “What are you doing here?”

Jeremy puts his hands up in surrender. “I see you are wound up. I just wanted to come by to explain my absence lately.”

“Well, spill it. I don’t have all day,” Jaxson says, crossing his arms.

Jeremy scratches his back. “Look, I know you are probably upset with me. I get that, man, but I haven’t been avoiding you intentionally. Truth is, life has been pretty hectic. I got a girl pregnant…and I have been working 40 hours at my job to get ready for this massive responsibility, and on top of it, I had to convince the girl to keep the baby, because she wanted to abort it. Finally, she agreed, and I had to sign paperwork that she would give sole custody to me, and that she would not have any responsibility for the baby,” he says, finally taking a breath.

I just stare at him. “Holy shit, dude.”

I look at Jaxson, and I can’t read his face. It’s a weird look. “Get out…” he says, his voice cracking.

Looking back to Jeremy, I can tell that hurt him. “Jaxson,” he says.

“NO! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! AND I HATE YOU TOO, TYLER!” Jaxson screams, and charges at Jeremy. Jeremy catches Jaxson’s fists and forces them to his side, and Jaxson struggles and yells. He finally relents, and Jeremy brings him into a hug.

“Let it all out,” Jeremy tells him and sinks to the floor with Jaxson in his lap.

“NO! I don’t want this!” he says, pushing away, and Jeremy lets him go. As soon as he does, Jaxson lays his head back on his chest. “You are going to forget about me just like Tyler is going to!” he says, his voice cracking.

“I am not going to forget about you, Jaxs.” Jeremy says rubbing his back. “Tyler isn’t going to, either. Why do you think that?”

“Tyler is moving out! He doesn’t have to, but he wants to. I know I’m the reason. I drive everyone away. I always end up abandoned by everyone who is supposed to love me!” he says, before he starts to cry harder.

I sit next to Jeremy. “Hey, bud. I am not going to forget you, man, I am just going to a college dorm. I will be home all the time.”

Jeremy says, “I am not going to abandon you, man. Yeah, you won’t see me as much, but I will always have time for you, Jaxs.” Jeremy’s still rubbing his back.

I feel guilty that Jaxson went off like this. I knew when I told him, it never sank in. I don’t know what’s made him so vulnerable lately, but I know it has to do with his parents. I don’t even know what to say. It guts me that I may have had this effect on him. I don’t know if I am selfish for wanting to move out.

We sit in silence, and Jaxson finally starts calming down. “Hey, I was wanting to know if you would ride with me to dinner tonight?” Jeremy asks Jaxson.

He shakes his head. “I still need to get dressed. Help me pick something out,” he mumbles.

“That okay with you?” Jeremy asks me.

“Yeah, that’s fine, man. I am going to go get dressed. I will text you directions to the place.”

*Ryder*

The whistle blows. “Okay, gentlemen, take a knee, helmets off,” Coach yells.

We all jog over to the center of the practice field where Coach is standing, his hat on low and sunglasses on his face. You can barely read his expression. I take off my helmet, shaking the sweat from my hair.

“Come on, gather round,” he says, telling us to get closer.

We all scoot up closer to him. “Gentlemen, you all stink, so get closer, damn.”

He gets a laugh from all of us. He cracks a quick smile, and it’s gone before I blink. I can’t help but have admiration for Coach. He looks calm and collected; he was literally born to be a coach. I haven’t told him, but I want to be just like him.

“Gentlemen, I cannot say how damn proud I am of you. We have come a long way from where we began. Here we are, two days away from the biggest game of all your lives. STATE! Let that sink in a minute, men. Seniors, this was your last time on this field, and come Friday night, it will be your last time suiting up. Whether we win or lose, as long as you go out there Friday night and give 110%, and leave everything on that field, then that is a damn win to me,” he says, looking over the team.

“Hell nah, Coach, we ain’t leaving that field till we get that WIN!” Garret yells, and a lot of the guys whoop and yell with him.

Coach smiles again. “Gentlemen, I am glad that’s what you want! Hell, I want it as well, but we can’t lose sight of what this is. It’s a game, and the second you forget that, then you have already lost. I want you to win, hell yes, I do! I also want you to go out there and have fun with the fact this is your last time on the field, seniors. Leave your legacy behind. Let the underclassmen know they have big shoes to fill, and damnit, get me another state title so they can write some trash article on me!” he says, smiling at the joke.

“We got you, Coach!” the guys yell, I can’t help but laugh along with them.

“Seniors, please keep a knee, and the quarterback. The rest of you are dismissed. Go shower, get rest, you all have a curfew tomorrow night. Do not let me show up to your house and you not be in bed at 8 pm sharp. I will make your life hell Monday!”

I stay put with the seniors, and watch the rest of the team jog off. Coach takes off his sunglasses and looks at every senior in the eyes. “I wanted to tell you all how proud I am. You let me come in, change things up, you didn’t fight me on it, and we lost our quarterback, but y’all accepted my son taking that position. I meant what I said - Friday is y’all’s last game. Have fun, and if you want that championship, it is yours for the taking. I also wanted you all to know this will also be my last high school football game.”

“Wait, what?” one of the linemen shouts.

He nods. “I know you have all heard the rumors and it’s true. I have taken the head football coach position at UT. Now with that out in the open, it’s not because I think I am too good for high school football. I love the game, but I have always wanted to be at UT, and they came to me with a good offer. Most of you don’t know me and my wife just adopted another boy. The kid has had a rough life, and with me taking this job, my wife can stay at home and take care of him. Men, if I have taught you anything, I hope it’s the value of family! Family is all you have in the end, the men to your left and right, those are your family, not your teammates. Family, and go into Friday night thinking that you are on the field with Family, and it’s going to be your last game. I promise you will step off as State Champions.”

I see Garret wiping tears away. “Coach, you really putting a curfew on us?” he asks.

He smirks. “You damn right, Son. I don’t play when it comes to state. I will stop by your house. Y’all’s mamas will let me in - they know how important this is. I have arranged for scouts to be at this game, gentlemen. That is my gift to you all. I have different scouts for each of you. If football is your dream, then go for it. Now, get your asses showered and go home. Me and the family have a dinner to catch.”

What happens next, I don’t think coach expects. Each of the seniors line up and hug him as they pass him. The last one is Garret. “Coach, I just wanted to thank you for everything,” he says, as he hugs him.

“Garret, Son, I have an option to support a student. If football is what you want, I would like to offer you that.”

Garret snaps his head up. “Coach, really?”

“Yes, boy. It was part of the offer. I know how much this game means to you, and I know how much your family means to you. I want to make sure you get a fair shot at life.”

Garret hugs him again. “Thank you so much, Coach. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Just say thank you, and get your ass in the shower.” Garret thanks him again, and jogs off the field.

“That was really nice, Dad,” I say, walking next to him.

He pulls me into a side hug as we walk. “Everyone deserves a chance at their dream, Son. I really hope there is steak on the menu tonight!” he says.

I laugh. “So what about Jeremy, what happens with him?”

Dad looks over at me. “What do you mean?”

“How is he going to pay for school, and be a dad?” I ask.

“He doesn’t know it, but he’s got a full ride scholarship coming from UT. Son, I know you worry about Jeremy, and I know he is scared, but when have your mother or myself ever let any of you boys need anything?”

“Never.”

“I am not going to start letting you need anything now. Besides, your mother is looking forward to having a newborn around the house.

“Now go shower, boy, we have a dinner with your boyfriend. Your mother is already calling me telling me to hurry up!” he says, pushing me forward.

It didn’t take me long to rinse off and put on the jeans and polo shirt my mom brought up for us. I was tying my shoe when Devin, who is in my grade and on the JV team, approaches me. “Hey Ryder.”

I look up, “Hey Devin, what’s up?”

“You know who I am?” he asks, and blushes.

I get up from the bench and straighten out my jeans. “Of course I know who you are. You are a really good receiver,” I say.

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, man, I’ve watched your team practice with Coach. Plus, you yourself have the most touchdowns of anyone on the JV team.”

I know I have embarrassed him; he breaks eye contact with me. “Thanks, I mean, you are really good, too. I just wanted to wish you good luck at state.”

“Thanks, man, but you know you are going to be there as well, right?”

He nods his head. “Yeah, but I won’t see any game time. I mean, none of the JV team will. It’s really cool that we get to suit up and go on the field with y’all.”

I extend my hand and he shakes my hand. “Dude, you never know, man. Anything could happen. I mean, I was not expecting to be the QB for varsity, but here I am.”

“I wish, umm…” he stops himself.

I give him a confused look. “What’s up?”

“Well…um, do you think, maybe when football is over, that you could help me train? I want to get better, but it’s kind of just me and my mom at home. Most of my friends don’t even like football.”

I smile. Hopefully, it will ease his nerves. “Yeah, man, I wouldn’t mind showing you some pointers.”

“Really awesome!” He looks at his phone. “Well, my mom is here. I will see you in history tomorrow!”

I watch as Devin skips out of the locker room, and Coach pops around the corner. “Boy, you ready?”

“Yeah, I thought you were going super casual.” Poking fun at him because he is in jeans and a polo, as well.

He rolls his eyes. “Shut it, wise guy. I wanted to, but your mother insisted I dress nice.”

Coach tosses me the key as he throws our stuff in his SUV. I lock up the locker room, and jump into the car with him. “So, I see the initial reaction of Wilder has passed with you.”

I pop my knuckles. “Yeah, he is a good kid. He’s scared of virtually everything about life.”

“Stop popping your knuckles, Ryder, Yeah he has a long way to go. I am starting to see his personality come out more and more. Sometimes he doesn’t stop talking. He is a very curious person.”

I sit on my hands to keep from fidgeting with them. It’s not that dad makes me nervous, it’s the fact I hate not knowing why we are going to dinner, and I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around Jeremy getting someone pregnant. “He does like to talk and ask questions. I don’t think he was allowed to talk when he was with his parents.”

Dad shakes his head. “No he wasn’t able to do much. From what I know, they kept him in a room for most of his time. We have our work cut out for us. We are searching for a speech pathologist right now.”

I look over, confused. “What’s that for?”

“Have you noticed he has a hard time putting together words?”

“Yes sir.”

“He wants to revert back to his native language, but he’s been in the United States for some time, and has a difficult time with English.”

I feel dumb, because thinking back on the times I have had conversations with Wilder, his speech lacked a lot, I just put together everything. I don’t know why I didn’t notice him pointing to things when he couldn’t say the words and how longer words he couldn’t pronounce. He kept to simple words, and he would get frustrated trying to communicate what he wanted to say. “I get that. I mean, I thought it was just he has a very thick accent.”

“Yeah, his accent is extremely thick as well, we aren’t saying he can’t communicate in English, because he can, just, when he comes across words with more than two syllables, he shuts down.”

I think about what he is saying, I guess that makes sense. I know I had a hard time when I was first adjusting to everything, I would revert back to Russian. I guess it’s because it’s just so much easier to do something that makes you comfortable since everything around you is changing. I obviously don’t say any of this to my dad.

We don’t say much for a few minutes. It’s not one of those uncomfortable silences - it’s more of a peaceful one. I look over at my dad and I smile, and he smiles back at me.

“Son, I know you are nervous about state Friday.”

“Nervous? Dad, it doesn’t even begin to explain it! I feel like I am going to puke when I think about it!”

Dad reaches over and squeezes my shoulder. “Son, it’s another football game. Win or lose, you go have fun. I won’t be upset, hell, I am just glad I was able to coach you when you got to state.”

“You won’t care if we win or lose?”

He shakes his head. “Not at all. Its says something that y’all made it all the way to state.”

“Thanks, Dad. I am glad that we got to go to state with you as the coach. Speaking of state, can I stay with Tyler after the game?”

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” he says.

I let out a breath, because I thought it was going to be an argument, but he said yes. I look out the window to try and hide my huge grin.

We finally pull up to the restaurant, and I can see Mom and Wilder getting out of her car. I get out of the car and Wilder runs to me, wrapping his arms around me. “What are we here for?”

“We are going to eat, dude. How was school?”

He finally lets go of me, and shrugs his shoulder. “Still hate it.”

I laugh, and look over to see Jeremy and Jaxson get out of his jeep. “Hey!” Jeremy says, shutting his door.

“What’s up?”

“Sup Ryder??” Jaxson says, walking next to Jeremy.

“Hey Jaxs.”

Jeremy walks over and hugs me, and goes to hug Wilder, but Wilder moves behind me and gives Jeremy a dirty look. “What’s wrong, dude?”

Wilder hides behind me more. “He’s here?” he says, and points to Jaxson.

It hits me, he does not like Jaxson at all. “He isn’t the biggest fan of Jaxson,” I tell Jeremy, trying not to laugh.

“Wilder, you don’t like Jaxson?” Jeremy asks, squatting down to Wilder’s height

He shakes his head, and Jaxson gets closer. “Wait, you don’t like me?” he asks.

“No,” Wilder says.

“Why not?” Jaxson asks in disbelief, and it almost looks like this hurts him. You can see it in his eyes. They look sad.

“You talk too much, and are mean,” Wilder says, still hiding behind me.

Jaxson backs up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was mean to you.”

Wilder moves to the other side of me, and Jeremy leads Jaxson to the sidewalk, and right then, Tyler comes out of the building. “Hey, guys come on in.”

I walk to Tyler with Wilder right behind me. “Hey!” I say, hugging him.

“Hey you,” he says, hugging me back and kissing the top of my head. “What’s up, Wild, man?” Tyler asks.

Wilder shrugs his shoulder, and Tyler ruffles his hair. We follow him into the restaurant. I watch as our parents greet each other, and take their seats. I sit next to Tyler, and Wilder sits on the other side of me, grabbing my shirt with his left hand.

“How was school?” Tyler asks.

“It was okay, how was your day?” I ask.

“It was long. I have been waiting all day to see you, I stayed home with Jaxson, who finally went to sleep this morning after being up for a few days.”

“That bad, huh?”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, he was pretty intense, but I finally got him to take a nap.”

“He looks pretty happy right now,” I say, looking over at Jaxson, who is being really animated talking to my mom.

Tyler leans into me. “He has a boyfriend, and he just came out to me today.”

I lean back and give him a surprised look. “Wait, he’s got a boyfriend, and came out as gay?” I whisper back, to make sure I heard him correctly.

He nods his head. “Oh yeah.”

“Wait, how do you know he has a boyfriend?”

He laughs. “I caught them. He left my bed, and when I woke up, I found him and his boyfriend in his bed.”

“Holy crap! What happened?” I ask, ‘cause I never thought Jaxson would even invite a boyfriend over.

Tyler grins. “I played the macho big brother. I scared that kid so bad, I thought he was going to pass out. Jaxson got pissy, of course. His boyfriend is so cute.”

“Aww, I wished I could have met him,” I say.

Tyler looks behind him. “Oh, you are going to. Here he comes.”

Jaxson stops talking as he spots Terin, and he snaps his head to Tyler. “What the fuck did you do?”

This causes Kim to scold him, “Jaxson! Langauge!”

The cute boy comes and smiles shyly at everyone and waves. “Hi.”

“When did you get here?” Jaxson asks.

“He came with me, he was in the bathroom,” Tyler says.

I look the kid over. He is paler than any of us, and his cheeks are cherry red from all the attention. He is wearing wind pants and a long sleeve white shirt. “You can sit next to Jaxson,” I say, startling him.

He makes his way to the other side of the table and sits across from me. “I’m Ryder, this is Wilder, that’s Jeremy to your left, and those are my parents,” I introduce him to everyone.

“I’m Terin…I’m um…” He looks over at Jaxson, who is still giving Tyler a death stare, and Tyler kicks him.

“This is Terin, my boyfriend,” Jaxson says, looking down at the table.

“Aww, you two are cute,” my mom chimes in.

Tyler grabs my hand. “You are going to get it from him,” I tell him.

“He will get over it. He needs to get it out in the open. Look at him, he can’t stop smiling.”

I look over at Jaxson, and he is trying to contain his smile, as Terin talks to the adults. “That’s his?” Wilder asks.

“Yeah, like Tyler is my boyfriend. That’s Jaxson’s.”

He furrows his brows. “Will you be ok, if I don’t have one?”

I let out a laugh. “Of course, it will be fine!” I tell him.

I don’t think he believes me ‘cause he won’t stop staring. “Wilder, it’s totally fine if you are straight. Jeremy is, and we love him.”

“I want one,” he says, crossing his arms.

“A girlfriend?” I ask, looking at him.

He nods, and I can see him start to blush. I smile. “You have a crush on someone?”

“Yeah….”

I turn my body to face him more. “Have you talked to her?”

He shakes his head. “No, but she said I talked funny, and she liked it.”

“Dude, sounds like she may like you!” Tyler says, leaning over me.

I look to Jeremy, who is watching Jaxson and Terin. I miss having Jeremy around all the time. I am still trying to process that he is actually going to have a kid. I look over at my boyfriend, who takes my hand and squeezes it. “I missed you!” I say.

“I thought today would never end. Are you excited about the game?”

I bite my lip. I really don’t want to talk about the game, but I know it’s going to happen. “Yeah, I mean, I am ready as I am going to be. So what are we doing here?”

Tyler looks up to Kim, and she taps the glass with her knife. “Well, we wanted everyone gathered that has a part in our lives. Tyler has some amazing news!”

I look at him and he smiles. “Well, I applied for early admission to UT…I got accepted, and I will be graduating early this year!”

Everyone congratulates him. “Babe, that is so awesome!” I tell him and kiss him on the cheek. I look at him and he is beaming, I am so proud of him. I had no idea that he wanted to graduate early.

Dinner is going good, we laugh and joke around. It’s nice to see both of our families interacting so well. Even Wilder takes to Terin, talking to him. He still doesn’t budge on being friendly with Jaxson, but he really does warm up to Terin, which shocks me. He even asks Jeremy to switch seats with him so he can sit next to Terin.

Once Jeremy and Wilder switch seats, I can see how tired Jeremy actually is. “You okay?”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, just exhausted, man. I have a test tomorrow and then we have the game. My job gave me the weekend off, but I may pick up a shift on Sunday,” he tells me, checking his phone.

Tyler leans over. “So what are you hoping for, a boy or a girl?”

Jeremy thinks about this for a second, and I notice the other boys stop talking to listen to his answer. “Well, I actually hope it’s a little girl. There are too many stinky boys in the house already!” he says, wrinkling his nose at Wilder, who sticks his tongue out in response.

The dinner is finally coming to an end, and it seems like Dan and my dad get along well, Mom is talking about making plans to go get her nails done with Mrs. Kim before the game. I grab Tyler’s hand and he kisses it.

 

 

*Tyler*

I kiss Ryder’s hand multiple times, I have missed him so much. Everyone finally gets up from their seats. “Can I ride to take Terin home?” Jaxson asks.

“Actually, baby, I want you to ride with me.” Kim steps in.

“Mom!” Jaxson protests.

“Jaxson, look at the time. You still need to take your medicine and shower,” she says.

“Jaxs, it’s fine. I promise, I will text you when I get home.”

Jaxson rolls his eyes. “I don’t have a phone.”

“Wait, why not?” Kim asks.

“It broke,” Jaxson says.

“That’s the third phone that’s “broke,” Jaxson.”

“It’s fine, Kim, I have an old one he can use,” I say.

See looks at him and Jaxson tries not to grin, but fails miserably. “Say goodbye, Jaxson, we will have a long conversation about your phones breaking non-stop.”

I walk away towards Ryder to let Jaxson say goodbye. “Hey, Coach. Would y’all mind if I drop Ryder off tonight?”

Coach puts his hand on my shoulder. “First, congrats Son, damn good job. But no, Ryder is going home with Jeremy, because I impose a curfew on all football players until the game. I’m sorry, Son, but you are more than welcome to come over tomorrow after school.”

I can’t say I’m not disappointed because I am. “Yes sir. I am just going to say goodbye to him.”

I find Ryder outside with Jeremy and Wilder. “Hey,” he says, as I approach them.

He jogs over and hugs me, so I hug him back. “I tried to get your dad to let me bring you home, but he said no.”

“Yeah, he has us all under curfew. I wish I could ride with you,” he says.

I break the hug so I can kiss him, his soft lips against mine. I have missed the feel of them. “Fuck, I have missed you.”

“Ehmm.” Jeremy clears his throat. “Come on, Ryder, kiss your boyfriend one last time, we need to get going.”

Ryder smiles and kisses me one more time. “Night, babe.”

“Night, babe,” I say, and sneak in one last kiss. He turns to walk away and I smack him on the butt. He turns around all bright red in the face and I laugh.

I turn around and find Terin standing behind me. “Whoa, man, scared the crap out of me.”

“Sorry,” he says, not looking me in the face.

“You okay, man?” I ask as we walk to the car.

He doesn’t say much as we get into the car. I make sure he buckles up before I take off. I look over at him - he is really skinny and he is looking out the window. “Hey, Terin, are you ok?”

“Yeah, sorry. Just, I am really full,” he says with a cheeky smile.

I laugh. “Yeah, you really inhaled your food, man.”

His smile disappears and I see his cheeks heat up. “I’m sorry.”

“Dude, it’s fine, man, you don’t have to keep saying sorry. As long as you enjoyed it, that’s all that really matters.”

“Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer or anything,” he says.

“Ask away, man.”

He hesitates for a few seconds. “How did you get my number?”

I laugh. “I got it from Jaxson. He keeps a piece of paper with the people he talks to a lot, because he is forever breaking his phones, and I figured you would want to spend a bit more time with him. Besides, you keep him relaxed when you are around.”

“Really? You think he really likes me?”

I look at him, ttrying to understand what he doesn’t get. “Jaxson is totally infatuated with you. Do you like him a lot?”

He perks up after hearing this. “Yeah, I really do like him. He’s so cute, funny, makes me laugh, and I don’t know, he cares so much. He is just, I don’t know, he makes everything seem good.”

“We talking about the same Jaxson?” I ask, joking.

“Yes, you know he can’t help his mental illness,” he says defensively.

“Whoa man, relax. I was joking with you.”

His shoulders sag, and I know he feels bad. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I am really sorry.”

“Terin, stop saying sorry all the time. Jesus, man, it’s not a big deal. I am glad you really like Jaxson. That is the only reason I invited you tonight, because I know you mean a lot to him.”

The silence resumes in the car, aside from the occasional chatter from my phone telling me where to turn next. “Do you love your boyfriend?” Terin asks.

It stuns me for a second. “Yeah, I really do love Ryder. I hope that we are together for a lifetime.”

He doesn’t say anything else. Until I pull up to his house. There aren’t any lights on in the house. “No one home?”

He looks towards the house, and I swear he breathes out a sigh of relief. “No, I guess my dad is working late tonight. I can give the money to Jaxson for my dinner. I’m sorry I didn’t have it on me.”

“Dude, you don’t have to pay me for dinner. It was our treat.”

“Oh, thank you. I guess I better get inside,” he says awkwardly.

I pat him on the shoulder, and he winces. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

He laughs, “I was juggling my bag and a glass of milk, and I tripped on my shoelaces and ran into a wall. I didn’t want to break the glass of milk.”

I laugh, “So you are clumsy?”

Terin smiles and nods his head. “So can I ask a personal question?”

“Yeah, man, shoot for it.”

He hesitates. “Umm…have you and Ryder…like…done it?”

This kind of takes me by surprise. “You mean are we sexual, or have we had sex?”

“Both,” he asks.

I try to think about how I am going to answer to him. I didn’t think it would be this personal. “Yes, Ryder and I are sexually active. No, we have not had full on sex. Terin, I really hope you and Jaxson aren’t considering having penetration so soon.”

He puts his hands up, “No! I mean, I was just wanting to know in case one day if I could ask advice…I mean, I don’t have anyone to ask.”

I cock my head to the side. “Terin, you aren’t out to your parents, are you?”

“No…” he whispers.

I almost pat his shoulder again, but I remember how much it hurt last time, “Well, you can always come to the hang out. Kim runs it, and it’s a safe place for LGBT kids. If you need a ride, just let me know.”

He looks up at me. “Really?”

“Yeah, man. I go, Ryder does sometimes, and you can meet a bunch of other kids. Plus, Jaxson is always there,” I tell him.

“Okay, yeah, I would like to go!”

“Okay, man, I will let you know when the next meeting for the hangout is.”

“Awesome! Well, I am going to go in, I need to shower and get to bed. Thanks again for tonight!”

I wait until he gets into the house, and I text Ryder. “You still up?”

I barely put down my phone, and he is calling me.

I hit the Bluetooth button and answer the call. “Hey, babe.”

“Hey,” he says. I can hear the sleepiness in his voice.

“You laying down?” I ask.

“Mmhmm…wish you were here. I have a problem,” he says, giggling.

I put the car in drive and head home. “You naughty boy, stop that!” I laugh.

“I’m naked, you could sneak over like you did before,” he says.

I take a deep breath. “As much as I want to, you need to get some rest. Besides, we are going to have all Friday night together.”

He groans. “You are no fun tonight! Babe, can I ask why you didn’t tell me about getting into college?”

“I just found out this morning, and Kim kind of took over,” I say.

He doesn’t say anything for awhile. “Are me and you going to be okay?”

“YES! Why wouldn’t we be?” I ask.

“Tyler, I’ll still be in high school, you’ll be in college. There will be more guys for you. You could probably find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage as me.”

“Ryder!”

“What…” he says.

I let out a sigh. “Shut up! I love you, okay? Your baggage is my baggage, with some more suitcases to add to it ‘cause of my issues. Yeah, I am going to see a lot more guys, but I am with you, end of story. Plus, I plan to eventually get my own apartment, and you can come over anytime you want.”

“I just don’t want to hold you back,” he says.

“I just want to hold you,” I counter.

He laughs. “You are such a dork…so what do you think of Jaxson’s boyfriend?”

“He is a sweet kid, and adorable. I just hope that those two don’t hurt each other.”

“I don’t think they will,” Ryder says.

“Why?”

I hear him shuffling. “Cause the way that boy looked at Jaxson, you could tell he really likes him. Plus, Jaxson was completely different.”

“Yeah, you are probably right.” I say. I keep driving, and I can hear his breathing. I know he’s fallen asleep talking to me, he’s been doing that a lot this last week. He will call me and he is exhausted, but he will stay on the phone until he falls asleep. “Babe! Ryder! Wake up!”

“Hmmm...yeah…” he mumbles.

“Babe, go to bed. I will see you Friday. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” he says.

I finally pull into the driveway and turn the car off. I cannot wait to see him play Friday night. I really want them to win state, plus I am ready to hold him in my arms after the game. I get out of the car and head into the house. Everyone is already in their beds. I head to my room to get some sleep as well.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ryder gets sacked again, and I swear I see Coach turn purple on the sidelines. The score has been close all night. Sadly, our team is losing by one touchdown, and it’s the fourth quarter with one minute left. “What do you think Coach is gonna do?” I ask Mrs. Kessler.

“All they need is a touchdown, and an extra point kick, and he will put them into overtime,” she says.

I am on the edge of the bleacher, this game has been so intense. Ryder has taken a ton of hits, and so has Jeremy. Garret has managed to avoid any hits, but they are keeping him covered.

Ryder hikes the ball again, and as soon as he has it in his possession, the guard breaks through the line, and Ryder tries to scramble, but he is sacked again. I see Coach throw his clip board on the ground. Ryder hits the ground with his fist.

The crowd is silent as they form a huddle. I wish I could hear what he is saying. Ryder breaks the huddle, and they are barely in place when he calls for the ball. The defensive line isn’t expecting it, and it leaves Jeremy wide open. As Ryder throws the ball, it is a perfect spiral and hits Jeremy directly in the chest, and he runs it smoothly into the end zone.

The bleachers are erupting with cheers, and Wilder is even hollering as well. It’s cold out, so I pull my jacket closer to me while the crowd starts to sit back down again. Kim and Jaxson had to leave at the beginning of this quarter to get on the road.

Mrs. Kessler was right. Coach is calling for a field goal. The kicker runs onto the field to the huddle; the clock is still ticking, ten seconds are left. They get in the kicking formation, the whole crowd is so quiet you could drop a tack on the bleachers and could hear it. Ryder yells and people start to shift. “Mrs. K, what’s going on? Ryder isn’t the kicker?”

“Oh, my god! He isn’t going for the kick, he’s going for the two points!” Mrs. K says with a smile. I can see Coach pacing, wondering what the hell is going on.

Sure enough, Ryder hikes the ball, and again the defense is left scrambling to get into a different formation, but what happens next is insane. The receivers join the line and blow a whole right into the defense and Ryder runs right into the end zone!

I watch as the clock runs out and the crowed erupts in cheers. I look over at Mrs. K, and she is crying and clapping. I didn’t realize I was on my feet as well hollering as well. I watch all the players gather round slapping and hugging each other. I see Ryder take off his helmet, and his sweaty hair is matted to his forehead and he looks right up at me and smiles.

“Come on, let’s go down there!” Mrs. K says, patting my arm.

Wilder grabs my hand. “What’s wrong, bud?”

“Too much people moving,” he says, squeezing my hand.

“Just hold my hand. I got you,” I tell him.

I see Mrs. K reach down for Wilder’s hand, but she sees I already have one. She smiles and leads the way down the steps. “Can we really go on the field?”

“Yes, this is about the only time they allow it.”

I follow Mrs. K out to the field where she runs up to Coach and hugs him. “Congratulations, honey.”

“Thank you, babe, but it’s all them,” he says, pointing to the team.

Standing back with Wilder, I watch as the team lines up to shake the other players’ hands. I don’t know if Ryder really wants me down here. I can’t lie and say that I’m not nervous, because last time we did this, he didn’t want to come out to the team. The team runs over to their family members that have made their way onto the field. Jeremy runs up to Mrs. K and hugs her, and Ryder runs up to Coach and hugs him.

I watch him as he keeps looking around and finally finds me. He takes off his helmet and sets it on the bench, undoes his shoulder pads and sets them by his helmet, and jogs over to me. “Hey,” he says as he reaches me.

“Hey,” I say back, smiling. He looks so cute in his tight fitting undershirt, and his sweaty hair matted down, and of course the dirty football pants just make him look perfect.

He bites his lip, and moves closer to me, and kisses me softly. I wrap my arms around him. “Damn,” he says, breaking the kiss.

“You taste like salt,” I say, giving him a quick peck.

He laughs. “I just played the toughest game of my life!”

“Congrats, babe, my state champ,” I say.

“You done?” asks Wilder.

“Yeah, I am done. You want to kiss him?” I tease.

Wilder shoots me a dirty look. “You’re weird.”

Wilder hugs Ryder. “Did you like the game?” Ryder asks.

“Yeah. I really did, who knows I might actually be a huge fan of football now!” I say hugging him.

“Hey, babe, I am going to go rinse off and change, and I’ll be ready,” Ryder tells me, smelling himself and making a face.

“I’ll be waiting,” I tell him. I watch as he and Wilder walk over to Coach to pick up his football gear. Mrs. K walks back over after a few minutes.

We watch them file into the locker room. “Wait where is Wilder?” I ask.

“He went in with Coach.” Mrs. K says.

I feel a little awkward standing with her waiting on them. I mean I don’t know what to say, considering me and Ryder have a plan to go have sex after this. I mean, it’s not exactly something you bring up to his mom. I grin at the thought of me and Ryder tonight.

“So Tyler, are you nervous about starting college so soon?” Mrs. K asks.

“Honestly? A little, yes. I still cannot believe I was accepted early.”

“What are you wanting to study?” she asks, looking over at me.

I blush, I haven’t really told anyone. I have bounced back and forth between a few things. “I haven’t told anyone, but I kind of want to be a doctor. The thought of actually helping someone, and being able to make a difference just really appeals to me.”

She pulls me into a side hug. “I think you would be a fantastic doctor. I am really glad you and my son are together. You are both such great boys.”

I blush. “Thank, Mrs. K.”

“They are about to come out, you two be safe tonight, use protection,” she says, looking me in the eye.

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, so I close it. I know I am blushing - I can feel my skin on fire. “Uh…”

Mrs. K laughs, “Tyler, it’s fine. We knew you and Ryder would be sexually active sooner than later. Just want you boys to be careful with each other. You both have fragile hearts, and make sure you two are really both ready to take the next step in your relationship.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I say, kicking the dirt with the toe of my shoe.

“Sweetie, go warm up your car. I will send Ryder your way when he comes out. Oh, you boys need to be at the house by noon tomorrow. We are having the team over,” she says.

I agree, because he will be cold, since it is chilly out here. I still can’t believe she knew what we were going to do tonight, but it’s kind of funny now that I’m not standing next to her. I get to the car and turn it on, and I feel butterflies start floating in my stomach. I spent most of today making sure everything was perfect tonight. I even baked chicken spaghetti for Ryder since I know he will be starving. I also did some trimming today - I left a little bit, but really trimmed. I also got condoms and a big thing of lube. I read up a lot on first time intercourse, and I read it could be painful, especially with people who have been well blessed. I don’t want Ryder to get hurt at all.

 

*Ryder*

I come out of the locker rooms, and see my mom. I jog over to her, and give her a huge hug. “Hey sweetie,” she says.

“Well, what did you think of the game?” I ask.

“Well, you tell me, Mr. State Champ!” she says.

I shrug my shoulders. “We did good. It was a tough game, and they were just as good. Hey, where is Tyler?” I ask, looking around.

“He went to warm up the car, considering you are in nothing but your Under Armour shirt and compression shorts!” she says.

“Mom! I know, I just am too hyped up. I mean, we just won state!” I say.

She gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Go on. I am sure he is waiting on you.”

“Wait, my bag!” I say.

She laughs, “I gave it to Tyler when we parked.”

“Ohhhh, okay. Love you! Tell Dad I love him, too!” I say, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

I start to jog, but then I jog back. “Wait, where is he parked?”

Mom is laughing by now. “My god, I am so glad you are sleeping at Tyler’s. You are too hyper tonight. He is parked in lot B.”

I wave to her, and start jogging towards lot B. I am really excited about tonight, but also nervous. I hope he still likes me when we do it tonight. I shaved completely last night, I want to actually have a real shower since I just rinsed off and got dressed.

I spot the SUV a few rows back. He doesn’t even see me as I approach the passenger door and knock on the window. He jumps and unlocks the door. I open the door and get in. “Hey!” I say.

His smile is so massive. “Hey State Champ,” he says, and leans over and kisses me.

He pushes my hair out of my face. “Well, what did you think of the game?” I ask.

“It was amazing, you were amazing. It was a tough game.”

“It really was, the other team was good. I don’t think they expected me to go for the two points at the end of the game,” I tell him, getting excited about how I scored the last points.

“How did your dad feel about that?” he asks, as he starts the SUV.

I laugh. “He said it was risky, but he’s glad I did what I needed to do.”

“I looked at your mom, and I was like, Ryder isn’t the kicker! She knew what you were up to.”

I massage my shoulder; one of the hits I took really jarred me. “I missed you,” I tell him.

He smiles, and grabs my hand with his free hand, his other securely on the steering wheel. “So your mom kind of knew what we had planned for tonight.”

“What?”

He laughs. “Yeah, she um…told me that we needed to be careful and use protection.”

I put my face in my hands, “Oh my god. I am so sorry. I know that must have been super embarrassing.”

“It really was, but she dropped it after that. I’m kind of nervous,” he says.

I look at him. “Wait, about us having sex?”

He nods his head. “Yeah, I mean, what if neither of us is ready for it?”

I turn my body more towards him. “Tyler, are you not wanting to have sex with me?”

He sighs. “No, I totally want to, but what if I hurt you?”

I laugh. “Tyler, you have a monster between your legs. It’s gonna hurt. I mean, I have a sore jaw when I give you a blowjob.”

“I…I didn’t know...that your jaw..”

I cut him off, “Ty, it’s fine. I like doing that, besides, I am not complaining about the monster between your legs,” I tell him and reach over and grab his crotch.

“Ryder!”

“What?” I ask, trying to sound innocent.

He tries to move my hand, but I bat his away. I can feel him growing hard. “Ryder!”

“What, you don’t like me massaging you?” I ask, trying not to laugh.

“No, I mean, yeah…just, I am driving.”

I lean over the armrest and undo the button and zipper on his jeans, and I tell him to relax as I grab his growing cock out of his boxers. “What are you doing, Ryder?”

“I said relax,” I say, and spit on my hand and grab his cock. I start sliding my hand up and down his shaft. I know he likes it, he is trying not to make a sound. “Concentrate on the road,” I tell him.

“This is dangerous!”

“So is riding a motorcycle,” I say, and lean over and take his cock into my mouth.

I can smell his scent, a little musty, but mostly soap, and I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock. I lick the slit on the head and he lets out a yelp. “That feels so good,” he moans out.

I work on his cock, rotating between sucks, and jerking him off. I hate that I have hardly any mobility at all in the SUV. I feel him take a turn and we start slowing down, I come up and see that we pulled into his driveway.

I look at him and he grabs me by my hair, crushing my lips with his. It’s a hard, passionate kiss. He nibbles at my lip and I let out a yelp. “Let’s go in now,” he says, breaking the kiss.

“Uh huh,” I manage to reply. I have no idea why, but that kiss set my whole body on fire. I am so hard, I think I am going to cum in my shorts.

I get out of the SUV and grab my bag from the back seat and follow him into the house. He locks the door and I drop my bag next to the couch. I don’t even have time to turn around, and he’s kissing the back of my neck.

I turn around, and he grabs the bottom of my shirt and I help him pull it off. He takes his shirt off as well; as he is pulling it over his head, I undo the button on his jeans and they slide right off. His cock is still hanging outside of his boxers, and I take it in my hand, giving it a few tugs. He shoves his boxers down, and he is naked if front of me. I can’t help but get a good look at him - he is slim with some muscle definition and just hot. I kiss him, and he picks me up. Wrapping my legs around his bare waist, he carries me to his room, as he does this we don’t break our kiss. As we enter his room, he flips on the light and carries me over to the bed and puts me down.

He looks at me, and I can’t help but feel self-conscious. “What?”

He shakes his head. “You are just so beautiful.” He leans down and kisses me again.

I break the kiss. “I need you in me,” I beg him.

“Are you positive about this?”

I give him a pouty look. “I NEED this.”

He grabs my compression shorts and pulls them off and my dick springs up. He walks over to his side table and grabs a bag, puts it on the bed, and pulls out a bottle of lube. He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and spreads my legs open. I feel completely exposed, and I have to concentrate on my breathing so I don’t have a panic attack. He gets in-between my legs, and looks at me. “Ryder?”

“Yeah?” I say.

He rubs the inside of my thigh. “We don’t have to do this.”

“No, it’s fine. I want to do this.” I tell him, reaching for his hand.

“Are you sure? Your breathing changed,” he tells me.

I put my face in my hands. “I got scared because I felt exposed…and I was trying not to have a panic attack.”

He gets up off the floor and onto the bed next to me, and pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me. “Ryder, you aren’t ready for this,” he says, kissing the top of my head.

“I know you wanted this, and I thought I was ready,” I say, tearing up.

He hugs me tighter, “Yeah, I want to have sex with you. I mean, anyone who doesn’t is out of their mind, but babe, your emotional state is way more important. Besides, penetration is just one way to have sex. I am okay doing what we have been doing until you are completely comfortable with moving forward on your terms.

“No, I want to do this, I just need to realize that you aren’t going to hurt me!” I tell him, pushing him away.

“Ryder…”
“Tyler! I want to have sex! Okay? I just had to ground myself that you aren’t going to hurt me!” I tell him, getting louder.

He puts his hands up. “Okay babe, but if it’s too much, tell me to stop.”

“Oh, I will.”

He doesn’t spread my legs like he did, instead he starts kissing down my stomach, which tickles; he trails the kisses down my thighs and he slowly makes his way back between my legs. He stops and looks up at me, and I nod that I am okay.

He takes my cock into his mouth and starts to suck. I feel heat sweep through my body, let out a moan, and grab his hair as he bobs up and down on my cock. “That feels amazing,” I let out.

I hear him open the cap of the lube, and I feel something cold touch my butt, and I clench. “Ryder, you gotta relax,” he says.

“It was cold!” I say, laughing.

I unclench, and he goes back to work on my cock, sucking it. I feel pressure at my hole, and I feel a finger slip in. I don’t know how to feel about it. It feels weird and he moves it in and out. I focus on him sucking on my cock.

He lets my cock slip out of his mouth and he licks the shaft and starts to jerk me off. I feel the pressure of a second finger at my hole, and I don’t clench, even though I want to. I let out a little moan as his second finger enters me. He doesn’t move them just yet. “I am going to let you adjust first.”

I nod, as he starts to flick his tongue on the head of my cock sending chills through me. He starts to move his fingers in and out and it hurts, and I clench. “Ryder, you have to relax, holy shit, you’re tight.”

“Sorry, just, it was a little painful.”

He pulls out his fingers, and I feel weirdly empty. I see him put more lube on them, and they are back at my hole. I take a deep breath and relax as they enter me. He starts to move them more, and it doesn’t hurt as bad, but I don’t know if I like it. He keeps the pace and gradually increases, but all of a sudden he hits a spot and I throw my head back and moan.

“Are you okay?”

“Mmm, hit that spot again, please!” I moan out.

He listens and hits the spot again, and again. Oh my god, I have never felt anything like this. I can’t stop making noise. “Suck my cock and hit that spot!”

He laughs, and takes my cock into his mouth and keeps fingering me. He keeps hitting that spot and I feel myself about to cum. “Oh my god, Tyler, I am gonna cum,” I tell him.

He keeps sucking me, and hits the spot harder. I grab his head and keep him in place as I start to cum. I let out a loud yelp, and feel like my balls are going to suck into my body. I look at Tyler and he is swallowing every drop that I am cumming.

He finally lets my cock out of his mouth, and it flops onto my lower stomach. “Oh my god,” I pant.

“Did you like that?” he says, smiling.

I nod my head. “That was the most intense orgasm ever.”

“I know your whole body shuddered, and I thought you were gonna break my fingers, how tight you got,” he says.

“I want you in me,” I say, panting.

He pulls his fingers out, and stands up; his cock is standing at full attention. It’s massive looking, but I want him in me so bad. “Scoot up,” he tells me.

I scoot up, and he gets on the bed between my legs still. He grabs the lube off the floor and applies more to my hole. He reaches for the bag and pulls out a condom. “No!” I tell him.

“But Ryder…”

“I don’t want to use one,” I tell him.

“Okay...” he says, and tosses the condom off the bed.

I watch him as he lubes up his cock, and puts more lube on my hole. He leans in between my legs, and he tells me he’s going to put the head in. I can feel it at my hole, and the pressure is weird. I want to clench, but I stop myself. He puts a little more pressure and it pops inside me. “Oh my god,” I yelp.

“Breathe, babe, I am not going to move,” he says, leaning down and kissing me. “Just let me know when I can move.”

I nod, and he pushes into me more, and I put a hand on his chest and he stops. Letting me adjust to him inside of me. “You feel massive!” I breathe out.

He laughs. “You are so tight. I am scared to move ‘cause I may cum,” he says.

I laugh with him, and tell him to push in a little more. We go at this pace for about five minutes and he finally reaches half way. I feel him drip sweat on me. “Eww, you are sweating!” I say, laughing.

“It’s ‘cause I am doing all the work here!” he says, rubbing his forehead on my chest.

He keeps talking to me as he pushes his cock deeper inside of me, and I find it more comforting. I finally feel his balls hit my butt. “Oh my god, I feel so full,” I moan out.

“Please don’t clench. I might bust if you do,” he says, laying his head on my chest.

He starts to slowly pull out, and push back in. It hurts, but he goes really slow, so I can adjust to his cock inside of me. After about ten minutes, I tell him to go a little faster. He keeps hitting that same spot, and my dick is rock hard again.

I pull him down to kiss me as I feel him working his cock in and out of my ass. I can’t help but moan into his mouth. Holy fuck, it feels amazing. Every time he hits the spot, I want to scream. I hear him grunting, and I know he is enjoying this as much as I am.

I dig my nails into his back, and bite his lip. “Babe, easy,” he says.

I giggle. “Sorry, just feels so good,” I tell him.

I haven’t even touched my dick, and I start to feel my orgasm build up. “Faster,” I tell him.

He picks up the pace, and I can feel myself about to lose control. I throw my head back as he kisses my neck. “I’m cumming!” I yell out. As my dick explodes between us, he keeps thrusting, and I can’t stop myself from moaning.

“Ryder, oh my god, I’m going to cum!” he says, and I am still feeling the aftereffects of my orgasm, and I clench, and he moans. I feel his dick expand inside me and his whole body shudders. I feel warmth inside of me, and he keeps pumping a few more times. “Oh my god,” he pants.

Tyler finally stops thrusting and lays on top of me, panting hard. “Ryder…that was amazing.”

“It really was,” I say and kiss him.

I feel his dick slip out of me, and have an empty feeling inside of me now, and I don’t know how to react to that. “Tyler.”

“Yeah, babe?” he asks, looking up at me.

“I love you.”

He moves off of me, and pulls me into a hug. “I love you, too. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

I shake my head. “It was perfect.”

We share a passionate kiss, only for it to be broken up from my grumbling stomach. I bury my head into his shoulder.

He laughs. “Are you hungry?”

“I am starving!” I tell him.

“Let’s go shower, and I will heat up some dinner,” he says, sitting up.

I take his hand. “That sounds good, and maybe we can do a second round?” I say, and wink.

He straddles me. “I love you so much.”

“You better love me a lot, ‘cause I am crazy in love with you,” I tell him, and I am. Not just because we had sex, even though I feel so much closer to him now. It’s the fact that I trusted him with my body, and it just clicked that he wouldn’t hurt me. I think he would hurt himself before he ever did anything to hurt me. I look at him, and he is looking at me, and I can’t help but move over and kiss him.