The Hollow Hills - 26. Chapter 26

Galen

“Ye’ve been working so much lately, love. Why don’t ye take the day off tomorrow? Caroline and I will make do,” Alannah stated.

I paused as I groomed Dragon. The big bay horse nuzzled me, and I reached up to scratch his neck. “Are you sure? I don’t mind working.”

“Quite sure, lad. I’ve been an unreasonable boss. Ye haven’t had a day off in over a month.”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess I haven’t.”

“Well, ye deserve one.”

Dragon lowered his head, and I ran my hands along his face until I found his favorite spot behind his ear. He bobbed his head and snorted in pleasure as I scratched his itch. “Have you started riding Dragon?” I asked.

“No. Not for another month. Why d’ye ask?”

“That’s what I thought. He must have had a restless night. He had some sweat marks on him this morning. He’s acting fine, though.”

“Good eye, lad.” She walked over to the grooming stall and ran her hands over the gelding’s body, checking him out. “He seems all right. I’ll keep an eye on him, though.”

I resumed grooming the mud-covered creature, removing the main chunks of dried earth with the round, rubber curry, then flicking away the dust with a softer brush, which I cleaned every few strokes by running it along the teeth of the currycomb. The last step of the process was to run a damp towel over the bright bay’s body to draw away the remnants of dirt and add a shine to his coat. I led him to his stall, where he immediately walked over to a pile of hay and started munching.

I loved that sound. At the end of the day, I’d stand in the barn aisle and listen to the contented animals chew their hay and grain, punctuated by occasional stamps or snorts. It was peaceful and soothing. It was the end to a day’s hard work, followed by a hot shower to wash away the grime, and good food shared with even better friends. I sighed and turned away.

“Need a hand?” I asked. Alannah was saddling a new arrival—a chestnut mare who had recently developed a habit of refusing to jump.

“Sure. Ye can wrap her front legs.”

I grabbed a couple of navy blue polo wraps—strips of soft cloth that wrapped around the lower part of a horse’s legs to provide support—and swiftly wound the bandage around the mare’s legs.

“Thanks, love.”

“No problem.”

“So, any ideas on what ye’ll do tomorrow?”

I watched as she deftly removed the mare’s halter and replaced it with the bridle. “I’ve been meaning to pay Jody a visit. I’ll call him and see if he’s free tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a great plan. It’ll be good for ye to get off the farm for a bit.” She led the horse toward the indoor arena, and I headed into the office to check the list for which horses needed to be turned out next.

Over the past month, Alannah had increased my chores at the barn as my stamina and mental state improved. I now worked a full day feeding, cleaning stalls, grooming horses, and switching turnouts. I also helped clean tack, sweep the aisle, clean water buckets, and a myriad of other chores necessary to the daily running of a horse barn.

It was night and day compared to my law work. I had taken an extended leave of absence after my rescue, which turned into long-term medical leave after I was diagnosed with PTSD. I wasn’t sure when or even if I’d be able to return to my job. They wouldn’t hold my position forever, but I was nowhere near ready to return to the stress of being a lawyer. Working in the barn was good for me. I liked the physical labor and the contact with the horses. Being responsible for the care of other beings made me realize how much I had stopped taking care of myself. Dr. Snowden helped also. He made the trip out to the farm twice a week for our therapy sessions. During our last talk, he told me I needed to start coming to appointments at his office.

I hadn’t left the farm since the trip to New York. I hadn’t seen the need to. Josh did the grocery shopping on his way home from the office while I worked in the barn all day. Daniel traveled to the farm for my appointments. Jody visited me a few times, but I hadn’t been to his house. Going to see my best friend seemed like a logical step for my first venture out on my own.

Josh called later that afternoon to say he’d be late coming home, so I made meatloaf and mac and cheese when I was done with my work day. I was getting pretty good at making my favorite foods. Josh walked through the door just as the timer dinged, signaling the meatloaf was ready to be removed. I set the pan on a trivet on the counter.

“Hey. How was your day?” I asked.

Josh took a few steps toward me, frowned, and detoured to the sink. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with cold water. “Shitty. How was yours?”

“Same, but I think you mean a different kind of shitty,” I replied. I gestured toward the mudroom, where we kept our boots and barn clothes.

Josh laughed. “Ya got me there.” He took a sip of water. “Need a hand?”

“Nah. Everything’s done. The meatloaf needs to rest while the mac and cheese finishes cooking. Salad’s done.”

He looked at me and opened his mouth as if to say something, then changed his mind. I thought he looked disappointed. “OK. I’m going to go change, then.” He hesitated, then headed to our room. I watched him as he walked. Something was clearly bothering him.

Liam and Alannah joined us for dinner. Josh scooped a giant pile of mac and cheese onto his plate, then dumped about half of it onto another plate and handed it to me. “Sorry. I guess I got too used to sharing a plate with you.”

I smiled as I took the plate and added a small slice of meatloaf and some salad. “No problem. That’s a lot of food, though. I’m not sure I can eat all that.” Josh was acting odd. We hadn’t shared a plate in weeks.

Josh frowned. “You need to eat more. Barn work is hard work so you need a lot of energy. You’re losing weight when you should be gaining.”

I scowled. “I eat as much as I can. And I’m not losing weight. I gained a pound this week.”

Josh grunted. “Can’t tell.”

I scooped a spoonful of mac and cheese into my mouth and chewed slowly and deliberately as I stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Happy?”

He rolled his eyes.

“So I hear you have a day off tomorrow,” Liam said.

“Yeah, I’ve been ordered to take a day for myself,” I replied.

“I didn’t know you were off tomorrow,” Josh stated with an edge to his voice.

“I didn’t have a chance to tell you. I only found out this morning.”

“It’s perfect timing, actually. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to take tomorrow off.” He smiled, melting away the stress of his shitty day. “What do you want to do?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” I replied. “I thought I’d visit Jody.”

He pressed his lips together, destroying his smile, and hunched his shoulders. He stabbed a piece of meatloaf with his fork and chewed it woodenly.

“He’s busy in the afternoon, so maybe we can do something then, if I’m up to it.”

He nodded. “Yeah, OK. I can drop you off at Jody’s, then head into the office for a bit. Maybe we can go out for lunch or something.”

“I figured I’d take Betsey to Jo’s. We’ll have to see how I feel. I’m not sure I’m ready to eat out. Just going to Jo’s is making me nervous enough.”

“If you’re anxious, let me go with you. I can help if you have a panic attack.”

I shook my head. “Sorry, Josh, but I have to do this on my own.”

He clenched his jaw and moved the mac and cheese around his plate with his fork.

“Say hi to Jo for me,” Liam said. “I haven’t seen him in ages. I’ll have to stop by sometime.”

I nodded. We finished dinner, making awkward small talk, then went our separate ways for the evening. Liam and Alannah headed over to my cousin’s house, and Josh cleaned up the kitchen while I went to the barn to do night check.

After topping off the water buckets and throwing each horse their flakes of hay, I stood in Buck’s stall and watched him eat. I hadn’t ridden him since before my abduction. Maybe it was time to start again. I put my arms around my horse’s neck, breathed in the scent of horse and hay, and sighed. Now I knew what Josh and I could do the next afternoon.

Josh was already gone when I woke up the next morning. I was surprised to see I had slept in until almost nine o’clock. Apparently I needed that day off more than I realized. Josh had left me breakfast on a covered plate in the fridge. All I had to do was heat it. I texted Jody while I ate about a third of the pile of food Josh had cooked.

A flood of memories washed over me as I drove to my best friend’s house. For a portion of the drive, I took the same route that led to my old apartment. I almost turned left to go to my former residence, instead of right to Jody’s, at the intersection where our paths diverged. It felt strange to be away from the farm, and I realized how much of a bubble I had been living in. It was safe at the farm—comfortable and familiar. And Josh was there.

I exhaled sharply. How many times had I driven this route—heading toward the farm—practically vibrating from the anticipation of seeing Josh? How many times had I wished he was something more? I missed my old life. I loved my job. I had finally reached a level of peace over the break-up with Jamie. I had learned how to live on my own for the first time in my life. I loved my cat. A tear trickled down my cheek as I thought of Tigger. I missed him, but didn’t think it would be fair to take him away from his new home. A part of me missed Ethan, but I knew our relationship hadn’t been strong enough to survive what I’d been through, even if I took Josh out of the equation.

I pulled into Jody’s driveway and stopped in front of his house. All of the changes I’d experienced since November threatened to overwhelm me in a tidal wave of anxiety. I also realized I couldn’t stay at the farm forever. At some point, I’d have to look for a new apartment. I clutched Betsey’s steering wheel in a death grip and focused on taking deep breaths. Jody was inside, just a short distance away. He’d help ground me. I didn’t want to take an anti-anxiety pill. They made me feel numb. Besides, if I took one then Josh would have to pick me up, and I didn’t want him to worry. I inhaled and exhaled several times, envisioning Buck and Dragon, and finally my nights with Josh, curled in his protective embrace. I opened my eyes and lowered my shoulders. It was time to go inside.

I knocked on the door, then entered the house. “Jo? Sal? It’s Galen.”

Jody emerged from the kitchen and grinned when he saw me. “Hey, you hungry?”

I shook my head and flopped down on the couch. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. “You sure?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m sure. Josh left me enough food to feed… well… you.” I poked a finger in his belly.

He giggled in a poor imitation of the Pillsbury Dough Boy, then waved a silver-wrapped, rectangular package in front of my face. “Not even for these?”

My eyes widened and I grabbed for it, only to have Jody jerk his arm out of my reach. “You said you weren’t hungry. So I’m gonna eat both of these. After I pop them in the toaster.”

He tried to stand, but I jumped onto his lap, grabbing for the package of treats. Jody laughed. “You think that’ll stop me?” He stood and walked into the kitchen with me clinging to him.

“Oh c’mon!” I said. “I haven’t had Pop Tarts in ages! Josh won’t buy that ‘processed crap.’”

“Oh poor you… can’t have Pop Tarts because you live with a famous chef.” He reached behind his neck and pried my hands apart. I dropped lightly to the floor.

“Are those brown sugar cinnamon?”

Jody snorted. “Is there any other kind?”

“I want one. You can share. You need to lose weight and I need to gain it.” I pinched his side and he squirmed away from me. My big, tough friend was a giant wimp when it came to being tickled. He opened the package of Pop Tarts and placed them in the toaster.

“Are you calling me fat?” He patted his belly. “Pure muscle, baby.”

“Muscle… right. Play nicely, boys. Jody, share with your friend.” Sally entered the kitchen and hugged me. “It’s good to see you, Galen.”

“Yeah, you too,” I replied.

“I’m heading out to my sister’s for the day. Do you two think you can behave like adults while I’m gone?” She looked at Jody and shook her head. “Look who I’m talking to.”

“You know you love me, babe.”

Sally exaggerated a long sigh. “God help me, but I do.” She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed Jo on the cheek. “See you tonight, hon.”

“Later. Love you.”

The whole exchange about the Pop Tarts brought me back to our college days. Jody and I both loved brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts. One night, we were both drunk and had decided to spend the night in his apartment, since it was closer to the bar. We were hungry, and the only bit of food in the place was one package of Pop Tarts. After a wrestling match that Jody won, he ate one in front of me, while I glared at him. He ended up giving me the other one, then running into the bathroom to puke up the one he had just finished. Why he still liked the damn things after that was beyond me, but it became a running joke between us.

Remembering past times with Jody hurt. It brought home even further how much my life had changed. Maybe leaving the farm hadn’t been such a good idea after all. The toaster popped and I flinched. I closed my eyes and tried to will the bad thoughts away.

“Gale? You OK?”

Jody stared at me with a look of concern. “I was gonna let you have one, I promise.”

I laughed, but it was a hollow, humorless sound. “Don’t call me Gale.”

“Why don’t you go have a seat? You want some coffee?”

“Nah, water is fine.” I didn’t need to add caffeine to my already frazzled nerves.

“I’ll be right in.”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and walked into the living room. A large, bald man sporting a goatee and heavily tattooed arms sat in Jody’s recliner. I stopped dead and stared at the stranger, panic threatening to overwhelm me. He must have come in through the unlocked front door.

“Jo? Call Liam, will ya?” I said.

“Liam? What’s that bastard been up to?”

“I think you should call him now.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention we have a guest.” Jo shouldered past me, balancing a small plate of Pop Tarts on top of a coffee mug and a glass of water. “Take this, will ya?”

I grabbed the plate and Jody set the beverages on the coffee table.

“This is Ben. I hired him to help on the renovation of the Johnson estate. He’s staying here while we do the work.”

Ben smiled and nodded. “Hey. Nice to meet ya.”

“This is Galen. You’ll be seeing him a lot around here. Right, babe?”

I shrugged and sat in a brown recliner as far away from Ben as possible. I didn’t like the way the stranger looked me over.

Jo handed me one of the toasted Pop Tarts and the glass of water. “Relax… Ben’s good people. I’ve worked with him before. He’s a hell of a mason. The Johnson place has a lot of stone that needs repairing, so I wanted to bring in the best.”

Ben grinned at the compliment. It reminded me of a predator baring its teeth. I took a bite of the Pop Tart and chewed slowly. It tasted like sawdust.

“So what kind of work do you do, Galen?” Ben asked.

“I’m a lawyer,” I replied.

Ben laughed. “A lawyer, huh? You chase ambulances or what?”

I scowled. “Corporate law. I’m not a shyster.”

He held his hands up. “Sorry, man. I was just joking. No offense meant.”

“Don’t you have a delivery coming this morning?” Jody asked.

“Yeah. I better get going. Nice to meet you, Galen. See you later, Williams.”

“See ya.”

I nodded and smiled politely, keeping an eye on his whereabouts until he headed out the front door. “So the Johnson estate, huh? Is that the same one Ethan always talked about?”

“Yeah. The state finally granted it historical landmark status and set some funds aside for restoration. We submitted a bid and won. E’s pretty excited about it.”

“I bet. He loves that place.”

“It needs a lot of work. They really let it go to shit. It’ll keep us busy for a while.”

“How is E? I haven’t seen him since I freaked out on him at the hospital.”

Ethan had visited me in the hospital shortly after I was rescued. Between the drugs, pain, and rawness of my emotions, I had screamed at him to go away. I associated Ethan with sex and now associated sex with trauma. He never came back. I hated that things had ended so messily between us, but I didn’t know what I could do about it at that point. It was over and we both needed to move on.

“He’s hanging in there. This project is just what he needs, I think.”

“Well, I’m happy for you guys.”

We chatted until Jody had to leave for work, and then I headed back to the farm. While I loved seeing my best friend, the past was a specter never far behind me, and I wanted to return to my routine and some sense of normalcy. But after everything I’d been through, I was afraid I’d never get that feeling back again.

Josh was already home when I walked into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw me and my heart felt like it skipped a beat. I pushed down my feelings for him. He gestured toward a flat cardboard box laying on the kitchen island. “I bought pizza for lunch. I figured it’d be quick and easy, then we can head down to the barn for your lesson.”

“Pizza sounds great, but I don’t think I’m up for a lesson,” I replied.

Josh frowned. I don’t think he even tried to hide his hurt expression. “Why not? Buck needs to be exercised. It’s part of owning a horse.”

“I thought you were using him for lessons? Today’s not a good day. I just want to relax.”

“He is being used for lessons, but you should start riding him too.”

“Don’t pressure me. I will, but in my own time.”

Josh ran his hand through his hair. “So what do you want to do instead?”

“Why don’t we stay in and watch a movie?”

“Sure. Yeah. We can do that.” He handed me a plate. “I bought your favorite cheesecake, too. I thought we could have that later.”

I placed a slice of cheese and pepperoni pizza on the plate and walked to the fridge for a cold drink. “That was nice of you. It’s been ages since I’ve had cheesecake. Thanks.” It hadn’t really struck me until then how many little things Josh did for me.

Josh headed into the living room while I filled a glass with cold lemonade. He scooted closer to the couch arm as I plopped down into the oversized armchair next to the couch. He sighed and leaned against the back cushion.

I picked out my favorite sappy Hallmark movie, but my heart wasn’t into watching it. Instead, my attention shifted between the television screen and my gray-haired friend. Several times, I caught him watching me instead of the movie, then we’d each look back at the screen and shift uncomfortably in our seats.

After the movie ended, we sat on the porch swing and ate our cheesecake in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. We’d exchange occasional looks and smiles, then return to our individual thoughts. I remembered the first time I stood on that porch. I’d been so excited to meet Alannah and see the horses. Meeting Josh had been an unexpected bonus. I still experienced the same shivers that went straight to my heart when I looked at him, despite all we’d been through. Charlie stood in his paddock, watching us as he had watched me that fateful day. I sighed and set my cheesecake down on the end table next to the swing.

“Those must be some pretty heavy thoughts to get you to put cheesecake down,” Josh said. “Give you a penny for them.”

I exhaled, then smiled. “Is that all they’re worth?”

Josh shook his head. “Not even close.”

I bumped my shoulder against his and we maintained eye contact for several seconds before I broke our gaze. “Maybe we can try my riding lesson tomorrow. If you have time.”

“Think you’ll be up to it after your appointment?”

I had forgotten I had my first appointment at Daniel’s office the following afternoon. “Thursday might be better, then.”

“Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?”

The tension in his posture, set of his jaw, and the way he bounced his leg made me unsure if he wanted to go or not. “Yeah, I’d love it if you went with me. I have a lot I want to talk to him about.”

A part of me wanted to start calling Josh Dr. Jekyll from how often his demeanor changed. His entire body relaxed, and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but took another bite of cheesecake instead.

We stayed on the porch until Alannah finished her day and then headed inside for dinner. Liam joined us a little while later. We ate leftover pizza and polished off the rest of the cheesecake. Liam and Alannah chatted about their respective days with occasional interjections from Josh and me. It felt homey, and normal, and right. So much so, that it was easy to forget this wasn’t my home.