The Hollow Hills - 16. Chapter 16

Galen

After the wedding, preparing for an upcoming trial for my job took all of my time. It was the worst possible timing as far as my personal life was concerned. I was upset about Ethan, even more so because he wasn’t returning any of my phone calls or texts. I knew it was over between us. It made me sad because he really was a very sweet man. He deserved much better than I could give him.

After three days of Ethan not returning my messages, I called Jody. “Hey, Jo. Have you heard from Ethan? I’ve been calling him for days, and he hasn’t returned my messages. I’m worried about him.”

Jody sighed. “He needs some space right now, Galen. I’d just leave him alone for now.”

I frowned. “Why? It’s really important that I talk to him.”

“It’s up to him to tell you why. Look, I’m at a job site, and the customer just showed up not looking too happy. Later.” He hung up.

I threw myself back into work, trying desperately to take my mind off of Ethan and Josh.

*****

Later that night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, absently stroking Tigger’s soft fur. He purred and flipped onto his back so I could pet his belly. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and groaned. It was 3:25 in the morning. I debated giving up on sleep and doing more work but decided against it. My thoughts were all over the place. Ethan, Josh, Jamie, Jody…even my cousin and Alannah. I pushed thoughts of all of them out of my mind and tried to concentrate on my court case.

I was looking forward to being in the courtroom. The majority of lawsuits that we brought or that were brought against the company I worked for, were settled prior to going to court. There was a part of me that wished I had gone into litigation instead of corporate law. I loved trials. I found the feverish pace of countering evidence and changing strategies last minute in response to opposing counsel’s gambits very provocative. Law and Order was my favorite TV show outside of cheesy romance movies. Jamie was the one who had his heart set on corporate law. The pay and the hours are much better than those of litigators. I suppose I took the easy route, but I was generally pretty happy with my career.

My thoughts returned to my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. I loved Ethan, but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t the same way he loved me. I felt bad about that. He really was a great guy. He was hot, great in bed, and very sweet. I knew that he had been hurt very badly in the past, and I felt horrible that I was hurting him again. He didn’t talk much about his ex, but Jody had filled me in on what happened. Ethan dated a guy for two years before he found out that he was being used as a placeholder until the guy’s boyfriend returned from studying abroad. Ethan thought they were in a committed relationship and was prepared to spend the rest of their lives together. He was crushed when he found out that he was ‘the other man’. I hoped he didn’t feel the same way about me. Occasionally he’d try to talk about our future, but I always changed the subject. The truth was, I was just enjoying the moment with Ethan. I didn’t want to think about the future.

Poor Ethan didn’t deserve to bear the burden of my denial of my feelings for Josh. The parallels between his ex and me made my stomach churn. Maybe I hadn’t exactly been cheating on him, but my lack of honesty with myself made me feel like I had.

I was confused as to why Ethan was ignoring me. It didn’t make any sense. He always returned my texts and calls immediately, and we talked every day, even if we didn’t see each other. I was irritated that Jody wouldn’t tell me why. It was obvious he knew. I decided I’d call him in the morning and drag it out of him, since Ethan wouldn’t tell me himself.

I turned onto my side, pushing Ethan out of my mind in favor of Josh. I couldn’t stop the smile that spread over my face as I pictured him in his tux at the wedding, remembering the feel of his arms around me and his hands on my skin. I drew Tigger close to me, producing what I swear was a dirty look for disturbing his sleep. He stretched, then curled up into my side, purring contentedly.

Josh was a puzzle to me. I didn’t understand his relationship with Roger. Why anyone would put up with such a one-sided relationship was beyond me. I spent a lot of time at the farm and had yet to meet the man. I wondered if I’d see any changes in Josh if we were to pursue a relationship. According to Liam, Josh was very private, even with Alannah. From the brief time I knew him, I could tell he wasn’t very free with his thoughts or emotions. He opened up to me, though. Telling me about Blackjack was a huge step for him, even if I did have to wrestle it out of him.

The next step was getting him to realize what an asshole Roger was. I was pretty confident that major strides had been taken toward that goal. Josh’s demeanor after Roger stood him up at the wedding broke my heart. I had never seen him so dejected. The hurt in his eyes and slump of his shoulders left no doubt in my mind that it was the impetus Josh needed to finally dump the bastard. I hugged Tigger even closer when I thought of Josh’s words when we danced. I never want you to let me go. I didn’t plan on it.

*****

I hit the ‘save’ button on the document I was working on and closed my laptop in triumph. I was finally done with all the preparation for the trial the following day. It had been a hellish two weeks since Caroline’s wedding. I was looking forward to visiting Buck and having dinner with my friends before heading to Boston the following day for the courtroom. I also couldn’t wait to see Josh.

When I arrived at the farm, I briefly said hello to Buck before heading up to the house. Liam and Alannah were seated at the kitchen table and Josh was removing something from the oven. “Hi guys.” I grinned and kissed Alannah on the cheek before walking over to Josh. “Need any help?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Everything’s ready. The roast just needs to rest while we eat our salads.”

“Ok.” I sat at the table as Josh served the salad. “I can’t tell you how happy I’ll be to have this trial over. Keep your fingers crossed for a good outcome tomorrow.”

“Good luck, Galen,” Josh said.

“Will you just be gone for the day, then?” Alannah asked.

I nodded. “Hopefully the case will be resolved quickly. I don’t really want to drive back up there on Monday.”

I couldn’t help stealing glances at Josh every chance I got. I felt like a hormonal teenager with his first crush. Every time I looked at him, a smile spread involuntarily over my face. After two weeks of being left to my own devices for dinner, Josh’s cooking tasted like heaven. I was growing as a cook, but I was so busy I had reverted to my usual standard of take-out and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. After eating dinner, Liam and Alannah retreated to the living room, leaving me alone with Josh. I fiddled with my napkin as I worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been on my lips all evening.

“So Josh…would you like to go see a movie with me this weekend?”

My cousin chose this moment to enter the kitchen, glass in hand. He frowned. “Oh boy…” he muttered, then retreated back into the living room.

“Well, gosh, Galen, I’d love to.”

I grinned, and my heart soared.

“But I’m leaving for Roger’s cabin on Saturday. I’ll be gone for two weeks. We go every year for the beginning of hunting season. I’d be happy to go with you when we get back.”

I flinched as if I had been physically struck. “What? I thought you broke up with him after he stood you up at the wedding.”

He frowned. “He had an emergency and couldn’t contact me. He feels really bad about it.”

“Are you kidding me? What about our dance? Didn’t that mean anything to you?”

“Galen, we’ve been through this already. I can’t leave him.” He looked like he didn’t believe his own words.

“Are you kidding me? What does he have to do to get you to see what kind of man he is?”

He scowled. “You have no idea what kind of man he is. You’ve never even met him.”

“That’s right. How long have we been friends now? I’m over here all the time, and I’ve never met him.”

Josh looked at the table and didn’t respond.

“When’s the last time you even saw him?” I was glaring at him, even though he continued to avoid my eyes. He muttered something so low I couldn’t hear it. “I can’t hear you.” My voice trembled with anger.

“Forget it. It’s none of your damn business.”

I narrowed my eyes and clenched my jaw. I stood abruptly and made a run for the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and stood with my hands braced on the sink. I was floored. How could I have been so wrong? I looked in the mirror and inhaled deeply. I had told myself that I was going to fight for Josh. I needed to make him see that he deserved better than Roger.

As I walked back into the kitchen, I noticed Alannah and Liam sitting close together on the couch, exchanging worried looks. When I entered the kitchen, Josh had a handful of dishes he was bringing to the sink. He was looking down. I stepped into his path and grabbed the dishes, stopping him in place.

“Don’t go.”

“Galen…”

“Don’t. Go.” I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. “Please.”

“I can’t just not go.”

“Yes, you can.”

“He needs me,” Josh whispered.

“So do I. Please, Josh. I’ll get down on my knees and beg if I have to, but please don’t go.”

He avoided my gaze. “I have to go.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you see what everyone else does? I would never treat you the way he does.”

Josh’s expression hardened. “You don’t know him like I do.”

“I know enough. Please stay, Josh. Don’t go.”

He silently shook his head. Anger exploded through me, and I shoved the dishes against his chest as I stormed out of the kitchen and out the door. I stopped when I got to Betsey and stood with my hands on her roof, willing my body to stop shaking and the tears to stop. I pounded my fist on the roof of the car. I had a choice. I could give up and let him spend the rest of his life in misery, or I could fight one more time.

I wiped my eyes and reentered the house. Josh was standing at the sink, hands on the countertop, staring at the pile of dishes occupying it. My heart pounded in my chest, and I had to work hard to draw breath into my lungs. He was beautiful to me, even though he looked absolutely miserable. The thought of losing him caused me to produce a sob I immediately strangled.

Josh turned to look at me, and I strode over to him, took his face in my hands and pressed my lips against his. He was stiff in my arms at first, but gradually relaxed and responded briefly before pulling away.

“I told you I never wanted you to let me go.” I choked back a sob. “And you said you didn’t want me to let go either.”

Josh looked anywhere but at me.

“You look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t feel it, too.”

He looked at the ground.

“You can’t, can you?” The longer he remained silent the angrier I became. “Goddammit, Josh! You can’t tell me for one minute that you don’t feel the same way I do,” I yelled.

He winced at my words.

“I love you, Josh. That has to count for something.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I would never treat you the way he does. I would cherish you.”

Josh met my gaze, then said, “I can’t just walk away…”

“Yes you can, you coward!”

“I can’t…” he whispered.

I yelled and spun in a circle, dragging my hands through my hair. I stopped and faced him. I had never been more furious in my life. “If you want to spend the rest of your life being treated like shit, then go right ahead. I’m done with you.” I turned and started for the door, tears streaming down my face.

“Galen…”

I wheeled around and shot him a look filled with venom. “Fuck you!” I spat. I ran out the door and jumped into Betsey. I peeled out of the parking lot and down the driveway. I was trembling with anger and betrayal. This was not how I had envisioned the evening ending, and I was devastated.

I drove to Jody’s in a fog. It was a miracle I didn’t hit anything or anyone. When I arrived at his house, I burst through the front door and immediately zeroed in on my best friend sitting in a lounge chair near the TV. I flung myself on his lap and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest. I felt his strong arms close around me.

“What’s wrong? Calm down, Galen. Whatever it is, it’ll be ok.”

“I don’t understand, Jo,” I said when I calmed down enough to speak. “What’s so wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Why do you think that?”

“None of the men in my life want me. Jamie doesn’t want me anymore, Ethan won’t even talk to me, and Josh would rather spend the rest of his life with an asshole who treats him like shit. I don’t think I’m such a bad person…why don’t they want me?”

“Jamie’s an asshole, and Josh is a fool. Ethan…is just hurt.” Jody smoothed my hair back.

“Hurt?”

“Now’s not the time to discuss it.”

Sally walked over to Jody. She was talking on the phone. “Yeah, Liam. He’s here. He’s really upset. Ok. Yeah, I’ll tell him. Thanks, Liam. Bye.”

“Liam had to respond to a call, Galen. He wanted to make sure you’re all right. He’ll call you when he can.”

I nodded.

“Jody, why don’t you take Galen home? I don’t think he’s in any condition to drive.”

Jody nodded. “Sure. C’mon, babe. We can pick up some ice cream on the way.”

Jody drove me home and ended up staying the night. I didn’t want to be alone, and sleeping in his arms was a great comfort to me. Josh’s rejection hurt even more than when I found out Jamie was cheating on me. I decided to leave Betsey at Jody’s and take my Kia to Boston. I had a long time to think as I was driving.

I had poured my heart out to Jody the night before – telling him about my feelings for both Josh and Ethan. I was determined to see Ethan when I returned from my trip. I felt he deserved a face-to-face talk about what happened. I was still very confused about his sudden lack of communication. Jody told me it was up to E to tell me what happened. He was very close to both of us and didn’t want to be caught in the middle of it. I didn’t blame him.

Despite my distracted state of mind, the two sides decided to settle the case before the trial ended. I was stuck in meetings until 8:00 p.m., hammering out the details of the settlement. My colleagues wanted to go out and celebrate, but I didn’t feel like spending the night in Boston. I just wanted to get home and curl up in bed with Tigger.

About an hour and a half into the drive home, I was exhausted and hungry, so I decided to stop at a little bar/restaurant for coffee and a burger. I wish to God I never did.