Box Shaped Heart - 2. Everything Is Fuzzy

Chapter Two – Everything Is Fuzzy

“Your memory of recent events seems to be a little fuzzy,” the doctor explained to him while tapping against his desk with a slim golden pen.

Carter leaned against the wooden desk, his eyes wide and trained on the man in white. The guy looked like he was in his late 50s, so he had probably seen plenty of strange things in his medical practice.

“Actually, I have trouble remembering other things, too,” he whispered.

The doctor leaned closer, turning his head to one side like he was trying to catch Carter’s words with his good ear. Maybe the guy was partially deaf. What did he know?

“Why are you whispering?” the doctor asked, but he was whispering, too.

“Why are you whispering?” Carter shot back, but still sotto voce.

“Because you are. We are focused here on a holistic patient experience. We want you to feel good and cared for. And understood,” the doctor explained, still continuing to whisper.

“Oh,” Carter leaned back in his chair.

Yeah, right. If he were to talk about the fact that he was not in his own body, but someone else’s, the nice doctor would just send him to the loony bin in a heartbeat. And that was the first stage of his plan: stay out of the loony bin. What he wanted to say was more related to survival.

“No, the point is that I don’t remember much about my life, in general. It’s like I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin,” he linked his fingers together and slashed gently through the air like he wanted to compartmentalize and understand the whole situation.

The doctor nodded thoughtfully.

“You went through quite a scare. A certain sensation of discomfort is normal.”

He needed to be clear, or else he was going to fend off a lot of unwanted questions. Especially from Aron. He disentangled his fingers and pressed his palms against the doctor’s desk.

“Doctor, I think I’m amnesic,” he said in a heartbeat.

“What makes you say that?” the doctor spoke in a paternal voice like he was chiding a kid saying that he could not understand basic math.

“Well, the fact that I don’t remember stuff,” Carter shrugged.

Wasn’t it obvious enough? Or was the doctor just pulling his leg?

“Do you remember being married to Aron?” the doctor questioned.

The guy just had to go straight to that. Straight, huh? There was nothing straight about being married to his best friend. Ex best friend. Current husband. Life was suddenly terribly complicated.

“Yeah,” he drawled out the word like he was not really convinced.

“Well, you did recognize him when he visited you,” the doctor stared at him, now puzzled.

“I do know he is my husband, but I don’t recall anything else. I mean, I don’t know where I live. Or how I like my coffee.”

The doctor began tapping the golden pen against the desk again.

“We could still keep you here, but you are perfectly physically fine, Alex,” the man spoke gently. “You should see a therapist if you do not begin remembering details about your life within the next month or so. But frankly, I believe that getting back to your life would help you remember everything. Surrounded by the things you are familiar with, you will slowly regain your confidence. I know you love your work, and I know that everyone will be at your beck and call. You will surely find your way back to how things were in no time.”

The man was watching him warily, although his words were kind. He thinks I’m a diva, and he feels the need to placate me, Carter thought. Well, he was not one to torture people, although he felt he was pretty much in deep shit, so he decided to put the poor doctor’s worries to rest. He was not just going to dally. Ready or not, he had to face the music and go home. Aron’s home. Alex’s home. The home the guys got after they had gotten married. So some house he didn’t know at all. Damn, that was terrifying.

For the last two days, he had managed to avoid Aron, by feigning to be asleep when the man had come around. Now that his husband was out of harm’s way, Aron could return back to work and stop losing time with visits to the hospital.

Yet, right now, there was no other possibility but go with the flow. Plus, if he was considered sane and perfectly capable to go back to what the others considered his normal life, he was going to be allowed to see himself, aka the body that lay in a comma, with probably Alex’s bitchy personality trapped inside.

That, if an exchange had taken place. But Carter did not want to consider other possibilities. It was essential for him to stay close to his body, afraid that some cosmic connection was going to tear if he was going to be too far. The medical team was now pushing him out the door, and while he had brought up that he wanted to see Carter Malis, he was kindly informed to return another day.

And for all that, he needed to be Alex Ruskin, and pretend he liked it. He could do that.

***

He could not do that. The moment he was out in the street, the lights from what seemed like thousands of cameras blinded him on the spot. It was a good thing that Aron somehow managed to beat the crowds to reach him because he was worse than a deer in the proverbial headlights. Aron’s strong hand engulfing his was warm and reassuring. He quickly followed as Aron took him to the car.

“Wow,” he managed as soon as the vehicle began rolling forward slowly.

“Are you okay?” Aron seemed worried a little, but his eyes remained focused on the road ahead, his hands flexing on the wheel.

For some reason, Carter’s eyes remained glued to those hands. There was something about Aron’s hands he had always liked. It was like you knew you could depend on the guy just by looking at his hands, and nothing else.

“Not really. Those hounds out there,” he grimaced and pulled his jacket closer, “were about to tear me apart. And I’m all bones,” he added, touching his ribcage slowly. “I have no idea what they could see in me.”

Aron flinched when the light turned red just before them and brought the car to a halt with a tinny sound. He seemed a bit in a daze while listening to Carter babbling.

“The doctor said you cannot remember everything. That things are a bit fuzzy for you.”

“That guy really likes the word ‘fuzzy’,” he commented wryly.

Fuzzy in a sentence. Fuzzy logic. Fuzzy memory. That didn’t make him feel exactly warm and fuzzy. He shook his head like a fly had just gotten in his ear, when Aron began speaking.

“Well, I should take you slowly, then,” Aron said, as he watched the lights. “Forgive me if I act a bit surprised. You just sound … different.”

“Different?”

Of course he sounded different. He wasn’t Alex. But that was not exactly a good topic of conversation, while Aron was behind the wheel, and they were navigating one of the most crowded areas of the city. Well, it wasn’t a good topic of conversation, period.

“I thought you would love the attention, after a few days spent away from your usual glamorous life,” Aron said with a small smile and stole a quick glance to Carter.

To Alex. Aron was looking at him like this only because he thought he was looking at his husband. Damn, he needed to get used to his new body. It just felt like a too tight piece of clothing, if he could try to describe it. Or the world was suddenly too big like he was a kid walking in his father’s shoes. He was obviously drawing unnecessary attention and needed to tread more carefully.

“You know what would help me?” he asked. “You telling me about the kind of guy I am.”

That was a good start. What better way to get to know himself – Alex – than by asking the closest person to the guy?

“The kind of guy you are?” Aron turned slightly towards him with a small smile hanging from one corner of his lips. “You are … gorgeous.”

Carter could feel his jaw dropping like suddenly drawn by the Earth’s gravity multiplied by ten, completely in no relation whatsoever with the rest of his anatomy. Why was Aron smiling like that? And why was he leaning in? And why was he …?

“The light changed,” he almost screamed and made himself little in his seat.

Wow, that had been close. Damn, now that was something that he hadn’t thought about it. Of course, he was going to fend off Aron’s attempts to … oh, fuck, he could not even say it. Actually, he had just said it in his mind, the word starting with an f and ending with a k. Yeah, Aron would expect his husband to put out. That was going to be hard. No, not hard. He was not allowed to think of words like that. Hard was no longer in the dictionary. The word ‘fuck’ either. Only there to be used for cuss phrases, nothing else.

Damn, he was so fucked. Not yet. But soon.

***

“It’s a pretty nice house,” he spoke, as he entered the large hallway and sneaked a peek in the large living room.

The light, filtered through the windows, fell just right, illuminating a piece of the carpet with its modernist pattern, and filling up the room with warmth. He was looking at a living room, like in one of those design magazines. Until this very moment, he had thought that those pictures were just perfect computer renderings. Apparently, some people lived in such homes for real.

“That nurse, Marge, was right,” Aron said as he pulled out his jacket. “You do have a sense of humor. It’s been a while since you made a joke.”

“How come me saying the house is nice has anything to do with me being funny? Because I’m not,” Carter explained.

“You mentally destroyed that interior decorator until he got everything right, and you were still not satisfied. The poor guy might still be in therapy, as we speak,” Aron said ruefully.

“I did? What a douchebag I must be,” he murmured, looking at the room in front of him with different eyes.

Aron burst into laughter.

“Did you really have to go through some kind of horrible accident to release this inner you?” Aron wondered and came closer. “What else are you hiding?”

You have no idea, Carter thought, with a mental eye roll. Aron put his hands on Carter’s lapel and began pushing down his jacket. The man’s proximity was doing nothing for his nerves. He was way too close, all up in his personal space. Carter could feel his breath quickening. So he took a step back, and then another. And Aron just followed.

“Ah, damn, Alex, stop playing,” Aron complained, but the same bright smile he had in the car was tugging at his lips now. “I missed you too much.”

Aron suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were hard and Carter pushed back. That had the strange effect of a bouncy ball smacking against hard mass. Carter tripped and fell on his back, his legs in the air. Good thing he fell on the couch.

“You little …” Aron chuckled and landed on top of him.

Crushing him. Spreading his legs wide. And hooking up his crotch against Carter’s. He could feel everything. Aron’s rough hands cupping his face. The guy’s lips on his. The guy’s tongue inside his mouth. Damn, that was too much. Ah, and his own eyes rolling inside his head, in sudden sensory overload. Had Aron always been so skillful with his tongue? The slow movement of that thing inside his mouth was making him want to suck on it like it was a lollipop. Funny thing, he wasn’t exactly crazy about sugary things. But Aron’s tongue? That was something that could give him a sweet tooth.

His body’s immediate response was something worthy of a case in biology books. He could feel the traitorous cock that, well, didn’t belong to him, growing hard while pressed by Aron’s heavy body. Of course, it was Alex’s body, and the guy was probably used to be sexually assaulted by this mountain of a man. That was how their marriage worked. Probably. Well, not that he knew that exactly since he had never been married, but it was quite clear right now that Aron was claiming his marital rights on the spot.

And maybe his body was ready, but his brain clearly wasn’t. So he did the first thing that crossed his mind and bit on the man’s tongue.

“Ouch,” Aron complained, and withdrew, with a hurt expression on his handsome face. “What was that for?”

“Are you an idiot?” Carter began chiding his best friend, now husband by the weirdest circumstances in the universe. “I just got back from the hospital. Can’t you see I’m not all there?” he pointed at his head.

“I can see some things that are all in their rightful places,” Aron said with a smirk and sneaked one hand between them to cup Carter’s very much up and hard cock.

He was beyond mortified. A dude was grabbing his crotch. And he was hard. Damn Alex and his body! What a frigging whore! A little bit of attention and he was just ready for it. Not that he could exactly blame Alex if he just looked for one second at Aron. From up close, the man looked even more handsome, with his deep dark eyes, shadowed by long eyelashes, the hard planes of his face, and sensuous mouth. Not that he was impressed by any of that. He was just a straight dude in a terrible situation.

“I think this cannot wait,” Aron added and laughed, as he squeezed Carter harder.

It was so unfair the guy was so big and strong. Carter felt like a puppet as he was manhandled with so much ease by Aron. Soon enough, he was seated on the sofa, his jeans around his ankles – when had that happened so fast? – and his husband – by circumstances! – knelt in front of him.

“You can’t really lie when your dick’s like this,” Aron joked and gave the smooth cock in his hand a long wet swipe from balls to tip.

Damn, what color were those stars that suddenly began to pop under his eyelids as he closed his eyes? He wasn’t sure he recognized that shade of pink. It was definitely impossible to find it in nature.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

Well, the truth was he had been buried in work, as far as he could remember, and hadn’t hooked up in a while. So he was pent up. He hadn’t had a girlfriend in a long time, either. But this was not his body anyway. This was Alex, getting a blowjob from his hunk of a husband. Gods, Aron’s tongue flicking over his length was making him feel like he was about to burst out of his own skin.

Maybe just go with the flow? Once? What was he thinking? He tried to push away Aron’s head from his balls, where the guy was now doing a great job lapping at them gently.

This time it worked. Aron frowned a bit and got up.

“Okay,” the man said as he ran one hand through his short cropped hair. “If you feel like you need time, I’ll give you time.”

“Thank you,” Carter spoke as he pulled up his jeans, hooking up the fly.

Phew, danger averted for now. But it looked like he had a bigger problem on his hands, now.

Aron’s mouth was set in a deep grim line and he was looking away, his eyebrows furrowed in thought, and clearly not a happy one. Well, that meant that he really needed to get his body back and have Alex back to Aron, because the situation was getting creepier by the minute.

“Is this about that thing?” Aron turned his attention back to Carter.

“That thing?” he mumbled.

“About that time when I was on my last business trip,” Aron sounded irritated. “When you thought I was cheating on you.”

“Cheating on me?” Carter asked, alarmed.

He might have been shitfaced when he had crashed that wedding party, but he could still remember how happy Aron had looked. And the guys’ love story had been all over the place, seeing that Alex was such a celebrity and all. There was no way Aron could have cheated on his husband. He was too much in love. Like romantic movie level of in love. Plus, Aron was not the cheating type. He was way too wholesome for that.

“Yeah,” Aron snorted. “Like anyone could compare to you. Why would you even think that?” he snapped. “You know I love you.”

Aron seemed really upset. Carter noticed the silver hairs again. Much must have happened during the last two years. Aron was as handsome as ever, but right now, his shoulders slumped a little, he looked one tiny bit older than his 32 years. For some reason, he could not stand this.

So he stood up and walked over to Aron.

“I know,” Carter said gently as he caressed Aron’s arm.

Technically, he wasn’t wrong. Aron loved Alex, more than anything, probably, and Alex should have known it. So all the more reason to change back into his own body. The fact that his actual body was right now in a coma was upsetting, but as fucked up as it had to be right now, it was still his body and he was attached to it. Well, at least, it should have been, if not for the strangest twist of fate in his otherwise very predictable life.

“Yes. It’s easy to speak the words,” Aron just shrugged him off.

All this for refusing a blowjob. Would it have hurt you that badly? Carter scolded himself. Who knows, you might have just liked it. But no, that would have been just wrong. And it would have been Aron cheating, unconsciously, on his husband. And Aron was not a cheater, Carter thought with conviction.

“Hey,” he called softly. “I love you, too, okay?”

This time, Aron did look at him and the scowl on his face began to dissipate.

“Were you scared? Because of the accident?” Aron asked.

“Yeah, like scared shitless,” Carter admitted, although he knew they were talking about slightly different things. Or totally different things. It was impossible for Aron to know he was scared about the body swap because such things did not exist. “I still am scared. I’m sure I’ll be better in a few days.”

During which he was going to visit his body in the hospital, bump heads with it and make the exchange. That was going to work. Surely. And after that, Alex could go back to his awesome husband and have his dick sucked. Fucking lucky bastard. Carter was not that much of a phony not to admit that Aron’s tongue on his cock and balls had felt pretty much ah-mazing. From a gay dude’s point of view, of course.

Not his. He was a homophobe, at least he had been one ever since he had learned Aron was marrying Alex. Actually, he felt his homophobic tendencies surfacing only it was about Aron. Otherwise, two drag queens could deep throat each other in front of him, and he could not care less. But still, he was straight, so it was impossible for him to enjoy having another guy touch his cock. That had to be gross. He just had to repeat that in his brain until he was going to believe it. It was the truth!

“Come here,” Aron smiled and pulled him into a hug.

Aron’s cologne smelled so familiar. It was making Carter feel so relaxed. The guy was so consistent that he hadn’t changed that fragrance from probably the first time he had ever used cologne. All this time, he probably missed this. Probably. Not that Aron was hugging him, Carter, like this. He was hugging his husband, Alex. Carter was pissed at Aron and Aron was pissed at him. And they were never going to be friends again. He buried his forehead into Aron’s shoulder and sighed.

“You’ll get better,” Aron slowly massaged his back. “I’m sorry I’ve been so snappy. Just that I thought you didn’t believe me. And then you got into this freakish accident and I was so afraid that ...”

“Hey,” Carter called firmly. “Let’s not get too emotional.”

He pushed himself back from that warm embrace. He needed to take distance or else he was just going to hug back and that was not an option.

“I’m fine,” he made a small pirouette. “See? All in one piece.”

Except for a tiny thing. Like the person that was currently inhabiting the said body.

“I see,” Aron said with a small smile. “I must say, Alex, that I’m quite relieved to see you reacting so well. I thought you were going to throw a hissy fit upon waking up, especially seeing that you got hurt, and especially your face ...”

Carter felt his face with his fingers.

“Come on, these little scratches?” he snorted. “They don’t even hurt. And they’re fading anyway.”

Again, Aron was looking at him like he was growing a second head. Of course, he slapped himself mentally. He needed to behave more like Alex for this to work.

“I mean, fucking bastard, daring to mess up my pretty face like this,” he tried to sound miffed, but to his ears, he was nothing but a whiny little thing.

“Since when do you use such words?” Aron wondered, staring at him, wide-eyed.

Fuck, this wasn’t working, either. The damn pompous ass wasn’t even cussing now and then?

“Well, I’m pissed,” he tried to justify his earlier outburst. “This face is worth millions. I should sue the fire department,” he added, feeling invigorated by his righteous indignation.

Aron smiled.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The accident was not the driver’s fault. You just appeared in front of the fire truck from a blind angle; that was all. It was a good thing he wasn’t even driving towards an emergency.”

Carter shut up. Okay, so learning about the circumstances of the accident could help.

“Ah, well, I don’t remember how it happened,” he shook his head.

Aron just hurried to embrace him again.

“You will; don’t worry,” the man said and placed a short kiss on Carter’s head.

“Hey, Aron,” he spoke. “I don’t think you cheated. You’re not a cheater.”

He felt like he needed to say that

“Well, that’s good to know. Do you want to get some rest?” Aron said gently.

He was getting kind of bored with resting.

“What else is to do around here?”

Aron threw him a look loaded with innuendo.

“Not that,” he snapped. “Do you have a basketball hoop hidden around here, somewhere? You used to have one at home,” the words flew from his lips before he could stop them.

Aron threw him a quizzical look while pushing him slowly away, to stare at him.

“You remember that I told you that?” he seemed excited. “We do have one in the backyard. But you never join me for a game. You hate sweating.”

“Well, it looks like I’m in the mood to do exactly that. I spent way too much time just lying in bed. And after that, I want a slice of pizza.”

Now Aron was completely flabbergasted.

“Are you sure? The carbs ...”

Fuck Alex and his diet, Carter thought. He was not going to give up on a good slice of pizza over the idiot’s bad eating habits. Eating one slice could not hurt his slim frame. And maybe later, when their bodies were going to be changed back, the guy could wonder all he wanted about why on earth he suddenly craved carbs. Served him right for being such a douchebag obsessed with dieting.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You only live once,” he shrugged.

“The accident did change you,” Aron smirked. “Well, not that I wanted you to go through such a thing. But I kind of like the change.”

“You do?”

“We never shared a pizza. I can barely wait,” Aron said the words with one big exhale that made Carter wonder what else Alex had deprived Aron of, during these two years of happy married life.

“I need to change first,” Carter turned on his heels but stared confused at the three different doors that were connecting the living room to other areas of the house. Which one was supposed to lead to his bedroom?

“Let’s do it together,” Aron pushed him gently in the right direction. “I need to check if you really are in one piece.”

Carter stifled a groan as Alex squeezed his ass a bit too hard. The man was at his wit’s end, probably. And so was he, but for totally different reasons.

TBC