You & I - 9. Chapter 9

To Sherlock,

Yes, you are awesome, thank you so much, I won't disappoint you, Mr. Holmes. I will be the best quote unquote secretary you have ever had since whenever your first book was composed. I wish to apologize and say that I agree that it is uncool that our company does not have a customer returns policy. Unfortunately, since I am not HQ, I will pass on your proposal, and I will pray that they will implement your devised plan and adapt our operating criteria to make it more beneficial for the customer.

I have to say you got a chuckle out of me with your questions. I was expecting real inquiries for some weird reason. I don't know why, but that was just that. I didn't think you'd take it as a joke, though inherently you were. Nevertheless, I had a good laugh at your expense, and I thank you for that. So, as to the questions outlined in the text below, I will answer them.

1. How good are my coffee brewing skills? – Let's just assume that it is legendary for the moment. I pour half a container of coffee, and then I add a sweet mixture of hot boiling water. From there it either turns out like tar or a good cup of Joe. I'll let you decide when you actually try it, but I want to make it officially clear if you die from ingesting my poison, I will take no part in it, and you've been warned.

2. What do I say to being covered in sticky notes? As odd as it may sound that appears to be appealing. How many people can say that they've been covered like a shredded chicken, or like the guys from Home Alone after they've gone through the obstacle with all the feathers from the pillows? Rightly that is what I imagine, it is what I picture in mind. If we have an office together, and I walk into your personalized detective suite covered in stickies of all different luminous colors. I'd really light up the room now wouldn't I? Then somewhere from that mess all across my body, I look down and noticed that your 2:30 appointment was over an hour ago, and I didn't call in to tell you that the person has been sitting in the lobby for the last hour. Somehow, I find it amusing.

3. Unfortunately, I sing like an Irish Banshee, I cannot say that my singing voice is spectacular or anything to be duly noted. I must suggest if you wish to hear me singing I can try to get you a nice little tune or two going, which will probably make your ears bleed. Then again, that is entirely up to you if you wish to wear air defenders when I start my singing. I might know a little country, a little bit of pop and some Tina Turner but that's about it. As for yodeling, yes that's not gonna happen. I'm not reenacting the yodeling kid from Walmart. I guess if I did presumably try, I'd cough up blood because it is so hard to do, but then again why did I make this all so dark all of a sudden? I reckon my mind is twisted.

4. Do I make good sandwiches? To your amazement, I do. Not that you will ever get one because you know Sherlock has to make his own just because everybody has a peculiar taste. Plus, that is not something I do. I'm supposed to do your filing work, not your BLT. Except, I guess I could let you in on the secret recipe of my lunches, and you can make me a sub; then we will all live in a sandwich land, and everybody will be so happy eating sandwiches.

5. Last but not least, what would be my initial reaction of falling to my death? Most certainly I would pee a little, cry all of my descent on the way down. I even scream the moment I get close to the edge of a cliff. I'm not a fan of heights, so let's keep that between the two of us, and never endanger each other when heights are concerned. If I was on a high building and you were climbing, and you fell, dangling hanging on by one arm. Well then, I'd say adios. I ain't going nowhere near that ledge.

So, will you tell me how I did? Did I pass the test, or am I blindly addicted to the hope that I will be accepted by your excellence? Therefore, let's just agree that both of us love to sleep in general, because whenever I can get it, I never want it to end.

As for Mr. Murphy, I'm over it… I think. You're lucky that you don't have any classes with him because he's a right dickhead… Whatever you do, please don't show this to your teacher or otherwise I could get in further trouble for even calling a faculty member such a ludicrous word. Truth be told yes, he does expect a little bit more from your average student when such a thing is not possible. Again, I'm sorry if that stung a bit of the reference concerning Mr. Murphy and how I am stuck participating in this program. Then again, I surmise I'm not the only one considering everybody around me is writing letters.

When I look to my left and both right, I wonder if the people who they are talking to is like you and me. Just how far did they get on communicating alone. I believe we've gotten off to a great start and everything seems to be looking up. I'm optimistic about the future here, I hope you are too. Even though it's turning out to be beneficial in the long run for my grades, I'm delighted I'm making a new friend. Let's scratch the idea of getting a grade. I think the bond we are starting to develop is a lot stronger than any grade can give.

I'm not sure what brought upon your interpretation of all jocks to be dicks. I'm sorry if, in the past, my social group has had an adverse effect on you. I promise though if you were hanging out with me, it wouldn't be like that. I'd treat you like any other person I know. Furthermore, I'm sorry if the reason you have had to adapt and change your lifestyle just to fit in was that of someone like me apparently. Genuinely I think I am a nice guy, I don't mistreat anybody. So maybe if you could just try and accept that not every sporty person is a dickhead and I am not out to get you or anything, then that would be good.

Money can buy nice things, but yeah right, cash cannot buy a good friend, trust, and loyalty or happiness. I remember I watched a documentary a while back... I know: don't judge, I watch documentaries. Now, on the contrary, I don't watch them all the time, but just so you know, I do like getting a bit of information every so often. Anyhow, I was saying I saw this addition about how people in America are faring when it comes to happiness and the work-life. It finds that people who tend to have more capital in their bank accounts, more of the luxurious things in life, seem to be generally obnoxious. Where are people who have a lump sum of money to live from, but not entirely rich, and neither are they in the middle-class section of the socioeconomic level? They tend to be somewhat within the happiest because they are experiencing a bit of the best of both worlds. Ideally, the people who have the least are also the most content. The ones who want more or less are typically the saddest.

In most cases, many of these people who have come a long way have had to grow and open such positions where money was not always a common element. My family is okay; I suppose with money. We are comfortable, I'd reckon we are more than adequate. My dad is a lawyer, we have comfort that we did not know we had about 10 years ago, and that makes all the difference. However, I would not say that we are extremely rich, or anything like that but I don't think I would want to be because I'm happy where I am.

I'm sorry perhaps I misinterpreted what you actually were saying. I'm sorry if I got my wording wrong or stated that you weren't passionate. It's just you made it sound like that you don't do anything. You're either not excited enough about it, or you're either a little nervous to even try it. I can tell you that being scared is an integral part of anything when you're starting from scratch. The way I look at it is that we're only here once, so why waste all the time in the world when you don't have all the time in the world.

Seems like just yesterday I was sucking on my thumb and running around in diapers, now I'm like I don't know, trying to figure out the whole dating game and stuff like that. I tell you, man it is difficult. Of course, I wouldn't let anybody know that because you know if I was saying I wanted to date them… well… I'd try to be smooth. I guess at least trying is better than not even giving it a chance. Except for heights you can skip that part, I ain't doing that.

Typically, when I run into people who have a different outlook on life, I welcome them with open arms. The world would get boring so quickly and so fast if everyone were the same and to be honest, I don't think I'd want to live if everyone were the same. Who wants to go around like a motionless zombie all the time when there is better experiences and things to see and awesome stuff to do.

About your psychic ability; yeah, you stay well away from me… Bending spoons is not something the average human can do so away-away. That is unless your intellectual capacity is actually grabbing the spoon from the top and the bottom and twisting it with your bare hands. Good to know the tip has been noted, and any time I see another dude with a bagel with a hole in it and his finger in the center, I will run the other way.

Just a random thought which will probably make you chuckle but my father calls ring doughnuts, "donuts with a less fatting center." I don't know why, but I always found it funny, and I've never corrected him on it. I think we all have our little quirks, that is one of his.

Good on you choosing the alternative route against foul language. You were really serious about your mother applauding you for using bad language? Your mom sounds wicked… Not in a bad way, I mean like wicked awesome. If I were to do that, I'd probably get a slap across the back of the head by my dad or something you know for using such context. And hey the long-ass abbreviation is my thing: you find your own Sherlock. I thought of it first so away-away.

You know you're a genius, I have thought about bringing my little brother out to play outside to get him off the computer.

Except for the number one thing I always hear when I bring him out to play ball is, "do we have to do this." Or, "I'm tired."

Parents should take a little bit more consideration when they are buying their kids electronics. I presume now these days it's considered an integral part of life where parents need to buy their kids stuff in order for the kids to keep up with their peer group. I reckon an iPhone would be like rookie cards back in the day.

That said I thought you would've said John Carpenter's a legend. I know most of the names you mentioned on the list, and I know Alfred Hitchcock. I'm not exactly stupid, you know. Besides the points, I did find your little interpretation about how you listed off Psycho, Rear Window, and The Birds. Dear old mother had me in stitches.

I can assume that it is a creepy thing to have a guy staring at you through a telescope or camera. I can imagine that is something that happens in real life, and well I hope I've never been spied on. As for the new director James Wan, isn't he the guy who directed The Conjuring.

I'm sorry for having friends okay, I mean I can't correctly do anything about it if people just want to talk to me. I can't say, "here I don't want to talk to you because I'm not allowed to make friends."

Can I ask why you like bashing all the jocks? It's like you have vengeance or something and we're not all like that bad. I'm trying to be as nice as I can here, so can you at least try to be accommodating. I might have some friends, but of all of the people that I'm surrounded by, I probably only trust one or two people so theoretically, I've only one or two friends. And I can assume that everyone else has the same.

I think music is neat, only some will really get it. I believe that's the mystery question of life. "Who we are, and what is our real purpose for being here." The other ideology is, "are we alone in this universe."

Plus, don't be so quick to brush off the concept of you being the other kid there might be a possibility that you are. Who knows? Do you have blonde hair; that might narrow the suspect pool. I'm beginning to make a bit of a mental image as far as I can remember. I only need a gazillion other things down, and then I might be able to make a computer-generated model of you in my head. Okay, I heard that too… it's creepy.

You consider a piano a significant instrument, I suppose it is a big ask when you're told to play a specific event, but I think of it as another instrument. I don't set out to be cool by playing, I just do it.

Anyway, I think I should go… I think I've written enough, and could you please maybe try and stop making it sound like all jocks are evil. I ensure we're really not. Oh, and eh… I'm in ninth grade. How about you; what grade are you in?

Right, well see-ya

From,

Watson

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