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    D.K. Daniels
  • D.K. Daniels
  • Author
  • 03/22/2019
  • 1,088 Words
  • 2,489 Views
  • 12 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

You & I - 21. Chapter 21

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To Sherlock,

Hey, I know I picked a shitty time to come out I guess. I can't remember what I wrote in the last letter, all I can recall is that I kept saying that I'm not. Man, it felt like the longest weekend in my entire life waiting for a reply from you. I figure I do have a knack for choosing the right time. Thank you. Thank you for not bailing on me or thinking I'm sick. You know the first thing when I came into school this morning, I was greeted to a fight between a couple in the corridor outside my homeroom.

Typically, I'd be the type of person to break the fight up, but not today. It's hard to explain what I've been feeling for so long that anytime I try to think about it, it's numb. I had a lot of time to myself on Saturday and Sunday, and all I thought about was I hope I don't lose the only real friend I have. From the start, you have been nothing but kind to me, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

If you have ever been bullied by people I know, or maybe me, I'm so sorry. I never thought about the repercussions of saying what I said in the letter could be used for blackmail. Except, I'm trusting you are a more stand-up guy than me so I won't mention any more about the matter. Hell, I took your advice, and I didn't wait for you to go to a counselor. I have an appointment for Wednesday, so I'm going to see the school therapist so to speak.

Legitimately I could barely crawl out of bed this morning, but when I got to the homeroom, and I checked the mailbox, you have no idea how I felt. It was like I could exhale when I saw your overwhelming sense of acceptance within the first paragraph. I started to tear up in class. By the time I got to the end of the letter, the shortest we have had in a long time might I add, a sense of joy had overcome me. It didn't feel like I was juggling the Empire State building on one shoulder and the Burj Khalifa on the other. It was like this blanket of shame was lifted, and I feel happy now, but at the same time, I'm still a little sad, but not depressingly sad.

I think I have been battling with myself for a number of years. I can't believe I'm saying all of these things so easily when not only it's hard to admit to myself, but you also know who I am. I guess all along I just wanted someone to understand, and you do… ish. I don't quite understand what it means to be normal, only it seems as if I can breathe easily for now. The rest of my life is still a blur, but I presume I will get by.

You are right, I am hard on myself. Do you think anyone else would know by looking at me? Would you know if you didn't know me? Sorry, I'm just rooting for assurance. What makes us so analytical concerning ourselves? Why is it I seek validation from pinpointing out every flaw I have rather than trying to embrace it and adapt to make it work for me? Anytime I chase my insecurities it's like I'm hunting myself with a machete in hand.

The only thing I'm doing is carving out a more horrible presumption of who I honestly am. I'm not trying to be self-assured here, but I think I'm an okay person. I mean, I'm not stupid, and I'm good at a lot of things. I don't deliberately hurt, not unless I am trying to defend myself. So, why is it, it only takes one molecule or a problem to drown out the effects of many great.

I'm nervous about going to the counselor on Wednesday. I've never talked to anyone about my emotions before. Does it make me pathetic? Perhaps does it make me look weak? Will I have to talk about my sexuality to them?

I apologize, I'm fishing for answers, again aren't I? It's just… nevermind. I'll play it out and see how it goes. Yeah, I'll just be brave about the whole situation. Why does it feel like I'm going for a major operation or something? The anticipation is not what I expected it to be… God these last few letters really do leave a lasting impression on my so-called mental stability. I promise, I'm A-OK, and I repeat not, I'm not going to jump off a building or sink myself to the bottom of the nearest bay.

On Saturday I was looking over the old letters you wrote to me. I hope it's not weird, but I kept all your messages. They are safe inside a drawer of my desk in my bedroom. I read all the things you sent to me while I was waiting out the anticipation of what was to come today… Monday.

We were like so random and funny.

Now things are like serious… talk about a buzz kill. I have a habit of killing the positive energy in the room, huh?

I have noticed other guys in a couple different grades who might be gay, but the only person I know in our year… well, my year is him. I guess you could say I have a little crush… oh man, I'm cringing writing this, but I do fancy him just a little bit.

I find I have nothing else to say. I can't lie about it, though I just feel like sharing. You know so much about me, and I don't know anything about you. The only thing I do know is that you play an instrument, you like science, you're smart, thoughtful, and funny. Everything else is a blur, I don't know who my best friend is. My other best friend, sure he's there for me, but not for something like this. Would it be wrong to say or even suggest that I like you more? I mean, I have no secrets left. You know every aspect of my life now, and I don't know anything about you, nothing. Can you tell me something about you, something real, something Sherlock?

Anyway, I have to get going to class, you know to be the normal kid everyone wants me to be.

 

Later,

Max

Thank you guys for another read, as always there is more to come. Care to share your feedback, then let me know what you think :)  

I can officially say, I have written the last chapter and inscribed the words, "The End." And I'll tell you it feels bloody great lol. I hope the story lives up original value with the ending. The official ending is chapter 23. Everything must come to an end and as this story does, I'll move on to bigger and more powerful stories. Thanks for all your time :)

***

A special thanks to my patrons: Thomas Tallis, Don Jr., Joen, John, Danny, Matt, Scott

***

For updates and a full compilation of all my work, visit my website at - www.dk-daniels.com

Copyright © 2018 D.K. Daniels; All Rights Reserved.
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  • Love 5
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

OzLoGo

I have enjoyed your stories from the very first thing I read of yours. This one was such a different format I found myself totally engrossed. You did a great job of taking two people and introducing them to us in such a way me for and I am sure I speak for the other readers as well. I really cares about these guys. I learned so much about them and there were times I wanted to write to one of them and tell them wake up  see what you are being told. I picked right away that Max was probably gay and having a hard time dealing with it.  You created two charters that are so real in my mind that I can’t shake that they are just made up in your mind for us to read about.   You accomplished a great deal with this story.  Yes they need to make physical contact and become good friends. 

  • Love 1
JeffreyL

I must confess somewhere in the middle I was less excited about these guys. I was having trouble with keeping straight who was who. The premise was great! I liked the idea of the letters, and I really liked the beginning. Now I am back to really enjoying the story and the last several chapters where the reveal for Max and Isaac gets closer and actually happens! I am hopeful the ending will have them being friends. Thanks.

  • Love 2
D.K. Daniels
On 3/22/2019 at 5:39 PM, ObicanDecko said:

This story is so sweet and heartwarming! Lovely to see two teenage guys getting to know each other and becoming friends through letters. I'm sure Max will be a great friend to Isaac!

Thanks for your comment, I believe so too that Max will be a good friend. When I started writing, I didn't want to have a whole lot of drama, compared to my other stories, so I just wanted it to be an easy read and sweet. Glad that has come through in the writing :) I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

  • Love 1
D.K. Daniels
On 3/24/2019 at 4:45 AM, OzLoGo said:

I have enjoyed your stories from the very first thing I read of yours. This one was such a different format I found myself totally engrossed. You did a great job of taking two people and introducing them to us in such a way me for and I am sure I speak for the other readers as well. I really cares about these guys. I learned so much about them and there were times I wanted to write to one of them and tell them wake up  see what you are being told. I picked right away that Max was probably gay and having a hard time dealing with it.  You created two charters that are so real in my mind that I can’t shake that they are just made up in your mind for us to read about.   You accomplished a great deal with this story.  Yes they need to make physical contact and become good friends. 

You have pretty much messaged on all my stories at some point or another, and it always makes my day when I see a comment from you. It reminds me in a way, that people are reading and still enjoying my work, even if they comment or not. I know the format is similar to my diary entries from As They Say, but I was interested in two characters communicating all at once. I had no idea I was going to start a pen-paling series, but I apparently did lol. I glad that you have grown an attachment to the characters I have written. I try really hard to get to the reader to emphasize with the characters even if they are good or bad in some form. Plus, the world it takes place in; I try to give it lots of rich details so it makes it appear that the world they live in is lived in. What gets me every time is when a reader feels sad, happy or angered by my writing. In a way it means, I got under your skin or into your heart. As the story draws to a close, I can't wait to complete the boy's adventure and begin another :)

D.K. Daniels
On 3/24/2019 at 5:06 AM, JeffreyL said:

I must confess somewhere in the middle I was less excited about these guys. I was having trouble with keeping straight who was who. The premise was great! I liked the idea of the letters, and I really liked the beginning. Now I am back to really enjoying the story and the last several chapters where the reveal for Max and Isaac gets closer and actually happens! I am hopeful the ending will have them being friends. Thanks.

It's good to have you back. I'll also confess that you are not the only one. I was lost with my own work at times about who was talking. Though as I begin to do a full edit from top to bottom, hopefully, it will fix these issues and make it easier for future readers or reads. I hope you enjoy the remainder of the story, and that the last chapter does not present a bit of a challenge as I shift format slightly from letters to text messages. :)

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